Hello! I think it's my turn to share ... It's very hard for me ... I hope you give me advice, please don't judge me .... I met the supposedly greatest man. Exactly the kind of person I always wanted to meet - good, with a sense of humor, cheerful, smiling, honest, punctual, intelligent, educated. At first we were friends, without expectations from the other, but the attraction was felt ... there was love from the moment we met. Our relations deepened on his part. Compliments started, miracles started ... we thought about the things, the pros and cons ... finally we decided to get involved and experience it. Things between us weren't "I just like you" ... it was so much more. He started making plans for "us," talking about the future, and how he always wanted us to be together, for years, and no matter what happened, to always be friends. We had agreed in the beginning who can offer how much and who can expect how much ... namely, that someone could not offer me things, even if he wanted to ... He wanted to keep his marriage, he still had a child , and he must have cared about his wife, I know ... We had agreed that everyone should be honest with the other and not make a fuss. If there is something unclear to say / explain. He was so in love that he even said that even if he had a second child with his wife, what did that mean to us ... It was definitely obvious that he had really sincere feelings. We wrote to each other every day, for hours on end several times a day ... non-stop text messages ... loud words like "I don't stop thinking about you. It's an amazing experience when we're together! You're a great person!" etc. This story lasted 1 year, in which there were problems ... because his wife started to suspect and conversations started around the clock ... maybe there was some information, but I don't know how she could ... Despite the serious problems, he didn't give up on me. As soon as the problems subsided, we continued. When we saw each other again, something happened ... apparently his wife had seen us somewhere outside just to talk. After 2 days, I realized that the interrogations had started again. This time things were serious. Phone prints, passing home, scandals ... etc. I suggested that if he wanted us to stop ... we would "for now". Then it turned out that she was pregnant ... Months passed ... I hid hopes that everything would be ok, and he did not show in any way, and did not say not to hope, on the contrary. I started to get nervous from this waiting, for their problems to pass .... I started asking questions ... a lot of questions .... I just wanted a good word to be said to me .... but I obviously bored him, I know ... After the next pressure I was told that he was confused and that I pressed him a lot .... but it wouldn't be like that if he had just told himself and signaled at the beginning that he felt that way - pressed. And he was looking for non-stop contact with me, which weighed on me ... I wanted to talk to clarify in order to avoid this pressure from me, but no .... it didn't happen .... July came , then August .... I was told "that I don't wear my bracelet now means nothing" (I had given him a bracelet) ... and I accepted this loud word as "I'm still thinking about you, nothing that I don't wear the bracelet ".... I don't know how another person can perceive it .... The teasing and explanations of what he was doing continued, without being interested .... I asked him "do you have feelings for me" ... he "I'm confused because a lot of things happened (problems) that you don't know about. my feelings are stronger than friendly". ... Another month passed .... I couldn't stand it ... this endless waiting tore me apart. I pressed him again because I wanted to clarify ... after 15 text messages and not answering the questions specifically ... I asked him if his attitude towards me was the same, if he was still in love or not. I wanted an answer with "yes" or "no" ... but again nothing ... just "I accept you more as a friend than anything else" ... I asked "are you in love with your wife again or is there another", I wanted a specific answer ... I wanted to hear / read my total rejection, but no ... the answer was "enough questions". I wished him all the best, but he was still looking for contact with me ... We saw each other just like that, and it was obvious that there was still attraction, he was constantly looking me in the eyes when I was talking and super smiling, his eyes were shining .... Just to say - I'm always I was right with this person, I never caused him problems, I always took into account the situation he was in. About me - I am over 22 years old, I look very good, with a very good education, I have achieved a lot in my life, I am intelligent, I am a good and cheerful person with principles, I have done no harm to anyone, I just wanted love, true love. .. that's why I dreamed. It's hard for a man to impress me ... it's hard for me to fall in love ... He's over 33 years old. Please tell me what you think and do you think that I am to blame, because of my pressure he no longer has feelings for me? ... I tried to talk to him, but in the end it turned out,
Answers 21
Hmm ..... why do you deal with married men? Are the free ones over? Haven't you thought that if you were his wife, you wouldn't be happy at all? Besides, I think a little immature, this story seems to have been written by a 15-16 year old teenager.
