I Cheat And Feel Intolerant Of My Husband Without Doing Anything To Me

   When you dislike your husband (or anyone), the problem is really with you. This applies to everyone. We project our personal shortcomings on others, usually we own everything that irritates us in others and we ourselves to some extent. I'm not convinced that the psychologist wasted your time, I don't think you thought about the questions he asked you. They are not accidental, they have a purpose. A psychologist can only help if you want it yourself and give reliable information. About the problem - in my opinion, you are trapped in a "comfortable life". That is, you have everything, and because you have it by default, you don't have to make an effort to get it. She said herself - your husband does everything that is asked of him, loves you, is physically in perfect shape, etc. Do you gesture to him? Does the whole initiative in sex come from him (I think it's from him, you yourself said that "you couldn't talk about sex with you"). In reality, when you're in a "comfortable position" and you don't have to work for your relationship, it loses its meaning and disgusts you. There is no thrill, no emotion, everything just "goes somehow", which is not interesting. Think about it. Think about what was different before, when your relationship was going well. Compare now with before. Think about whether it would be better if you split up and why. What if, for example, he finds a mistress, would it be better? Actually, to be even, he deserves it too, right? and you don't have to work for your relationship, it loses its meaning and disgusts you. There is no thrill, no emotion, everything just "goes somehow", which is not interesting. Think about it. Think about what was different before, when your relationship was going well. Compare now with before. Think about whether it would be better if you split up and why. What if, for example, he finds a mistress, would it be better? Actually, to be even, he deserves it too, right? and you don't have to work for your relationship, it loses its meaning and disgusts you. There is no thrill, no emotion, everything just "goes somehow", which is not interesting. Think about it. Think about what was different before, when your relationship was going well. Compare now with before. Think about whether it would be better if you split up and why. What if, for example, he finds a mistress, would it be better? Actually, to be even, he deserves it too, right?

   Infidelity is an ugly act. Your husband has to divorce you, I wonder how he tolerates you. If you don't want him, why are you with him ... Leave him and find another. Why should you humiliate and harass your husband !?

   The reason is in your husband, he treats you too well. And you can't give him back with the same and that makes you envy him for the kindness that you yourself are not capable of. The best option is to go to your husband and tell him that you have cheated on him. He will be upset, but he will also get aroused (this is the case with men). He will close in on himself and start behaving like a rag. Then you will be relieved and you will start looking him in the eyes with a wet look. . One day of restrained arousal may rape you (testosterone), which is what you want. You want him to be a rude, disgusting man. There were easier options, but you chose this one. The bad thing here is that your trust will drop .... or maybe it will go up (unlikely), depending on how much you have loved each other so far. Just don't procrastinate and keep quiet, otherwise your marriage and everything you had will collapse

   I wonder if the topic is fake or can there really be such a fall? "If your level is so simple, you can spit on me and swear as much as you want." Do you expect someone to admire you? The most basic thing here is you. A stupid oversatisfied whore who doesn't know what else to ask for from life and because she can't think of any hobby, sport, reading or any meaningful activity out of boredom and idleness, she bangs with some mold. And in order to have some emotion in her senseless squirming, she hated the one who provided it for her and spat in the hand that fed her. And no, you're not really convinced of your worthlessness and you don't feel guilty. Because there is punishment and redemption for guilt, and you are not looking for such. If you had it, you would confess to your husband and get out of his life on your own. But what honesty to expect from something that is only defined as shit? My only advice to you is this - let your husband live, don't poison him, and fuck you - if you want a lover, if you want a hundred.

   "If your level is so simple, you can spit on me and swear" "I realize I'm shit." At least you already know what your level is, don't you, slut?

   Grief grief, and number 3 cries out that her husband is guilty after whatever the poor man does, it's still not good. The woman must be annoyed even more that the man does not even suspect what is happening, ie that he is mega swinging and that even if she shares her story with him, at most to tell her that he does not want to lose her and she has the right of choice as long as it does not affect their relationship. Look for more lovers, you can lie to a young man. The current ones are so desperate for a motherly thrill that you can easily be faithful to one sex and care.

