I often write here and share my failures with men. I can't stay with the same man for more than a year. And I am a woman who wants only one for herself. My friends always set me up against men, so I analyzed my own behavior and found that I had too many demands outside of the relationship that probably scare men. And I'm no longer the 20-year-old with young boyfriends, and the men I communicate with are mature and incorrigible characters. So these requirements, with which I try to model their behavior, are certainly the reason that pushes men away from me. I have a wonderful man next to me who loves me very much. He did everything to be with me and to fulfill my request that he move to me, not me to him. But I started to tease him this and that, to constantly correct him. I put it in a business venture, from which he lost a lot of money, but fortunately it did not affect his love for me in the least. On the contrary, he declares that he is ready to lose more, as long as I ask. We were together for 6 months and because I was afraid it would happen like the others for security, I asked him to marry me. However, he is against marriage and has already said "no" here. I kept insisting, and in the end I gave him an ultimatum - either marriage or break up. He chose the latter and so I was left alone. This time really alone. Before, a new man always appeared quickly, who managed to win my heart (I am in love), but this time I collapsed mentally. My ex-boyfriend, the penultimate one, started writing to me, pretending to support me. And I can't stand him, he's a terrible drug addict, whom I tried ingloriously to get out of drugs. But I gave up. I let him make fun of me. He came from abroad specifically to humiliate me. Make me believe him, get me pregnant and leave. Well, I still didn't think I was pregnant when the man I love came back to me with a ring and made me happy like I never thought he would. He deliberately broke up with me to hear the proposal as he thought was right - not extorted, not begged by the woman, but eagerly desired by the man who would kneel down to win everything to win the heart of his beloved wife. I was speechless by this man. And so far I can't believe he did this thing to me! Indeed, I would have become more obsessed if we had been married by force, and I would probably always have imagined that his feelings were not real, I would have felt unreasonable jealousy, and probably even imagined that he had lovers, just to doubt his insincerity. . Then we found out I was pregnant. We were in seventh heaven with joy, but now the term is clear. But only to me. I know the child is not his, but I'm afraid to admit it. I gathered courage and shared with my mother. She reacts as if nothing has happened - I just don't have to let her in the check-ups and the baby is born "slightly premature." I'm not like that - unscrupulous - after all, I want pure love, not shameful secrets. The child will not look like my future husband, how will I explain this? I don't want to be ashamed, to lie and hide all my life, I will feel even more pain every time I see "father and child" together. I think abortion is murder, I have always been against it and I did not want to accept the arguments in favor of abortion. But now I have a burning desire to kill this little man in me. But that means lying again and then being a victim of miscarriage for the rest of my life. I will confess to my fiancé what I have done, and then whatever will happen. If he abandons me, I will look after the child alone, because I am 100% sure that the idiot who got me pregnant will not care a gram and will have to sue him in order to have at least a document on the child's father. Any comments, sentences and advice are helpful because my mother's indifference is not realistic for me.
Answers 21
There is a saying that describes your case very well - "Nice apples and pigs eat them". A chamber of demands on decent men, finally parting and jumping into bed with the biggest garbage, getting pregnant, etc. Otherwise, I congratulate you if you tell your future husband that the child is not his, he has the right to know and decide alone. From there, whatever came as you say ....
And a marmot wraps the chocolate with tinfoil;)
A child should be the fruit of love, not a mistake. I can't imagine watching your husband cuddle this child, wake him up when he's in the hospital, etc. I would hate myself, honestly. My husband did not sleep last night. Our boy is ill for the first time, we read on the Internet that if he rises above 40 degrees, he has to go to the emergency department and my husband made coffee to stay awake and measure the child's temperature in an hour. And this is only the first cold, and for the first time I see him so scared, devoted, so hurt by someone's pain. In my opinion, your husband is a decent man and deserves to experience fatherhood, to embrace his flesh, for a man to look at him with his eyes, I don't know how you would deprive him of this in order to give birth to a drug addict.
of this "Make me believe him, get me pregnant and leave" - I just laughed :-) So you're not to blame - just the drug addict, whom you can not stand, has crept to get pregnant, almost by force and then he happily came back :-) Babe, all decisions are purely yours, the consequences - too. What you will do is also your choice, I will not advise you, because your life is yours. But as long as you think that things are just happening to you, almost without your participation, it will not be pleasant in the future.
I also can't live in a lie, so I stay away from women ... What can I say. I sympathize, to some extent, with people who make compromises and tolerate, and hope that the other will appreciate it and treat them correctly. Unfortunately, this is not the case in life. Apparently you showed him, more than once, what kind of woman he was dealing with. If he hadn't come back, he would have missed at least this "surprise." But to keep lying to him is just to keep the agony for both of you. This man is not for you, at least have the courage to realize it and leave it alone ...
