Hello, some time ago I went to a country where I don't know anyone, I met a girl. It turned out as in the fairy tales in which Adam meets Eve on a lonely island. Falling in love was just inevitable. The problem was that the girl had a boyfriend. My heart ached very much since then, I collapsed and since then I have said to myself that I will never deal with committed girls ... I ended all relationships and deleted her from Facebook. It's just that it's still in my head. I haven't seen her for almost 2 years .. I recently saw that she has a birthday and I decided to congratulate her .. I can't explain this .. just because I wrote her my heart ached again in the same way, I can't I described the feeling as if I was fine, all of a sudden everything turned black and I felt disgusted ... and this feeling doesn't go away for a long time. It's as if my heart is telling me. "
Answers 8
You know how you feel, and yet you seem to have misaligned the lines between heart and mind.
Apparently you still have some residual feelings for this girl, perhaps caused by the fact that you could not experience your relationship. We have a habit of always remembering the people we missed and thinking about what it would be like ... As long as you feel something for her, you can't be friends. If you get closer, the story will repeat itself, because you have not experienced it yet. I don't know the reason why for 2 years you can't forget a girl who obviously didn't intend to be with you, but it's high time you did. Not to be her friend, but for yourself, to feel free from this burden. If you decide to keep in touch with her, you will not be able to move forward. On the contrary, you need something new, different, to meet the right person for you. And it won't happen, if you stand in front of the computer and look at the girl's profile, and when you tighten up a little, you realize that you deserve to be liked and loved, and you start fresh. Good luck!
In principle, you can - but you have to be able to control your feelings. Something that happens very difficult. How - you just tell yourself that you see it in a certain way. In case - you say to yourself, she is just a friend of mine and I see her that way, you have to try to believe that. But sometimes when the feelings are very strong, it doesn't work. I apply this theory - but sometimes an inner voice laughs at me and says - ha - are you sure? I try to control myself, but I fail.
The strangest thing is that I don't want to have a relationship with this girl. Because it just doesn't fit my ideal of a woman. Even if I didn't have a friend, I wouldn't start a relationship. This is super weird. I don't know why I'm obsessed with this girl and what's going on inside me. But I know I don't want to feel that way. I want to not care .. when I see her writing Hello, let me write to her - Hello. Not to block her all my life and avoid her when she writes to me ... I don't know why this continues, but it's a lot of nonsense and it prevents me a lot.
You know, your last comment reminds me of something: If you love someone because of their beauty, it's not love, it's desire! If you love someone because of their intelligence, it is not love, but admiration! If you love someone because he is rich, it is not love, but interest! If you love someone and you don't know why ... it's love ... you have to know how to love without losing anything in return ... "
You talk only about yourself and how she perceives you, if she wants you to be just friends, there is no point in trying something else. My darling and my ideal for a man is defined but when you fall in love such things as an ideal do not matter. If your ideal is a sexy babe to know that without money it will be difficult.
I completely understand you. And I was fascinated by a girl who was not my ideal. I was very attracted to her, if she agrees try it, I couldn't make special contact, she was my friend's boyfriend. But I met a think like that only that she was a minor and I gave up again, such women are called a universal type, they have charm.
Hey, I like you. I went to another country where I didn't know anyone. Last but not least was the thought of looking for a friend. There I met a man and fell in love, it was not at first sight but it happened. He is not the first man in my life but he was my first in many things. I don't look at his pictures on purpose because I'm even sadder, we had a relationship. He left me and then blocked me from everywhere, he even hated me, I don't know what the reasons are, I didn't cheat on him or anything. He talked about marriage, marriage, and so on. and a little later he dumped me, I don't understand why it happened that way. I'm glad there are still men like you, and why don't you want a relationship with her when you like her. Try to be friends, write to her, do not avoid her immediately and there you will find out how to act later.