Hi, I'm 24 and I soon broke up with my friend, who is much older than me. At first I did not pay attention to the difference in our age, he is 40, but we liked each other a lot and got along great. In time, however, I realized that he had been trampling in one place all his life and it would be difficult for me to have a future with him, as he was not stable, but claimed to be ready for children. They found serious damage to my right ovary and they had to remove it, but when I told him about it, I didn't feel any support from him ... as if I told him that I was fine. I saw that he could not support me, because he himself is permanently depressed and always complains about something. I made the difficult decision to separate, I told him, and he accepted it quite calmly, as if he was expecting it ... he didn't even ask me why I wanted to separate and he didn't call me even once after that. He completely erased me, as if I were gone. However, with each passing day it becomes more and more difficult for me and I think more and more about it and it hurts. I'm sad ... I don't know how to go through it.
Answers 8
First I want to tell you that you did the right thing. It is not good for you to build a family with a person who has no support and is eternally depressed. Even if she had stayed with him, you would not have been very happy and calm. It may have been bearable at this point, but in a few more years it would weigh far more and you would post a topic here that would not be positive at all. You suffer because you loved. You feel bad that he accepted the separation lightly and did not show that he cared. It sucks that he didn't support you. It hurt before you broke up with him, now these emotions just have a stronger voice and you define them as a strong lack. Yes, you miss it, but behind that lack there is much more, there is pain from the things that are the reason for your separation. It's probably hard for you to accept that you didn't have a chance to speak on the subject, to share, that he didn't want your explanations. You may miss your moments and the image you have built for him in your mind more than you really miss him and everything between you. What do you miss? That he didn't support you, that he was regularly gloomy, that he was trampling on a situation, that he wasn't developing, that he wasn't standing still and there was no security? Imagine you were together and ask yourself, what would happen, what is the most logical thing to happen? Give yourself time to overcome it, but believe that you have made the right choice. If you hadn't done it then, you would have felt lonely for years while there seemed to be a man next to you. No one else can understand your pain, but since you left him and now you feel bad, you must have seen something in him that you knew you could not come to terms with. You did something difficult, to make it easier for you in the future. You have protected yourself and your future children, a man who does not support you is not a man with whom you should share your life. You may have loved him, but he wasn't your man. It will pass, think things over a few more times, pour out your pain and wait for the day to come when you will feel better.
In the beginning it is normal to be like that, but don't worry - time heals, you will pass.
wait, wait - so you played it, and then you complain that he is not looking for you, he is not crawling at your feet for forgiveness, right? :) you know, it seems better to take a dog - obviously you have not heard of such things as honor, dignity, self-esteem :) a woman's life goes through three stages: - in the first breaks her father's nerves - in the second short her husband's nerves - in the third she breaks her son-in-law's nerves :)
Personally, I do not see the point in this regard given that he may be your father for years. You shouldn't be together. You need someone up to 30, not older. If he is no longer married by the age of 40 and has no children, then consider what a commodity it is if no one has taken it long ago. Otherwise you feel lonely, not that you can't go through it. For example, I had a very violent quarrel with my friend and broke up with him and I felt lonely, I used to see him regularly, to be my friend, I left all my friends to have time for him. When I broke up with him and there was no one to go out with anymore, there was no other man in my life and that's why I had to reconcile with him again and when I find another man, then I will be able to leave him. You are in this situation at the moment, you do not miss him, you miss being with someone.
Hmm ... Answer the following questions: What awaits you in the next 10 years if you get together again? And if not? What are the criteria you have for the person next to you? What part does it cover? If his reaction was very dramatic and he was constantly looking for you, calling, would you still want to go back to him? What is the exact reason you are sad? Did you later realize that you actually loved him and made a mistake or because you felt unwanted and unloved because of his reaction?
If he doesn't look for you, even if he asks you how you are, then while you were together he cared so much about you. People who leave easily and they erase quickly and pretend they've never been there are the ones who haven't invested enough in your relationship. They wave and end - you don't exist from tomorrow. It may be a sham, but if he hasn't looked for you at all, he draws his own conclusions. And I was wondering how he didn't think of me at all, even once, but I was obviously expecting something he just couldn't do. It even takes courage to look for someone in time and take an interest in their life. Not to be angry, but simply with the best intentions and interest. But I repeat, it takes courage, which, unfortunately, many men do not have. Driven by some misunderstood ego and pride, they would not pick up the phone or draw a line. This man has given you months, maybe years of his life, but he doesn't find time to look for you. That means he doesn't value his time, his emotions enough to dial a number. It gets easier over time, but try not to suffer so much for someone who obviously didn't appreciate you enough. I know you had feelings, hopes, and it hurts to break. I know it hurts to suffer for someone and not care. I know it hurts to be forgotten so quickly. But maybe, in time, you'll realize that it was better that way, and you'll find the right person for you. You just have to believe. Success! that it hurts to suffer for someone and not care. I know it hurts to be forgotten so quickly. But maybe, in time, you'll realize that it was better that way, and you'll find the right person for you. You just have to believe. Success! that it hurts to suffer for someone and not care. I know it hurts to be forgotten so quickly. But maybe, in time, you'll realize that it was better that way, and you'll find the right person for you. You just have to believe. Success!
Grit your teeth a little, de. In fact, you don't lose anything, if he hasn't even asked you about the reason, then there is not the slightest desire to develop your relationship. You don't need this depressed grandfather.
Thanks to all of you for the comments :). In such moments one needs support and a little optimism. You are awesome!