Now you will attack me for insulting my mother. I will tell you that I refrain from other harsher expressions just because she is a woman, not because she is my mother. The most disgusting selfish person I know. I don't go home because of her anymore. I am a student otherwise. Boy of 21, I emphasize. Everyone is to blame for it - me, my father, her parents, her brother, her sister. She doesn't get along with anyone who only talks about how the space interferes with the curved rocket. Here I will tell you what makes me nervous. I don't remember when she didn't work because she didn't want to. There is no health problem just after my birth she got the lazy fever, which has been going on for 21 years. She gets up early like a hen, she wakes us up because she's bored, even though she doesn't dare wake me up anymore. On a day off where I don't give lectures and don't work, with what right do you wake me up in the morning as I already have nothing to say to her? To bring me up in discipline and organization. The same woman who doesn't work, sleeps all afternoon, is too lazy to breathe, from where to where? And don't tell me she's a good housewife, she just cleans and maintains good hygiene. She cooks exactly 5 dishes that she loves and knows by heart, she buys the things that she likes to eat. My father and I cook much better and we cook on our own in many cases. Clean, because there is such a mania, but God forbid we get dirty, it starts to haunt us. I made gestures to her, she doesn't appreciate them. She never made anything for me as a birthday present or occasion. That's why I don't drink anything but sweets anymore. I will not satisfy her selfish ass, with an apology. My father works hard, supports her for unknown reasons, her whole family doesn't talk to her. Me too. Only he still pleases her. How can this woman not like it? And we only love beer from alcohol, she threw it several times and said she would not raise drunks. Hello, and when you smoke and smell like an ashtray, a lot more money goes into your cigarettes? Which one did you take? Otherwise, she is not a muffin, that is, she does not go out with friends (does she have any at all), she does not spend on her appearance, but she spends on other obsessions, such as Latin dances. Maybe she caught a lover there, who knows ... not that I care. My father wonders how he didn't kick her out. And she knows how to comment on everyone, as she is the most illegible. He just grumbles and criticizes. It's just that if she was a man, I would have ordered her and slapped her nicely. I go there because my father and I are close and I love him. But most of the time I'm already sitting in the dorm. You work for me, I study. At least not to look at her. How can I help my father? Am I right not to want a relationship with her?
Answers 26
There are all kinds of people, but I'll tell you one thing. If you have such a relationship with your mother, I'm sure you will not succeed in life. You ... are actually your mother. One part of you is your mother. And if you have such an attitude towards her, you will just hate a part of yourself for the rest of your life. You will never experience peace and harmony. It is very easy to see a person's bad traits. It is much harder to see the good ones. YOU, as her son, have the task of helping her throughout your life. To love her and be her friend, no matter how difficult. Just such a relationship will ruin you. You have to learn to love, forgive and give in, being smarter. It is very easy to hate, but only fools choose the easy way. Especially when it comes to your loved one.
How do you know there is no disease? Maybe she has something and you don't know ... Does anyone know, maybe that's why your father won't tease her ...
It will get worse over time.
You can't help your father because it's his choice. He obviously loves the woman, for some unknown reason. And no, there's nothing wrong with not caring about a relative, be it a mother, a father, or whatever. An attitude is won, not a gift. I will never understand people who tarnish their lives to satisfy some people who don't deserve to spit. You're doing well. Brother.
You can't help your father because it's his choice. He obviously loves the woman, for some unknown reason. And no, there's nothing wrong with not caring about a relative, be it a mother, a father, or whatever. An attitude is won, not a gift. I will never understand people who tarnish their lives to satisfy some people who don't deserve to spit. You're doing well. Brother.
Um, I understand what you don't like about your mother, but you don't understand what you want from her. Do you believe that from now on she will change and start working, or you want her to learn more recipes for the dishes you love, or you want her to let you get dirty in them as much as you want and for her to follow you, or at most you already want him to tighten up and make you a jerk until you turn 50, to work to give you his salary, what do you want. Realize, you claim that you are 21 years old, it's time for you to go to sleep less and less at home, to eat less and less at home, to take less and less money from them, and they decide to get better. Your life is yours, theirs, whatever they want, they will do if they do not want from you, and you from them, the problem is in you, not in your parents. However, you need to know one thing while you go to them and expect them to feed you and give you money,
You're an ungrateful l ... but no apology. She gave you life and raised you. At least that's why you should be grateful to her!
