I gave birth to a child a few months ago. I'm so exhausted that at times I want my old life back. For many years I delayed my pregnancy because I was not ready. There were times when I openly said that I did not want to have a child because I did not want to bother in life, that the child was a burden, etc. To these moods of mine, my mother reacted sharply, killing aggression, that I was selfish that she would not see her grandson because of me, etc. After a while I gave birth. Well, I was told the game as I think it is. I haven't slept in months, my hands hurt from a baby's nose, I'm exhausted, my hair is falling out, I'm ruined. Why was it me. Finally, everyone beats his heel and I watch it alone. I feel trapped, lied to about how good it is to have a child. But that is already a fact. I wash my ass all day, change my clothes, listen to the roar and scream baby stories. I sleep for 3-4 hours at night, during the day I maneuver between food, hygiene, snoring. I take a bath once every 2-3 days, I just can't do it physically. My eyes are burning, but I can't sleep because of insomnia. I ruined my body. Neighbors constantly tease me that it's time for a second ... when I say that I don't want to be called selfish ...
Answers 37
It is probably quite difficult to adapt from a quiet life to one with more commitments .. but I did not read anywhere that you love your child .. but when he looks at you with those little eyes, don't you feel sorry? .. Grit your teeth madam, time flies, so even a little and the child will already have a regime, will grow up, will give it to the nursery and will pay a little attention to yourself .. As far as help, do not wait for it .. well, straight go and leave the baby with grandma and say that you have an appointment for a hairdresser, work in the bank, you have to go shopping like that ... go to sleep !! The next day again for 1 2 hours .. go out .. This way you can grieve for a baby, be calmer mentally, pay attention to your partner .. do not despair, because this is the easiest-yes we complain .. find alternatives ..
Little woman, go see yourself ... what do you give birth to when you don't want children, huh? She was tired ... I gave birth to my second daughter with an emergency cesarean section and after the birth I went home alone !!! Not only did everything hurt, but my husband was posted to another city for 7 months, 3 of which had passed by the date of birth. I spent 4 months alone, with two children and with surgery and I did not shed a tear !!! Only I know how I coped. Tighten her up and ask for help, because here you see an ad "an unwanted baby is given as a gift". What's wrong with you people? !! You're shaking me.
You reap what you sow. I gave birth to my daughter with a cesarean section, no one helped me, no one owed me! She is already a year and a half old and I can do it ALONE. I enjoy spending time with her. If you organize your time properly, you will have time for yourself. I didn't let myself get carried away, I found time for sports, for manicures, for a hairdresser. The fact that you do not bathe for 2-3 days in summer time simply has nothing to comment on, do not go out with the number that you do not have time, because I look after my child alone. I think you have postpartum depression, but that doesn't excuse you. For all mothers the change is huge, your daily life becomes radically different, but if you do not organize your day yourself, things will not work out for you. Raise your head, smile at the little man, put your nerves aside, you will see that it will be easier for both you and the little one. Your great wife, tighten up,
Author, you are very critical of everything. Can't it be that bad ???? I am in such a period of hesitation whether I want a child now or not. I'm afraid that everything else will change completely and most of all you can't bring it back if you don't like it. Is there really no one to help you? Unload something? Sorry for the question, but how old are you and what did you do before motherhood? I am 29 years old. and I am in a field with many people, constant daily contacts. I wish you things to adjust and start a happy period for you and your baby.
Let everyone blow it. Don't be attached to them at all. That's why children are made when you are ready and if you want. Making your child give birth because you want to be a grandparent is more selfish. When they want them to give birth. But they don't want to, because they know what it is. I wouldn't talk to your stupid mother, who knew a lot, and now she was a whip. You spy - the child will only grow and become more independent. You may have postpartum depression and things may look blacker than they are.
