Hello! I am a 21 year old girl. I dropped out of university - I had excellent results (6.00). My topic is in the "Family" category because I don't get along with my parents (I still live with them). My studies and expenses forced me to stay at home. I have a terrible relationship with my father, when I was 11 years old my mother found out that my father was cheating on her (while he was working abroad), found a picture of his mistress and her daughter. Scandals broke out, I saw the pictures, my father drank often. I also have younger brothers (they were babies then). From that moment on, I hated him, he told me not to call him "Dad" and I still don't call him that. Despite the scandals and the fact that he ran away to his mistress, then he returned and stayed with my mother. She hated him too, and she still hates him. He often harassed us - insulting me and hitting me (even on the head). I don't see support in his face, and whenever he gets drunk he gets annoyed with us (especially with me, even with my brothers, with my mother). When I stopped, he told me that nothing was happening to me and that I would become a "smoker and cleaner". I have not yet written why I stopped - I stopped from exhaustion (travel, studying at night, homework, early exercise, no social life (to deal with all the material) .
My mother supported my decision, although she did not agree :, "But then he told me that maybe it's really better to rest and come back in a few months and continue. Even the 'idiots.' to graduate I don't care because I put so much effort into an excellent result, and people, who flatter the professors, associate professors and assistants benefited without straining much. I was also an excellent student at school, although ours did not quarrel with me for grades. I have always been ambitious. At university, I felt from the beginning that my colleagues hated me, not because I inflated or tricked them, but because of my knowledge (well, not everyone hated me, they even hated me, it's not the right word - they didn't like me). Besides, I'm a more modest person - I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't wear make-up, I don't go to chalga discos. I love reading books. Unfortunately, my family and the friends I had until recently could not understand me. They think I'm mentally ill, congested, that I don't know how to live and have fun. One of my friends even told me, "You either don't want to have fun or you don't know how." He told me because, according to her, I don't like to try new things, unlike her and the others in the company she goes out with, the others who are gay, lesbian, and she herself is engaged to a boy of Roma origin and until recently her father did not know. I communicated with them because I knew them from school, and at university, I could not find my environment. You might think that they really have the right to insult me.
Even my mother told me: "Nobody wants you, you will die alone, you are a complex - you must have been slapped a lot at the university". My mother never really treated me with tenderness. My grandmother left me to take care of me since I was a child, that's why she often teases me that I am spoiled, that I was not taken out either in kindergarten or in schools (I changed two - one had no profile, but promised to have - me I wanted to get a certificate, and the other was full of gypsies who harassed me because I wasn't like them - they touched the other girls, threw pirates in the toilets). Anyway, it's over, I graduated with honors. I had two good friends, but in time we broke up - one found a friend and left us, and the other was under the constant influence of his mother, who told her what to do. Before that, however, my grandmother died and I was left alone - my grandmother was a friend, in fact, she treated me like a mother, while my mother beat me, cursed and insulted me.
Whenever we fight, my mother teases me (also in front of my father) that I'm schizophrenic (he has a distant relative who's sick, but not schizophrenia, it doesn't matter) like his family, and he tells her I'm schizophrenic in her line. Ever since I was a child, my mother beat me and even scolded me in front of strangers. Since I stopped studying I have really changed (before I stopped I promised myself that I would take more care of my health - I would go out more in nature, I would eat more regularly, I would find a job, I would change my environment), but alas this did not it happened, I got angry, I often change my mood - not because I'm crazy, but because I don't feel loved by anyone, I don't feel that anyone cares about me at all. I don't talk to almost anyone anymore (except at home, when I fight with ours, and they beat me).
