I am 21 years old from Sofia. I am a third year student. I have been working in a big company for 4 years. My salary is 1200-1500 BGN. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years, and we have been living together for 2 years. She has been working in her specialty for 2 years. She is 24 years old. Her salary is BGN 600. She is currently studying for a master's degree. We live in the hereditary home of my friend. She also has another apartment, from which she rents BGN 400. I shared with my mother and she supports us. I'm thinking of proposing marriage on New Year's Eve. Have we saved a total of BGN 8,000 for these 2 years? . It could have been more, but we made repairs and traveled to many places in Bulgaria and around the world. My friend really wants a child, but she says I'm small. Please tell me how it was with you. Thank you for your time.
Answers 31
Insist! He will finally agree!
We have the same income as you, but we are much older and we already have 2 children. It's not a lavish life, but it's edible. Sometimes God lets a lev on a side project. Then there is a sea urchin and a trip abroad. Abe has love, reciprocity, common plans for the future and a cheerful attitude to life - everything is there. If a person grumbles, complains and drools - it is better to dig his grave and lie down in it.
Even though you are financially stable, your girlfriend is right. After 2 years you do not know what will come to mind. What's the hurry? Your whole life is in front of you. Rejoice in him.
I am a girl, also a student, I am 20 years old. Until a year or two ago I did not want to give birth, my views were different, but for about a year I think I have matured a lot, I mean in my mind, and I am ready to become a mother, but I can not find a suitable one and he also wants children . My friend was suitable, but when I told him, he explained to me that he had no intention of becoming a father before 30, and that was actually the end of our relationship. I don't want to be in my 30s (like most women today) to give birth, I want to have more than 2 children and start giving birth at 22-23. I'm not a gypsy :) if anyone starts to wonder. So no matter if you are 20, you can be a good parent, mine and 40 to become and have no desire for children, in this regard, age does not guarantee anything.
Oh, but it sounds so good. Well, discuss it with your girlfriend - tell her you feel ready and so on. I wish you good luck whatever you decide :)
I think you are small.
You are too young to get married, wait another 3, 4 years. Are you ready or is your girlfriend insisting? I am personally against the new fashion for men with older women, but everyone knows about themselves ..!
Children are created out of love and with love. I have not seen such a thing with you. Salaries, rents, money saved - confuse parenting with a business venture, so think about whether you're really ready.
I agree with n. 9 that children are born with love and out of love, but do not eat and dress with love, they need shelter, health care, education, which is a matter of means Otherwise love a lot. I was in love for the first time at the age of 17 and it was a great love, but I did not create a child and thank God, because he turned out to be the wrong person! Today I am 31 years old, my husband and I have a paid, renovated home, savings, a secure job and it is time for us to have children - my motherhood will be as exemplary as possible, and there are 20-year-old women here who give birth to children out of love , but then they are fed by grandparents. Shame
If our parents had waited to get rich and then create us, then 1-2 people would have written on this site and the nation would have disappeared ...
N. 11 said a very important thing, but if our parents had provided us with at least the basics for a safe and carefree childhood, 2 people would have written here, because the rest of us simply would not have struggled with the traumas of childhood, difficult life and not to mention, that a huge number of young people cannot get on their feet at all and write here again due to the lack of an elementary start in life.
If you love each other and are financially stable, then there is no need not to have children. Most people see children as an obstacle and a problem, but I'm sure you know better.
"Being poor is not the same as being unhappy" "In general, it is more important for the family to be united and understood, to have love and understanding in it, not how many clothes and pocket money a person has." Reference topic "Why the poor make children? ”Who wrote this?
