aveite! 19-year-old girl First I want to apologize for the mistakes. I write from the phone and the words are constantly edited in their own way .. I don't know how to start my story, or rather where to start telling .. I will try to be as short as possible. In general, my life is quite difficult and I have suffered too much for my age. I will start first with one of my biggest pains. That was when Grandma left, got sick, and soon became an angel. It was fading before my eyes. It was quite hard for me. It's been 7 years and the pain still holds me. Ever since I was a child, I was bullied at school. I was just different, I wasn't like the other kids. There were insults, ridicule, and physical harassment here and there. At home, my parents did not support me in the things I do. I have been involved in sports since I was a child. One time they didn't come to my race, once they did not say goodbye to my achievements. At the age of 12, I was accepted into the National Team of Bulgaria. Again, nothing .. When I came home from a race I was always greeted with the question :, Did you fall? . "And I was holding a gold medal in my hand and I wanted to show it so much, but I didn't. I put it in my bag. The next day at school, a teacher stopped me and asked me how it went. I said we were the first, she he rejoiced and hugged me and said, "Well done." The teachers supported me a lot. And Mom and Dad don't ... From this nepukism on their part, in any aspect, something happened that is in me to this day .. There was a teacher who was very good, always smiling and behaving very good. I became very attached to her. My love became so strong, so indescribable. I loved her the most in this world. She is like an angel. I love Torkova, she even fought me when she smoked, because I knew she was hurting herself. When she was absent and sick, I couldn't find a place. You can hardly understand what I'm talking about, because it wasn't just love for this teacher, it was something unreal, non-existent. When she thinks about it, Bach is ready for anything just so she can be well.
And my soul longed to embrace her strongly and to say how much I love her. But I was a disturbing girl, I couldn't throw myself at her, like the other students. I was willing to give my life for this man. It hurt a lot that I couldn't express my feelings. There was no way ... She is a teacher, I couldn't tell her what was in my heart, there was no way to explain my feelings, because I understood them. From the 5th of April until today I live with this in my hearts ... in the meantime other things have happened. My parents separated. My mother found a new friend. My brother lived with my mother and I lived with my father. I watched drunken stories almost every night. It wasn't that bad, but the smell of alcohol and my father's slightly inappropriate behavior was traumatic enough for me. And the constant insulting of my mother. Several years passed. And one day we found out that my mother's friend had cancer. No child wants to see their mother in such a state as I saw my mother. A year passed and the man literally disappeared before my eyes .. I don't even want to remember what condition my mother was in .. It took time and my parents came together from a financial point of view.
I don't know why my parents treated me terribly. Persistent shouting, scandals for nothing. I was not a poor child. My school was great, every teacher liked me. There were no problems with me. As soon as I finished, I started working. My mother constantly keeps track of everything. When I was 14 he was not interested and did not take into account, and now that I am an adult. He remarks to me that I'm talking to my friend on the phone or that we're writing to each other. What I found in him so much and what I love so much .. I understand that I am problematic and that's why they behave like that, but as I said I am a meek person .. I finished school with very good results .. I was often absent from school because of competitions, diseases, etc .. At the matriculation exams bach 2nd in the class, and in principle, those excellent students with good grades got 4s with transcription, and I was with 5.
5 without transcribing a single task. At the second matura, for which no one was preparing for us again I was with 5. Nobody told me 1 well done .. And they are happy with my brother's 3s. And don't think I'm jealous. It's just funny to me. I have other personal problems, but I am not told about them. I'm so fed up that I long for something to happen and die. I've wanted this since I was little. When I had a birthday, I wished I could die when I blew out the candle. And I was but 11-12 .. I had 1 unsuccessful attempt, but a friend saved me .. Our people did not understand .. And even if they did, they would hardly care ..
