I Don't Love My Daughter

   Hahaha calm down, she doesn't need your love anymore. She will study, she will find a job, a man, she will have children. And you will be abandoned by everyone, because only a person who does not love his child deserves it. I hope she doesn't repeat your mistake and give all her love to her children. You will grow old and need her, but then she will not love you and you will rot in a nursing home. Congratulations!

   You love her, but you are disappointed. If you didn't love her, you wouldn't take care of her and help her. The bad thing is that the pickle doesn't appreciate him and behaves disrespectfully towards you

   She must have just cooled off because of her demeanor, but you love her inwardly. Talk, get closer again. Motherly love does not die.

   Happens.

   It is not pleasant for a mother not to love her child. I'm a boy of 20 and I understand what's wrong with you, ma'am. Even if she is rude, you are a mother and she is the most precious thing for you. Whatever it is, love her and don't avoid her.

   There are such mothers. But be sure that she feels it and most likely behaves that way. You don't say if you have another child besides her. But it's not that important because it doesn't change things. However, you accumulate a lot of bad karma.

   So, if the story is true (or not written by the daughter, which is more likely): You gave birth at 19, obviously you were not prepared for a child and 1) you failed to raise her properly (too young mother) and 2) there is no way not to feel that with this early birth you have almost wasted your youth and hence your lack of love for "the one who took away your youth" (figuratively speaking). And I think these two things are mutual causes and mutual consequences, that is, they are closely related. And if it is written by the daughter: maybe this will answer some questions :) Not too late to rethink both your attitude to each other? I think it's for your own good. Naughty Bear

   It is not your feelings that are the result of your daughter's behavior, but her behavior that is the result of your lack of love. She probably found out a long time ago that you don't love her and has also cooled down to you. It is best for the two to free each other and stop contacting each other.

   Treat yourself dear, this is not normal ...!

   You have lost the thread that connects you! I wish you to find it again! Look for ways, because love is the only thing in the world that is not lost anywhere, but simply changes its appearance! I wish you patience, desire for change and a lot of love!

   1, do you feel very unloved?

   my case is like yours, only when I ask myself if I love her, I answer yes, but the relationship between us is not going well, we are obviously different in our thinking, and I just resigned myself ... I am sad in myself, but I respect her opinion and I say to myself that this is life, that is, the difference between the generations has its say ... I would advise you to comply with it, but also to think about yourself, to look for contacts in your circle of friends, and to you accept her as she is, to love her no matter what she is ... and she will one day fly away from you and you will be left alone ... that is, but still she is the closest person to you, your flesh and blood ... sometimes I need to talk to someone about it, to make it easier for me and I would be happy to exchange a few words with you, but the rules of the site do not allow this ... so, such things, I wish you health ....

   I think that in the situation in which today's parent is placed (whether it is a woman or a man) it is completely normal at some point to turn on some protective mechanism and start thinking a little about your nerves. The world is flawed. Children are victims of all sorts of temptations in today's life. The very decision to have a child nowadays is a bit suicidal. If you do not go crazy, you will certainly grow old along with the upbringing of a child, especially if he finds himself in a bad environment / company. And you can't control that. For me, the solution to the problem is to constantly think and adjust that the child is a separate individual, who after the age of 18 becomes an independent individual. We Bulgarians look after our children even after they become parents themselves. It becomes a funny picture, like in the ad "Jorko, are you sleeping mom?".

   You think so because you're angry, you're tired. But in time you'll see that you weren't right.

   I sympathize with you! It is not true that you do not love your daughter. You love her, but you're hurt. No matter how rude she behaves, you will love her and you will suffer. This is the mother's heart. Those who write that she can do without you, etc. they have not been or have not yet become mothers. Yes, she can physically live without you, but no one loves her more than you. No one would sacrifice their life if it was necessary for her, but you will do the same. Your mouth says one thing, but you know very well that your heart says another. That's why you share. If it didn't hurt, you would just live your life. But you can't. because it hurts. I hope those who reproach you will never experience what you feel because you are hurt ... There is hardly more pain than that, except the death of a loved one. I don't know why we become so heartless and attack the suffering like hyenas. I hope you have the strength to experience your grief. Dano. I hope she understands how much you love her. She can never give you back what you did for her, but she can give you a drop of filial love. Dano!

