Hello! I've been wondering for a long time whether to write about my problem (if I can call it that at all) but I think I need, if not to say it out loud, then at least to write it. For about a year now, I began to realize that I was hurting myself. I am constantly thinking about my life, my family, in general, the people around me. I think about what I say, how I say it, and then why I said it. I imagine how people accepted it, whether I didn't hurt them, insult them, etc. (to put it bluntly, I'm not influenced by people's opinion, if I don't consider it true). So, now we get to the heart of the problem - I can not make a real self-assessment. I never admit what I actually did (always consciously or not belittling it, saying to myself it wasn't enough, and little by little I finalize with how pathetic I am, as you'll find out from both my spelling and punctuation). Recently reading comments here on similar topics, my line of thinking has changed a bit. I started asking myself questions - when did I first start to deepen things so much? Was there a reason or incident that affected me, so much? I started to think it was because of the atmosphere at home (I have a wonderful family, for which I am infinitely grateful).
We are a family of four, a mother, a father and a little older brother. I got everything I needed, but I think that somewhere along the way of my growth, I lost my self-confidence and self-confidence. Looking at and reading literature on this topic, I think I know what is due. My father is a good parent, but I've always lacked warmth on his part, (I know he loves me more than himself, but he almost never shows it) I don't remember him telling me he loves me, and I've only received kisses a few times. Life with my older brother was a daily struggle, a struggle not to be humiliated or exploited (brings back some happy memories) but as expected, the younger one is kicked in pride. My relationship with him is also cool, although I can always count on him. Before I always ran after him (literally, he didn't want me at all: D, which I think hurt me, now I don't remember the moment, but I remember the feeling and every time I feel insignificant when we're together :(). I know it's ridiculous I also know that what I wrote seems ridiculous and insignificant to you, but when you think about something for too long, looking for a problem in it, believe me, you will find more than one. to say everything I wanted, and what exactly I was feeling, I just had so many things going on, that when I try to get them out of me, everything turns into a big mess, and now I don't write and rewrite half the story - in short, I was betrayed twice by a very close friend, a person I relied on. Thanks and sorry if I lost your time! "If you look into the abyss for too long, she will look at you." -Friedrich Nietzsche.
Answers 3
"If you look into the abyss for too long, she will look at you." -Friedrich Nietzsche. '' - I was thinking of writing it for you, but in the end I saw that you wrote it yourself :)
Hello! You don't write how old you are, but know that probably everyone has a period in their life in which they feel the way you do now. DO NOT take things too seriously. We are surrounded by different problems every day, but if we start paying too much attention to each of them, we will eventually turn around. I also missed my father's attention. In most cases, he was away from home all day. Quite often I was left alone. I have no brother or sister. My mother was at home more often, at least that kept me going. Sometimes I saw my father playing with the children of our acquaintances, how happy he was with them. Such attention from him was rare for me. And yet I know that he loves me and I love him. But I grew up and it's too late for such attention. After all, the past should not ruin your future. Think about what you want to achieve in the future, how do you want to change your life? Things will slowly fall into place, do not bother! :) Good luck!
Hello! Your problem is not insignificant or ridiculous, but real. to some extent I understand you, I have fallen into similar states, but not for long. It is good that you are aware of your problem and are looking for a way to solve it. I don't know you, of course, but from what I've read so far, I think the reason is probably your family, that they haven't shown you their love and approval often enough and convincingly. Maybe you are trying to please them, to "deserve" a more flattering attitude. Gradually, this attitude is transferred to other people with whom you communicate. Think about it. It may not be true at all, I don't know, but think about it. Otherwise, self-esteem, in quality? the result of self-knowledge is a terribly difficult thing. And people much older than you can't afford one. The ancient Greeks wrote on the facade of the temple of Apollo at Delphi only two things: "Moderation in everything" and "Know thyself." Apparently they thought that was the most important thing, and ... the most difficult thing. Do not despair, once you look for the cause, you will find it, and this is already part of the solution. What I would advise you is to find a way to talk to a real psychologist. It could help you a lot, guide you, save you from wandering. I wish you success! BM