Hello. I'm a girl, 20 if age matters. I will start from the fact that my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years, the last year we lived together. In general, we are quite different as characters, but we have very close points of view on important things. I am calmer, prone to compromise in the name of the common good, very emotional. And he is straightforward, hot-tempered, he wants everything at once and always to be his. Despite these differences, so far we have always found a way to understand each other, when his friends turned their backs on him, only I stayed with him, and vice versa. We had mutual support for anything. We parted 3-4 times during those years for 1 week, the reasons being either his thirst for freedom or another girl. However, 1 week ago, after 2-3 days of withdrawal, he served me, that he wants me to go to us and not live together for a while. We haven't quarreled, he hasn't shown anything before that he intends to make such a decision. It came to me like thunder from a clear sky. I was terribly confused, I wanted an explanation why he decided it, what are my merits, where did I go? His job said, I just felt like I was kicked out. And probably 1 month before that he explained to me how much he loves me, how I am his girlfriend, how he is afraid that one day I may decide to leave him and such things that I cried with joy while listening. I left anyway, I had no choice. He told me that we would be together again, we just wouldn't live under one roof. Since then, neither I nor I have sought him. I work in the neighborhood and come there 2-3 times, but nothing. We tell each other 2-3 general stories and that's it. It's weird and I really don't know how to react. I gave him what he wanted, and now I don't know what to do. I'm not good without it, but I don't want to push myself where I'm not wanted in plain text. And from my friend. As far as I know, this time there is no other, but what could be the reason for him suddenly not wanting to live together after we were so good?
Answers 20
Darling, what are you complaining about, but he's tired and wants something new and different. Rejoice that you did not give birth to a child and then decide that he wants something new and different :) You better take matters into your own hands and meet a serious and stable man who will not only want you at home, but also I WILL NOT WANT TO DIVIDE YOU. This one forgot it, don't go back! Picking up an old relationship is like stepping on unfrozen lava; it will always crack and you will burn! He had enough chance, he proved to you more than once that he was not serious, what are you waiting for? Success! M35
"As far as I know, this time there is no other" I bet there is another, or your Romeo has changed the thread.
Well, what can I tell you, when a man or a woman asks for such a thing, 99% have another person involved. It's just that such people are cunning enough and wait for the job to become 100% safe and only then to officially dump their partner. As a man, I tell you, for me he has another, especially since, as you wrote, it has happened to him before. It will hurt you for a while, but you better look for a boy who will respect and appreciate you, but not just talk. He treated you very badly, acting like the lowest k *** a. It is very likely that he will just have fun with someone now and after 1-2 months, when he gets tired, he will come back to you with the duty officer "I realized that you are the woman of my life". Such people have no fix, the only thing they are looking for is a meek partner who will tolerate their numbers, and they will shout as and when they want.
I think the reason is different. If you haven't had any problems ... and if he's suddenly started talking lately, how scared he is that he won't lose you ... well, that's exactly why he said it. he was confused, probably because of the presence of another girl. Just don't act unhappy in front of him. On the contrary, smile, behave mysteriously, as if you have a happy secret. when he comes, pretend that you are sending an SMS with a dreamy smile, but quickly, hurriedly, as if not "catching" you. If he asks ... smile and say, aaa, the same thing with me, looking away. make it look like you're lying. That someone has, someone who makes you smile. He may wish to win you over again, in which case he should not jump at once, let him fight, let him know for another time that there is much more behind him. If not, at least with your head held high you will continue your life, and he will be left with the question: how long has he been waiting for "him" to get to my girl. In any case, look at life positively, smile and you will be answered with the same.
There was something like your friend, but I realized in time. He has not made a living. You left too young, during this time he may not have had (many) opportunities to sleep with others (you may be his only one in bed), he feels as if he missed something and wants to catch up. Apparently he has decided from time to time to invite a girl to their house or he has decided to delicately lose you. I think he loves you, but the hormone has hit him too hard and that definitely puts you in a difficult position. But until he makes a living and sleeps with a few others, he will still behave, because his instincts dictate. However, this gain is incompatible with your good relationship, because even if you do not mind him having sex with others, it will definitely affect your relationship, because you will always be a comparison with others. So I think
Drop it and LIVE, live, live. Enjoy your youth and freedom! Don't expect anything decent from this person in the future either ....
There were others and you didn't dump it ?! Well, once you get here and there are no others, maybe the reason is in it. Maybe he wants his freedom for some reason.
