Dear readers, I want some advice from you. I don't know if I'm not obsessed with the impossible or if my friend is wrong. I am 17 years old. we are both engaged and live on a family basis. I study at a prestigious school and I have excellent success. my parents are very understanding people and do not hinder my relationship because of my age. so far so good. but we have a bad and considerable disadvantage - we live with theirs. and I would not complain to my mother-in-law because she is a very good woman, but my father-in-law is unbearable. he doesn't work because he has a sick heart and stays at home all day drinking and when I get home I listen to the scandals he raises about his wife. besides, I don't just wear sixes to school, but I go to work every day. I haven't rested since ........ I don't remember when, and every night when we sit down to dinner I only listen to him complain. sometimes I try not to listen to him, but it is simply impossible. besides, the apartment we live in is very small - my husband and I have one room - 3 by 2 (I'm not exaggerating). we only argue with him because he tells me that if I don't stop neglecting his parents, I have to pack. I love him very much and I know he does too, but things can't go on like this. please advise me whether to change my attitude or he is wrong and to insist on the desire to move out (even though we have no money). I hope someone will give me advice. but things cannot go on like this. please advise me whether to change my attitude or he is wrong and to insist on the desire to move out (even though we have no money). I hope someone will give me advice. but things cannot go on like this. please advise me whether to change my attitude or he is wrong and to insist on the desire to move out (even though we have no money). I hope someone will give me advice.
Answers 11
First I will say that for me you are too young to be engaged and to live on a family basis with someone. I'm 21 and I never imagined being married to someone, non-stop, etc. But I'm just basically like that, everyone decides for themselves, but anyway. You still have so much time in front of you. It's weird that you spend your best years this way. I hope things get better. Although, reading about his father, it seemed to me that your husband would somehow always protect his parents and more or less put someone above you. You want to move out properly, because it sucks, you're still a young "family" and you don't have to listen to your father's nonsense. After a while, he may scream at you too. Maybe it would be good to separate for a while, to go home and be a normal 17-year-old girl for at least a few months (if you don't want so much, at least for one). Going to school, having fun with your girlfriends ... Family life can wait a while, to see how things will develop.
From now on, when you fight over his parents, what's next? Knowing this is a problem in many families - some said so, others otherwise and many marriages have broken down for this reason. But what's worse is that he protects them and that for him they are more important than you. This will always be a problem for you no matter where you live. You just chose such a man. I think it's too early for you to get married, there is more to see in life. And I wonder to you how smart they let you live with them, because you are still a student. I don't know ....... it's complicated.
Something is not clear. You write that you have no problems with his parents, you just can't listen to how your father-in-law complains. What kind of neglect of his parents does your fiancé accuse you of? How old is he? Without money you can't move out. In principle, neither parent should interfere, in this case yours have the right because you are not an adult, but you seem to be in a hurry.
I want to draw the young lady's attention to the fact that, even if she gets excellent grades, her spelling evokes sad thoughts about our education. Provided that he studies in a prestigious school, which still presupposes intellectual ability and ambition, and has support and wonderful parents, it would be better to focus on his education. It will give her opportunities to gain more independence and self-esteem. And if the choice of a partner is correct, then her love should withstand both the distance and the test of time. If it turns out not to be the case, she will not have missed anything and will be able to move forward without much tremor for herself.
Author, what is this prestigious school to protect my child from it! You are very small for a family and when you fight - what do you do in this home? Why don't you go to your parents - isn't there a place there? And now that you are arguing, how do you imagine your life together, for example, after 5 years?
I will try to be brief: - You are really too young for seed life. Don't take offense, but it's true. The average age for married women goes to 30 years. Consider. - MANDATORY (!!!) you must live separately from both parents. If you can't afford it - wait with the marriage. After the marriage and with the timekeepers, both his wife and his parents were disgusted. If it is unbearable now, then it will get worse (100%).
Say something more encouraging
Encouraging ?! Darling, hope is before you! Do not enslave yourself! Your life is just beginning. Love is for a time, and respect for a lifetime, you do not have the second, which is the most war, the other that you have is incidental and evaporates! Grab the suitcases at Mom and Dad's too, until you start eating the slaps of your sweetheart for muttering and insulting Mom and Dad. Because if he was a man on the spot, he wouldn't let you be in that position. And you would be independent. With mom and dad, everyone knows. He is not ready for life, but where are you pushing? Go away! And where I have mom and dad, don't step in! away from the old ones, you're fine! try it, see how it will behave if you leave! Will it change the situation or not. If you don't ... don't get married and don't have children, you will look after them yourself and another man with children would have a hard time taking you and you will be like a cuckoo for the rest of your life! Sorry, if I have affected you, but you are very naive! Run and save yourself!
Life is in front of you and whether you will live it fully or at least well, depends on you, for now, as I read, you live a life not for your age, not to mention that it is not for patience. Go to mom and dad, that's where you belong ...
Drop it to live with theirs and you live life! and succeed! Why is he to you, and to torment his family, and there is no money! Drop it! Men as much as you want! You are too young for such a relationship!
Dear girl, get out of this situation. You are only 17 years old and life is ahead of you. You will meet a person who will love and understand you later. Experience your carefree teenage years with mom and dad and then think about home, husband, family and his parents. This situation with the father-in-law (or mother-in-law) exists everywhere where two generations live. This will deepen with each passing day and will not change.