My mother constantly reproaches me that I am sour and dissatisfied, that nothing has pleased us and as always insults me, and she has never asked me about the reasons, she just repeats to me :, Ma, I don't know what's wrong with you, schizophrenic, you are harassing me, because of you I go to work with broken nerves ''. She almost never told me to share her problems with her when she was younger, but whenever I tried to do so, she would make fun of me or make fun of me. So I refused to tell her, I became aggressive towards both of them. You might say :, Go to a psychologist. "I went three months ago and he told me that I had no problem and that he attributed my behavior to fatigue and insomnia. I haven't been able to sleep normally for almost a month - I fall asleep late and wake up in the afternoon and then it happens again and again. I was going out soon, I was going to a museum
- I still have interests, I'm not apathetic, although there have been moments and there are still times when I feel so alone and useless that I wish my life was over, but I wouldn't commit suicide - not only because it is a sin before God, but, because it can be unsuccessful and then they push me into a psychiatric hospital, where they push me with pills, it stays in my health record and prevents me from finding a job, and in the eyes of people I become crazy, crazy and suicide. My parents and relatives would not suffer for me because (my parents consider me a pessimist, my mother thinks that at 21 I was the best years of my life, that I was stuck in us, that I always find people's shortcomings, the only thing that would affect my parents is the funeral expenses.The strange thing is that I have never, even today, been a problem child, I even helped raise my brothers, I clean, I iron, I am not one of the women and girls who do not go home all day and night, and my father insults me with the words :, "neighborhood prostitute", "whore", although he never spotted me with a man from the neighborhood or anyone else. I'm tired of it, I'm looking for a job and I want to be able to move out of the house soon, but it was so easy - everything is expensive - rent, food, let's say I managed to set aside some money. I wanted to work in a bookstore or even a clothing store, even as a cleaner. The monotony at home kills me, and I didn't feel any different at university. I don't even think about going back to university anymore, I need time, not a new dose of stress, insults, and fatigue. At home I read books, clean, iron and so I spend the whole day, taking into account that I get up late in the day - every day is the same as the other. On top of that, when my dissatisfied father was almost out of money, he would come to me and I would give him my scholarship for excellent achievement, then he would give it back to me, but apparently the tale:, Good is not known. '' is true. No one understands my pain, everyone sees my anger and irritation, and no one sees the sadness, not that it is necessary.
Don't get the impression that I'm looking for regret. I know that there are people with much more difficult destinies, but I just needed to share with someone, and at the moment not only no one, but I do not trust anyone. I just need a friendly hand, but I don't have any friends. I hope at least someone reads a little of my story, even though it's already a whole novel, and tells me their opinion, even advice or something. I would be very grateful. but I just needed to share with someone, and right now not only is there no one, but I don't trust anyone. I just need a friendly hand, but I don't have any friends. I hope at least someone reads a little of my story, even though it's already a whole novel, and tells me their opinion, even advice or something. I would be very grateful. but I just needed to share with someone, and right now not only is there no one, but I don't trust anyone. I just need a friendly hand, but I don't have any friends. I hope at least someone reads a little of my story, even though it's already a whole novel, and tells me their opinion, even advice or something. I would be very grateful.
Answers 19
I'm the same, but I'm 2 years younger than you. I'm graduating this year and I'm going to study in another city. I hope that after I change my environment, some things will change. I think you need that too. From the university you can go to a brigade, where you can save money and move out or transfer to another university, to another city. Stay at the hostel there the bills are much lighter. You need to recharge and start fresh, I personally think that an excellent student like you can do it. As for loneliness, I can't help it because I'm like that myself. Success!
You live in a poisonous environment that you have created for each other. Better to put on make-up and listen to chalga than this miserable life that is now. You need a friend, but not to have fun, but to complain to him. You have to completely break away from this environment and change your worldview. Life is what you make it. To me, you whole family are depressed and everyone blames the other for their misfortune. Work on yourself, there is a lot to fix. Good luck
What specialty are you studying? Let me tell you, there is no use in any specialty, I work in my specialty and take as much as a saleswoman, even less. Do not despair, life is ahead of you, things will adjust.