This period will pass. It is very difficult, a fact, especially if you are alone. Don't get upset at the neighbors' insults, ignore them. Also, find a way to stay alone for a while and rest and take care of yourself, because otherwise postpartum depression and exhaustion lurk. Well, your mother, she made an effort for her grandson to look a little. I know you need to share here because your loved ones will see you as a monster complaining instead of being infinitely happy. From time to time I feel in complete despair, because I myself was struggling for two children, and now I feel very upset. I know how you feel and I sympathize with you.
You have to fix it easily, stop rocking it, put it in the trash and when you get tired it will fall asleep or use a swing. I wipe it with wet towels, it is not necessary to bathe every day. In the evening you can give him formula to sleep through the night. Mine after the first month sleeps all night. The work is not easy, even when it gets big and it starts to walk harder. Drink vitamins.
I have two and I know how hard it is, especially considering that we have no one around us to help. But literally no one. However, when I read such stories, I wonder at all how God gives children to such mothers, and to others - ready to give unreserved love and happiness - no ...
Why don't you hire a babysitter? Find a woman to watch it for you.
Where do the neighbors interfere? Should they watch it to say it's time for a second? My advice to you is to take care of yourself and go out more. Grab one or two girlfriends and go out with the baby. Leave it with your mother, sometimes go out in the evening (not in the evening, but 3-4 times a month). Eat regularly and take care of yourself. Success!
Your mother went through the same thing with you. Postpartum depression is called. It's easier than whispering that you don't have a child;)
These are normal feelings, especially since you didn't want it at first. The good thing about having a child may be that you will feel it later when he grows up and if your relationship is good. Not every organism tolerates it equally and some people really find it very difficult. Don't listen to the accusations at all ... you have already ignored your desires enough and obeyed your mother.
That's why Greeks and Turks have 3-4-5 children each ... and I don't see any of them ruined! Where are you going, Bulgaria, where are you going? ... Neither women - women, men - gay men or steroid idiots ...
No. 14, from people like you, the quality of forums like this falls, Turks have an average of two children, Bulgarians 1.6 and Greeks 1.3, ie less than us .... It would be nice to find out before you write, and if no, at least don't write nonsense .... DirtyDaddy
I just don't know why you care what others say. If my mother starts talking to me like that, I will tell her to look after her work and if she wants to give birth to another one. And I don't know my neighbors, but even if they talk like that, I will tell them that they have no right to interfere in my life, but to look after theirs. And I think a woman should have children when she's with a decent man and they have enough money at least for a babysitter.
Oh, when you give birth to a second, they will ask you for a third. When you give birth to a third, with what mind so many children. Listen, no pleasure! You don't live for the pleasure of others. Someone will always be dissatisfied and criticize you. So you answer that it doesn't work for them and you cut these questions to the root. These are intimate things between a man and a woman. I don't know if it calms you down, but an awful lot of women feel that way. Namely - we are all like that, who are without help. In the end, I was just proud that no one interfered with my upbringing. I want to tell you that the dawn is short. The baby will start sleeping at some point. Then it will become more and more independent. One day he will even eat alone. Then I will only dress. Gradually you will be freed of time and energy. Dawn awaits you for a few more months and after that the relief will not be abrupt, but you will gradually feel it. In addition, by weaning the child, you must take three days off and go to the spa, get drunk with friends, just go to the mountains to sleep. Believe me, it gives strength for months later. If you get tired of breastfeeding, wean him. Breastfeeding for six months is still good. Better a poor mother than no milk at all. Your husband should take leave and look after his child while you recover with a weekend off. Courage!
DD, not the Bulgarian women, but the Bulgarian citizens give birth 1.6 times. This is averaged with the gypsies, who give birth probably 5-6.
I feel depressed. It is not easy at all, but from the position of a mother of almost five years old, I can safely tell you that these are the best moments. Despite not sleeping, I cry and everything else.
15, go to Kavala, to Thassos - it's not that far, and look around. Think about you and your acquaintances, friends, relatives of your age, how many children you have, and then come and share :)
And what about those we kindly give to have a child? We hang out in clinics, we pray every month and finally we see that the children go to those who do NOT want them. the huge gift you received ..