   Something deeper is happening to you, and it has nothing to do with your husband or your lover. It seems to me that you are depressed. It is time to seek spiritual growth - your soul is hungry, feed it. Find your mission - the main goal of your life is slipping away. Maybe it's time to read on spiritual topics, build a spiritual life on a higher level, and learn to give. No one feels happy just taking, because a person is designed so that if he does not give, he becomes depressed or angry. Dig deep inside yourself to find the missing thing that makes you do things that you are not happy about and that offend yourself. You don't say anything about your sons either. Are you in love with your children and now that they are big and not emotionally dependent on you, to feel useless? If necessary, work in this direction. According to me, you cheat in order to have a reason to call yourself bad and justify your low opinion of yourself, and the latter is caused by something else that seems wrong to you and that you deny and do not want to admit. Somehow you project another problem on your attitude towards your husband. Because it's easier. Your real problem, in my opinion, is that you have no goals, you have abandoned your spiritual development and you are afraid of aging (this fear is also related to your spiritual development). Some call it a midlife crisis, I call it free time for spiritual growth and finding meaning in your life. Somehow you project another problem on your attitude towards your husband. Because it's easier. Your real problem, in my opinion, is that you have no goals, you have abandoned your spiritual development and you are afraid of aging (this fear is also related to your spiritual development). Some call it a midlife crisis, I call it free time for spiritual growth and finding meaning in your life. Somehow you project another problem on your attitude towards your husband. Because it's easier. Your real problem, in my opinion, is that you have no goals, you have abandoned your spiritual development and you are afraid of aging (this fear is also related to your spiritual development). Some call it a midlife crisis, I call it free time for spiritual growth and finding meaning in your life.

   My opinion is that you are oversatisfied and do not know what you want. If your husband had left you alone with a child without support and help, you would not have thought of men at all. Nothing personal is the opinion of a woman who manages on her own. :)

   I can't understand how a 48-year-old woman could describe herself as shit? Fiction

   Get a divorce! Your husband is obviously a good man and does not deserve such treatment on your part. And then go to another psychologist, if necessary to a psychiatrist and look for the problem deep inside. It is not normal to hate someone for no reason! Something with your nerves, hormones or I know what's wrong. Look for the cause and treat yourself! Yes, it is true, over time, long-term relationships run out, but yours is not just boredom, but open hatred and a desire to hurt and hurt your partner, without a clear reason. If he misbehaved with you, if he beat you or harassed you mentally, I understand, but given that you write yourself that he is great and does not deserve such treatment on your part ... it is clear that the problem is in you! Find it and take action!

   Very strange story. You don't believe in psychologists, but they help if they are good, if you walk long and if you believe in them and change. There is a change in you on a psychological level. I don't know what happened, but something alienated you from your husband. But the strangest thing is that actually having sex with your lover is not satisfactory and is nothing special. If you are looking for variety in bed, isn't it normal to aim at someone who is more playful and resilient ..... Think about where this hostility comes from. Something in him provoked you. It seems to me that sex is not the main reason. He's 10 minutes anyway. I don't think you're just looking for sex.

   The author. Thank you for the answers, especially on 1 and 7. I am deeply aware that the reason is in me and I do not accidentally offend myself. My children are big - students, one is graduating. They live independently in separate dwellings. During my marriage, I did not have any problems with housing, money or raising children, because they always helped me. My husband took care of everything, and I waited. I am not beaten or insulted or abused, but loved, but for what .... I work for years the same job without development. Simply because it's so convenient for me. And that's why I came here, to fall so low, not knowing what to do with my life and to hurt the man who did the most for me.

   This story is painfully familiar to me because my ex-fiancé was just like you. Exactly the same image. We have been together for 8 years. What can I say about him? A wonderful, kind, caring and educated man. This man was my biggest focus in life and you do your best to make me feel happy. Last year, this movie set completely fell apart. He started behaving horribly towards me, he couldn't stand me, he avoided me, we stopped having sex, etc. I wondered why this man treated me this way. Did I do something? I struggled because I was trying to fix this wreck, to understand what was happening to us. At one point I got tired. I was offended, grieved, and humiliated by this attitude toward me that I did not deserve. One day we just sat down and I told him how I was feeling and that I had no intention of continuing. Then he started talking, told me everything, apologized for his attitude. He admitted that he had a problem, he admitted that he had other relationships with women. He said everything I thought all the time. Well, we broke up. My advice to you is very simple: Be honest and sincere with the person next to you! Honesty is the best policy in a relationship. Tell him everything, don't save anything. This man loves you and deserves to know. You may not have found the solution to this problem because you forgot to share it with the most important person. He's struggling because he has to guess what's going on with you, and that's not good at all. You have a problem, find the solution together. I believe that everything will be fine. I read a lot of insulting comments, where there are creatures who allow themselves to call the author insulting words, I ask the moderators to do something about it,

   Most likely you start to enter the critical, you are not on your own and you do not understand what is happening to you. Seek help from competent medical professionals, because the symptoms in this period are very different, for some it is easier, for others more severe - some just "go crazy". Don't wait until you get sick or ruin your family.

   Author, it's not your husband's fault that you didn't do anything with your life. I am sure that he even gave you all the freedom to develop and did not stop you. If that calms you down, I'll tell you that even if you did something, you would still die, like everyone else. It all ends in the end. You took this life very seriously.

   You enter the critical. Take measures and do not spoil your family. I know what it is. It says 55 years old. You have a decent husband talking to him. Mine helped me a lot then.

