Hi, I'm signing up here with my problem. I am 40 years old, an intelligent and beautiful woman, I work, look after my home and children. After many years of marriage and a supposedly good family, my husband cheated on me with a much younger woman. It turned out that they had a relationship for almost 2 years before I found out. It was a huge shock to me, not so much the presence of another woman, but the horrific lies and deception I had lived in for years. The feeling is overwhelming. It is difficult to describe his attitude towards me once I understood. Such impudence, nagging, mockery, and he didn't even want to leave the house. The glass overflowed after he brazenly told me that he had no intention of ending his relationship. Well, then he had to move out. We divorced, it was impossible to stay with him for another second. Shortly afterwards, the man found a new naive wife for a serious relationship, to enjoy and admire how cool and amazing he is, even though he continues his relationship with the young chick. He lives perfectly, and I am still experiencing the pain ...
For more than a year since we broke up, I still hurt from the lies, I feel sick seeing him somewhere ... It's very difficult for me, I don't want a new relationship with a man yet I'm not looking, and I just don't believe it will work, especially at this age. How to cope, what to do to reduce the pain of betrayal? Those of you who have experienced the same, how did you move forward, how did you arrange your life from the beginning?
I don't want or look for a new relationship with a man for now, and I just don't believe it will happen, especially at this age. How to cope, what to do to reduce the pain of betrayal? Those of you who have experienced the same, how did you move forward, how did you arrange your life from the beginning? I don't want or look for a new relationship with a man for now, and I just don't believe it will happen, especially at this age. How to cope, what to do to reduce the pain of betrayal? Those of you who have experienced the same, how did you move forward, how did you arrange your life from the beginning?
Answers 23
It will be experienced, it just takes time. An acquaintance said that everything is experienced, but it must be experienced. Your age is fine, you will hardly be left alone. There is a song: that life is said to be, meetings and divisions, but it is difficult to swallow all infidelities. I think it is true.
You have chosen to hurt. Because of the big ego.
How can you suffer for this garbage instead of rejoicing that you got rid of it. Apparently you didn't know your husband at all, what kind of person he is, which you should take into account for your mistake!
Hi, I was in your place and I decided to approach me in a good way. I decided that I would become the best version of myself. I suggest you find a hobby. For example, going to the gym or zumba - you meet other babes who train, dance to super cool music and keep fit (or lose weight) and at the same time you can make a new friendship. You may become even more interested in recipes, try new things. Think about the things you want and can do without waiting for or complying with another person: going somewhere (relaxing, climbing a mountain, going to a bar with friends), going to concerts, theaters with friends or children if you have, open a savings account in which to save money for something you want; to make repairs. You can experiment with your appearance - to put a second earring on your ear, to paint in another color. Pamper yourself, now is the time to pamper yourself after someone else hasn't done it for you. :)
Oh, the same thing happened to me. It took me about three years to overcome him, now we communicate normally, but I will never forgive him. I did not create a serious new relationship, there are simply no suitable men who want such a relationship with a woman with children. I accepted loneliness without drama. But I am calm and predictable. My advice: look after your children, give them all your love, work, get involved in all kinds of things. Look for friends, help in these moments. That's it. It won't be easy for you, but life goes on and you're kind of lucky - you got rid of garbage. And you're still quite young - you may be lucky to meet a real, decent man one day. I wish you from the bottom of my heart! Keep your head up! You fall, thump and move on, be a strong woman. F47
They cheated on me some time ago ... At least I'm always of the opinion that he loses the other person, the liar, the hypocrite. Such a person does not deserve me and I refuse to suffer for such. Ask yourself, why do you have to suffer? You didn't do anything wrong. Why do you have to waste your time? Why it matters to you - it's in the past, you will not return it. And most importantly - time passes, but how it will pass depends on you ... whether in crying, fear, self-destruction, happiness, fun - depends only on you. You are the master of yourself. To deal with infidelity, you must understand that the past is past and must remain there. You are a person who deserves happiness, but you must win it yourself and not allow a hypocrite to destroy you. And lastly, why would she spend a day in suffering because of someone who doesn't deserve it? С31М
Make a serious and conscious decision from now on to be happy! Say to yourself, "I will no longer be punished for being betrayed." Stop being interested in what your ex-husband is doing, even when a well-wisher decides to share what he has taught you, say "I don't care." Sign up for something you like on sports, on a course, on a trip and create new fresh contacts. And don't constantly share this story with everyone. Some say that by sharing them it is easier, sometimes it is so, but by retelling, we empathize with the pain again, deepen and loop. Just "play" it happy, as a role, gradually it will become an inner state.
Tighten her up, don't despair, you're not too old for a new relationship, once you describe yourself as a nice, attractive woman, there will always be someone who will appreciate it. You deserve to be happy and you will be, upside down, life is in front of you, and your ex will have time and will feel sorry for M33
Rejoice for him. There is nothing better than seeing your husband happy. Now you are angry that he is better than you. You don't have to be like that. Congratulate him on his success among women. Praise him for being able to spin them like that.
You can't reduce the pain of betrayal, if I knew how, I would teach you. But I don't know either. Many years have passed for me and it has not passed for me - it is very stupid that they say that time has healed. He failed to heal me. One thing I will tell you for sure - you have made the best possible decision, namely to divorce. Believe me, even though I didn't divorce. But I made that decision because he immediately ended his relationship with the other. I'm sure of that, more than sure. And I never heard anything about him again, and we live in a city where everyone knows their canines and nothing goes unnoticed. My advice - go out with girlfriends, go out with men, have sex for one night - I can't believe I'm writing such a thing, I haven't looked at another man since I was married, I loved him very, very much. And I got slapped. That is why I advise you to think only for yourself. I wish you peace.