The topic is fake. Too much grumbling, too little information. It is not known whether there is a man or not in the picture. He says "I gave birth to one" as if he says "I took a dog": D: D: D
In my opinion, the author gave birth to a child in the hope that everything will be like in advertisements for diapers or family photo shoots with babies in baskets. What she describes is the harsh reality, and more has come to her. I am not convinced that in her situation this will pass, which makes me think that the child will suffer the consequences. One is a child looked after by a calm mother, another if she is looked after by one like the author. :(
As long as you judge the author, people. Darling, you must have postpartum depression. If there is a way to go to a psychologist - 1, 2, 3 times just for a conversation. Psychologists do not give drugs, stay calm. From here, don't let them interfere with you - if you don't have the strength for a second one day, don't. Since there are many judges, I will give the opinion that many women nowadays in our country are hesitant about having a child. As for the Greek women - don't be ridiculous, they also have babysitters and people who look after the elderly, a Greek woman usually doesn't do housework. Here mothers are like the six-armed Buddha and it is really difficult to be a mother. The author loves her baby, it's just hard for her, she's a breastfeeding mother and even her hair is falling out.
It turns out that a tired young mother can't complain because they immediately jump on the ones who have failed to become such to be the poorest! Aman already! Especially say things like "why did God give there and not to me" And me to you for that, maybe! If you do not understand the noise of such a statement, neither medics nor God can help with or without a child! Author, I became an unprepared mother of two boys, without grandparents. Fortunately, however, I have close friends who helped me take a breath for 1-2 hours at least from time to time. And when I was ready to work, I knew a very good and sunny girl to help me with the boys. I was very lucky with her, the children loved her very much. For the first few months, I used a magnifying glass to observe their behavior with / around her to detect if they were worried, scared, or unwell. Nothing like that they even accepted her as an equal friend. Seek help, pay someone in the beginning, even if it's in your presence, to take a bath or just relax in your bedroom. You will decide for yourself when to go out and leave them alone. You will sleep and rest more after the year, then they also sleep longer. Wean the baby now, breastfeed long enough and this certainly contributes to your fatigue. Dare, there is little left around the clock vigil over the little man. Success! little remains of the round-the-clock vigil over the little man. Success! little remains of the round-the-clock vigil over the little man. Success!
You seem to have postpartum depression. Read, do you feel like that http://www.maikomila.bg/ нещо-наистина-не-беше-наред- след-като-р/ And if so, seek help in time. There is nothing shameful or abnormal.
I am very interested in those who watch their child play sports, go to the hairdresser and get a manicure. Who watches it during this time or just watches. And one more thing, how does this happen with a jealous baby who sleeps for a maximum of 15-20 minutes during the day? And another thing, there are children who will roar for 4-5 hours or all day, if they are left in the trash, should I be the disk and let it roar to exhaustion and snap my fingers ?! And what happens if even after the adapted milk the little man does not sleep? It is difficult with a small child, but the love I see in his eyes makes me gather strength and kiss and laugh with a lot of love. Well, there are other moments, but I try to keep them to a minimum. Depression is a fact and it really is up to the body and emotionality, because it appears in me from time to time, and my child is very desirable and difficult to realize. The author, grit your teeth and know that this baby needs you! Open up to him. You can't help but be pleased when he smiles at you. And yes, when you need it, just leave it for 1-2 hours to your mother without asking her and go out with friends or do something for yourself. This little one will become more and more independent over time and will not get a wound capsule all around him.
