Hello! I have a problem I can't solve. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, we went through 3 small sections, which were not for big reasons, but we just fought and at one point we ended. The last separation was 6 months, but we kept in touch. He started university again, met new people, but constantly talked about one of his colleagues in defiance of me. Over time, they became friends, which is normal, and he has a lot of female friends. I thought there was something more between them, but one day he came and said he had considered everything and wanted us to try again. We are together now, we continue from where we left off. I know this girl - appearance is not something special, although I am clear that appearance is not always a prerequisite for falling in love. In a few words - they met, when we were separated, but nothing happened, and he wanted me again. But somehow I'm terribly jealous of her - they still study together, they're together all day, he can't help but communicate with her, on the other hand, several times without raising scandals, I just told him if he was interested in her or another, to leave, to tell me without lying and wasting our time.
Every time I went crazy for her, he told me clearly that she was just a colleague, a pleasant interlocutor, of course, jokes, but in no way other interest in her. I want to believe him, and for 2 years he did not give me reason to doubt, and every time I was jealous of his girlfriend, over time I saw that all worries are the fruit of my imagination. When he denies me something, when he's not in the mood and wants to be alone, I always accept it, that it has to do with her. I want to stop raising scandals, to calm down somehow. I know that what is written will happen. And to be jealous, I can't stop or change anything if something is going to happen. Besides, he initially told me when they wrote to each other and about what, I just didn't accept it normally, but immediately went crazy, which is why he started saving me when they wrote and said what to write to each other in order to save another muttering. On the one hand, I am reassured that if there was something to her, she would not agree to meet again at all, and she would not deal with me, but on the other hand, I expect everything. Give me some advice or give me an opinion. How to calm down, how to stop thinking if something is happening between them, if there is something. I don't want the end of our relationship to be jealous again, because we have separated 2 times for a similar reason. I want this man, he knows my desires. He communicates with a lot of girlfriends all day, I also have mostly boyfriends. He is not one of those who just wants a boyfriend - he has told me 1 million times and proved that he does not need a boyfriend and if he is not with me, he will be alone for a long time.
He wouldn't catch up with anyone who paid attention to him, and he wouldn't sleep with someone like that for sports. I know from him that he is not ready and does not want a super deep relationship, of the kind of cohabitation, and I accept him, but he has told me many times that our relationship is serious and there is no third person in it. I don't want to ruin my relationship because of my jealousy, but I also don't know how to control it. i also have mostly boyfriends for friends. He is not one of those who just wants a boyfriend - he has told me 1 million times and proved that he does not need a boyfriend and if he is not with me, he will be alone for a long time. He wouldn't catch up with anyone who paid attention to him, and he wouldn't sleep with someone like that for sports. I know from him that he is not ready and does not want a super deep relationship, of the kind of cohabitation, and I accept it, but he has also told me many times that our relationship is serious and there is not and should not be a third person in it. I don't want to ruin my relationship because of my jealousy, but I also don't know how to control it. i also have mostly boyfriends for friends. He is not one of those who just wants a boyfriend - he has told me 1 million times and proved that he does not need a boyfriend and if he is not with me, he will be alone for a long time. He wouldn't catch up with anyone who paid attention to him, and he wouldn't sleep with someone like that for sports.
I know from him that he is not ready and does not want a super deep relationship, of the kind of cohabitation, and I accept him, but he has told me many times that our relationship is serious and there is no third person in it. I don't want to ruin my relationship because of my jealousy, but I also don't know how to control it. I know from him that he is not ready and does not want a super deep relationship, of the kind of cohabitation, and I accept him, but he has told me many times that our relationship is serious and there is no third person in it. I don't want to ruin my relationship because of my jealousy, but I also don't know how to control it. I know from him that he is not ready and does not want a super deep relationship, of the kind of cohabitation, and I accept him, but he has told me many times that our relationship is serious and there is no third person in it. I don't want to ruin my relationship because of my jealousy, but I also don't know how to control it.