Yes, he is very right №4, in practice it turned out that I did not know what he was capable of. I understand, he's in love with another woman and he's very attached to her, but this nasty attitude towards me ... literally another person, a stranger. A man with many faces, obviously. When you have believed and relied on him whenever you have considered him a support, it is very scary to understand how he betrayed you ... Awareness is hellishly painful.
It is difficult to experience the pain, insult and lie of divorce, regardless of the reason, but I succeeded. You can too! You should even be grateful. This man is not worth bothering about! Don't give up - there are much worse things in life that one has to go through - destiny, accept it and move on. Don't give up, believe in yourself! When you have the opportunity, go out, have fun, although it is really harder with children, but not impossible! For overnight sex I personally do not recommend it, as you advised number 11 is not for everyone, but if it is not a problem for you there is nothing wrong. Communicate with people, go out with a predominantly male company, it is not said that you should look for something specific. About age - what is it to us? At 40 we are not old. First of all - start loving yourself and believe that there are no impossible things! Success!
Everything comes back to this life! Know, God remembers women's and children's tears. It may be difficult for you now, but in time you will be much happier than this poor man! Head up and good luck!
14, what is this discrimination against men's tears. And from God, I didn't expect it from him.
And why do you suffer? Fuck your husband, find a new one, but I think the problem is elsewhere. As he leaves the relationship without any losses, you have lost your personality and your life, because whether you realize it or not, the care of your children lies on your shoulders. And don't you just envy him for having freedom and life, just like in his youth, unlike you? I would talk to him to make a commitment to the children, to take them and look after them, so that you too can enjoy your freedom!
My stepmother (my father's third wife) is currently going through the same thing because of him and they soon divorced and she suffered a lot ... Think a little about yourself, do things you like, go out more and if you have to imagine that you are again at 20. Have fun and live your life, I think it's never too late for love!
I don't think that such a soulless, psychopathic person could live perfectly by lying to one woman or another, like women who turn their fingers on stupid men, cheating on them and cheating on them. The pain is that we lived with a stranger who had the audacity to disguise himself in a role. Such people self-destruct. You don't even have to compare your life to his. Don't get sick of these comparisons. If you are an honest person, live with the children and deal with the things that are interesting to you, with the friends who love you and help you, expand their circle, but first check, and then trust. Everything will be alright. Get rid of this obsession, constantly thinking about this breakdown, by doing things that are your favorite. Be strong in this, do not give in, do not relax and do not let the flow of thoughts and feelings drag you! God help you!
I think you should be grateful that you broke up with a carrier of infections and diseases! He thinks in such a way that you have saved your health physically and emotionally, because such a covert and brazen liar never stops cheating and cheating. Obviously, this way of life, which you did not know because he hid it from you, is his. You have given a lot and you have received ingratitude. Such infantile personalities are not few. You just have to learn to recognize them and protect yourself from them. With reason. The pain will go away.
"14. Everything returns to this life! Know, God remembers women's and children's tears." Even when women's tears are to make a brazen lie seem a little true? Very bad for these women! I can only sympathize with the author.
A very dubious story in which you forgot to clarify some more things from your life, but do not forget to say that you are an intelligent and beautiful woman. You don't say how many children you have and how old they are, whether he pays child support or not, or what you do. You also don't say how he got away - you didn't share anything. As you describe your separation, it seems that the apartment was yours, or I'm wrong. Tell him if he came to live in your house when you got married. In almost all cases, the woman goes to live in the man's home. You keep these things to yourself, but you don't miss blaming words. The women who comment on your story accept everything you say about the absolute truth. I'm sure they don't even assume that the story is made up. Women's work.
Infidelity is not experienced. It always hurts at the thought of it, and it hurts a lot. I am a woman with 43 years of marriage. 10 years ago, my husband cheated on me with a woman 20 years younger than him. The author correctly says that when men are with younger women - they just lose their minds without assessing the consequences of this. My husband caught him in a mold at home with the woman who was looking after my sick mother. Well ... even then things ended, I forgave for the years we were together and everything we have achieved together. Well, he experienced this "trauma" so to speak in our family because we live in a small town and everything is known by everyone and our sons were big - and he was ashamed of them. Now we are together .He is the wife I married, but if I get the chance - I always remind him of infidelity, because he is intelligent with business and the lady in question is not finished and 4.you class - but as the people said "Men think first with the lower head - then they push the upper head into the ground. This is the masculine nature. If a man falls, a younger woman thinks that he has gone into space. you have to assess the situation very carefully. Do what you do but remember that you have families, children and women that you should respect and not grieve!
№21 he is not a bad man, but he lies a lot and hates women. Other feats besides this woman came to light. The worst part is that he treated me like a rag. It took me a while to realize how much this man hated me. It is very, very difficult to realize, because I have always considered it my support and support, and that ... was not the case at all. He's always been very nice, but believe me, that sucks, because that manner is part of the deception ...
Author n.23, you did not answer the questions I asked you in my comment n.21. Read my comment again and answer my questions, not just mutter nonsense. Why are you silent.