We were together for 5 months then. Our relationship was new. We were both 26 years old. I really loved her and was in love with her. We had gathered for a party with friends, we were quite a large group. It was quite late, and some decided to leave. The party was at its max and I was among those who wanted to stay. She had to go home because her mother had called. We kissed and I sent her in a friend's car. The next morning, another friend who was with us and had left earlier with the others told me that he had seen them enter my other friend's apartment. She had written to me that she had come home so that there would be no scandals with her mother, and she went to bed immediately. I asked her directly if what I had heard was true. To my great regret, he could not deny it. Just when I felt happiest, the most unexpected thing happened to me. We broke up. Only I know what happened to me. Just a terrible period of my life. In the first days I didn't touch the other garbage. But in the end I couldn't stand it and one night I beat him. Whether because of this or not, shortly after this incident he went abroad and to this day he is there. All this happened in the summer of 2016. We were separated for exactly one year. I tried to be with other girls to forget her. But as I had sex with them, it was as if I could see her face, as if I heard her voice. Last summer some of our friends had a wedding. We were both invited, ironically. Our tables were so that we were directly facing each other and we looked at each other all night. I drank a lot that night, and as a result I suddenly went to her and talked to her. It was as if she was waiting. We exchanged a few stories there and she said we could go to them, she was alone that evening. I agreed and we went. We had extremely strong sex. But very crazy sex. I liked it a lot, it hadn't happened to me for a long time. She wanted us to be together again, but I flatly refused. I also explained that I no longer have any trust and therefore there can be no serious connection between us. However, she suggested that we not stop seeing each other. We were together almost every day and had sex. I was pleased with this fact again and it lasted for several months. Later, however, I don't know how things happened and we became boyfriends again. I'm telling you quite honestly, I really don't know how, but we started a relationship again. However, nothing is as it used to be for me. I have no confidence. I can't forget about infidelity and that weighs a lot on me. When I asked her why she did it, she told me it was stupid. Out of stupidity or whore for me it's all this. The strange thing is that we are still together. It is explained to me in love, nice kind words, extremely kind attitude on her part, and everything was as it should be. I really get the impression that she is in love with me and does her best to forget about that case. But I'm only with her for sex. I just admit it. I have a good job, a normal and quiet life, everything is right for me, and I also have quality sex every day. And that's why I pretend to have the same feelings as her. However, I do not have these warm feelings in me. I just don't see a common future, although I have no particular fear that he is cheating on me again. I even tried it. I also wrote from a fake profile, which I think was quite well done, she saw the message instantly, but did not respond. But even so, this mistake of hers weighs heavily on me. I tried to really forget about it, to look at things positively, but there just comes a moment and I think about that night and everything it did to me. However, I can't put an end to things inexplicably. Even after a year of separation, here I am with her again. And the anger inside me is still hovering. I even tried to cheat on her to get revenge on her or to calm down, I don't know if, but literally at the last minute I refused to go on a date with the other girl and dumped her. I decided that would not fix things. But I tell myself that if something just "happens" to me this time, I will not refuse, as I did when we were at the beginning of our relationship. I cared a lot about her then and I refused one of my former colleagues. From this I understand that I have changed. I don't know how to get out of this situation. I want to know if there are people who forgave the infidelity and then had a happy relationship again? How do you think I should act? Has anyone been in a similar situation or had direct observations? In general, what advice would you give me?
Answers 6
Seeing your doubts first, I think she thought of the profile, just no matter how you do it, it shows. To forgive her is right, but not to forget. Looking for your girl, the infidel is not exactly that girl. In fact, there are quite decent or at least enough to not be with this one. I just can't believe she's been with you and one day she decides to go to this friend's apartment. These women, like her, are never "such women", but something made them, circumstances, alcohol, stupidity. Stupidity is incurable, no matter how positive you are, to be with it is a visible mistake. Or at least don't stop looking for the right woman, and meanwhile do it with her, no matter how immoral.