   14. You described it very accurately. I'm not a parent, but I was a child of course :) and everything you wrote is true. Regarding the topic that finally developed (unintentionally probably) for the care of children by parents after 18 years of age - I think if our Bulgarian children took 3-4 000 euros per month, do not think that one of them will stay with you after coming of age? Do not mix or confuse things ... one (a parent should always help his child) and the other (an adult man or woman with a satisfactory income to live with you). First they made us hate each other as a nation, now they have spoiled family love in your heads?

   Hello again, I wrote the first post, which I am not proud of. Thanks for the answers and time. Everything was useful to me, except for the post of the first commentator, who openly insulted me. Because, I really care about her, for 21 years I don't understand what the demes mean "Hahaha calm down, she doesn't need your love anymore. She will study, she will find a job", and how exactly she will study if I don't pay for her education and I do not provide her with a life in which she can study peacefully, and not at the moment to have to work on something to support herself. In the 14th post there was a good statement that children are looked after until they are 18 years old, but my heart does not allow me to do so. And at №13 I sympathize and understand from the bottom of my heart, and obviously I'm quite affected myself, I didn't express myself properly, I love her somehow, but, in my opinion, not enough. Someone asks if I have other children - I don't. How can I explain it to you more clearly, I can't be friends with my child. The families around me are very close to their children, and I am not. As long as I know that she is well, healthy, fed, calm ... and from then on I do not share with her at all, I do not listen to her, etc. Her way of thinking irritates me, as well as her flying high , as well as its expression, the eternal muttering or shouting. And ... the medal for the WORST MOTHER ... I win !!!

   Number one, what about clairvoyant outbursts? The woman is tormented by this feeling and tells us about it, and you started guessing on a glass ball. Author, nowadays young people are really headstrong and rebellious, but the time will come for them to pay. Here, you give kindly and gladly to have everything - to be dressed, fed, to be taught, "to become a man", and she responds to you with coldness and posture. Someone still has to break this vicious circle, to love the parent as he is, not to look for his weaknesses in order to point them out. But this generation is too soft and uncharacteristic to love and respect their parents heroically - without pretensions, without requirements - just to love them.

   Has it always been this dislike or is your attitude towards it the result of arguments, ugly words on her part and attitude, disrespect and disrespect for you as a parent, the fact that you are radically different as understandings of life and have no common ground? ... If you raised her alone without a father and put all your attention on her and dedicated your life to her, and she doesn't appreciate it and insults and hurts you in some way .... I think everything has a reason and did not come by itself. ж45

