After several failed relationships, I really have a hard time trusting a woman. I do not know what I'll do. The last girl I was with, by all my requirements, seemed very decent, I trusted and finally did something I did not expect from her at all .. Now any woman to sit opposite me, on a first date, even the most decent yes, I can't trust her. I just expect the same from all the women I meet. I expect him to lie to me, to play me, to cheat on me, etc. I have a feeling that from now on I will never open my heart to anyone. I will never relax in trust and true love. I'm 28 and I don't know if there is any chance in terms of love things to develop well for me.
Answers 10
Well, if you are biased, do not expect a good result. No one likes to be punished for other people's mistakes. Even if you can't trust the woman, don't show it to her, because you can repel someone decent. Imagine a woman telling you that all men are bastards and whores. You're not going to feel very well, are you? Treat others the way you want them to treat you.
Don't worry, maybe you need time after the unpleasant events. It is important to continue dating women, try not to have high expectations and you will not be disappointed.
Here is a vicious circle. In order not to be fucked again, you do not trust easily -> without wanting to create a distance -> the person on the other side cannot relax and trust you -> you do not get a good result, even if the person on the other side is aware. Ie in your fear of being fucked, you fuck the whole relationship. It is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, a prediction that causes its fulfillment. In this case, rather a fear that causes its own fulfillment. Paragraph 22. I leave it to you to figure out exactly where and how to break this vicious chain. If I tell you in advance, there will be no value until you realize it yourself.
It is possible that even the most decent person will fuck you. Just live life with an open heart and whatever happens. Otherwise you are doubly harassed.
This is a defensive reaction, but very wrong. For example, I am a woman of 25 and have had unsuccessful relationships so far. They always lied to me, they stole money from my purse, they stole things from my house, they cheated, they invented me. My greatest love lied to me at least 10 times a day. He told me he was in the hospital, that he was not well, but I couldn't go and see him and I saw him drinking in the pub with friends. He told me he was in them, and they sent me pictures of him playing in the casino. In general, he could never be trusted. How many times have I waited for him at an appointment, he did not come and then apologized and said that he had been beaten or chased by thieves. Some such full movies. My other relationships were also full of lies. I was always honest, I never cheated, I never did what they did to me. Two years ago I met my current boyfriend, in the beginning I, like you, didn't believe him, but I decided to give him a chance, I decided not to judge him for the mistakes of my exes and to see what he is like. he rarely lies and if he lies it is for something small, he doesn't steal me, he doesn't cheat on me, he doesn't use me, in general he has nothing to do with my exes. I'm glad I gave him a chance. That's why I advise you to just give a chance to the new women in your life, because if you accuse women of infidelity and lies all your life, and they are honest, for example, it will offend them and they will abandon you and you will be alone. If you accuse me, and I'm honest, I'll leave you directly. he rarely lies and if he lies it is for something small, he doesn't steal me, he doesn't cheat on me, he doesn't use me, in general he has nothing to do with my exes. I'm glad I gave him a chance. That's why I advise you to just give a chance to the new women in your life, because if you accuse women of infidelity and lies all your life, and they are honest, for example, it will offend them and they will abandon you and you will be alone. If you accuse me, and I'm honest, I'll leave you directly. he rarely lies and if he lies it is for something small, he doesn't steal me, he doesn't cheat on me, he doesn't use me, in general he has nothing to do with my exes. I'm glad I gave him a chance. That's why I advise you to just give a chance to the new women in your life, because if you accuse women of infidelity and lies all your life, and they are honest, for example, it will offend them and they will abandon you and you will be alone. If you accuse me, and I'm honest, I'll leave you directly.
Man, where are you looking for these women? At the discos? Do not give up. Everything will fall into place, maybe much later.
There was a similar topic before, for the same reason I had accumulated complexes from previous relationships, my decision does not like many and I am selfish, but better happiness month than unhappiness year. So my decision is to just cheat once, be it with a friend or a companion. So I justify myself and her for future events that may happen, each of us is most afraid of infidelity, so this is the solution to my problem. Yes fact is not the right thing to do and a number will say I find another approach, but in the end everyone is looking to save themselves somehow. After all, if you don't want to be cheated on, don't get involved simply and clearly, but in order to stop having sick souls like me and the author,
I understand. Maybe you need time. Especially if you are a young man, you have to give yourself a chance again at some point. But I'm a woman over 40 and I pray I don't fall in love again. I pray that no man appears in my life. It hurts more and more every time they dump. Only those who have experienced it know. And don't say that the reason is in us. Just bad luck. Some are in love, others are doomed to suffering ... and loneliness, which is like salvation.
Author, it's not up to women. It's next to you. You're attracted to junk. And so it goes. I am the same. The bad thing is that I can even trust myself again, and again and again they take me for an appetizer. Already 8 women, each of whom has cheated on me at least once. I think I like to be trampled. I don't believe you either. 5 to be different.
Number 7, actually the last one I found in the library. He was a psychologist. After a few conversations and meetings, I just liked it a lot. He seemed a very down-to-earth and intelligent man, and I had a fixed idea of having a female psychologist. I just believed that with such a woman, if she supported me, we would achieve a lot together, but she actually put me in such a movie that it's still hard for me to get out of it. He always twisted things in such a way that he made me guilty and made movies for me. All the time he was psycho-analyzing me and looking for my flaws and the reasons for them. Eventually, at one point, I really started to think that I didn't cost much as a person. In fact, it was all a web of her own, in which she entangled me. At one point I realized that everything she told me about me was not true. And I realized that the man who loves you will never make you feel that way, whatever you are. After all, if someone doesn't like you, doesn't think you are cool, intelligent, good, etc., I don't see the reason for being with you. There are many more intelligent and good people in the world than me, let him go to them and tell them that something is lame, because there are no perfect people and everyone is lame.