Yes, you are right. This is exactly what is done with such toxic parents. You move out and minimize contact with them or break it altogether. You set limits on how they can and cannot treat you. You assess the situation correctly. The mother's sons do not see this and listen to it and perform it idle and even though they do not like it. But you can't help your father. He chose her. He also chose to be with her, to be patient and to please her. Apparently he likes her so much and loves her. Save yourself and don't think about it. Be sure that if you tell him that you will no longer visit them because of her, he will wish you good health. You try to find a decent woman, not like her. Otherwise I shake your hand what a man you are.
Let your mother live as she wants. But think about what you do and why you live together. Find a way to get out. You will calm down, you will sleep. Understand several generations under one roof is not possible.
Boy, I don't work either and I know 5 pots crosswise, but my son loves me. Whether this will work is her choice. The reason is in you, not in her.
He will forgive me, but you are very lazy. At the age of 21 you do not have a job in your home, and if you are still squatting there and waiting for your mother to cook 5 meals for you - you will be silent and grateful. Whether it works or not is not your problem. And when I look at your statement, you are the same as her, only to all the negatives I add that you are a rude, ungrateful grumbler.
Oh, disgust. You are an ungrateful creature, insanely low level, I wonder how this woman raised you. What requirements you have was a boy to his mother ... So to love her you have to be a chef and bring money , right? Who are you that you insult and lie in the relationship of your mother and father? Tighten up a little and grow up. You will become the head of a family one day, but I don't think anyone will tolerate you with this attitude. At least be a little grateful that she gave birth to you, raised you and loved you.
I have a poisonous mother, to put it mildly, but yours has nothing to do with it. She ruined her body, nerves and youth in order for another complex to exist, and she has been a servant of your most disgusting father like you all her life. She has to be paid a lot! I wouldn't ruin myself for anything in the world and I wouldn't waste my life in diapers and be the personal servant of a snot. For a long time now, most women have stopped being attached to morons and do not become slaves. That's why you're so angry with us.
Hey such outpourings as the author as I read and I am convinced that I have very correctly decided not to have children. Why does anyone risk their life and health to bring such an ungrateful cure to the world, I ask? I'm watching my life with my husband and I don't plan to waste years wiping shitty asses, snot and vomit at all, to have slow-moving baby dialogues for years, to run to the sopolanka to doctors and the like and to deal with nonsense at all. .. Author, well, if you can't stand it - get out! Don't you remember that you are already big and slightly redundant in this family. This is your father's wife - he has chosen to live with her and wake up with her, you have no such commitment: get out of there, find a girlfriend to your liking and live as you like. While you are in another's house you will listen,
Not that I'm defending the author, but number 11 - why don't you read before you write? Do you lack the capacity to read or understand the meaning of what you have read?
"My father and I cook much better and we cook on our own in many cases. Clean, because there is such a mania, but God forbid we get dirty, it starts to haunt us." - What more do you want from your mother, if she is a cleaner , this is the most valuable quality of any woman. If you cook better, you will cook, she will clean, what have you lost? And if someone is dragged, will it get better?
I fully understand you, author, there are currently only 2 approved comments, but I'm sure that the others will be with similar content, simply because they did not have such a thing on their heads to see how stressful it is. For the same reason, I ended my relationship with both my parents, and they, like your mother, are drones, sleep late, my father doesn't even go to work, they haven't cooked for years, they don't have any friends and social life, just because they have a nasty character. I haven't lived with them for more than a year, and I'm even in another city and I try to support myself, if I have any difficulties, my friend helps me. F21
Stop insulting the author. Just because you've given birth to someone doesn't mean you can treat me the way you want them to, even if you want them to help you for life and put up with your disgust. The parents raised us, we will raise our children. Safe from simple, selfish pseudo-mothers. Author, you are doing the right thing. Toxic behavior should not be tolerated by anyone, including relatives. You can't help your father. He has chosen to be with this woman every day. He is her accomplice in letting her behave like that and not work.