And without that, they constantly tell me that I am an obstacle. Just get on my feet and I'll get out of there. I don't know how much you understand me, but I really can't stand it And even if they did, they would hardly care ... And without that, they keep telling me that I am an obstacle. Just get on my feet and I'll get out of there. I don't know how much you understand me, but I really can't stand it And even if they did, they would hardly care ... And without that, they keep telling me that I am an obstacle. Just get on my feet and I'll get out of there. I don't know how much you understand me, but I really can't stand it
Answers 8
Set aside money, I looked for the opportunity to separate. You are an adult now, so take this step, because the longer you are in this situation, the worse for yourself. I understand what you went through, as if you were writing about me. None of my successes were reflected, neither in school, nor in the performances on the music scene. So over the years I was crushed that I just believed that I was not good for anything. Which is obviously not the case, because at school, at university, at work - I received praise everywhere, only at home a big nothing.
19-year-old girl your life is in front of you, once you start work, find a place to live and separate. I'm not saying it will be easy for you, but at least you will be independent, don't give up your future. Keep learning, develop, it does not depend on the opinion of this or that.
Honey! I sympathize with you, I also had periods in which I did not want to live. My advice is to get out of you. It will be a misery for the first few months until you get back on your feet, but over time you will recover. If you are going to become a student, maybe in a dormitory. You may have to work and study at the same time, it will be difficult, but This environment is toxic to you. Live with your friend, it is almost impossible, but if you are lucky, find friends who enjoy your success. You need love ...
There are parents who do not love their children equally. There are also those who for some reason simply do not love their child - they look at him as an enemy, a stranger or feel harmed by him. Some unknowingly blame the child for their own failures and unfulfilled desires, pass on their unresolved problems. Perhaps the circumstances surrounding the birth and the way the parents' lives have changed are important for the reasons, but with an adult child, it makes no sense to look for the reasons anyway. It's sad that you found yourself in such a family, author, but there's no point in wondering why. Don't look for the reasons, don't look for an explanation - this will bring you nothing but pain. It is important to know that it is NOT your fault. You have done nothing wrong or wrong. They are just like that and that will not change. The good thing is that since they didn't help you, at least they didn't prevent you from developing - you have achieved a lot. You have built character, discipline. It is important to get out of there as soon as you can - go to study in another city. Gradually limit your contacts and do not keep them informed of the things that are important to you, so as not to belittle them. Hear them from time to time, if you still want to see them - visit them once or twice a year for a short time on holidays and that's it. The farther - the better. You take your own path and do not look back :) Hear them from time to time, if you still want to see them - visit them once or twice a year for a short time on holidays and that's it. The farther - the better. You take your own path and do not look back :) Hear them from time to time, if you still want to see them - visit them once or twice a year for a short time on holidays and that's it. The farther - the better. You take your own path and do not look back :)
Work to find a man to marry. Love will surely change you. Think seriously. This will give you meaning in life. Go to church and listen to a sermon. They are usually from 10 a.m. on Sunday
Stop living for your parents' opinion, that's all I can tell you. From what you have written, it is clear that you yourself enjoy your personal achievements - good grades, won competitions, graduation exams, the availability of work at the moment. Well done! Here, I tell you. You don't have to hear that word from anyone to feel good. Your parents, no matter what they think, cannot change the past, you or your successes (future, past and present). You have friends who got you out of a suicide attempt. You have a boyfriend who talks to you, writes to you and gives you his time and attention. You graduated successfully. You are now an adult. You have decided that you will leave your home the second you have the financial means. In fact, you have reasons to live and feel good, and you have a solution to the problem with your parents. Forget the past, it's over. You are currently free and no one can take care of you. If I was on you and my mother criticized my relationship, I would go out to talk to my boyfriend without my mother prompting from behind. Do not feel sorry for yourself, you have found a way out, follow it boldly and do not look back anymore, so as not to stumble on a stone while walking forward.
You have a friend, don't you find sense in living in him? To build together, to live forever and to have your own loving family.
I don't know what advice to give, but I just want to share that I was very sad for the author. In order to become so attached to her teacher, she was apparently completely deprived of love at home. And for a child this is very difficult, he lives for the love and approval of his parents. That's all for him. There is nothing strange in the story with the teacher. At least I understand that, because my parents fought a lot, I lived in stress. Then, as a child, I was very attached to a teacher, only in kindergarten. And I cried a lot when she left, and I knew I wouldn't see her again. In time you will start a family, you will have a child and then he will get all the love you were looking for, but it was not for you. And you will see that it will be easier for you. Don't give up, life is still ahead of you.