Hello :) I haven't been feeling well lately ... There are at least 1000 things every day that make me smile ... things are ok with ours, I'm good at school with success, it's always a party with my friends. Well, maybe that's my problem - every week I go or party in our country, I get drunk brutally, I hang out with whoever I fall for ... and I'm supposed to have fun, but in the end when I draw the line - I have no idea what I will study after I finish (I'm in 11th grade), I don't know where I will be tomorrow and what I will do with whom, I don't have any special hobbies (I get bored of everything very quickly) ... it's like I'm left to the current, to arbitrariness. I used to go to the gym and push like crazy, and then I felt a certain amount of satisfaction, but that's gone. Now, I don't think I'm kind of depressed, I'm probably just going through (like everyone else) some metamorphic existential crisis. But I really don't know what to do - I get everything I want, I'm even overjoyed. Inside, though, I feel like I'm corroded and rotten. The bad thing is that I start to acquire some unhealthy habits like not going to school when I'm not in the mood or resorting to food as comfort. Not to mention that this morning I was at home with an ex and at 10:30 I was upstairs on the cherry a little later and under the table (vodka went well for me), after which he would literally rape me (and he wasn't as drunk as I was) , after which he left, and I, because I was not mentally particularly adequate, decided to skip school. Oh wow. And the strange thing is that from time to time I cry so much that I realize how bad I am and exactly after 2 minutes I don't care, after my attention is distracted by some trivial phenomenon, like an ambulance passing down the street. My question is: Apart from a few slaps on the neck by Daddy and Jesus, what else do I need to feel existential pleasure? Girl 17
Answers 2
Unfortunately, you describe our modern culture - materially satisfied, but empty of content. Most are so empty of content that they don't even realize that they are satisfied on the outside, but on the inside they feel empty, and want more and more. More money, a new lover, new toys ... At least you realize it on some level, and it's as if you want to destroy yourself. You have to find something in which you see meaning in this life, no one else can tell you. They used to force them - marriage, children, work, survival ... they didn't have time for existential crises and to waste their lives with indiscriminate sex, alcohol, drugs ... Now ... you have to somehow endure the freedom you have. It's not as easy as most people think ...
Uh, goals? When a person has a goal, he is more consistent and stops worrying that his life is good (for example). You chase something, you work hard for it, it is in your head 24/7 and it gives you meaning to breathe. With this drunkenness, you're right nowhere. You will still be inadequate to enter class if you are drunk, hangover or intoxicated. There is simply no way, even if you go, it will be the same. Make some plans and follow them. Your whole problem is rooted in the fact that you have no roots, you are blowing with the wind and you are mentally burdened that you have no idea what will happen tomorrow or in 2 years. Just sit down, review different specialties and make a decision. You have a year, you can change it, don't worry. The idea is to have a direction of movement as you race through life.