Abe, you are a very stupid brother! Why don't you let your mother live her life - Above you have been told that you are an ungrateful being and you are right. You're ungrateful with an apology rubbish. Be thankful that she gave birth to you and raised you at 21, and yet, wait a minute, how much did the teachers put up with you at school? At 21, you don't work, you can't support yourself, I'm glad she didn't throw you out on the street because tomorrow you could become a tramp with this behavior. I apologize a lot for the rude tone, however - I couldn't help myself.
Numbers 7 11 and 12 he author is not a real man who will take him so he has not seen a woman yet and with this character and mind. I'm 26 years old, I haven't lived with my parents for a long time - I probably don't have a girlfriend, come on, that's not a problem for me, but people like the author are clear and transparent. At least be grateful that your mother hasn't kicked you on the street yet, because tomorrow and have no roof over your head. Drummer !!!
I am 40 years old. I have a son of 21 and a younger daughter. I'm divorced. I have never been unemployed except when I was a mother. I also clean and cook. I also respect my children and the right to decide when to rest and what to eat. The choices I make regarding our household are in line with them. How else could it be if we are a family? My children as soon as they respect me Always! have a place in your home. Comments like "you have no place in their home" are incomprehensible to me. To certain people here who have decided not to have children - congratulations. It is clear from the statements that you are not a parent. To those who have children and insult the author - sorry for their children. The mother is a parasite with neurosis. Also, without going to work, basic knowledge and battles for survival outside the home are also saved. And this is a key experience to pass on to your children. She can't be helped. She doesn't want to. She is complacent and has lost the measure. In this family, only the father has authority, but apparently does not use it. You also need insulation in another bedroom, away from the bed with the father. If you are still intimate just be deprived. Limitation of powers over family budget. And starting with tirades and demonstrations ignore! Author build your life away from it. You may be on a street next door, but she may not feel welcome.
What insults erupted in this topic. I'm shocked! And from people who claim that others love and respect them. Toxic parents should not be tolerated and no one is obliged to love, respect and care for their parents if they do not receive the same in return. How selfish are you to give birth to slaves instead of children? How do you expect to behave like pigs and they kiss your hand? From personal experience I can say especially at number 1 that a person hates himself when he sits and suffers because "he is my mother" and true peace and harmony comes to your soul when you break off relations with such toxic relatives. It is not a great miracle to give birth. And stray dogs give birth. The important thing is how you educate, whether you love and respect. Here are only manipulative self-propelled guns who want to control their children and make them serve them for life.
Okay, but why are you so sure this woman doesn't have a health problem? She is irritable, clean, has no friends ... to me it sounds like indicators of a health problem (mental, psychological, neurological). Maybe she has panic attacks, maybe she is hypodepressive, it is not known. I lived for almost 21 years without realizing that one of my parents had actually had such a problem for years. He did not work, did not go out, avoided all social events, behaved like a hypochondriac. And I found out by coincidence, otherwise they might not have told me. It's just that I had similar problems, it turned out that I have a genetic predisposition. I talked to my parents, they revealed this "family secret" to me, I turned to the right doctors, who explained exactly what the problem was and what was happening to my brain. You criticize your mother, but there may be things you are not aware of, God forbid, but such problems are often caught by children. I really hope I'm wrong. I'm not going to defend her, I don't know her after all, but you don't have to be so angry. What exactly do you want from her? To clean all day and be silent by getting dirty, to cook your favorite things, to stop smoking, to be silent, to work (so you have a job and make money). I don't understand you at all. You are a great man and you have taken your life. You support yourself, or at least to a large extent alone, you live apart from them, you study. You took life in your hands. Your mother has not been such a factor in your daily life for a long time, you are not even under one roof. You do not take money from her, nor do you live with them. When you come home, you are really like a guest. Why do you care that it doesn't work, she wants to be clean and cooks 5 dishes? You can't help your father because he obviously doesn't want help and doesn't think he needs it. Man loves her, accepts her and lives with her. If he wanted anything else, he'd be on his way by now. There is a financial opportunity, you are already big ... he would have no problem asking for a divorce if he didn't like something.
