I am a woman of almost 26 years. The situation is as follows. I love, respect and am infinitely grateful to my parents for raising, educating, studying and always supporting me. But I think I have a problem with my mother. He tries to give me advice, which, however, seems to him to impose his opinion. First was what to learn. I secretly enrolled in another specialty and wants to reconcile. Then, seeing that my studies were going well and I was good in this field, he calmed down and things went well. Yes, but it's time for work. As a student, I worked part-time in the bookstore of some relatives. After graduating, I decided to look for a job in the specialty. In general, I have two options - office and home, but the work done from home attracts me a lot more and it is close to my heart. It is interesting for me to be involved in this activity and this is my biggest wish. I didn't say I would do this my whole life. I want to try for a start. But no, according to her, I should have started immediately in an office, in a company, it was more prestigious, there were more people there or I had to go abroad. It's the same in my personal life. She constantly gives me advice, but in an edifying tone, as if what she said should happen. I tried to talk to her and explain. But she treats me like I'm 16, not 26. I just thought we got along, and one day it starts all over again. My father is more liberal and doesn't bother me so much, he tries to talk to her, but who listens to him. When I try to tell her that she is bothering me a lot, she gets angry. She's my mother, so I have to consult with her about everything. That's what she thinks. Yes, but I advise what I deem necessary. I do not want to come to such situations at all and I am very uncomfortable writing such a topic. But I want advice on how to get along with her without offending me, getting angry and staying on good terms.
Answers 12
There is no way it can happen without being angry and insulting someone who is the most elementary manipulation, so that in the end what SHE wants happens, instead of what YOU want and makes you happy. Our parents raised us and we are grateful and respectful to them, but that does not mean that we should let them interfere with us later so that THEY can be happy. Respect does not mean obedience at the expense of your own happiness and the right to personal choice. If you do not set boundaries, in time you will find a man and harass him by an old mother-in-law, which is horrible and costly. I know a man with such a mother-in-law - when he mentions his wife he does not call her by name or "my wife", but "the mother of the little one". He says he would be divorced in a second if it weren't for the child. Every woman deserves to love and be loved, not to allow her mother to constantly interfere in her relationships. Your mother has a husband to deal with. I advise you to tell her to stop the behavior when a situation arises that you are not OK with. If she doesn't, you get mad at her - don't pick her up, leave the room, don't open the door for her. In other words - with her stones on her head. After all, she is not interested in what YOU want, but what SHE wants. If she is well-meaning, she will understand and comply. If not, you better limit contact. Such people are toxic and they crush. My mother treats me like an adult and wants me to be happy, to go home and spend time with my husband, to honor or do something for myself. I call her about once a month to hear what they do and our conversations are more about psychology, philosophy, literature, interesting life events, than to tell me what to do - she's done her job as a parent, she's worried, but she knows she'll do it, and all she wants is to be happy. This is a mother who wants the best for you, not for herself. Do you see the difference?
Hello, a person with a similar case writes to you. For me, the problem is my mother, and now my mother-in-law. they both only give reason, but because I am not silent to them, they both think that I am evil and cursed and uncommunicative. You are 26 years old. You no longer need to live with your parents (if you still live there). I moved out of us at 23 and live in an apartment with 5 other people. I can just afford it that way. Ours was firmly against, but ... There is one BUT - you and I are not 2. Our mothers do not breastfeed us. At this age we already have clear views. So stomp your foot (but culturally) if there is drama, talk to your father first, if he is the more adequate of the two. Tell him to trace the place before you serve her what you think. Fact makes him out of good feelings, but we no longer live in the time when things followed a certain order - you are born, you study, you marry, you give birth. Now life passes and is carried away quickly and it is up to you how it will go. smart! keep your head up. if it is very difficult, offer and or directly take her to psychotherapy for couples. you will be surprised how much it helps when there is a buffer between you - basically your father, but even better someone who does not judge you, but only listens to Luck!
It's simple. Once you work, get out of the house and no one will interfere. If you decide to stay - take your share of the costs. Also - minimize the information to it. She interferes with you, but let's just say that before that you sang everything in front of mom. Leave money, keep your mouth shut and let's see how and in what it will interfere. But the best option is really to live on your own.
I agree with your mother about the job. 26 is not 16, but it is not 36. You are too young to work from home. Now is the time to make the contacts you will need in the future. Otherwise, obviously your mother is convinced not by words, but by deeds. If he sees that you are doing well, at least he will stop advising you about it.
