Hello. My story is quite complicated and at the same time easy to solve. I live with my parents and I am 22 years old. They have a family business and the whole family works there. The work I do is quite hard for a girl. My hands are all in pimples .. In general, my father is very powerful and I do his job .. and he stays in the shade all day and drinks his beer. He is 47 .. I have a brother and he works there. The work is in the summer and I don't have days off or specific working hours, but I don't come home earlier from 9 pm to 10 pm. This year I met a boy very good and serious. He insisted that I introduce him to my parents. It took me a long time to muster the courage to do so because I had never met any of my friends before. My father took it well for a start and everything was fine. Then my friend wanted us to go to sea for 1 day. I had to tell my father or make up some lies. I decided to tell him the truth. He accepted it quite angrily. She wanted to talk to him face to face. I invited him home. They were talking ... and he decided to let me go. I feel like I'm a 22-year-old prisoner after all. We had a good time. After I met them, they knew that I was with him every night and he sent me to us even though it was late - 2 o'clock. My friend lives in a dormitory ... and both he and I want to stay the night with him. But if I don't go home, my parents and my brother will go crazy. We are already behind for 4 months, I have not stayed a night in them. At home they always reprimand me when I came home I had to study for the exam, he allowed himself to come home very late. And a few days ago (4-5) my father was angry and told me to go home at 12 without 5. My friend picked me up at 11 and 30. The next day I did not go out. And the next day I went out at 10 pm ... and we went out of town with him. He was worried about picking me up and had told me that he could leave me his key for them and then take a taxi home. But I went with him because we wouldn't be late. It was 12 and 30 and we went to us..my father started calling me..apparently I had no scope and I had 9 not accepted by him. A friend sent me to the floor and told me if I wanted to talk to him because I was late. I told him not to worry, I'll be fine. When I entered it was 1 and 10. I saw my father in the kitchen my mother was sleeping. I asked him what had happened and he quickly approached me and hit me behind the neck, I had the feeling that I was going to urinate ... and he told me "when did I tell you to go home ... I don't know if I should go to my friend (I'm always welcome with him) because my parents won't leave things like that ... I'm sure there will be big quarrels. I can also go to my best friend..she knows about the danger of them and advises me to take my life in my hands and get away from them..I am very confused ... I don't know what to do..These restrictions they kill me .. I have to ask permission for everything..please give me advice..let me get out of us ... or should I be patient while my friend gets bored and it will happen so we will part because of them in the end . I love him very much, but that doesn't stop me from judging my parents soberly ... and I'm not exaggerating in anything. she knows about the danger of them and advises me to take my life in my hands and get away from them..I am very confused ... I don't know what to do..These restrictions kill me .. I have to ask permission for everything .. please give me some advice ... should I leave us ... or should I be patient while my friend gets bored and it will happen so that we will part because of them in the end. I love him very much, but that doesn't stop me from judging my parents soberly ... and I'm not exaggerating in anything. she knows about the danger of them and advises me to take my life in my hands and get away from them..I am very confused ... I don't know what to do..These restrictions kill me .. I have to ask permission for everything .. please give me some advice ... should I leave us ... or should I be patient while my friend gets bored and it will happen so that we will part because of them in the end. I love him very much, but that doesn't stop me from judging my parents soberly ... and I'm not exaggerating in anything.
Answers 23
Darling, I think your parents have not yet been able to realize the differences between the generations with this "until you signed to get married" is proven. It doesn't matter, I assure you that mine are the same. Of course, you should be very grateful to them for everything, but you should not neglect your personal life and happiness for them. I think you are mature enough to hold your life in your hands and be able to defend your position in front of yours. Your story touched me a lot and my advice is to fight for what you want, because then it may be too late. Heads up darling! I wish you good luck and happiness with your friend. Take the road boldly.
Make an engagement. Then you can sleep wherever you want. You love each other. Your father obviously doesn't want you to live on a family basis. Wedding you need to pick up. Where will you run to?