   I think she's angry because she senses your disregard. She may be fed, clothed, etc., but she does not feel love and concern, and from there she has become so. I have such a case in front of me with a friend whose mother did not pay much attention to her and this made her angry. Whenever he sees his mother, he starts to get nervous, hot-tempered and quarrel, otherwise he is a very good and radiant person. Children are very sensitive and feel their parents' mood towards them. I don't know why it happened to you, maybe she was an unwanted child, and nothing was said about the father. If you are abandoned by him, it may make you angry and not love your child. Hatred of the father is projected onto the child. And my friend's mother is like you - she doesn't care about anything but her life and she just doesn't know how much she hurt her and her sister with that behavior. It hurts the most to realize that the person who should love you the most and unconditionally - your own mother, is not interested in you. From there, you begin to think that no one else would love you, and you become more complex and introverted. Or you come across people who treat you badly to prove to you that you don't deserve love. I'm sorry, ma'am, that you don't realize what injuries you have inflicted on your daughter and how they will affect her over time. But you don't seem to care, and it's really better for people like you not to become parents. It is good that you have given birth to only one child, so at least you will ruin one life less. that the person who should love you the most and unreservedly - your own mother, is not interested in you. From there, you begin to think that no one else would love you, and you become more complex and introverted. Or you come across people who treat you badly to prove to you that you don't deserve love. I'm sorry, ma'am, that you don't realize what injuries you have inflicted on your daughter and how they will affect her over time. But you don't seem to care, and it's really better for people like you not to become parents. It is good that you have given birth to only one child, so at least you will ruin one life less. that the person who should love you the most and unreservedly - your own mother, is not interested in you. From there, you begin to think that no one else would love you, and you become more complex and introverted. Or you come across people who treat you badly to prove to you that you don't deserve love. I'm sorry, ma'am, that you don't realize what injuries you have inflicted on your daughter and how they will affect her over time. But you don't seem to care, and it's really better for people like you not to become parents. It is good that you have given birth to only one child, so at least you will ruin one life less. I'm sorry, ma'am, that you don't realize what injuries you have inflicted on your daughter and how they will affect her over time. But you don't seem to care, and it's really better for people like you not to become parents. It is good that you have given birth to only one child, so at least you will ruin one life less. I'm sorry, ma'am, that you don't realize what injuries you have inflicted on your daughter and how they will affect her over time. But you don't seem to care, and it's really better for people like you not to become parents. It is good that you have given birth to only one child, so at least you will ruin one life less.

   I don't think you don't love her! I know ... I'm only 12 and I can't help it, but I have a mother too! Very often I treat her the same way as your daughter, with you, but I sincerely love her and I always regret the way I treat her! I guess you love her, but it's just a moment of coolness between you. I am even sure that there is some love between you because: 1. You gave birth to her! 2. You didn't leave her in an orphanage! 3. You breastfed her! 4. When she gets sick, you take her to the doctor and worry about her! 5. You take care of her for 21 years! 6. You helped her when she was in a difficult situation! I don't think you don't love her! Just when she is at home, sit next to her and take some time to talk about her problems ... how was her day !!! ......... As a daughter I know that a child needs to feel motherly love, no matter what age it is! I think that just 21 years old is perfectly normal for her to behave like that! I hope it helps in some way and you understand how great a treasure it is for you! Hope you fix your problems as soon as possible! Good luck! :)

   I do not very much agree with the answer to number 1. Even at 50, everyone needs love. But do not think that you are guilty because you have fulfilled your duty to your child! You shouldn't blame yourself, after all, she's already independent and I think she loves you even if she doesn't show it. Every character is different! I always argue with my mother about insignificant things and I repeat that she doesn't understand me but it's not like that and I often tell her that I don't love her but I don't really gossip for 5 minutes and I apologize so I think you shouldn't blame yourself and no you don't need a psychologist ... Normally there are misunderstandings between mother and daughter in all of them I'm sure!

   In my opinion, in order to write here, you love her very much. Otherwise, why bother? I guess the problem is she doesn't deserve it and she hurt you. I can't draw conclusions, but isn't the question that bothers you rather the following - "I love her so much and I do everything for her, and she behaves like that" You say, I'm just guessing ... Sincerely