"Yes, but I consult what I deem necessary. I do not want such situations to occur at all and I am very uncomfortable writing such a topic. But I want advice on how to get along with it without offending, angry and to stay on good terms. "- Both big and p ...!? You are 26 years old and you are still with mom and dad. Instead of giving advice now, you still need it, you even want strangers. This shows that you are not yet ripe for independent living, so your mother reacts this way. Prove to her that you are a mature woman and she will stop giving advice!
You can not! He doesn't make faces. I'll explain why you can't get along with her. Your grandparents raised her the way they were raised. She subconsciously knows that this is right and it should be. If you are just a child of mom and dad, it is even more difficult to show that you have grown up. She carried you to her heart for 9 months. You are made with love. An awful lot of worry and trembling over you. And at some point to make difficult decisions alone? !! She may deny it, but subconsciously she trembles for you. It's harder for you to understand now, but one day you will become a mother and you will understand yours. She will not stop interfering and interfering in your decisions. But to some extent I agree with her about homework. You are not small at all. You do not need small amounts of this work. She doesn't want you to isolate yourself at home. You have to take your own path and start your own family. To enjoy grandchildren, etc. There are many women who close themselves at home and when they turn 50-60 they are looking to start a family. My wife gave birth at the age of 34. She was also a prisoner in her quarters. I returned it with difficulty to the people. Hence the problems of old age and pregnancy. After 33 there is a higher percentage of complications in pregnancy. The child has a higher rate of Down syndrome. Read about it. Do not hide at home, but listen to your mother. She is the person who would give you her heart if necessary. These are normal actions on her part. With difficulty I returned it to the people. Hence the problems of old age and pregnancy. After 33 there is a higher percentage of complications in pregnancy. The child has a higher rate of Down syndrome. Read about it. Do not hide at home, but listen to your mother. She is the person who would give you her heart if necessary. These are normal actions on her part. With difficulty I returned it to the people. Hence the problems of old age and pregnancy. After 33 there is a higher percentage of complications in pregnancy. The child has a higher rate of Down syndrome. Read about it. Do not hide at home, but listen to your mother. She is the person who would give you her heart if necessary. These are normal actions on her part.
What is this activity that is done from home? I guess you are not the only one in Bulgaria who performs this activity so that you do not dare to say what it is. When we know what it is about, then maybe we will give you some advice. It also matters where you live. If you are from a small town, your mother may think that you will be more successful in the big city. What is your specialty that you can do this job from home. And lastly, you're 26, a university scholar, and you don't know what to do with your mother. Here, hardly all visitors are more learned than you. Give a little more information if you really want advice.
Just leave them, live alone and they will have no control over you. You will communicate when you miss each other and so on. Don't feel bad about that thought. Your peace of mind and your personal enjoyment of life are more important than your parents' opinion, however, you do not want something bad. Just leave them, it's not scary that there aren't many in your life, the same goes for people who don't understand you, but aren't your relatives, to be on the sidelines. The concern is one, but the desire to control shows things that I will not say, they are your parents ... But you are YOU, life is yours.
Don't let your mother do it. It will cause you a lot of problems in the future. I say from experience - the mother of my ex-girlfriend separated us. M24
And what are you going to do with them at 26. You say that you are already working ... won't you take some accommodation or a loan for your own home? It seems from your story that you don't have siblings, that's why she's staring at you so much. If you were 2-3, she would have missed your spades a long time ago. Grab a boyfriend, go out to a hostel, or look for a more lucrative job, but get out of there! You say, "But she treats me like I'm 16, not 26." Well, how to behave, since with your life behavior you behave like a 16-year-old girl and not like a 26-year-old woman with a job? Get out of there!
You're very confused about the job, 4. The earlier you start freelance, the better. The contact person is able to make contacts in general, he does not need offices-mofs, and even there a person is zombie with time. Soc has really brainwashed most Bulgarians. Author, STOP reporting to your mother and go out with some friends as soon as possible. This is g.31
Aren't you in a hurry with your conclusions? Have you ever wondered why your mother really treats you like that? Just take matters into your own hands. If you do not believe in yourself, no one will believe. You are obviously insecure and when you do not get the answer you want, you get angry and nervous that your mother does not agree. If you want something real, you don't need an opinion.