Girl, it's not a patch, rip it apart, it's a child. You will not be able to live with such a secret unless you are an absolute monster. There are no hidden secrets under the open sky, remember - the day will come, everything will shine. Until then, you will live in fear ... in terrible fear. You will die a little every day in your fear of not revealing your secret. But she will come out someday, be sure. And the person next to you does not deserve such a hoax. See if you tell him and he agrees to this or that. But no, no, don't hide
My advice is do not lie it - the lie sooner or later comes to light. And you will look after your child alone! When you can't appreciate the person next to you, but do nonsense, like a 16-year-old, you will look after your child alone! M. 32g.
"I don't want, I think, I this, I that" just that I remembered. With these requirements you get nowhere I mean both men and women. You are confused to nowhere. For six months, giving an ultimatum to a man to marry seems a bit extreme to me. Then you immediately found another one, you couldn't stand it, but you managed to get pregnant. You don't say how old you are and how many men you've been with, your story is so confused and it's not clear who you were with, when you were, who you were when you were sad, I felt dizzy. People of this type, both husbands and wives, change "X" to bree boyfriends in search of the perfect mate, looking to settle down, to have children, to create the perfect family. When they achieve this, their morals and values skyrocket, they begin to judge and find flaws in everyone, they forget what they did in their past. They parade,
He made a mistake by not agreeing to marry you and then, realizing that he could not do without you, he came up with a marriage proposal, like a knight on a white horse, but these are words, and one should always to look at and interpret deeds, not words. The initial mistake was his - he did not want to leave his freedom and get married. Unfortunately, his indecision has led to too many unfavorable circumstances for which you are also to blame - you are also indecisive when you succumb to mollusks like your previous friend. The worst thing about a relationship is that you are to blame, it is like a black shadow and can affect your whole family life. It is best to tell your future husband what happened, do a DNA test (on your child and your husband), and if the child is from the addict, remove it. You won't start over, but at least you'll be 1:
The idiot who got you pregnant isn't really an idiot. Where was he? Why not keep it? Take her seriously, what marriages what a miracle. She has an abortion when she thinks of killing the child. And then you won't want it, and you'll blame him for not being able to keep your legs closed. Tell your stupid man the truth and bear the consequences. What kind of man would present another's child as his own to his husband. I haven't met a more irresponsible person than you recently. Horror.
Children are one of the great joys, don't take this away, everything will be fine !!
Well, if you can't, don't. Tell the truth. You're scared, huh? Well, it's your fault for the whole situation. The man must know, and then he will decide - whether he can accept or not. You think only of yourself, but what is his fault? !! Why would you decide on his life? Will you use it to have a (fake) family, will you live your whole life in a lie? You have to understand that one must bear the consequences of one's actions.
Tell him! Both he and you have a right to it. And the child does not deserve a lie! F31
If your fiancé stays with you, let the child be guided by him, but think about how you will one day tell him the biological truth. And if the man leaves, he does not judge the other, if he does not recognize the child voluntarily. Believe me - in this case it is in your best interest not to have a father. But still tell him. He has a right to know. F31
From the author: the commenters pointed out two main opinions - to admit what I did and to give birth to the child. I had already decided on both steps, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't wrong. The tragicomic thing is that I thought I knew everything and I just had to reveal everything, and the truth is that I know even too little. I confessed to my fiancé, but he greeted the "news" with a smile, because he was fully aware that the child was not his and was waiting for that moment. He is completely sterile, and every time it was about children, he got away with it and served a little, and when we broke up, it was precisely because we couldn't have children. What was he thinking? That I will wait forever? Good thing the truth came out quickly. And what was his plan when he offered it to me (when I didn't know I was pregnant yet) - now I'm disappointed. It turned out that I also have problems that I did not suspect and I am actually happy that I am expecting a child at all. The father, as I expected, doesn't want him, doesn't even want to admit it. And here comes the biggest paradox: my fiancé, after realizing who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really will not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of this fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. which I did not suspect and in fact I am happy to be expecting a child at all. The father, as I expected, doesn't want him, doesn't even want to admit it. And here comes the biggest paradox: my fiancé, after realizing who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really will not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of this fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. which I did not suspect and in fact I am happy to be expecting a child at all. The father, as I expected, doesn't want him, doesn't even want to admit it. And here comes the biggest paradox: my fiancé, after realizing who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really will not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of this fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. that I am expecting a child at all. The father, as I expected, doesn't want him, doesn't even want to admit it. And here comes the biggest paradox: my fiancé, after realizing who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really will not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of this fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. that I am expecting a child at all. The father, as I expected, doesn't want him, doesn't even want to admit it. And here comes the biggest paradox: my fiancé, after finding out who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really will not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of this fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. my fiancé, after finding out who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really would not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of that fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. my fiancé, after realizing who the father was, began to hesitate, because the child really would not look like him at all, and he said that he might be ashamed of that fact. There is no way to hide that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family. that I am pregnant and there is no way to justify it as an adoption (to "give up" my own child - absurd). So he started pulling, we postponed the wedding plans and now I'm just mad. This time I haven't decided anything in advance and if the men are so dumb I will just look after my child alone. This seems to have become completely normal, given the indecision of men to take responsibility for caring for a family.
