Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. So I do not intend to go into details. Just a year and 10 months ago, my mother married a 25-year-old man and we have been living with him ever since. She became pregnant in February and gave birth to the baby a month ago. Since we have been living with this man, he has only bought me some rags twice for 10 leva and that was it. It's good that my grandmother occasionally gives me her pension, otherwise I'm lost. She kept lying to me that her husband was going to buy me what I needed and that when she gave birth to the baby everything would change and that then she would force him to take care of me too, even though I knew he wouldn't to do so, and vice versa. Emmy yes, everything I thought came true. Even now, even though I want money for her, and even before she gave birth to this crazy baby, she always scolded me when I wanted money. He always justifies himself with something ... I was bad or I didn't deserve it or the money wouldn't be enough, and this guy takes a salary of 1000 euros, imagine it and he never will. Last year we went to the market to look and I liked some jeans for 12 and she bought them for me, and when we got home he swelled up and looked at the blood. My mother is a big hypocrite because she always finds excuses ... why doesn't she just tell me she doesn't give me money. On top of that, 2 months ago my grandmother gave me 120 and she stole them from me and lent them to my uncle, but he doesn't return them to me. I told her several times to tell him to return them to me, and she only stated that she did not only owe me money and that she allegedly told him. Do you know what she tells him? Well, he says to him like this: Get your money back, because he wants it. - Well, what is this mother, brothers ..: x instead of her as a mother to help me and give me, she always justifies herself. All she knows is to scold me for not looking after the baby and for being bad and disrespecting her. She wants respect after always thinking first of others and mainly of her husband, and finally of me if she stays. Tell me, if I could make a living on my own, would I want to? He tells me that I had it for garbage ... he always tries to hurt me and shift the blame to me. Give me advice, what to do? Should I abandon her and go to my dad's in Bulgaria or continue with the miserable life with this "mother"? would i want her He tells me that I had it for garbage ... he always tries to hurt me and shift the blame to me. Give me advice, what to do? Should I abandon her and go to my dad's in Bulgaria or continue with the miserable life with this "mother"? would i want her He tells me that I had it for garbage ... he always tries to hurt me and shift the blame to me. Give me advice, what to do? Should I abandon her and go to my dad in Bulgaria or continue with the miserable life of this "mother"?
Answers 13
Go to your father ... And give some information about him, that you didn't mention what he is anywhere? Well, maybe he's better than your mother
You need to talk to your mother seriously. You have to insist that your grandmother's money go to you and just don't tell her when your grandmother gives it to you. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the baby to be inactive. After all, he is your brother / sister and you must love him. However, it is your mother's responsibility to watch. When she tells you to watch it, you can tell her that it is the parent's duty and that's why she stays at home all day - to watch it. If you wanted to watch, you would give birth. However, this does not prevent you from helping her child from time to time with something. However, as I said, he is your brother / sister and you can watch him for a few hours until something comes out or you can clean the house once. This is not your main duty, but you are still not small and you need a little help at home. When it comes to money, you really need to clarify the issue with your mother. It is best to tell her for your and her security to determine an amount per month to give you, and you to distribute it as you see fit. For example, on the day she takes maternity leave to give you BGN 50-60 and from now on you don't want it. Otherwise, your mother's second husband is not obliged to give you money and you are not entitled to look at how much his salary is and to accuse him of being tight. Raising a child is a responsibility that is shared between two parents - your mother and father. He is not your father and therefore does not have to provide you with anything. You live together, he pays the bills - a kind of part of your household expenses covers them and as far as I understand it does not behave badly. It is better to give more, but not necessarily. You don't say anything about your father - can't you ask him for money? And you definitely need to talk to your mother - she is the one who has to take care of you. Ana
Well, think seriously about not really going to your father. The man certainly loves you, and you are his own child.