“Salaries, rents, money saved — you confuse parenting with a business venture, so think about whether you’re really ready.” It’s definitely much more willing than 90% of people. 11 - "Nation" is not equal to the number of babies born. Modern births are a nightmare. Children are a nightmare. The other day, a 17-year-old smashed my car window and paid me to be beaten, but he quickly ran away when I approached him with his friends. He just did it to impress his pimply comrades. As the parking lots are also protected by a camera, I filed a complaint against him, after consulting a lawyer. The next day, his father came to threaten me with self-mutilation. Kelesha was 17 and the father was 38, regularly unemployed, an alcoholic and with a record of 3 other children. Is this our nation? Why do we have to multiply them and endure them, because we literally endure them. BGN 17 health insurance definitely does not cover the services of our health insurance fund, even if they are of poor quality. The money wasted trying to educate his children for a start in life would be more useful if used as kindling. He did not give a penny for anything, including his children. It bears fruit and that is disturbing. His son ALREADY has a file on beating another student. There is already a second case. By 25, he would have toured half of our prisons, been king, beaten, raped, and killed. The other three children have no prospect of being any better. The father was not a criminal, but he had a child from the age of 18 when he was 21. He had no education, no profession, no brain, and now, we are paying for his mistakes. If there was any of these things, even with so many children, things would be different. And therefore - congratulations to the author for the good decisions he has made. I wish him success and happiness in life, as well as to have the smartest and most beautiful children.
Now half will say how small you are, the other half - that there is no problem. Humans are stupid beings in the first place. Most like to argue when it was right, whether to get rich before that and all sorts of nonsense. The truth is that most people like to put everything in a mold. Someone has formed the idea that he should become a father at 30 and is ready to criticize anyone who has decided to take this step below 30. And we humans are not robots and no one is in someone's mold, and is not obliged to lives according to other people's ideas. One is ready at 20, another at 30, a third and not at 50. And there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone is free to do what he wants, as long as he does not disturb others. If you're ready, no problem. Just one piece of advice - make sure she wants it too and only then offer her marriage. Because as he says you're small, it can deny you and become extremely awkward. Then you will not be able to watch, I give you a guarantee.
Again from the top I forgot - never press it - these things are not in force. If it's ready - fine, but if not - do not press it.
Did you start working at the age of 17, didn't you go to school then? Most men decide after the age of 30, after 2 years you can think differently.
Men should not become fathers before the age of 30. Personal opinion.
Number 19 you are very bad! Exactly the age between 18 and 25 is the best because then the healthiest children are born. After the age of 30, worse genes are passed on ... author, act with your girlfriend, I support you! I wish you to have several children and to be happy together :) there is nothing better than that.
You are financially well, but are you emotionally ready? Because a child takes a lot of time and energy from his parents. So I think your girlfriend is right. You are both still studying, you have yet to build a career. Where are you in a hurry? And it's easier for you, but she will be the one who will have to give up everything to close for 2 years at home, just at the moment when others will secure their future, will find a better paid work will develop.
Author, in my opinion, wait for your friend to complete her master's degree, to start a stable and better paid job in her specialty and to stay there for at least a year. Along with and after the birth, and the first year, when your girlfriend stops working, you will have a lot of expenses - it is better for her to ensure a good motherhood in advance, so that the first year you can look after the baby calmly and without stress. You also have room to grow - BGN 1,200, and after 4 years in the company it is not a very good salary for a young person, especially if you are in a big city. With this money you will find it difficult to support a family of three, you will have to rely on your savings until your wife returns to work, and this is stressful. Are you sure you made a living at your age? When the baby comes, there is no going back. It is good to have realistic expectations of what is happening in the first years after the birth of a child. You will not be able to go around with the baby on vacations and trips, as you are used to, you will not be able to go out in peace with friends. At night, your baby will roar hour by hour - you will both be chronically sleep deprived and nervous. Your wife will change. With a small child it is difficult to predict the budget, there is always something unforeseen. In general, your whole way of life turns upside down. Are you ready to give up your lifestyle and for the next 15 years everything will revolve around your child? Your wife will change. With a small child, it is difficult to predict your budget, something unexpected always comes out. In general, your whole way of life turns upside down. Are you ready to give up your lifestyle and for the next 15 years everything will revolve around your child? Your wife will change. With a small child it is difficult to predict the budget, there is always something unforeseen. In general, your whole way of life turns upside down. Are you ready to give up your lifestyle and for the next 15 years everything will revolve around your child?
