Hello, I am a 23-year-old girl. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, but we have a problem. The thing is that at the beginning of our relationship he insisted on having sex and I agreed mostly out of fear of breaking up. I thought it wouldn't weigh on me like that ... Years later, I somehow have the feeling that I can no longer have any pleasure from having sex. I do it so that he doesn't get angry with me, because if I refuse him, he immediately becomes nervous and keeps cold to me. Somehow I do everything out of necessity. But I can't stand it. I try to talk to him about how I need to not feel like an obligation and that when I feel the cold between us, when I refuse him, I don't have sex with him anymore. We do it at least 3 times a week, but it is never enough. I love him, but I don't know what to do anymore. When I try to explain to him what the problem is, he says that with these conversations he is just reluctant and I am guilty of not meeting his expectations. But I can't say that I can't feel anything anymore, because that means ruining my relationship with him. I don't know what to do even if we do it or not, I do it for him anyway ... I don't know if I could ever experience anything with this man again. But somehow I can't let him go. Please give me advice, I do not know how to act we have talked thousands of times I do not know how to act, how to save this relationship. We've been together for so long that I don't know what it would be like if we broke up, but I feel like he's not happy either. because that means ruining my relationship with him. I don't know what to do even if we do it or not, I do it for him anyway ... I don't know if I could ever experience anything with this man again. But somehow I can't let him go. Please give me advice, I do not know how to act we have talked thousands of times I do not know how to act, how to save this relationship. We've been together for so long that I don't know what it would be like if we broke up, but I feel like he's not happy either. because that means ruining my relationship with him. I don't know what to do even if we do it or not, I do it for him anyway ... I don't know if I could ever experience anything with this man again. But somehow I can't let him go. Please give me advice, I do not know how to act we have talked thousands of times I do not know how to act, how to save this relationship. We've been together for so long that I don't know what it would be like if we broke up, but I feel like he's not happy either.
Answers 7
Horror, you have a terribly low libido. You are dissatisfied and he is dissatisfied. Let this man find a woman who really wants him and will love him.
Hello! Do you have a normal foreplay before the act itself? Is he committed enough to satisfy you or is he just satisfying his urge to end? I don't know how you tolerate and have sex with this person at all, when you don't want him? It's torture for me, I can't even get aroused. Talk to him to change your approach to each other, not to stop having sex.
I think he's with you just for that (I guess). Have a serious conversation, you don't have to do it when he wants to, after all, your body is yours. If he doesn't want to talk, it's better to break up, because that's probably why he's with you when he does these things.
You can't live like this forever. Sooner or later you will separate. The earlier the better.
If you can't enjoy sex with him, why don't you break up. And when you started the relationship 7 years ago, was it fun? If you had pleasure then and not now, it shows that the reason for the lack of it is in you. You are certainly very complex so that after seven years you will not be able to experience it.
From the author - Yes, in the beginning I felt pleasure naturally until the moment when I started to feel it as an obligation. I don't think it's a problem in the complexes. It's just my first love and I can't say we haven't had a good time, but this part of our relationship is driving me crazy. And yes more focused on your own needs is .. Thank you
I was in the same situation ... I know you can't imagine breaking up, it will be hard for you, but believe me one day you will be much happier ... The man I was with was rarely content with sex alone once a day, and it came to me more and I accepted it as an obligation, and no matter what he did, I did not feel pleasure. He had already told me that I had a problem with that. Well, we broke up and I met a man I wanted to have sex with, sometimes even more often than him. And I have no problem, the problem is the person you are with now, and if you do not feel happy, the most normal thing is to separate and find other people who fit your nature better. Success and courage.