Hello, I am a woman of 38 years. I do not know how to start - I have never been able to express my feelings. I want to tell you about a love. 20 years ago I had a long relationship with a man I loved very much, but he was not suitable for me. He cheated on me, sometimes humiliating me. Now I see my mistakes, but then I blamed him for everything and when my dream came true and he proposed marriage to me, and by the way, he cheated on me again, I abandoned him. I got married. A month later, he married.
For those 20 years, he did not stop cheating on his wife and did not stop trying to renew his relationship with me. But I was not interested - my life is not like in fairy tales, but I have a husband who loves and respects me, does not cheat on me. We raised wonderful children. Over the years, I have become a beautiful and confident woman, I built a career - what more could I want and why should I complicate my life. But 6 months ago he died and unexpectedly for me I suffer. I always thought I hadn't loved him in a long time, and now for six months, I don't want to accept that I will never see him again. Otherwise, everything is fine in my life, but then why does it hurt. About the departing youth or about the fact that we have been apart all our lives and there are many unsaid things left between us, and now it is gone ...
Answers 7
Well, honestly, maybe the latter. The very fact that you haven't forgotten it in 20 years may tell you that it's no accident.
Because people have said: "First love is never forgotten" !!!
Hello, I do not agree that you are suffering because there are unspoken things left between you. I think it's the same with everyone - especially with us women - maybe because we're more romantic, more sensitive. It seems to be in our nature to find something to suffer for. Now you imagine what your life with him would be like, etc., even though you know what it was like. Rather, you grieve for a friend, for a person who was part of your world. More or less - despite the problems to be with him there was something. As banal as it is, you will forget it and get used to it - people are animals and we get used to these things. Experience the pain and sorrow for your person, but do not look for guilt in yourself. Greetings!
You suffer for not telling him that you forgive him.
Thanks to everyone who wrote to me. Now that things in me have calmed down and I'm reading what I've written, I realize that I didn't really forgive him. But the way I feel made me realize that I've loved this person all my life. Maybe that's why I didn't forgive.
Hi, I think that's exactly what true love is, and it's passionate. But I don't see what you can do if he's married. To be the OTHER ...... no, but if he loves you too, and I think so, let him part with his wife, because you were born for each other. Look for it - you will not regret it.
I did not understand which of the two died, there is ambiguity.