My little animal at 4 months. She eats every 3 hours, accurate as a clock, I'm late with her eating, he's grumbling. Just like his father. But at least he doesn't talk to criticize and insult like him. As he roars, he calms down only in the bathroom. I'm used to insomnia. Otherwise, I want a second child to grumble at home. Baby clothes are so cute and are very funny as they push for if they do
You write that you only sleep for 3-4 hours, lack of sleep is a cause of depression, etc., crazy. diseases of this kind, fatigue and exhaustion of the body. Get enough sleep, quality and complete food, drink vitamins, as they advised above. Natural chocolate activates the hormone of happiness, play some comedy movies and laugh freely. At first, small babies should have a fairly long sleep - at least 12 hours. Yours may still be waking up at night, crying, but that will pass. While the baby sleeps and you rest, take time for yourself. When he grows up a little, take a baby cot for him, decorate it with colorful toys, rattles - to have something to do with it. If you are too tired to bathe it, it is an option to clean it with wet baby wipes while it is still very small. Once you recover and feel more energetic, start walking in the fresh air with the stroller when the weather is nice. Slowly you will get in shape and you will feel infinitely happy with your little treasure!
I understand the author, but from my point of view that's why I don't want to have a child even though I'm a 25-year-old man. Sleepless nights, roaring eating every 3 hours changing diapers. It's not worth wasting my years with a child, I'm young too early. My mother also wants to have a grandson, if she wants so much I will adopt a child who is big, and to have my own child does not make sense. Male at 25
Naturally, the old aunts jumped to measure them. "I gave birth to mine with a cesarean section", "I gave birth to the second one by caesarean section", "I gave birth to a three-legged autistic man with teeth on his forehead" - to die laughing. It seems that when your uterus withers, nothing but giving wisdom and clever wisdom does not remain in the boring life. Author, I don't know how rude it will sound to you, nooooo ... what shaky village are you from? No, really - the year is 2018, why do you live with your mom and more interestingly: why does the old woman give you intelligence and allow her to blackmail you emotionally? Does she give birth to a child? Is hers your body? Does she wear it for 9 months and then look after it for at least 18 years? No? Then how did you not put her in her place? How brainless and impudent is it to call you selfish because YOU decide what you want to do with YOUR life and YOUR body? Explain, please. On top of that, you listen to what the neighboring villagers comment on - will you give birth a second time now to please them? In my honor, can one? But blond, girl, with blue eyes and 3 fingers - I will teach her to play the stocking. Someone fix me or do I just think it's the 21st century? I ask you again: why do you care about the opinion of some dormant edges, which when you turn your back stretch the back of the donkey? Why are you so passive in your life? Why do you allow it? Mommy will catch multiple sclerosis tomorrow and say that the next one is either a boy or you throw him in the bucket - 3 girls will go to the container before you please her again, right? Tip: take your life in hand. You have a child, you didn't draw an ace of spades from the deck. But that doesn't mean you can't have life again. You will find a way to be happy. But! There is one big BUT ... ... this will not happen if you allow anyone to manipulate you, to control you, to blackmail you, to poison your life. If you continue like this, the number is already dead. You can move on, you can! I believe in you, but it doesn't matter. You have to believe. Think about whose life you live - your own or someone else's. If the latter, then be a slave to mom until her death and beyond. But ... If even for a second you think that you have the right to choose, that your life also has its value, then you are OBLIGED to take responsibility with the consequences and to DEFEND your native right to be a free person, with your will. Think at least a little, what is better for you and now for your child? Let his mother be an emotional and physical wreck, who enslaves grandmothers with Alzheimer's? Or should the same figuratively grow t * s between her legs and be an example to him - to have a strong mother who has her own order in her life and who will raise him? He didn't say anything about the father, it gives me a good enough conclusion about his position in the marriage (or at least about your attitude towards him). So think seriously about what happens next. In one case, both you and the child are on fire. In the other, you both win. Make your choice.
Number 15, and you also find out before you write nonsense. I don't know where it came from that the Bulgarians gave birth to more than the Turks and the Greeks - Ahhahahahahahahahahaha. I hadn't read more nonsense. Greeks in 20 years have grown from 8 million to over 10 already. There is no family with less than 3-4 children in Turkey. You are probably one of those who believe in the NSI and Bulgarian politicians.
