When I'm at home I don't feel capable of doing anything - I don't go to school, I don't walk the dog, I don't clean, I don't cook ... Nothing! I feel depressed and wasting my time ruined. The result is that if he does something he is half-drunk and reluctant .... When I go to my friend for a week or two I am very productive. I go to school, I clean, I take care of my and his dog, I have time and desire to draw, and I read ... I help my friend while he is at work with what I can ... And I feel very good. I have time for everything ... I even manage to rest. Happiness from everywhere ... However, for example, while I am at school in the morning he has already walked and fed the dog, his mother has cooked lunch ... And so when I come home I have the conditions and the time to do a lot of things and help as I can before to get back to the dog, and learning ... At home - my mother neither works, nor cooks, nor walks. It doesn't help at all. My grandmother works in two places because of her ... If I cook everything is eaten without any comment. If I clean the next day, it's still a misery. If I go to school then I find the dog hungry, unspent and made a bunch of white or RUNNING, on the street ... If I spend the morning for the dog, then my success is a complete disaster. My friend's parents are as busy as he is, but when I'm there they cancel me for one thing so I can do another, they appreciate my efforts for everything, etc. We don't help each other at home, so there are a lot of scandals. And I'm still guilty! It just kills my desire for life, as it's called ... And I stop doing anything. I try to stay longer with my friend, but I don't want to be arrogant ... My daily life crushes me ... For example, now I have a mild health problem involving severe pain, and at home I only hear how to clean, cook, walk the dog ... I can barely breathe in pain, visually I look awful, I take heavy medication, I have to be on every day doctor ... And again no one helps me. (To clarify - at home they give me neither money nor anything material, to say "they support you, what more do you want?") I will soon start work and I just can't imagine how I will succeed in everything ... Learning, walking, cooking , the dog, my friend, etc. + work .... Emmy, it's like I have no living relatives and I'm alone in this world! Do I want a lot? All my life I have tried to be independent, not to engage anyone ... Whenever I have the opportunity, I leave home so as not to weigh in any way ... And as I said even now, when I live here I go to my friend at least once every two months for 2 weeks ... But it's just such a period in my life that I need a little help. At least in the morning, when I have the most things to do. Is there a problem in me? What should I do? If work starts, I will move out in time - I still have to feel confident in everything about it .... But it will take some time. How do I act before that happens?
Answers 12
Nurture the dog, the dog, the dog. You will say he is human. Animals were created to serve man, not the other way around. To feed the dog, to walk him, to bathe him ... Are you wiping his ass? I don't want to be picky, but this dog caught my eye. I wish you to bring order to your life and to arrange your priorities correctly. I can see a big mess, at least that's how you described it, but it's simple. You go out to a room with your friend ... The dog :))) and then no one will scatter after you, you will have time to study, work, your friend, etc. success
You manage, but none of your relatives appreciate it. Can't you move in with your friend? Let's see who will clean, cook, etc. Try!
Yes, young people must live independently and separately from their parents. And no dogs (no cats, parrots, hedgehogs and similar menagerie ...)! At least until they give birth and raise their children ... Yes, you have no living relatives - these are not your relatives but leeches, parasites. Until they get to the point where they can't take care of themselves, you have nothing to do with them!
The author: Eee, everyone who has watched a small dog knows how much care it is ... That's why I clarified that this is such a period of my life. It's just that now it's important to walk regularly because you can't squeeze; his teeth itch - short, whatever he finds; That said - yes, at the moment and wipe his ass. :) Taking responsibility for another being requires energy and time, yes. I don't see what shocks you. I, that I will go out to the lodging - I will go out. I need a secure income and suitable accommodation. If it was that easy ....
In the first paragraph, I thought it was a momentary mild depression, in which case you have to wait a month before you recover. In the next one, however, he said that he was generally active. And that's why your situation is much more complicated than your current illness. In any case, you have to get away from your parents, a job is not easy to find, but if you find one, you start doing it and leave learning. You're just trying to get out of yours because they really are leeches. I don't know your age - but my cousin went to live with her 16-year-old friend. Yours won't let you go easily, but if you're 16. You have the right to do so. So I suggest you tell all this to your friend and ask him to move in with them. Better a poor horse than no horse at all. If your friend accepts, to live with them, ok, you will help in the household and with the dog, you will watch your school, something you usually do, but you will get away from the leeches that destroy you. After school, you start a job and help your friend.