You will wait a very long time if you continue to be interested in him. He is married with children. What do you mean by that job? You will always play a second violin as they say. You better find an unattached man. I don't think he's going to give up his wife for you.
I UNDERSTAND YOU VERY WELL, BUT SHOULD I HONESTLY TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU KNOW MEN ARE BAD AND DISORIATED AND SIT AT WHAT THEY WANT AT THE MOMENT AND IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING. DROPPED IT I HAVE EXPERIENCED IT.
Girl, what kind of pressure is this? You want answers to specific questions. You were always punctual and honest with him and expected such behavior. Unfortunately, you were in love and blinded - this man was and may be really in love with you, but he is very indecisive and confused. I guess the baby was already born. After having only one child and not being determined, now that he will become a father again, do you think he will become more determined? In other circumstances, I would write to you that he didn't love you, that he didn't love you, that he was irresponsible, etc., but I don't think so: he's just too responsible for his children and he put them first, after his happiness. I tell you from my own experience. However, where do you fit in - you are so young. I'm sorry that the person you love is bound ...
"About me - I'm over 22, I look very good, I have a very good education, I have achieved a lot in my life, I am intelligent, I am a good and cheerful person with principles;" Look, I agree that you look good, ok, but I don't understand exactly what your intellect is. You do not understand that his wife is more of a friend than you, he cannot iron his shirt without her, he also has 2 children. He may fall in love with you, but a second family will not.
To 3 and 4 - Thanks for the comments! "Number 4", I really sincerely thank you for the opinion you have expressed! 1, 2 and 5 - did you answer just like that. You haven't read what I'm bothering about at all, etc ... Anyway. And I'm definitely not a "number 1" teenager, I don't know how she came to that conclusion. About waiting - no one said I was waiting. If you see the question written below and understand it, you will understand what I published this story for.
Hello dear ! I support comment 4. It is not your fault that you love, that you asked for clarity. Dialogue is not pressure, it is the bridge between people to solve their problems and find the right solution. I am convinced that these were real feelings between you. I have experienced a similar situation. There were no promises, no boredom, quite the opposite - everyone knew where he belonged, but we had both discovered love and what we had lacked for years, understanding and spiritual closeness, attraction and passion. The same indecision, the same confusion, but ... the reason was similar and not quite. As for the other comments ..... suppose I experienced another situation in which I was on the other side. Yes, it's not nice to have another. But what to do is life. I think I had every right to end my cohabitation, because it turned out to be just that after years - coexistence, in the name of higher goals. You probably have to have played two roles in one plot in order to see ordinary and normal truths and not to be subjective, not to judge. He will continue to love you and keep the memory of you, but he will stick to his responsibility. When there is love with its true dimensions, there is no guilt. There is no wrong love. You are not guilty of anything. Be grateful that you met him, that you experienced both good and bad moments with him. Every obstacle in life or disappointment teaches us something new. Take it as a stage of your growth because you are a smart girl. A stage in which you forgive yourself and accept yourself as you are, without blaming yourself. A stage in which you accept others as they are. Respect him for this decision of his, because he's just like that, not brave and looking for the cause outside himself. Success ! And I wish you to find love again.
From answer 2. So if I had answered just like that, I wouldn't have bothered to answer your story at all. And about "waiting" you mention it twice. After all, we read your whole story. It seems to me that you have too little experience with men and therefore you cannot understand what I am writing to you about.
To number 7 - Thank you very much for the comprehensive answer to my question! :) To number 2 - the problem is not waiting, nothing that I have written it several times. If there is a question, then this is what interests me -> answer to my question! I have never written anywhere that I want or expect him to give up his family. Anyway, thanks for the opinion.
