Hi, I'm a 21 year old girl. What I am writing here may also be proof of the title of my problem. The truth is that I am too weak and too influenced by the opinions and behavior of other people. This has been a problem for me since I was a child in primary school, high school ... I've just always been one of the children who crush them, make them laugh, etc. and already in this period of my life I realize that I'm to blame for it so as my behavior provokes such reactions in other people ... I realize that I have too many complexes, justified or not and quite often I feel stupid, even if friends tell me it's not ... But sometimes I'm very shy, not I can say what I think at the risk of not hurting anyone or the consequences. I'm afraid to talk about my feelings and quite often I agree with things which I want because I worry. I'm not a conflicted person and I don't like to fight, but I make excessive compromises and people see it and take advantage of it, especially if they are tougher. I want to feel stronger and more confident, not affected by the slightest remark and it bothers me. I'm just too sensitive and all these years of negative attitudes are not so easily eradicated. It's just as if I'm used to others crushing me and making me feel weaker, incompetent, stupid, etc ... I know that I put myself in the role of a victim, but I still don't know what to do ... that's why I turn to you to give me advice. Thanks in advance for any reply! :) especially if they are more rigid in nature. I want to feel stronger and more confident, not affected by the slightest remark and it bothers me. I'm just too sensitive and all these years of negative attitudes are not so easily eradicated. It's just as if I'm used to others crushing me and making me feel weaker, incompetent, stupid, etc ... I know that I put myself in the role of a victim, but I still don't know what to do ... that's why I turn to you to give me advice. Thanks in advance for any reply! :) especially if they are more rigid in nature. I want to feel stronger and more confident, not affected by the slightest remark and it bothers me. I'm just too sensitive and all these years of negative attitudes are not so easily eradicated. It's just as if I'm used to others crushing me and making me feel weaker, incompetent, stupid, etc ... I know that I put myself in the role of a victim, but I still don't know what to do ... that's why I turn to you to give me advice. Thanks in advance for any reply! :) It's just as if I'm used to others crushing me and making me feel weaker, incompetent, stupid, etc ... I know that I put myself in the role of a victim, but I still don't know what to do ... that's why I turn to you to give me advice. Thanks in advance for any reply! :) It's just as if I'm used to others crushing me and making me feel weaker, incompetent, stupid, etc ... I know that I put myself in the role of a victim, but I still don't know what to do ... that's why I turn to you to give me advice. Thanks in advance for any reply! :)
Answers 8
A 21-year-old boy is writing to you. I was in the same position years ago. Hormones control behavior, if you change them - you change your behavior, and these behavioral changes begin to act on the brain over time and change your habits and character. You have too much sugar, adrenaline and cortisol in your blood. The answer is sport. Either sign up for something, or run every morning, increasing the intensity of your run gradually. And make sure it's in the sun to synthesize vitamin D for your skin. Lift muscle dumbbells or go to the gym. These loads will "wash away" harmful hormones.
Come on, nonsense about strong and weak character. The fact that you try to ensure peace of mind does not mean that you are weak, reluctant and thousands of nonsense on wheels. Your problem is that you have a problem with yourself, not others with you. You don't like yourself, so you get hurt quickly, you suffer when someone remarks or comments on you. You need a change - stay away from people who oppress you, find an environment that is tactful and mature enough and accepts that not all people are like them, respects your right to opinion. And believe me, you will feel much better, you will even start to like yourself a little less. "Escape" from the opinion of others and the opinion of yourself.
From the Author Number 3 I know that my problem is with myself and not with others with me .. I think I said it several times in the post that my behavior is just such as to provoke such reactions in others. Because when someone insults me, I get hurt, but I keep quiet and I get naughty and I don't defend myself, even if it is purely verbal and that's why I feel weak. Yes, people who are not pleasant to me, I avoid, I have friends, but very often meeting with such people are inevitable everywhere ...
You know, I notice something in you, and that is that despite everything, you are an intelligent girl, you have discovered your problem, you realize it and you are trying to fix it by looking for a way to do it! :) You explained it well and despite everything, I tell you, too, that you are not weak! You know, as much as I don't want to, I'm like you. When they tell me something, I take it a lot inside and I get very naughty. I am careful in my words, trying not to offend some. Anyway, you shared it here and I know it was wrong to tell about me! :) I know what it's like to be crushed using them. Maybe you need to separate yourself from people who, you think, have been crushing you for at least about a month. Wherever you go to meet people who don't care, they like to covet and insist on respecting them, the longer you spend with them the better for you! GUARANTEE without telling them about your problem they will help you! :)
What can I tell you, when I was little I was like that too, but later I shook myself. My life is kind of weird now, but at least I'm surrounded by friends I'm happy with. In principle, I rarely say that, but for people like you I help so that they can feel life as it should. I have a lot of acquaintances whom I have helped and now they feel confident with a strong character and always ready to help others, because they know what they went through!
I'm the same as you. I will follow your topic ... I hope you at least deal with your fears and complexes!
Despite what I read, you are very intelligent and smart. I think you can handle it, but you need someone to help you, because without a good friend to rely on and help you ... I don't know what to say.
You put yourself in the role of a victim, but others gladly put themselves in the role of a bully and have no problem with that. The very phrase "put yourself in the role of a victim" is coined to justify those on the other side. She suggests that it is normal to be mentally trampled and beaten, and we should be grateful for that and not complain. If you find even a country or at least a planet in the solar system where this is considered normal behavior by 100% of those living there, then I can think. Not the majority, because it is not always right. Was Hitler hated by 90% of Germans in Germany at the time? :) Author, it's hard to get out of this vicious circle. You need to feel when you are affected by the remarks of others and then start thinking in these moments things like: " Why do I care what they think? Are they the most enlightened / knowledgeable people to blindly believe their opinion? Can't I just ignore their remarks without being impressed? "It will be difficult at first, but after a while you will get used to ignoring them as if they are not more important than you, but just part of the landscape. You have to do this - take them off the pedestal you gave them and give them you put them at the bottom where they belong, when they have fun humiliating and harassing the weaker ones.