Author, you just grow up and become an adult. Every married woman does all these things / Studying, walking, cooking, the dog, my boyfriend, etc. work. /, without help, as a bonus takes care of your children. So as long as you roar, but tighten up, you will be like that for the rest of your life, so get used to being a woman. Learning - a person learns all his life, and mothers take the time to teach their children. Walking, cooking, the dog in most families is considered a woman's job, especially if the man is more than 10 hours at work. A friend or husband wants attention all his life. And you will go to work all your life. I think the things you listed are actually normal family responsibilities that almost every woman does at home.
This is how you feel, because your mother is lazy and creates this disgusting and painful atmosphere in your home.
Until №7 - in fact, these things he described, not all are considered "women's affairs". We are in the 21st century, in many families the responsibilities are shared, and in some even the man has a leading role in the household (yes, I'm talking about this type of "man henpecked"). And the fact that you call it "normal family duties that almost every woman performs at home." Is your opinion. In this family, the daughter has become Cinderella - cooks, cleans, sews ... And the mother - "At home - my mother neither works, nor cooks, nor walks.". True, the author has well educated herself to be independent, but at this age she still needs the help of her family. Author, here is my advice: Get out. At your age, I went to college to separate myself from the family atmosphere. You can go to another city, but ... Your friend? You will be away from him. What about your grandmother? She is ruined by work, "works in two places." A difficult situation ... How long will it take before Cinderella becomes a princess? I wish you luck! :-)
Abe, reading how you write, I think you should put more emphasis on school.
I do not agree with number 1. When you watch a dog, even if it is an adult, you must take it out every morning and evening until it has done its "work", and once a day to give him food and fresh water. If you cannot provide him with these vital conditions - DO NOT TAKE A DOG IN AN APARTMENT !!! Another point is that you want to go out and start working. But I guess you don't pay rent and if you have your own room and don't pay attention to those who live in the other part of the apartment, I think it would be better to stay with you until you get on your feet. ". If the grumbling of yours burdens you and you can not cope with this fact, another option is to move in with your friend (if you are better there of course). I personally would not bother to do it and I will not feel impudent. If he loves you and theirs, he will be happier than you to be with them. But there is 1 problem - your DOG. If you think that yours can't take care of him and there will be a problem if you have to take him with you to your friend - THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM !!! At least in my opinion, because you leave the dog to its own devices, which will either lead to its death or become a street person. I don't know how old you are, whether you are an adult, whether you are studying in high school or university - there is a huge difference. If you study on average, in no case do not interrupt your education, for whatever reason !!! Otherwise it's not as black as you describe it. The only problem I sympathize with is that your people don't care about you and don't even support you financially (especially if you're a minor - that's unacceptable in my opinion). I wish you the strength to handle yourself!
I'm older than you, but sometimes I have the same problem. To me, too, no one helps me with the household or the dog, and quite often with work, housework, cooking, a dog, etc., I get a good 15-16 hours of useful activity. The result is that there comes a time when I can't sleep, I'm stressed and everything I do goes backwards. Then I sleep for a good 13 hours, rest for a day (rarely two) and I can start again. But it strikes me that the recovery time is getting longer, at shorter and shorter periods of time. There is no escape from fatigue. I also have a little puppy and I know it's a responsibility - it ate my life, but I love it and will continue to take care of it, no matter that it picks me up at 6 o'clock every morning for a walk.
Up to №9 From №7 In this family, the daughter seems to be an adult, or at least if she is old enough to live with her friend for two weeks, then she is old enough to cook and clean. When a person is an adult he cannot ask for help from his relatives to clean the cook, they will do it if they want and when they want, especially in their own home. If my daughter is an adult, no one can tell me when I will walk home. if she wants to walk, if she doesn't want not to walk, I will walk when I decide, or stay in my "dirty" apartment or apartment, the choice is hers. Plus, the man in a household, in addition to working, he does "male activities" in the home that you don't consider work. For example, when painting, the man paints the woman clean the floor afterwards. The man removes and places the lampshades, various socket switches, repairs electrical appliances, the car, etc. Nobody makes the woman slaughter a pig / calf, the steaks are bought cut, you just throw them on the grill. In the 21st century, you don't have to wash just start the machine. And to give me an example of a MAN "man henpecked" - the man under the slipper, you make me laugh a lot. So which woman wants a man under a slipper?