Hello, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I have an uncle, almost 50 years old, who I can't stand. I love him, he is my family, but his behavior is extremely repulsive. At first he is very infantile, behaves like a child and does not take anything seriously. Secondly, he does not tolerate any other people's opinion and when someone contradicts him and does not agree with him, he starts insulting, he even called me stupid because I did not agree with him. Thirdly, he is very rude and does not feel any empathy, he has sometimes ridiculed and mocked someone else's death. He is also very obsessive, he calls me 5-6 times a day and constantly wants to know what I'm doing. I have told him many times that his behavior makes me nervous and I want him not to call me so often and to behave more seriously, but he does not change and distorts things so that I feel guilty that I do not care about him and I don't want to hear it. Please tell me how to talk to him and how to make him change, even though at 50, it may be too late. I also tried not to pick up the phone, but he called my parents to ask them why I didn't pick up and he didn't care what time it was, he called them even in the middle of the night.
Answers 7
Tell your father.
You touch very softly - you warned him, you talked, you begged him. If he doesn't understand, you ignore him and that's it. It's a big leek that he's a relative ... it doesn't oblige you to communicate with him at all. Block his number, refuse to communicate when he calls yours. People like him grow freely because others always try not to offend them or because he is from the "family", so you almost have to put up with all kinds of idiots. I see friends who can't stand their relatives, but communicate with them out of some pseudo-morality, and then complain about how disgusting and intolerant they are. Quite stupid and hypocritical.
Horror, the bad thing is that you are naive and do not understand the problem with your uncle. Does your father know well about his insistence on knowing where you are and what you do even in the middle of the night? Does he know that he is manipulating you into feeling guilty? If your father is sane and knows this ... m6 will cut off your uncle's air, believe me! Cut it nasty and deep! And in time ... sometimes it will bloom directly on your door and then there will be a real problem. This behavior at this age (including infantilism attempts to look younger, they do not even realize how funny and pathetic it makes them) is typical of pedophiles who did not touch out of fear when the child was small, but once an adult if they are already obsessed and the child is constantly in front of their eyes, they will look for any ways to get to him / her. Always in the beginning will try with a lot to too much attention, imputing guilt if "attention" is not appropriately assessed for them, invading personal space disguised as "concern for the well-being of the child, already an adult victim." If none of this works, he will become aggressive, but will look for a safe way for him to put his sick fantasies into practice. He may have raped you, but he will be in your home or his (he was a guest to see that he was worried or he invited you to talk about life, that he saw something disturbing in your behavior). He would probably have drunk at least some alcohol to make sure he had to "be very drunk and unaware of his actions, or at least think you were different." Under no circumstances NEVER allow yourself to be alone with him! If you want to try something and you'll see a reaction ... tell him next time if he calls at night, that you are with a boyfriend. As he disguises himself, he will most likely fall into deep "sadness and depression" for not sharing something so important. He will be obsessed with knowing everything about him and assessing the "competition" and the danger to him. Naturally, he will look for options to distort your words and because he is "more experienced in life" to warn you of all the dangers that he already smells, etc. Be careful!
You don't say details about what you didn't agree with him about calling you stupid, and other things. Without specific examples - he may or may not be right - there is no way to judge how justified the control he exercises over you.
I'm kind of suspicious, this uncle. Why do you communicate with him so often? Do you remember when you started communicating so often and talking about topics like older people? Are you a child, brothers, sisters, do you have? If so, how do you deal with them? Does he have a family of his own - a wife and children? If not - does he live alone? One option is to be in love with you in a special way, even sexual. The other option is to be a very lonely person who finds in you someone with whom he can share.
Block it. If your body is new, there may be such a function, if there is no google play, you download a blacklist or call blocker. I had an annoying friend and I blocked him, now he's calling, but he stops it and I don't deal with him
Abe, does your uncle have mental disorders that he behaves like that? His behavior is like that of a psychopath.