If the baby roars a lot, give him massages on the abdomen. Put it on a flint and lie down more often. After a warm bath, a kettle, say cold water, you pour it for a second or two, wrap it immediately and it should fall asleep sweetly.
Come on, just don't criticize the mother too much. I have a baby almost 4 months old, I have help, but it still comes up. And one should not complain. The fact that the author complains does not make her a bad mother, it makes her a normal person. They will adjust to the baby somehow and everything will fall into place. But you also need a little support. And there may be a slight depression. Hormones raged long after birth. I support the mother. She is first and foremost a human being! Author, it will get better, believe me. Anything that bothers you one day will be a faint memory.
Number 30, doing these things is mostly a matter of organization. Many mothers say that they do not have time for sports, for a hairdresser, for a manicure, but in my opinion it is a matter of priorities and desire. I go to the hairdresser twice a month because I curl my roots and paint. I'm not into manicures, but I go to a beautician once a month. And I try to play sports twice a week in a gym. And in fact, these things not only do not take much time, but also save me, because when I take a bath I already have a haircut, and when my skin is beautiful I do not need to put on makeup. My fitness opens at 7 and closes at 22 and I usually walk when the little one (at 1.3 years old) is asleep (between 20.30 and 8. 00). For sports, I notice that many women say "I don't have the strength for this, I'm tired", but in fact only a non-athlete can have such a wrong belief. 1 hour of sport tones and gives energy, does not take it. Not to mention how much health and self-confidence it gives and how nice it is to be among people. Well, that's how I do it. In reality, I am absent from the child's waking life for 3-4 hours a month, then his father looks after him, I also gave him to a friend to walk him with the stroller, if he is engaged in something. Sometimes these days, I fail to cook and order Chinese, pizza, chicken is not a drama. If you make an appointment at least a week in advance and do not waste time in transport, it is not very complicated. You don't even have to go to the gym, everyone can play internet at home with exercise videos, but I'm 4 months pregnant and I need guidance on what I can and can't do. In general, his mother's schedule is to manage her time, not to get up and be dragged like a fly without a head by the everyday life between the stove and the washing machine. It is clear that home care and children have no end,
Author, I understand you perfectly. I also have a child of one year. Things are not going well with my husband. At times I am so nervous that I feel like I'm going crazy. Out of boredom, I started working just to communicate with people. I work in the evening and during the day I am with the little one. That way I still don't sleep but I'm among people, I do something useful and I have a personal income. I don't know about my father and how long we will drive her like that. We are like roommates who only take care of the baby. All I know is that the child is not to blame for the mother becoming pregnant. He is still small and defenseless and needs a mother. From a hug and a kiss and help, as I do when I'm nervous and it's hard for me. This is a defenseless man who is a part of you and will love you all his life as your friends will never love you and as your husband will never love you. I would compare this love only to motherly love. When you have a hard time and you feel ugly, unsupported, housewife, tell yourself that you do all this for the only person who will really love you and who will really need you. I do so and it helps me.
I honestly don't understand this "mother". I gave birth young, I looked after my child alone, instead of partying with friends I looked after my child, but I never complained or spoke like that, even in front of myself. The first months are the sweetest with the baby. It's normal for him to cry like that all day, he clearly feels the negativity and the fact that his mother is really nervous, and from what she wrote I even doubt that she loves him. Where in the world is every second mother complaining about how annoying it is to look after a child, it's a shame. Since you didn't want to be a mother at all, why did you look like him, there is nothing more important than peace in this life. I don't understand at all how she found time to complain here, she had better take a bath.
Number 39 and I go to dances and a hairdresser because I'm not a manicurist, but my husband or mother, when he comes, keeps the child for 1-2 hours twice a week. I asked how this happens when your husband does not help you and does not deal with him and when you are alone in a foreign city? With a little help, anyone can!