On the contrary, number 2 is his duty to take care of this girl! After all, he knew about her before he reunited with her mother. And SHE is a minor! Dear girl, you better go back to your father. I don't think it makes sense to talk to your mother (if you want to try again, it's not bad) but once she gave birth to you, she has to think about you herself, not blame you for everything ... Danny your father to take better care of you ... Kisses and all the best ...
The author My quo info to give you about my father .. he is .. pf, I lived with him until 7 years old. He rarely saw me and almost never had anything to give me. He lives in Greece, her in Bulgaria, but with his second wife, and he is currently catching that he is unemployed. However, he had recently called me and told me that if I wanted I could go to Bulgaria and live with him and my grandmother. However, I refused because I don't trust him ... but I think where things are going there, I will go with my grandmother (mother's mother) and live with her. And to number 2 I want to say that after he took my mother, then he will support me, because he can't if my shoes break and they leave me barefoot. I'm basically between the needle and the thorns, if you understand me ... I don't seem to have much choice but to stay here and hope everything changes. With my mother, when I try to talk about this topic or she pretends to be crazy, or she yells at me super cool and tells me that I'm picky about her and that I don't let her live in peace ... that I didn't think I was and was more -Important of the baby. I don't hate the baby at all, but I don't love him .. but they think I hate him .. Last night she sent my grandmother to my room and my grandmother gave me some 10 euros for pennies .. and she shouts that my mother gives them to me . I just stayed like that, Fr. Oh .. To give me money for pennies and what .. she teaches her husband so that they don't give me anything and he gets used to it and starts not feeling obliged to give it to me. I don't know what to tell her anymore so that she understands that she can't lie to me every next month, that next time she will give me some meager sums of 10 to 15 euros. : х that I pick on her and that I don't let her live in peace ... that I didn't think I was more important than the baby. I don't hate the baby at all, but I don't love him .. but they think I hate him .. Last night she sent my grandmother to my room and my grandmother gave me some 10 euros for pennies .. and she shouts that my mother gives them to me . I just stayed like that, Fr. Oh .. To give me money for pennies and what .. she teaches her husband so that they don't give me anything and he gets used to it and starts not feeling obliged to give it to me. I don't know what to tell her anymore so that she understands that she can't lie to me every next month, that next time she will give me some meager sums of 10 to 15 euros. : х that I pick on her and that I don't let her live in peace ... that I didn't think I was more important than the baby. I don't hate the baby at all, but I don't love him .. but they think I hate him .. Last night she sent my grandmother to my room and my grandmother gave me some 10 euros for pennies .. and she shouts that my mother gives them to me . I just stayed like that, Fr. Oh .. To give me money for pennies and what .. she teaches her husband so that they don't give me anything and he gets used to it and starts not feeling obliged to give it to me. I don't know what to tell her anymore so that she understands that she can't lie to me every next month, that next time she will give me some meager sums of 10 to 15 euros. : х and yells that my mom is giving them to me. I just stayed like that, Fr. Oh .. To give me money for pennies and what .. she teaches her husband so that they don't give me anything and he gets used to it and starts not feeling obliged to give it to me. I don't know what to tell her anymore so that she understands that she can't lie to me every next month, that next time she will give me some meager sums of 10 to 15 euros. : х and yells that my mom is giving them to me. I just stayed like that, Fr. Oh .. To give me money for pennies and what .. she teaches her husband so that they don't give me anything and he gets used to it and starts not feeling obliged to give it to me. I don't know what to tell her anymore so that she understands that she can't lie to me every next month, that next time she will give me some meager sums of 10 to 15 euros. : х
Number 4 - yes he can pay her bills, give her food, buy her clothes, but he is not her father. She doesn't tell him Dad. She is a minor and therefore it is her mother's and father's duty to give her money. The second man is not obliged to pay for the child's braces, courses, clothes or tuition fees. These expenses are divided 50 to 50. 50% is borne by her biological father, 50% is borne by her mother. When her mother has no money, her second husband must give them. But he doesn't have to cover 100% of her expenses. Her mother's second husband can't take on the role of her father. That's a hell of a mess. He is not the one who should educate her and provide her financially. If he slaps her or punishes her, you will all leave - you, because you are the mother's second husband and that's why you do it. Do you have the right to hit and remark on my child? Isn't this your child? Namely, this is not his child, therefore he does not have the same rights, but he does not have the same obligations. My point is that in this case, it's not the stepfather's fault, it's her mother's fault. She is the one who takes the money from her grandmother, who doesn't buy her clothes, who doesn't take care of her. Ana