You have been very patient ... It seems that you are the only one who is inclined to compromise in the relationship that you have made so many. I don't blame you because I'm the same fool. But, dear girl, you have endured too much infidelity. Your friend, in your words, seems a frivolous and fickle person. You say yourself that his words have lifted you to the seventh heaven of happiness, and only a month later he serves you this ... He can't keep you on thorns all your life and become a victim of his changing desires - I want you, come ; come on get out now that I don't want you. I would not go back, nor would I forgive the betrayal of another woman, because he obviously has not learned a lesson from his past mistakes. I do not like empty words without any weight, because I myself do not allow myself to play with people like that. :)
How do you know he doesn't like another girl? He wanted freedom, you broke up for other girls. This time not to think that he goes secretly to visit the Martians ??? You were still a child when you went with him. I don't think you know how to deal with those who don't deserve to be loved. Accept it as a new beginning in your life and cross it out forever. And I think you're small for a serious relationship. Start living your life without him. I give you a 100% guarantee that it is not worth it.
He must have a mistress, I just don't know what else it could be. Talk to him, try to understand why he's behaving like that. Don't neglect your long-term relationship!
Honey, if this man loved you as much as you loved him, he wouldn't take you for granted. To accept that whatever he does, with whatever he does, you will return to him and forgive him after he explains himself to you in love. Have a little self-esteem. Find a man for whom you will be enough and will not need to look for another to diversify. This is my advice, I hope to be useful.
You remind me of a friend who, in addition to everything you listed, was the same age and had an abortion behind her. He took his partakeshi and went to work as a babysitter in England. There she improved her English and found a good job and a husband. Good luck
Men sometimes say - what our women want to hear. But we don't think for sure. The word I love you - is said very easily. Another option is that after a certain time it suits you to live with someone for a long time. No reason - just because you spend a lot of time together, everyone needs a little personal space. When you get there, you want, man, people not to be with you that long - after a while, you start to miss them again. If it's so good to retire, go to your parents for a while. But it is possible to have another and prepare the soil.
I will speak to you as a person who has already gone this way. No, you were not well. The very fact that you've been apart a few times before - okay, you're still small, but when I read that there was another girl the last time things became clear. Why did you return to him back then after running on other women's skirts? You have become comfortable, who will play when he wants to and why did you think when you returned to him that things with the other girls who appear will not happen again? Apparently the person is already looking for something else, even if he is not dealing with one, there is no way to know at all, he may be hiding well, you may be the last to understand. He is playing you at the moment and I think he is keeping you aside, but still as a reserve, if things don't work out for him with the other one. Maybe he had nothing to do with her, just trying to win her over or something. You have become uninteresting to him, the thrill has been lost, because when he tells you to get together, you agree, by telling you to move in with them again, by telling you to wait, you wait, but when do you do something to yourself you are advantageous I do not see. When you think about yourself and why you value yourself so low, it's as if you don't deserve something better and someone to treat you like a princess. I advise you to surprise him this time - make your claims to him and defend them, and not just listen to what he has to say and ask him. By being frivolous, he is on the right track. You are currently at the age when you have the time and environment to have fun and go out with friends, and to meet the right person for you. In this situation, with your current boyfriend, you can wander the axis for many years and waste your time, however, the result if you continue to give in to him will be the same - separation. You decide, but I don't think your man is a commodity. Not to mention how humiliating it is to be thrown out of his house like a dirty kitten, like a useless thing. Do you agree with all this?
I don't know, darling! These men are strange creatures and I went through something like that, but then we clarified and got together again, but I never understood what exactly had gone wrong, but the important thing is that it worked out. I hope things get better with you too. Success!
He probably doesn't have feelings for you anymore. Keep going. Don't deal with it. 4 years is a long time, but you are small. Everything passes with time. I say it from experience. I had a 7 year relationship that I ended. It's painful, but it passes. Live your life - you will meet someone who deserves you.
When someone leaves, a better one will come! This one can't even be called good, it's not a commodity, as everyone unanimously says!
Apparently he is not your man, leave him and look for a new friend who will appreciate you as a man. Write how the story unfolded. XII
The best thing you can do for yourself is to cut off all contact with him. No phones, no Skypes, no meetings ... nothing. He may even start looking for you and annoying you at first, but don't give up. Relationships don't come to me, come to me. Once he has dared to literally kick you out of his life, there is no point in new chances. Head up and just forward and not him;) Doriana
I agree with number 6