   Author, if you read this message at all ... As you wrote the story, we can safely say that your actions are like a lump * n! And if you read it in the third person, abstracting that it is about you, you will draw the same conclusion. Do you modern women solve all your problems in this way - through infidelity? Starting from the lack of money in the partner, that you are bored, that they do not love you enough, to cases of a perfectly settled and satisfying life with a loving and good-looking man ... and two independent children ... The recipe is one and the same for you - I'm sick of such ... This is the behavior of a geek. Just as a country drunkard comforts himself with a cup for all the setbacks in life, so do you. I wonder how rightly you accuse your lover of being bare water - and what are you? Are you a mega sexy chick fury in bed? You have to lie.

   Don't take your husband to realize and find a mistress at 25. Then you'll scream to the dead.

   I have never met a woman who speaks for herself in this way. If the topic is real at all. What I see is low self-esteem, dysthymia, mild depression. However, the author goes to work and even on meetings with the other. What advice would I give? Courage is needed in life. Fear and hatred do not bring happiness. Courage to look deep inside to find what you want. Courage to do it. Every day, every waking minute!

   This is one of the most interesting stories I have read here. It is interesting because it is a lie from beginning to end, without the author realizing it. That is, the facts are probably true, but their meaning is manipulated in order to disguise the author's innermost desire - someone to recognize its significance. What she demonstrates is the infantile behavior of the school bully, who with every action seems to shout: "Yes, look at me how bad I am! Punish me now, hate me! And I will get worse ...", and in fact he wants to whisper, "Please don't hurt me, I want someone to love me too, to love me so much that it doesn't matter who I am, to love me unconditionally." We are all looking for this unconditional love. A husband — even the most wonderful — can seldom offer it to us; over time, the feelings become deeper, but also calmer. Some women love just this tender security, but others are in desperate need of fresh excitement. And as a logical solution in most cases a lover appears here and he, also in most cases - younger. But it not only does not solve, but deepens the problem, because the outside of the balloon is colorful, but inside is full of air. Do I know, author, that after every meeting with your lover you feel devastated and crushed? The lover is like a miniature band of adhesive tape on a deep bleeding wound. It is no coincidence that a seemingly unnecessary detail slips into the story - that the secret man refused French love, ie he rejected a proposal for more intimacy. The author speaks of this lover as a hated dentist - you have to visit him to treat your problem, but the good thing is that it ends quickly. Because you don't see another cure - the sons have flown out of the nest, they have their own life, they don't care about you. And she's gone, she doesn't have that unconditional love that you need so much ... that's why it's better to become a "bad girl", to provoke hatred, to be punished. All this, at least in my eyes, is written in black and white between the lines of this story. I am not a psychologist, but as a sufficiently experienced person I will predict that the author's depression will deepen and eventually harm her health, especially if alcohol and drugs interfere with the sadomasochistic picture. I dare not give you cardinal advice, author, but you can try something that will certainly not hurt you. Namely - to look for unconditional love within yourself. Start you two - "you" and "you" - dating, going out, having fun, sharing, to have your secrets, your rituals. It sounds schizophrenic, but in periods of depression that everyone has, especially at this age (I'm also 48), it helps me a lot to flirt with myself. I go out to the theater with me, I and I have dinner somewhere, we both go for a walk, go shopping, remember funny stories, tell jokes, dream, listen to music. My husband is not allowed to attend these "ladies' meetings". When he first saw me go out in a formal dress at the opera and realized that he had not been invited, he decided that I was going with a friend and was quite surprised when I told him that I would be alone. I had a wonderful time. The show was great, I looked wonderful, I was served attentively in the restaurant and most importantly I was in good company - my own. Since then, these "intimate moments" have become my secret love, they give me more than any man would offer me - the awareness of my own significance. They also brought a new thrill to my marriage because they reminded my husband of the woman she ran after with her tongue out years ago. I remembered her too.

   You have to be treated radically, you are spoiled. You want someone to treat you like a scumbag ... whatever you are. You want someone to break your face, divorce you, leave you alone in your old age and the children, ashamed of you, do not want to look at you anymore in their lives. You completely forgot yourself. Like most genors in today's liberal slop, by the way ... Do you know why I'm disgusted by people like you? Because we are still trying to believe that you have at least 1 gram of mind left. Empty hopes. The Arab world must come here ...

   In all likelihood, your husband is too good and has spoiled you. He cares, he pleases you, you get on his head. This is destiny, but you will have to suffer.

   №23, cheered me up a lot: .. they reminded my husband who that woman was, after whom she ran with her tongue out years ago. ... That such things are forgotten? .. I'm even surprised that you told him: Yes! Usually women ignore the big whims and fall for a more balanced one.