It's never quite the same. It takes a hell of a long time to forget, most often it doesn't even happen. You can forgive, justify it to yourself and reunite with her, but you will still keep the stone of doubt. A relationship without trust is not a relationship. You hide your anger towards her, you want to take revenge on her, you are confused. I think you still hold on to it, you were in love and happy, and you were hurt. Neither your feelings will evaporate in a day, nor will your trust return to what it was. She must be sorry and wants to make amends, but no one has an eraser to erase her weaknesses. And you won't get better if you cheat on her now. I'm sorry, I don't believe there will be a strong connection between you. You put yourself in a nasty situation, you want her, but you don't trust her. There is no point in being together.
Both the wolf is full and the lamb is whole? Author there is no such film, everything has its price and you will pay yours for your stupidity And do not waste the time of decent girls with yourself, you are more ruined than the one you are dealing with
It's very simple. You don't love her. You know it yourself. But it's not just about infidelity, don't be fooled. It is just the excuse you are looking for in yourself. Go back mentally, to the point before he cheats on you. Imagine the same situation now, but next to you is not her, but another woman - a woman you do not know. Under no circumstances put a woman you know in this place. So - next to you is a woman "X". Think, but honestly in front of yourself - what guarantee can you give her that you will not like another, you have no children, no commitments. Is it possible? Yes. Then why not happen to her. Is she an iron lady and promised you forever? If he falls in love seriously, it's harder, better separation, but because of one sex for one night. I assure you, if he loved her that night, it wouldn't mean anything. Good luck further! Be honest and don't waste the girl's time.
I don't know at all how you can look at her after something like that, if I'm in your place I'm getting away from her directly. Not only did she cheat on you, not only did you forgive her, and now they fuck her without any problems. Clean work. Don't think she's been thinking about it all night. No, once she did, she was fully aware that there could be a separation, which meant she didn't care. Absolutely whore stories that I hate the most. Get rid of her, don't trample on your dignity like that. You've already trampled on it, but stop digging. Not all women were like that, not all cheated and I don't know what. Women will tell you that they are essentially exactly the same. There is no love brother, I see every day what it is about. There is no love, there is sex, interests, then children, etc. Love is a chimera nowadays. As soon as someone cooler appears and something happens to the women.
And it happened to me, we were not for 5 months, but almost 20 years. And I was not 26, but rather 20 more and it was not for one night, but rather a year. And we have children, more often than not one or two. When I found out, I drove her away at the moment, I didn't sleep for several nights. I realized that after years of "rehearsals" we would get back together, only she would have lined up at least half the neighborhood to prove how "walking" a forty-year-old "pussy" is. Analyzing my wife's behavior in recent years has many moments of immorality. behavior. He realized that there were chances, she fell in love and rewarded him with sex as a reward. And what happens in one night, provided that she is in love with you ??? I am a supporter that there is no excuse for infidelity (one year), but if we accept that I am also guilty. Yes, I am guilty of giving unsecured trust. They say (like you) without trust there is no connection. Trust a woman never (the time will surely come to make you a fool) !!! Check and then trust. I understand this quite late, you are lucky that you understand it much younger. Doesn't she already explain to you that you are entirely to blame for the infidelity? It's like that with me (it's true I trusted her) and she's very sorry (that I caught her), but she's very, very sorry (that she can't walk like a "lost" without giving explanations). My suggestion is to wait without forcing things, you may be really sorry. Although most women think that there is a queue for them to watch, and not just for sex (in your cravings for the latter are probably more). I consider it a big mistake that you sent it by car to a "friend" and already a badjanak (you explained it very well later, well done). See how you remembered what happened when she went to the apartment. Knowing in the future that if a woman gets into another man's car, it is very likely that there will be a sequel in an apartment (or car). You don't trust her and if you stay with her this may be the only infidelity. But that is, only if there is control - self-awareness does not happen. And someone else, to lie to you as he wants and to have countless Badzhans.