Go to your GP and tell him about sleep problems. A large number of anxious people are anxious precisely because of lack of sleep. Everyday life has been very hectic in recent years, most of us have the feeling that we are slow or stagnant. This feeling is insidious, when you accumulate enough stress, you begin to suffer from excessive fatigue. Then even if you move between the bed and the sofa all day, you will still feel tired. You can sleep 8 hours every night, but your sleep is not good and the result is the same. You close a negative cycle of anxiety - poor sleep - fatigue - anxiety. Your doctor will prescribe you something to sleep on. You do not need strong medicines, there is homeopathy and herbal teas that will do the same job. You need to sleep well, never underestimate sleep. When you go to bed, don't think about bad things. Fall asleep with pleasant thoughts, so you are more likely to wake up refreshed. If you wake up rested and in a good mood, your problems will decrease sharply. You're a little nervous and sour now, but that'll be fine with a good night's sleep. Do not underestimate nature and the sun. As I have already said, everyday life has been very hectic in recent years. You live in the city, there are cars and people everywhere, the hustle and bustle is great. Sometimes you will need to stay quiet in nature, breathe fresh air and bask. Walking and staying in the park will help you find yourself, even though it sounds infantile on my part. Anyway, all day long you revolve between housework and reading books, at least reading outside. Outside, no one will tease or insult you. You have accumulated tension from your father's infidelity. Your mother did a lot of stupid things, that she took him back before she forgave him and forgot. Now he annoys you all, you get nervous and quarrel with each other. You don't need anyone to chase you, harass or insult you at all. Sometimes relationships with relatives are toxic, accept it. You can love these people with all your heart, but you will be much better off not listening to their attacks. Your self-esteem is low, you have no confidence and such an attitude can collapse you mentally at the moment. You are not schizophrenic, you are not weak, you just have a difficult period and you do not receive the need for support. Do the things I told you. Give my theory a chance, it might work. See how you will feel in a week or two. If you are calmer and more relaxed, if you notice that you are more comfortable outside, you will get enough answers. Find a job. Do not worry, if this job is not very prestigious. There is nothing shameful about being a cleaner, because you make your money with honest work and you manage. There is no shame in any work. He worked for a month or two or three and moved out. See how you will cope, give yourself some time to get used to allocating your money and learn to set aside enough. It is clear to me that you are worried about the rent, but I will reassure you that you can also rent a room from an apartment. It's cheaper, it's just a little awkward to live with strangers, but you get used to it. After all, you will have your own room and you will reign there at will. Once you work hard at university but have the ambition to study, you can enroll in part-time study. This way you will work calmly and be independent, but you will still get your diploma. You can make countless compromises, but don't give up on any of your goals. There are always ways to achieve what you want, but the ways are not always very convenient. First rest, then sit down and think carefully about the possibilities. By the way, I've also been told that I can't have fun. As a child, I was very affected by these words, but I am no longer bothered by other people's opinions. For most people, it's fun to get drunk and dance every night, but not everyone likes loud music and dancing. I go out at night sometimes, but I don't dance and everyone is terribly shocked by this fact. You're having fun, you just don't do it like the others. Don't judge cruelly, you don't have to join the crowd. You will feel good in another environment and you will build a world that suits you. You prefer cultural entertainment - museums, galleries, travel. This is you and this is how you rest, for you this is fun and a good life. I do not believe, that you will regret the missed discos because you don't like discos. You are the important person in your life. Do everything in a way that fits your understandings and personality, do not think about other people's evaluation.
At the beginning of the story, your mother is supposed to get into your situation and support you, and from the middle onwards you are made the same psychopath as your father. Isn't your story another provocative fabrication?
It is sad that there are such parents. I can't believe there are such parents ... But it's not your fault. I wonder if your parents are dissatisfied that you seem dissatisfied with them, with the life they have offered you. Or that you don't appreciate what you have. The idea of moving out is good. And here comes the question of your dissatisfaction with what is caused, can you talk to them, explain to them how you feel. They can hardly read minds. Talks are also needed. And why you should have excellent grades, it's not so important ... here's the result - you're too tired and now you can't go on. Don't overdo it
Hello. I'm in the same situation as you. I would very much like to meet you and I understand you very well. I am 22 years old. boy. I had the strange feeling that I had written this. Be brave
Change the situation immediately. You are a smart wife, conscious, you will easily find a job. Rent a cheap apartment and live your life in your own way. Do not pay attention to others, listen to your conscience, only then will you calm down. It is obvious that you are mentally overloaded, there are cases that show that even learning can drive you crazy. You're not there yet, but if you don't take action, you may get mental problems, almost on the edge! Find a modest boy and start going out in nature, go on trips more often, they unload our psyche a lot! I wish you success!