I read all the comments, next to a man of my friend's mother has been a housewife all her life and is very cool and unobtrusive, and what you describe is my mother. We don't have neighbors to talk to, the woman has a fight with everyone. At first we thought it was critical, but there was no end to it if you moved the trash can a crazy scandal, if you didn't move it the same way again. The only thing that my sister and I think is that my mother is not happy with the life she leads, there is probably a discrepancy between expectations and dreams from 40 years ago, for example, and the current situation, combined with fear of aging. Maybe at some point your mother woke up and found that she had re-domesticated her life, dreamed of a man with money, social status and travel abroad, and now is angry that she fucked up years ago in your choice. The truth is that while you are with them she will irritate you, and you will irritate her. Many times I have wondered why ours are together and I have told myself better to separate you, now that I do not live with them I am glad that they are together, that there is someone to have dinner with and take care of each other. What I'm really afraid of is that I don't know what I inherited from her and whether at some point I will become such a monster and whether I will understand that it is happening. However, we cannot escape our genes.
Author: Thank you for having people who understood me. And whoever thinks that I am waiting for the finished product, does not seem to have read that I have a job, study and live in a dormitory. I rarely go to Bulgaria, but I love my father and my home and I want to see him. The other thing is that maybe since 6th grade I can handle everything on my own, and my mother hasn't moved a finger. For her birthday we bought her a perfume, which she really likes, for nearly 300 leva. And mine a few weeks ago, she didn't even congratulate him, but a few days later she called me to see if I would draw. My father gives me money or something symbolic every year, I don't want something expensive, I want something from the heart. I don't feel a gram of heat from this woman! There is never a spirit in our house at Christmas. Last Christmas night I made a scandal of my father in front of my grandparents. That's why I said I wouldn't celebrate Christmas Eve with her, she has friends, who are more than family to me. And from where to where will I throw the beers? And my father is a very decent man, he didn't make her do anything, and when I was little he used to prepare food for me for school, things, help with homework. She is a wax figure in our country, only she speaks like a parrot. And trying to dominate. She is completely healthy, there may be some OCD, who knows, but the diabetic father goes to work and trembles, and she, as they say, a mare healthy and straight - nothing. So there is money for Latin dancing? From my father? And I pay for the semesters myself. When I was a kid, I took a kitten, she threw it away and said that if I put it in again, it would shake. What kind of woman do you think this is? Everything looks very easy from the side. And I don't mind that she doesn't cook, we are supposed to be a family, but she just buys and cooks the things she loves while my father looks after everyone. When she got angry with me, she bought waffles and brought them into her room to eat on her own. What kind of thing is this? And as a child, how many times have I made her snacks in bed, for a little motherly love? You would all roar if you had such a mother. As for the fact that she didn't throw me out. I repeat, she did not look at me except as a baby. After she had sex and created me, I was indebted to her until I was 18 years old. But only my father cared.
When I read about your mother, I immediately made an association with my neighbor, a woman of years older than your mother, who had never worked in her life. I used to make fun of her - well, she knows by heart all the series on all programs. But now I think I'm thinking - well, she's a million times better than me, preserved mentally and physically, because she didn't drink sweaty water, she doesn't know stress, her boss hangs on her head, she gets angry with people ... And I work one I am one of the most stressful things - I am a teacher, everyday stress, a bunch of diseases as a result of it, our contingent is mostly minorities, it is very, very difficult. So who's the scammer in this case? He who eats the pie is not mad, he who gives it is mad. You are a great person, if all this irritates you, live on your own. And don't get me wrong - from what you write you are nicer to me than your mother.