Your story sounds very sad. Your father is the typical Bulgarian Oriental, but as a 22-year-old she explained to him that if something happened, it was not him but you who would bear the responsibility. If you kill, steal or whatever it is, he will be in prison and you, by that logic, should have fun, what is this duty without rights. Don't your mother and brother stand up for you? If not, then the family is really wrong and you better beat yourself with a whip, you'll see how they squat. If they start threatening you, we may be in Bulgaria, but there are laws and you are free to decide for yourself. I hope you get out, you will see how life will seem even better, success and write what happened.
Thank you for everyone's attention, you really help me a lot. My brother used to stand up for me, but it's not like that anymore, a lot has changed ... and we don't understand each other that much and we don't talk about personal things. My mother is more shrewd ... and crazy. Even more old-fashioned than my father. One night when I came home at 2 and something had caused me a scandal..she was going to go and deal with my friend..did he ask her when she should have taken me home. But it has become even more complicated now. I have two people I can count on. My best friend ... and my boyfriend. She protects me a lot and advises me to pack up and get away from us and go to her. Although he knows he will have quarrels with ours. The second man, my friend ... blamed himself for what happened and told me that he didn't want to quarrel with his parents because of him. I tried to explain to him, that I have a problem with my parents not with him. But he insists that I talk to them and explain to them that I am not small. But as far as I know, there will be no understanding on their part. I see that he suffers a lot ... just like me and I don't know how long he will last ... I have to act until it's too late. He told me that if they attacked me, he would take me in them and would not let me go. But I don't know if I should interfere with him and give him headaches ... or go to my girlfriend while the initial scandals are over. He flatly refuses to pack up and get away from us because I was going to fight with them. Tonight, when I came home, my father was looking at me again with that look ... ordering me to do another thing in us. I'm afraid of him ... and my mother and my brother too. I don't know what to do..in initially I think to try a dialogue .. but I don't know how he will react. If it hits me, I'll pack up again.
When your father, mother or both (judge) do not expect to call them and without speaking aggressively, but not whining, calmly, calmly and gently tell them so and so with this and that I do not agree and say that you want to reach an agreement. This will predispose them to sensible dialogue, not instinctive reactions, threats, prohibitions, etc. I was left with the impression that if you talk to the two at the same time, it will be best. Also in a direct conversation without aggression, feel free to let your friend ask your father what his requirements are. Good luck.
Hello darling, I will not be unfounded - I want to give you just 1 little piece of advice from personal experience. My father was the same tyrant, and I married at the age of 19 to escape him. But to my great regret, I did not happen to a man. If you have judged your boyfriend correctly and you think that he is the man you would be happy with all your life - get married / you are not so young after all /, but DON'T DO IT JUST TO ESCAPE FROM YOUR PARENTS, so that one day you will not regret it more. I wish you a lot of love and success and luck. Take the right decision.
You must be Turkish or Pomak.
Ah, this generation! Don't they see that you are happy that the boy is right? They are just worried about you, but their concern is more harassment, both mentally and physically. At 22, you work, as you put it, as a slave. Get a grip! Show them that you are great and do not give yourself personal freedom!
I'm not Bulgarian. But that's what my family is like. My brother and he have become just as aggressive as him. He was just threatening to hit me ... and some of them. Either my father or my brother will shout at me and attack me ... and my mother on the other side. The work is only the summer ... and the winter is experienced with the rest of the money. And they are still limited. I told them that I was thinking of starting work elsewhere in the winter, and that my father would almost let me go. I was the best with him. With the family. The only way out is to go to school ... and even if they don't accept me, I tell them they accepted me and get away from us. It may be a sin for me, but I know that they will not give me freedom and I will be dependent on them. This is a good option. And the bad thing is to pack up at the next opportunity (when he yells at me and touches me) and move in with my friend. I'm starting to poison my nerves a lot, I'm constantly scared of them. I want to live normally ... they are sick
Get away from there! They have no right to attack you and rude you like that! What else do you do with them? Leave! Go to another city! You are not a slave! You are a normal person! Stop kissing their legs and licking their asses!