Go to your father, and dump her ... it's not a mother, it's some evil. Go to your father, and don't be bothered, you won't be mentally disturbed, and you won't shake your head. Go to your father, and live two or three of you, but whatever it is, it will be better than that. I hope everything goes well! :) A MAN ON 19
"If he slaps her or punishes her, you will all leave - you, because you are the mother's second husband and that's why you do it. Do you have the right to hit and remark on my child? ... '' Anna, do you even hear yourself shouting at them ??? To slap her "educational slap" ??? Do you bring up your children by fighting? Or don't you have any at all yet? How can you even think that way? With physical harassment upbringing does NOT happen !!! And I also mentioned this about her mother - "but once she gave birth to you, she has to think about you herself, and not to blame you for everything ..." (at least that's what we agree on) SSVDSOB
Number 8, My idea was not that things are resolved by fighting, but that in most cases, when an outsider makes a remark to a adopted child, he is always told that he has no right to make remarks because he did not participate in the process. of the creation of the child. But when this child needs it, it is always asked of him. And my idea is that many women in Bulgaria at least do not look to be independent, but to find a man to support them, their common children and their previous children. Her mother has to provide her with a standard, she has to start working. For your information, I have no children, I have never been beaten and I am against violence against children. I also speak from experience. I am a child of my father's second wife and I have a half-brother with whom we are very close. My father always gave me half the money from his 12th grade courses, half the money for his prom, half of the university fee, half of his vacation at sea, in general, all his expenses were divided in half. And he was not one of the fathers who gave minimal support, but enough to ensure a normal life for my brother. His mother also lives with a second man, but this man never fully covered the expenses of my brother and my brother, when he needed something, he always came to our father and mother, and did not go to ask him. The point is that when you have a child, you are responsible for him, whether you are divorced from his mother or not. On the other hand, my brother married a woman with a child. He covers the expenses at home, provides them with holidays, food, bills, clothes, etc. When there is a holiday or birthday or as Christmas comes, I always buy equal gifts for his wife's child from her first marriage and my brother's child. . But these are costs. But now this child is in 7th grade and needs a BGN 30 math lesson and a BGN 25 Bulgarian lesson per week and braces for BGN 3,000, because her teeth are crooked, what's going on. Her father takes half, and the other half as much as her mother can with the salary, if not my brother adds. Not everything can be expected from the second husband or husband. Of course, he knows that he has a previous child and that he has to take care of him. However, these cares have a limit and the fact that it exists does not cancel out the role and responsibilities of the biological father. Otherwise, my mother never commented on my brother's upbringing, and my brother did not interfere in the upbringing of his stepdaughter. Of course, if they ask for his opinion and ask him what she thinks, but otherwise it is not necessary, because the decisions must be made not by him, but by her parents. However, if he is his child, he can argue with his wife, if he believes that he is right and is for the good of the child and another decision is reached. This is a matter of principle. The rights and obligations of biological and stepparents are different. Otherwise, the situation is different with the author, if some shoes and clothes are not bought, something definitely needs to change and a serious conversation with the mother is needed, and if she does not go to the father. Apparently the conditions are below a certain subsistence level and they need to take more care of her. Basically, my comment was not about how to say "small" expenses such as clothes, food, bills or a trip to a neighboring city, which the author obviously lacks, but rather on a larger scale. And this was provoked by the words: "this guy takes a salary of 1000 euros, imagine and for me he never will" and "after he took my mother,
The author Hora, the rent is only 200 euros and plus they spend the money on everything, but not on me. They pay for a laptop and a washing machine. Everything else where it goes I don't know .. electricity, water .. how much is this electricity and this water? Come on, as long as at least some clean 500 euros remain .. but where do you scratch ..