   Hello! I want to express my opinion on the matter. You love your daughter, do everything for her and take care of her unconditionally for 21 years. I do not want to rebuke or advise you unnecessarily. You say that the way of thinking and expressing irritates you, her muttering, etc. Madam, you are only 40 years old, still young and should be a modern woman. Try to get into her skin, or just understand her. Listen to what she is saying, consider her reasoning. We are all different, we cannot think alike, we cannot express ourselves alike. I am a mother, like you, they have irritated me a lot and my children continue to irritate me sometimes, but remembering that I was the same at their age. I ask you, if someone does not want to listen to you, if he shows obvious disregard for your thinking and shows that you are irritating him, how will you react, and you love this man. There is an old saying "whatever called, called." And so it is with you, slamming doors and rude behavior says - "you do not want to listen to me, I turn my back on you", you try to impose your thinking on me, I slam your door. And in friendship it is so, everything is sharing. You share, she shares, everything that weighs on you. You can do this, if she doesn't share, start telling her about yourself, about your problems, so that you can get closer. It's big, it's going to be hard, but better late than never. Try and be persistent, this is your child who loves you, despite his behavior. The key is in you, and you are looking for it. Success! than ever. Try and be persistent, this is your child who loves you, despite his behavior. The key is in you, and you are looking for it. Success! than ever. Try and be persistent, this is your child who loves you, despite his behavior. The key is in you, and you are looking for it. Success!

   I do not know what to say! The word "mom" is the holiest and purest, obviously you don't deserve it! At the age of 40, it should be clear to you that the child follows the example of the parent, because from an early age he begins to support him ... Where were you then? Where have you been to show your child that there is a mother who would listen to him, would support him, would give him her advice? Where were you when this child began to become a woman? Giving money and buying clothes does not educate, ma'am !!! If you haven't taught your child manners, respect, etc., I'm sorry, but no one else. You can only blame yourself for that. For leaving your daughter to grow up alone, to build herself as a person again. And if you don't like it now, thank you for what it is. A mother who says she doesn't love her child ............. I'm sorry! I also regret your child for not being able to feel the mother's love ...

   I completely agree with 21 and I do NOT agree with the opinions of people who say that after writing here, then he loves her. He writes here out of some guilty conscience, if there is one at all. I am a daughter, as described by 21, with a mother as the author. I am rude and angry with my mother. Each of our conversations ends right with a slam on the door from me. Believe me, I was looking for a way to her, a way to talk and understand each other. I've been looking for it this time for more than 15 years, but there isn't one. I never heard her ask me just "how are you" - nothing more. For everything I was attacked and insulted from a very young age. But once I wasn't asked how I was. He feeds me, dresses me ... and the next moment he teases me. Believe me, there is not one thing, even the most insignificant, which I made the mistake of sharing with her and then not being used against me to attack and insult me. Madam, in order to free your daughter from your harmful presence, make her separate, not live with you, and become independent. Think about why she is so rude - what you didn't give her, what you didn't teach her. Because it cost me years and a lot of acquired complexes to realize. Thank God I am much smarter than my mother and although later (already 30 years old) I managed to understand that through all the quarrels and "slamming doors", I actually wanted from her just motherly love and support, a little understanding, which is so and I did not teach. It hurts a lot, I bear the consequences of it and I will probably overcome them all my life.

   Your poor daughter. If you didn't want her, don't give birth to her!

   I was the same as your daughter, it will pass when she starts thinking like a big man. For me it happened at 25, now I'm 27. Good luck!

   Nothing connects you simply. You gave birth to her so that the soul could have a body and do its earthly deeds up to that point.

   Something doesn't matter to me ... you stopped loving her when she grew up, or you haven't loved her since she was born ... if you've never loved her, she's never brought you (at least a little) joy, you never worried about her, etc. why did you give birth to her at all .... stay without children and that's it .... so you cause grief not only to the child but also to yourself ... there is many people like you who do not love children and do not intend to have. Everyone should do what they want, as long as they feel happy. But rest assured, she has long since come of age, she will soon find a husband, she will have children and you will completely forget about each other. Don't think of yourself as crazy. You will be crazy when you want your daughter dead. I just hope, as another user said, that your daughter is not like you and loves her children ... But if you hated her as an adult, maybe you really should go to a psychologist. The reason why the feelings between you are so cold must be found. Maybe while she was in puberty she said something to you, hurt you, and now she dislikes you. The opposite may have happened - you hurt her with something and she treated you badly, and when you saw that she avoids you, you also hated her ... As I look at the topic is very old. I hope you have smoothed your relationship in 5 years. I'm not blaming you for this comment, I'm just saying my opinion on the matter. I personally can't understand people who not only don't want to have children, but even hate them - I've always wanted to have children and the scariest thing for me would be to know that I can't have children (don't oh my god). I have a 5-year-old niece - sometimes she shows character and makes me very nervous, but when she looks at me with her blue eyes and smiles at me, I melt :)) We both like each other very much and we are close. I hope one day to be as close to my own children as I am to her. That was from me. I sincerely hope you fixed the problems with each other. Have a nice day! :) ж 23