Answers 11
Well, you yourself say that you also have mostly boy friends. Once you accept it as normal for yourself, you have to accept it for him. On the other hand, I know from personal experience that if a man has no sexual interest in a woman, he will not sit down to talk or write to her all the time. Unless young people are completely feminized. Yes, he can say 2-3 stories, but not constantly hanging out on the net or in cafes. In addition, from friendship it is easy to move on to a love story. The consolation with him is that he explained to you how things are between you. That is, he makes some commitment. How much you can trust him, only you can judge. You could tell him directly that you are not happy to be friends with this one. If you are important to him, he will shrink his fins a bit.
You are not jealous. Your suspicions are well-founded. He has this colleague for a second chair to sit on if something like a separation happens between you, whether it is initiated by you or by himself. This person is with you just not alone. Apparently he can manipulate once he makes you think he'll be alone for a long time if you break up.
You have already destroyed it, there is nothing to be deceived. Is this a relationship as he pays attention all day to another, and he remembers you after 6 months? You may want many things, but reality is important.
The more you pay attention to jealousy and doubt, the stronger they become. The faster you shift your attention from doubts to something more beneficial, you will notice how their power decreases. The other strategy is to get to know the girl, you will make sure that she also has her shortcomings. I dealt with these two practices almost completely with my jealousy.
I am addressing not only the author of the story, but all the young ladies who will come here, and I hope most of them will understand the essence of things. Jealousy is a defensive reaction to some danger. That is, any other woman you are jealous of, you accept as a danger, because you see that she is either beautiful and has something that you do not have, or in appearance may be nothing special, but has its own charm, and not her you know her as a person to know if your friend would fall in love with something of her character, for example. Well, he your friend, if he truly loves you, will have eyes only for you. a. If you are so jealous, you obviously do not have a high enough self-esteem. She has accepted you as you are, but if you continue with this sick jealousy, he will get bored at some point.
You may not like my opinion very much, but if you want to hear any opinions, I will write to you. I think that you are not jealous in vain, I think that female intuition never lies and to tell you the truth, I do not believe in pure friendship between a man and a woman. There may be exceptions, but they simply confirm the rule. I learned my lesson from living life. My husband came home from work with his colleague every night or two. I was bitten by suspicion and jealousy, too, but I had to think like a modern woman, rejecting what reason told me. My friends tried to open my eyes, but I struggled with myself and declared confidently "And what if he drives her, does he carry her on his back, why should the woman walk? And he said - we are just colleagues and he looked at me so much honestly ... "Just colleagues" they stopped for a quick sex in a secluded place outside the city, but as long as there are balaclavas, there will always be thugs. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you were not from the Balach team ...
There is something suspicious about this friendship with another girl. They may have been together during your quarrels. Try to make him jealous of you. Become a close friend with a boy, pay him a lot of attention. That is, do what your boyfriend does. And see how he reacts.
Listen to number 6, author, and you won't go wrong. For me, this guy is not worth it - he manipulates you, I even think he deliberately fuels your jealousy to scratch his ego. Do you want a man who deliberately annoys you, crushes you and makes you suffer? And whether he fucked the babe or not doesn't really matter. These scribbles and hideouts are not good anyway.
The author. Hello and thank you all for your comments. In fact, some things have happened since I wrote it. There is no third person, he is not involved, he just doesn't feel things anymore or rather he knows that he can't give me what I want, and he really thinks he's wasting my time. In general, we have not stopped everything, but that's where things go, because we have a very different view of what a serious relationship is and what is right. About the colleague ... I don't know, after this conversation I stopped being interested, asking questions. In the end, even if there is something, it will be understood, and even if there isn't, things between us have almost come to an end and I don't believe that anything will happen that will change the situation.
Jealousy is a disease that puts poison in your body and slowly but surely kills you. My husband is jealous too, and I'm not. He is handsome, with a great TV and his work is such that he meets a lot of people every day. I can control myself and I'm not jealous of him, because I know that if I let go of the reins of fantasy I'll go crazy, which is stupid. If someone wants to walk, no one can stop him! I shine with his jealousy, even though it's super annoying. I work in an office and he constantly asks me if my boss is there or colleagues and what our relationship is. Today he asked me if the boss's office was closing with a door, and I told him that not only was it closing, but there was also a bedroom, a pylon, handcuffs and whips!
Author: to number 10 - My friend answers me in similar ways if I harass him with such questions. I know it's a disease and I'm trying to control it now. In the end, with fear and scandal, I can lose it without anyone else. Thanks!