№7 answered the question very simply and accurately. There is no future in this regard. Man is indecisive and at the same time responsible. He wants to keep his friendship with you, but he will not decide to start a family with you. There is no way to get an answer to your questions from him, because he would prefer not to answer you. If he answers you, he will have to tell you the truth, and he does not know the truth because he is too confused. Maybe he is connected with two women - you and your wife, and with each of you both have certain things in common. The ideal option would be for him and you both to create an image. But as you understand, this is impossible. Probably his wife is a strong character. You too. Apparently he is softer and indecisive. There is a saying "When a person wants - he acts. When he does not want - he finds a reason" As for guilt, you shouldn't have it. The decision of whether to stay with his family or choose you is his own. And you have gained some experience and you should realize something that repeats itself in life - leave married men to their wives. If a person is divorced - that's another thing - he has already chosen his path. But if he is married with children - he does not want a lasting commitment, but rather seeks relief, escape from duties, problems and responsibilities. In such a situation, you only waste your time if you rely on the future. If you are only looking for variety - then no problem. This is the right person. If a person is divorced - that's another thing - he has already chosen his path. But if he is married with children - he does not want a lasting commitment, but rather seeks relief, escape from duties, problems and responsibilities. In such a situation, you only waste your time if you rely on the future. If you are only looking for variety - then no problem. This is the right person. If a person is divorced - that's another thing - he has already chosen his path. But if he is married with children - he does not want a lasting commitment, but rather seeks relief, escape from duties, problems and responsibilities. In such a situation, you only waste your time if you rely on the future. If you are only looking for variety - then no problem. This is the right person.
From № 7. Let us not forget that every story, every destiny is individual. If hopes are whimsical, then we are really wasting our time, but when we look for answers to our questions, then there is growth. No one is able to understand what HE thinks, but he certainly does not deserve the author. There is still a lot to learn. There is no guarantee that even after this development of events, he will remain "married to his wife", right №2? But our author does not need to become a haven of consolation, because she has a future of her own. Both men and women have the right to free choice and to a life that is too short and should not be lived in fear. I wish success and luck to everyone and especially to the author, because she deserves it, she is brave.
Let's shake our children, because this or that person is walking in a strange way! You are talking about a relationship between a weak-willed man and a young lady who is not young enough for family life. And the children? Children what to do with them? Will anyone answer where their place is in the puzzle?
Hello dear! I'm certainly not the one to blame you for falling in love with a married man. I understand you completely, because my situation is very close to yours. I wrote you a comment yesterday, but unfortunately it was not published. I hope this time my words will reach you. Well, I wanted to say that no one is the master of their feelings. Love is a wonderful feeling. Unfortunately, sometimes we fall in love with inappropriate people, and in your case and mine with married men :( The bad thing is that in such stories the man usually takes what he needs, and the woman ends up with a broken heart and tears. Mila, I think this man really fell in love with you, he found something in you that he wasn't at home, but apparently in the end he decided that his family was more important, and not his wife, but rather his children. In most such relationships, the man never chooses the mistress. And as for answers ... He will hardly give you any. He just wouldn't want to hurt you. Since my situation is almost the same, I will try to give you adequate advice. I know this is the hardest thing anyone has ever had to do. But I boldly tell you to forget it. It's hard not so much to stop loving as to say firmly no and not see it again. You have to be strong enough to do it. I myself am not at this stage. However, I do not want this man to ever leave his family. Don't be selfish. He will not be happy away from his family. Maybe my words will hurt you, but I think that's the truth. You better experience the great moments with him, but never press him. Or just try to find another person. I know it's very difficult. In one of Emilia's songs it is sung: "When everything is over and love is extinguished, a cruel wound remains after that. When everything is over and the wound heals, then love returns again" ... You know, I guess. Keep going with your head held high, because otherwise you risk being left alone. If you just wait for this man, the years will pass and your criteria for men will become higher and higher. At least that's what happens to me. I understand that we are the same age. I don't know if you will accept my words and if you will find the strength to cope, but I wish you success. I want to turn to the person who wrote the first comment. No one chooses who to fall in love with. The fact that she met love in the face of a married man does not make her a murderer or less a woman. And in this case, if any guilt is sought - it is entirely the man's. If it wasn't this girl, it could have been different. When a person seeks happiness outside, something is clearly missing in his family. And if his wife can't give him what he needs, let her be fine. It turns out that she "holds him in her arms" by having children from him. Besides, I don't know how she came to the conclusion that the author is a teenager. Neither her writing style is low, nor is her life history and experience inherent in a 16-17 year old. But that's right. Some people are born to criticize others, not to support them and learn from their mistakes. The girl asks for advice, not criticism. Not only is she in a difficult situation, but here some of you might be able to depress her. To the author: I hope I was at least a little helpful. I just want to tell you that there is something that worries me a lot about what you wrote, and it's this: good luck and solve your problem soon. Don't forget to write here. There really are people who are excited about other people's stories. And maybe then your story will help me too. Regards: S. good luck and solve your problem soon. Don't forget to write here. There really are people who are excited about other people's stories. And maybe then your story will help me too. Regards: S.
