Hello! I have a girlfriend of 2 years. Our whole relationship is filled with problems like intimacy and old past things. Mostly children's things like picking and tearing. When we last left, things were going well until the problem of intimacy between us started. She didn't do it and she's a year younger than me. I procrastinated this thing for a long time ... There is no definite reason why and how ... We spent a year and the problems like why you don't want to be with me started. And I didn't have a formulated answer to answer her and I didn't want to talk about it (I loved her and wanted to be with her) but something was pushing me. From nerves or fear I do not know over time a gap and tension is formed between us. It got colder has nothing to do with the girl I fell in love with. We just talk about the past, we connect it to the present, and we constantly argue and talk about it. From this tension between us, I feel that both she and I cannot relax. And when we try to do something on my part, it gets stuck. And we always rely on the fact that I had no desire, that I was going to relax with another, and so we get nowhere. And that guides our attitude towards each other. I don't want it to be a loss, I realize everything clearly. But I just don't know where to start. Is the relationship already exhausted through my fault and if we are intimate will things change? I don't know ... It's just not the girl I wanted to be the change with and she's radical. She is always right, she sticks to what she wants, even if at times she overdoes it and sees that she is wrong. I just put up with just not arguing that it's getting scary ... I just don't know
Answers 2
She acts like an energy vampire. This usually happens as a side effect of the projection of one of the partners. When your partner (in this case your girlfriend) projects on you a past relationship with one of your previous partners and actually sees him in you (but you can't be him), at some point reality knocks on your door and irritates. In these cases, the whole world becomes the culprit of the partner and he begins to hate and try to crush the partner on which he has designed so far and did not meet his expectations. You can talk about it, but hardly anything will change. Most likely there will be a scandal and no real improvements. She just doesn't want you, she wants the idea. You can only help her by breaking up with her and sending her away with this idea she is in love with.
I'm very confused, even after 3 readings ... At first it seems that the problem is that she didn't do it, and you waited a year for it to be ready or something. Then you say that problems like "why don't you want to be with me?" Have started, but what YOU didn't have an answer to, so now the problem is that she thinks you don't want to be with her and you don't have a formulated answer and you don't want to talk about "this." What "this"? That you don't do it and it's a problem for you, but you don't want to tell her because you love her and you want to be together or for her or something else ...? Then you say that the tension in the relationship with YOU is intercepted and you had no desire. Now it's a problem for her that you don't seem to do it ... Then she is no longer the girl you fell in love with and wanted to be with, which is a problem for you ... In general, tell who has a problem with what, so that she can decide and we can help ... If she is not ready / does not want to have sex, decide whether you are ready to wait or not. If you have jams, talk and clear the tension, let it relax you and little by little with a calming atmosphere, a free environment without tension, guilt or stress with a smile, encouraging, encouraging words and actions to come to your senses. If it's not the person you want to break up with. That's it. P. S. And start writing SAD more clearly If it's not the person you want to break up with. That's it. P. S. And start writing SAD more clearly If it's not the person you want to break up with. That's it. P. S. And start writing SAD more clearly