Well, people, don't you feel, "after he took my mother, then he will support me too", "in 10 months only twice some rags" Some measly sums of 20-30 BGN / amounts of 10 to 15 euros /, for this 15 year old lady are few !? And her father is unemployed, her mother with a newborn baby! In such circumstances, our author demands large sums from her mother's new husband, he owed her as soon as he went to bed with her mother, the author wants to let her mother go for money. She has become a pimp for her mother, if someone is with her mother, he owes the "pimp" so much money !!!! The man supports both her and her mother, but she wants more and more, she counts the money they give her in euros to look like a small amount. "some 10 euros per penny" Is BGN 20 (they were also retail) not enough for a 15-year-old child? Author, who bought you textbooks or you don't have textbooks? After they bought you two rags in a year, do you go to school naked? Don't tell me you go to school with the clothes and shoes from last year when you were 13.
Pf, 11 you know nothing about me! In fact, I've saved you a lot. I'm not a pimp, is that clear? After he took my mother, he knew that SHE HAD A CHILD AND AGREED TO TAKE CARE OF ME TOO! WHAT DOES IT GIVE ME, EH? My grandmother provides me with everything ... everything is from her pension. And yes, the euro is I don't know what levs you are talking about after I don't live in Bulgaria ... nowadays with 10 euros you can buy what, eh? Come on, I'm proud if you can buy a jacket. Even if I wear my shoes from last year, I don't have textbooks, I only go to school with a notebook, and I only have 2 textbooks on photocopies. He supported me ... and how did he support me? It's good that she is my grandmother to give me some money and it rarely happens, because someone always takes her pension. Do you think he bought me something, huh? What did he buy me ... if you don't know what you're calling there ... you better shut up, that you annoy me. And the clothes I wear are from Bulgaria;) My grandmother bought my shoes again, and I have nothing to do with my father ... there is no point in interfering with him here, we are talking about a completely different topic. ;)
Girl, you're seriously in trouble. A little more and you will be able to work alone, to support yourself, which is a solution to the problem to some extent. I don't know why you turn everything into money, as this seems to be your smallest problem. Apparently you're that old, you need money to go out with classmates from left to right. In my opinion, your problem is not material. You have a stepfather who doesn't care much about you. They are generally step-fathers, where more, where less. He tries, but since he hasn't taken care of watching you for 15 years, it's not the same. Your mother is between a rock and a hard place. It has to please you, it has to please him. If something happened to him, she would leave her and be a single mother with two children, even worse. So it's not easy for her either, and that's why she looks hypocritical to you, she probably has to be. These relationships are super complicated. I am also in such a family, they are just quite older parents. I constantly feel like they are allied against me. Instead of being like a family, like my mother brought her boyfriend on a trip and took me, I feel that way. It's been like that for as long as I can remember. Only when I was little, I had no opinion and did not think about it. Find a boyfriend to support you, you also need a bystander who is next to you. You don't have money for a psychologist, otherwise I would recommend this as well. Try something like hypocrisy and you can achieve what you want, because everyone manages individually. I had no opinion and did not think about it. Find a boyfriend to support you, you also need a bystander who is next to you. You don't have money for a psychologist, otherwise I would recommend this as well. Try something like hypocrisy and you can achieve what you want, because everyone manages individually. I had no opinion and did not think about it. Find a boyfriend to support you, you also need a bystander who is next to you. You don't have money for a psychologist, otherwise I would recommend this as well. Try something like hypocrisy and you can achieve what you want, because everyone manages individually.