Everything is very confused, I will try to start again: A chance meeting after many years with my first love, and the first man in my life, We exchanged phones, emails and started some endless conversations, messages and so on for almost a year. We are both married with two children, but it was not a problem to communicate, we discussed everything, we became very close even before. We also became intimate, we saw each other when we both had the opportunity to do it. So far, everything is perfect, so 5 years have passed without anyone noticing us. But I began to wake up from a dream: I caught him repeatedly lying to me about small things, about more important things, other women appeared, as if they were just friends. I began to suspect and be jealous of him, which is absurd given that he is not my husband, but just a friend and close person I can count on. Confidence in him disappeared, I started to pull the tape back and I was horrified. Was it just entertainment for him and raising his male ego, one of many He has never given me anything before, never even small things like a flower, a stupid cup or anything, soap if you will. For my part, however, he was not forgotten on any birthday, Christmas or name day, and the gifts were not small, on the contrary. "together" we are already 6 years old, I recently had an anniversary and the only thing was a phone call! And he is a man with good financial opportunities. So I ask mostly gentlemen, do you think this man loves me, or am I just comfortable with him, does he really care about me and can i still trust him? I am very confused how you both love someone and do nothing to make them happy and show a special attitude?
Answers 5
You are cheating on your husband with a man who used you in the past and uses you now. Sooner or later your husband will understand and a divorce awaits you. Falling in love is like an hourglass filling your heart emptying your head and over time the result is terrible.
You should know that you are not the center of this man's life. There may be his job, hobby, car, children, friends or even his wife. This is how men are arranged. And that automatically makes you one of many. You should realize and accept this. As for the gifts - it depends on the person. I don't think it's even a matter of financial means. There are people who take pleasure in giving away anything - a stupid cup or soap, God forbid that sounds like a hint of impurity! There are also those for whom choosing a gift is a burden. In any case, however, I do not understand why you make gifts when he does not. Yes, you can do it once and if you don't get a gift from him on your next occasion, just stop. I emphasize again that it is not a question of the material side of things, but of the attitude. It's weird, that he accepts your gifts and does not return your gesture. He may be such a person, but you liked him that way. And let me ask you - what if there are other women? Isn't he your husband, don't you have a common home, children, business and a bank account? !! If for you he is the only one, except your husband, for him you may not be - you give him one; the other gives him another; the third - the third. It's normal. Either you have to realize that you're just a part of this man's life and continue your relationship with him only in that part of you, or you have to end that relationship, and I don't advise you about the latter, because it will very heavy. Reconcile and contact him within your perimeter and according to his rules - without gifts and without oaths of allegiance. The fact that he shares his life with other people - men or women - does not make him insincere to you. Try to keep your place there, to make sure that if you decide to leave, this very place will remain empty. The other is obsession, which is nasty for both parties. And in the specific situation it is illogical.
"... does this man love me, or am I just comfortable with him ..." WTF? !! What kind of question? First, your relationship is built entirely on lies, infidelity and instinct. I don't know and I don't care what your and his reasons are for cheating, but how do you expect a relationship born of a lie to have a happy ending? Of course he doesn't love you. If he loved you, I assure you, things would have turned out radically differently. How did you even think of that?
I recently read the site and I always come across such confessions where the woman liked someone and they started an affair and then regretted it. Well, don't start it. Women are mistaken creatures. Only various polygamous men fall in love. Obviously I have to start cheating too, because otherwise mine will cheat on me. I will make 3 illegitimate children hey!
The author decided to write a sequel to the story. We are already separated and now I am much lighter and calmer. My only regret is that I spent so much time on someone who doesn't deserve it at all. I feel furious with myself, for my stupidity, naivety and recklessness. I'm convinced that things happen to you that only you allow. And I allowed myself to be used and then abandoned and hurt. I can't forgive myself for letting someone so close to me, he was the closest person to me, swearing by his love and what happened: (((the same one gave up on me for one night. Now rereading your comments, I understand your words and I see how right you were. Things on the side look the right way. THANK YOU