From experience I will advise you from such parents far from your friend, but in another city, in another area start work and if you love each other very much and he will follow you, give yourself a year of cohabitation without marriage and then decide whether there will be a signature or there will not be. Even if you go to him, if you are in the same town, they will still bother you - go further. My sister is in a hurry and almost because of such relationships, and I dare say worse fast and still 13 years older than her neprokopsanik. Now he lives a dog's life, I became a student and in the 3rd year I met a boy from another area / 300km-distance / we got married and we are still together, and my parents finally divorced and now they are alone, there is no one next to them. I'm not sorry for my choice, but sometimes I think about my sister could have been saved in another way :(
I experienced the same thing as if I were reading my story, with the fact that I am 24 years old, almost 25. Try it well first! Invite your friend to your house and sit down and find out who is what, what are your intentions for life, so that your father can be sure that you are in safe hands. I no longer have a problem after such a meeting. Now that I say I'm with T., then I'm certainly. When I say I'm with friends, wow, call T. to pick you up or send your brother. Second thing I had made up for, if this city, another job, disappeared. You also need career development, family business is a family business. You need to have an education and a good job in the city and independence. Don't be dependent on them. Something else! Very important, are you sure this boy is right? I know, in the beginning everyone is good and kind. Definitely from your story, I realized that he is different, he is responsible. But think about life ahead. would you share it with him! And one more thing, I guess you are from southern Bulgaria, you even thought that your family is of Turkish origin, right? And if so, tradition dictates that you be honest before marriage, yours are worried and that's why you don't sleep with him! Well, what else can I tell you, I hope things get scorched, I'm fine now, but the boy's parents started having a lot of problems .... a long story! Success! long history! Success! long history! Success!
Your parents love you, but in their own way, that's where the problem comes from. Apparently they are people with rigid understandings and obviously they will not change. First, talk to them and tell them that you are temporarily going to live with your friend, but tell him as a FACT and not as a REQUEST. And later, when you are with him, if they continue to bother you, go to another city ...
I am Bulgarian and I am from Southern Bulgaria. It's hard for me to put things together and get away. I was so depressed that I didn't seem to have the courage. And my friend got tired of this tension ... he advised me to talk to them but I know that nothing will happen with a conversation. He wants me to stay with him on Saturday or Sunday ... to spend more time together to start some other work. But I still have to comply with them. I'm like a horse with bathing suits ... they don't let me work elsewhere. I plan to use the teaching as a pretext to get out of us in September. I can't think of anything else
I think this is the best thing for learning. I thought my parents were tyrants but yours with an apology are terrible ... you better go far..no conversations or anything will change their attitude in my opinion ... just get away from them
Dear monic, I read your letter and all the comments. Before I give my advice, I want to ask you, what is your friend's opinion about a possible marriage? Have you ever talked about what he wants you for, a companion, a mistress, or does he think you like family (as far as I understand, he only talks to your parents about "walking", going out together)? So that he can love you very much and you can love him too, but he does not intend to marry you, but only to fill his time until he finds a suitable wife for a wife. You need to clarify this first. Tame the ball, do not rush to collect your luggage before you have thought things through, because you will regret it in time. I don't like living with your girlfriend, your boyfriend will come there and use you again as long as he wants. And I think it's best to talk, quietly and meekly with your parents, but smart so that they understand that you are no longer young (you are an adult and you are responsible for your actions). So with a little help from them (in this case, money and understanding), convince them to try to live without them on their own, to believe that you will succeed. Ask for support, and borrow the money, and in time you repay them. Find accommodation, enroll part-time, study and work. It will be difficult for you, maybe only in the beginning until you get used to it, but this way you will prove yourself, as a person, there will be progress in your development. That's how you'll find out how long your relationship with this boy will last. That way you will know how much he cares about you. Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!! that you are no longer young (you are an adult and you are responsible for your actions). So with a little help from them (in this case, money and understanding), convince them to try to live without them on their own, to believe that you will succeed. Ask for support, and borrow money, and in time you repay them. Find accommodation, enroll part-time, study and work. It will be difficult for you, maybe only in the beginning until you get used to it, but this way you will prove yourself, as a person, there will be progress in your development. That's how you'll find out how long your relationship with this boy will last. That way you will know how much he cares about you. Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!! that you are no longer young (you are an adult and you are responsible for your actions). So with a little help from them (in this case, money and understanding), convince them to try to live without them on their own, to believe that you will succeed. Ask for support, and borrow the money, and in time you repay them. Find accommodation, enroll part-time, study and work. It will be difficult for you, maybe only in the beginning until you get used to it, but this way you will prove yourself, as a person, there will be progress in your development. That's how you'll find out how long your relationship with this boy will last. That way you will know how much he cares about you. Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!! that you will manage. Ask for support, and borrow money, and in time you repay them. Find accommodation, enroll part-time, study and work. It will be difficult for you, maybe only in the beginning until you get used to it, but this way you will prove yourself, as a person, there will be progress in your development. That's how you'll find out how long your relationship with this boy will last. That way you will know how much he cares about you. Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!! that you will manage. Ask for support, and borrow money, and in time you repay them. Find accommodation, enroll part-time, study and work. It will be difficult for you, maybe only in the beginning until you get used to it, but this way you will prove yourself, as a person, there will be progress in your development. That's how you'll find out how long your relationship with this boy will last. That way you will know how much he cares about you. Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!! Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!! Life is in front of you, be persistent, follow your goals and you will succeed !!! I wish you success and luck and a lot of happiness and love !!!
I also have problems with my parents and I plan to move out. Do the same . It's best for you. They will not look at it well, but your happiness will be in 1st place at least once. Don't think about it. It's just maybe time to start your adult life and family maybe! Good luck
Oh dear she and I are more or less in your position and I am very worried, But I am 17 and you are 22 and so you leave them ... I can't wait to turn 18 ... Think really and you are live with your friend
Poor thing! If you manage to find another job it will be great and move out on time!
Don't be angry with your father - he loves him for you. I understand that you are great - no one will be happy to control him. It's just that your father lives with the thought that danger lurks at every turn. If you think that your friend is a person you can count on - get married. % -)
Number 20, the story is from 5 years ago? Author, what happened, did you manage to take your life in your hands, or are you still with mom and dad?
I read all the comments ... Dear girl, I will ask you questions, which is good to sit down and ask yourself. Have you ever done anything other than the job you mention with your parents? I guess because of the crisis, unemployment, and also because of the "ready-made job", there is a subconscious fear of competition, because you have probably never struggled with it when looking for a job. Your strengths - you are young. You wrote that you work as a slave, which means that you are also physically resilient. Bet on this and do not be afraid of the danger that you will find it difficult to find a job. I guess / I have no way of knowing, but I very much doubt that it is so / you don't even get paid when you work for the family. This also makes you financially vulnerable in case you decide to leave your home. Try to somehow save money for at least a month while looking for another job. The other question I want to ask is, how confident are you in your friend? You say he loves you, that he is kind and considerate, but you probably doubt if he will continue to be so if he has to take on the responsibility of living with you. Do not be tormented by such doubts. Sit down and ask him directly, "Are you afraid to live with me?" From your story, I understand that he wants to maintain a good relationship with his parents. It is very likely that he is also afraid of responsibility. that he doesn't love you, but he may not be ready to live with you on a family basis, in which case he has no right to oppress you, you are between a rock and a hard place, on the one hand, the family another your friend who wants you to have the freedom to stay in his house to have fun, but also to leave when the time comes for responsibilities. Don't make hasty decisions to hang on his shoulders, because he may not be ready. Talk to your parents. As someone had said in the comments above, compliance with certain rules should be encouraged. You work, study, come home on time - reward you spend the weekend away from home. Build trust between your friend and your parents. He suggested that you go somewhere as a family, but that he come with you. compliance with certain rules should be encouraged. You work, study, come home on time - reward you spend the weekend away from home. Build trust between your friend and your parents. He suggested that you go somewhere as a family, but that he come with you. compliance with certain rules should be encouraged. You work, study, come home on time - reward you spend the weekend away from home. Build trust between your friend and your parents. He suggested that you go somewhere as a family, but that he come with you.
Five years!? !! Number 22, they probably have already separated :) Well, is he already 27 somewhere and still living with his parents, but still, interesting - do you follow the topic more Author?