   Hello! If this is a real situation and not an author's fiction for the sake of countless comments, I agree that this is a lack of love in both. At 21 is old enough to stop screaming at her mother and walk out the door. My mother is still like that. Worse, she never kissed or hugged me. We are completely alienated for no reason. I haven't beaten her, though. Only insults to people and humiliates no. But love is not governed by laws. Make small gestures, but not material. I hope your daughter appreciates it. I don't need a mother. Only bad memories. I hope things go well with you!

   Okay, I get involved quite late, because now I see the topic, but this author gave birth only at the age of 19! Now someone will say - what so, she was an adult; my women have given birth before; well, the woman gave birth because she is not a feminist (for example, a little boy can say that ;-)); and -ami she gave birth. In my opinion she should not have given birth so young, purely mentally nowadays most people are not ready to be parents at that age. I even think that in the past they were not ready to give birth at such an age, but there were simply no safeguards and in general the mass of the population did not think so seriously about what follows after the birth of a child, except for the purely physical his survival, but even for this they did not think much. Also that it took labor for the fields .. So at the age of 19, the peers of this author, not that there were no like her, who made a child, but most of them started working, moved out, enrolled to study higher education, went abroad to they see a little world .. they have lived a life for themselves at all! And the author of what - from the routine at school has entered the routine to be a parent. I would even be surprised if she didn't write / feel what she wrote here, I even think a little. In comment18, the author says that she was annoyed by her way of thinking, at her 'flying high', so how could she not be annoyed when she herself from school grabbed the baby cradle directly - nor did she have the opportunity, the chance, no she had the time to try to fly ... nor to develop her thinking in any direction other than that of a baby, then to run after a child and serve his household needs, then to support a schoolgirl, to deal with school things ... as I said - this author has never lived for herself. In my opinion, if a person did not live for himself, if he was not happy as an individual, then he could not be happy as a parent.

   Author, what is your relationship with your own mother? I suspect the same ... in my opinion you were a victim of bad treatment by your mother / she by hers /, which you passed on to your daughter, unfortunately. You did not realize that you could break this terrible tradition. You love your daughter, but you are not taught how to show love. Unfortunately, a large percentage of people are raised on the principle of "a child kisses only while sleeping". I don't know why ... Now it's hard for you and you think it's impossible to explain all this to your daughter ... do it in spite of everything, so that she doesn't one day turn from a victim into a bully to her children, no You want it, don't you?

   You are a bad mother and you also need a psychiatrist. There are so many people who cannot have a child, and fate has chosen you to give you a child, and you have the audacity to think such things. You are a lowly ungrateful. Everyone who has shown sympathy for you is sick.

   I think you both have mistakes back in the past that you need to remember first! Second to acknowledge them and third to reconsider them. I don't think it's normal not to love your own child. If it is rude, then there is a reason. If you are arguing - then there is a reason, go to a family psychologist together and talk. She has to express her point of view and pour out everything, just like you. Try to understand her without judging her and without arguing. If you help her, then not all is lost. That's not right, darling! For example, I don't get along with my mother at all, I moved out 2 years ago because we didn't get along, but I'm going to kill someone for her, I adore her from earth to the end of the universe, and she adores me! She is your flesh, if you don't understand each other, you should at least love and / or respect each other! Good luck : )