№7, №10 and №13 - Thank you very much !!! You helped me a lot! For now, we see each other as friends, but I guess ... not quite. Time will tell. If there is a development I will write here in this topic. Thank you again! :) №7 and №13 - do you have e-mails? I will be happy if we can talk outside the forum.
I am 13: [email protected] I will be glad to write :)
I'm № 7. If №13 lets me write to her, you'll have my email. And I will be happy to talk outside the forum. We can all help each other.
Yes. Of course you can number 7. Write to me. I'll be glad.
Love is not gone. Watch the movie I am a man. I experienced 90% of the things in the film. I'm busy and I don't have time to write, but I want a comment. I know what this is about. GS1
At №18 - sorry, but lately I don't have any time ... I hope to be able to watch the movie you recommended later and I will write a comment. If you find some free time, please share what you know ("I know what it's about") and in general your overall opinion on the topic. Thank you in advance!
I am number 18. The topic is very broad. I promise to write. I'm a Gemini and I can't explain it to you in five or six lines. See you soon. GS1
TO THE AUTHOR: Hello, I'm number 18. I'm starting to write as far as I can. I will personally try to explain to you in an understandable way what I think. I start from the back. I am 49 years old. One year I had a relationship with a woman 16 years younger than me. We have been separated for 13 months now. I haven't touched her since March, I haven't heard her since April. I don't know where she is. I haven't looked for her. I can only say I love her and that's it. I wrote. He spat on me. I am one of those men who, according to many authors, are complex, indecisive, weak-willed, confused, irresponsible, users, we run away from obligations, aging, dumb and ugly. WOMEN'S NONSENSE How did I get to the movie ?! In real life other minds give me: like, how can you fall in love, Fuck and run, Let her break her head, When she comes send her where she was, Millionaire to come spit on her, Don't throw your snot at her, she's so dirty, Family is the most important thing, Watch your wife, Watch your children, How can I catch this garbage, I've exposed myself and my children, But it's all evil. However, I did crafts. I left only her photo in my studio and named my new cat after her. My wife spits the picture, I wipe it, Rita the cat, I deliberately caress and kiss her. Everything was until noon. Having been gone for 7 months, my wife calmed down. The picture is still there, the cat has grown up, only I want it, I can't forget it. You will say that there is a god. A friend of mine called to congratulate me on my name day and I have been talking to her for 7 months now when I want to be with her. One day he calls me: You have already started to make me angry with this stubbornness of yours. You will not die of love, but of stubbornness, the girl has found someone to feed her, they live together, sleep together, they will get rich and you will really get sick. I had a good time. My eyes filled with tears. Then she shouts at me: But you are really in love. You know, you've experienced a BIG SHARED LOVE, so you can't forget it. Have you seen the movie FRIDA. The film is based on an actual case. For two great Mexican artists. Let's leave what they painted. She is FRIDA KALO 6.o6.1907 ------ 13.06.1954 He is DIEGO RIVERA 1986 --------! 957 They met in 1929. She was 22 years old he was 43 years old. He had two marriages and 2 children by his second wife. In 1930 they married. In 1939 they divorced. In 1940, they remarried and remained inseparable until Frieda's death. 25 years of marriage. 22 years difference in their years. Everyone can draw conclusions for themselves about what love is, why they cheated on each other, separated and reunited. What is this thing family, disease, fame, work, environment. I searched the internet. I read their autobiographies. I looked at their pictures. I don't like Frieda. I read that Frida the Young Beauty married fat Diego only for his fame and spent her whole life just on the couch. THIS IS MY QUESTION> WHAT DOES A YOUNG BEAUTIFUL GIRL WANT FROM A MARRIED MAN TEN TWENTY YEARS OLDER THAN HER. I ask you young people. We aging people know what we need. I have not yet expressed my opinion on the subject. Men in their thirties, forties, and 50s cheat in different ways. Watch the movie first, then we will comment seriously. The movie broke me. I had decided to live by some rules imposed by the fashion of the day, but I was convinced that. SHARED LOVE is the greatest thing on earth and there the formulas of higher mathematics cannot help us. I want to go to her like in the movie and ask her: SISI marry me. I know it shouldn't be. Great drama.