I couldn't finish your firman. I have never seen so many clichés in one place. It's not your fault. Your mother's insecurity has turned you into a cliché. How can he both compare you to others (that idiots graduated) and call you complex. Well, these are exactly the complexes, to compare yourself with others. Find a job. Get out of the house. Life will still be good for you
At 21, you are no longer a child. At the age of 21, I worked and studied and paid my own fees. I was engaged and after I graduated I got married. I am already 30 years old and I have a child. I cook great, I wash, I clean, I look after a child, I do great. I think it's time to do it yourself. Your father is naughty, but at least your mother is next to you. The woman is also tired of your grumbling. Tighten up. It's not easy for your mother. Find a job, it's high time.
First, sorry, but the parents and the environment have damaged them to life. Second, you need a man. Depression is treated with dopamine, which you will get from regular sex. Take care of yourself. Make up, play sports, go out if you only have to walk, as long as you are not at home and it will work.
If the topic is real, I wonder how you do everything yourself. What do you study? What is this reading so much. When I watch diplomas being handed out, it's not that hard. Secondly, what is the problem with going to a dormitory, studying, working ... sitting at home. And? Leave them yours.
I don't understand these parents of yours, fight for your brothers, I think your brothers should be proud to have a good sister when you were 11, you had a difficult childhood, if you are alert, tell us how you get along with your brothers, now they are at 10-11 years if I'm not mistaken. Your parents are not flowers to smell and it seems that you suffered a lot during your childhood.
Go back to university, try to apply for a dormitory. The conditions are not good, but this is the only option to move out of you without giving crazy money for rent. Start a light job, for example a sales consultant at H&M, ie a job that will be daily and will not force you to stay up late at night. Use the evenings to study. I don't know what your specialty is, but if you have the opportunity, try to adjust your shifts so that you catch as many lectures as possible. Your goal is to become independent of yours, not to live with them, not to depend financially.
Number 9 - What do you see clichés in? To number 11 (the author) I don't know why, but I was expecting such words as: "You need a man", "Make up", etc. This is not on my agenda. I don't think the appearance of a man would help me, on the contrary. I don't need love bitterness either. I'm not looking for love right now. I just needed to pour out my grief. To number 12 - Yes, the topic is real. It's easy to get a degree, but I'm ambitious and I don't want a mediocre education. To number 13 - Thank you! My relationship with them is wonderful. They love me and are grateful to me, my only consolation is especially when my parents behave badly. Thanks for the advice, but once again I was convinced that in Bulgarian sites or forums for problems, stories, etc. there is always someone to spit on you and tell you how stupid you are.
Up to 10 - Ma'am, you're obviously the perfect woman. Admirations! God bless you.
In addition, my specialty is Medicine at MU. I live in Samokov and travel to Sofia, which is not very pleasant. The author
You should have the right to a hostel in Sofia. Why not give it a try?
Here is another topic of a depressed woman, in which someone has once again said that she will get on with her life with a man ... Can you really think of such people at all? So, a depressed, generally seriously emotionally burdened person, be it a woman or a man, the chance to attract a partner who is emotionally, and even mentally stable is very, very small !! Emotionally burdened people usually attract other ones ... So this girl from the toxic attitude of her parents, according to the "uniquely good" logic of 11 for example, would most likely get into a toxic relationship, or some kind of relationship there. Yes, sex gives dopamine. But we all know that when two people have sex between them, they become all sorts of other movies, whether positive or negative. (or - there is no such thing as 'just sex', even if we want to) And for emotionally charged people these films 99. 99 percent of the cases are negative. Such as 11 are really very limited and elementary people.