And why didn't he tell you that he was sterile and what this circus with the separation was like. Men cannot accept a child who is not theirs. There are very few exceptions. Do not rely on him, in time you will meet a suitable man
From the author: Please help! I urgently need opinions and I will ask those who have not read the history of problems so far to get involved as well. My fiancé lost his temper, he even liked the idea of being scared and admitting to the world about his health problem. The father of the father, i.e. the child's grandfather is black and will probably have dark skin, curly hair, etc. That way people will know that my husband will not be the father. We will say that the child is from a controlled donor (again a lie) and he is calm about his authority. But there is a bigger problem. The father probably spoke of some feelings and human responsibilities, because he offered us to get married and take care of the child together, he will move to Bulgaria, where he has already received a job offer. The problem is that I know him very well and he takes drugs regularly, which quite interfere with his normal life, he is a womanizer and will surely cheat on me, besides he will be jealous of other men. The pros are that I have always felt something for him and we are separated by his will, I want more children, sex with him is better. My current fiancé has hurt me with his systematic lies, which I have already described, and I am sure that he will be much better at lying in the future. It's just not the same with him anymore. I urgently need opinions. Obviously I have a choice, though not a very wide one. I don't want to just lose all the men, after all, I have feelings too, and the child will need a father. that it will be much better to lie in the future. It's just not the same with him anymore. I urgently need opinions. Obviously I have a choice, though not a very wide one. I don't want to just lose all the men, after all, I have feelings too, and the child will need a father. that it will be much better to lie in the future. It's just not the same with him anymore. I urgently need opinions. Obviously I have a choice, though not a very wide one. I don't want to just lose all the men, after all, I have feelings too, and the child will need a father.
Are you writing a script for a soap opera? What are these circuses from your fiancé? The mulatto addict will make you more mulattoes, but be sure to watch them yourself in the end. Well, while you're making them, you'll be fine, but it will pass ... Otherwise, your fiancé doesn't seem very regular to me, so I don't know. At least try to decide which part of your body you will make decisions with - the brain or the genitals. Because when I look at where you've taken her, you don't seem to have thought much with your brain so far. When you ask for advice given the available options, get rid of your gifted black friend and stay with your smart fiancé, he will still look after your child and you will have some security, as far as possible given his performances so far.
Someone is playing tricks on us here. I'm a woman, but I haven't read a dumber story. Drug addict - a father who does not want his child. Then he thinks and even proposes marriage. Sterile candidate - a fiancé who is loved madly, then hated for his lies. One time he wants the child, knowing that he is not a father, another time he does not want him because the biological father was a drug addict. And you see, the pregnant woman can't decide who to trust, she asks us. Well, let's go to a fortune teller, maybe there he will get the right answer, eventually ....
you deserve your destiny and somehow I don't feel sorry for you. and you certainly don't deserve the man you're trying to keep. and because you keep repeating, I quote - the idiot who got me pregnant ... he didn't do it by force, you realize, but you also participated. it is impressive how you try to change the men next to you, that sounds kind of psychopathic, but when it comes to taking responsibility for your own actions, someone else is to blame. my advice is to start fresh with full openness to yourself and to the man next to you, because this mess you mixed up will shine sooner or later and you will pay not only you, but also the man and your child. just because you are completely selfish does not mean that people around you have to pay that price. N.
From the author: It really looks like this - a soap opera. I don't have many friends to share with in my daily life. My high school friends left the country, I just graduated from such a school - 80% of the graduates live abroad. They look after their work, and those who have - the family. We exchange a sentence on social networks, but the distance destroys the connections. In my student years I was not close to my colleagues, because most of them were peasants who followed, just to be able to live in Sofia and in particular to live the life of Student City. I have two girlfriends who are excited about my choice, but I need people's opinion. But I'm disappointed - apart from two or three racist comments, I got nothing. This is exactly what I wanted to keep as a fact, but I missed the case - the child's father is a foreign mulatto. Is this a crime? Is that all that matters? In fact, I have already accepted his proposal and we will get married. At first he thought I was making it up and I was just nagging, because after we broke up, I often made harsh comments to him. He wrote to my ex-fiancé and warned him about my behavior, but he understood that what had happened was true. He is just old enough to take responsibility. He has a 14-year-old daughter from his first marriage, but due to systematic infidelity he is divorcing and is still a big womanizer. I say he was very young, he must have changed already ... That's why we broke up - I caught him twice in infidelity, but in fact he left me because I tried to forgive him and insisted on making a decision about his life. I hope, in fact, I believe that the child we are expecting will change both of us and we will overcome many weaknesses in the name of the family. №22, I would take the risk of raising my children alone because I cannot accept the life of a prisoner. This man you call "smart" only offers different formulations of lies, and this is a prison for me.