Answer to 18))) I started work in 12th grade at 4 o'clock. After 12th grade full time as I said in the same company. I know German, English to level B2 and Spanish B1. At the moment, I focus mainly on German because I need it. I have written that I am a third year part-time student, my specialty is Tourism. Yes our parents have given us the opportunity for a good education, love and friendship. I don't think 3d. are a big difference. I'm not angry that there are tips to wait, I'm sure you're right that such a step takes time and is well thought out. I love her and I know I want to be with her forever. I don't confuse parenting with business, but thanks to the fact that my parents have given me a foundation, I achieve in my life. I've been making money and paying for my education for almost 4 years now ... but I'm grateful nonetheless, that my parents taught me to love and that they always support me. Thank you for your time. I would like to continue reading your opinions ... From the author :)))
Number 10, maybe you read my comment (number 4) and you were impressed by my age (20 years) and somehow I recognize myself in what you wrote as a reproach against my desire to have children from that age. This "shame" sounds extremely ugly! You can't criticize me, me or people my age, including the author, for our desire! The fact that you think that if we are not rich, our children will suffer is a very wrong idea. I grew up in a not very poor family, but by no means were we rich, but my childhood was so happy, because there were only good moments in our home, if things were different with you, do not blame us or do not transfer negative memories to ours, and in particular my family! Why do you live with such an attitude - poor family = unhappy child? No such thing, aren't the rich happy people? On the contrary! In my opinion, even the poorer ordinary people are happier, because with them the center is the good attitude, the harmony between the family members, and not like with the rich - the money! If you focused on not being a rich young lady, and not on your relationships with your loved ones, don't wonder why your childhood was unhappy! However, it should be borne in mind that I do not have much information about you, just these are the conclusions of your comment. But I say again - you can be a good parent at the age of 20, take care of your child with love and raise him perfectly, maybe at the age of 40. to be, and not to become a parent! and not as with the rich-money! If you focused on the fact that you were not a rich young lady, and not on your relationships with loved ones, do not wonder why your childhood was unhappy! However, it should be borne in mind that I do not have much information about you, just these are the conclusions of your comment. But I say again - you can be a good parent at the age of 20, take care of your child with love and raise him perfectly, maybe at the age of 40. to be, and not to become a parent! and not as with the rich-money! If you focused on the fact that you were not a rich young lady, and not on your relationships with loved ones, do not wonder why your childhood was unhappy! However, it should be borne in mind that I do not have much information about you, just these are the conclusions of your comment. But I say again - you can be a good parent at the age of 20, take care of your child with love and raise him perfectly, maybe at the age of 40. to be, and not to become a parent! to take care of your child with love and to bring him up perfectly, maybe at the age of 40. to be, and not to become a parent! to take care of your child with love and to bring him up perfectly, maybe at the age of 40. to be, and not to become a parent!
n 20 - I do not know where you read this nonsense, but it is not true that only 25 years old were born the healthiest children. In fact, if we look only at physics, after the age of 12 we can begin to procreate like primitive people, but by the age of 36 there is no problem. It is only after the age of 30 that fertility gradually decreases, but healthy children give birth to 48-year-old women as long as they can get pregnant. The good news is that we live in the 21st century and today we have a diagnosis and can give birth later. pregnancy. Before, people did not have doctors, diagnostics and lived an average of 35 years, but this does not mean that TODAY we must live like them. Today it is important to give a future and a normal life to a child, not just to tease him. According to your theory, the people in Stolipenovo live best because they reproduce on time ...
While working in Cyprus, my aunt had learned a very good story, "Live first, only then start a family." I am a Bulgarian, a patriot, and I am of the opinion that more children should be born in our country. But what is this thing, at 21 years old. already talking about apartments, marriages, children, etc. I'm not saying that you have to be the other extreme, party all the time and be all right. But you think like someone 30 years old. with arranged marriage. I am 23 years old. also a student, with a job, living with his girlfriend. But I don't think about marriages, children, etc. yet. Get up at 24-25 years old. then become a father. At least I think so. My parents became parents only at the age of 40. Which is also not good, because it's quite late. I mention because someone had said that after 30 years. age was late, "bad" genes could be passed on, and so on. Bullshit. It is true that the birth of 40 years. age carries risks for the mother and baby, but this for the "bad" genes is very simple. I am for the golden mean 25-35 years. it is good to start a family.
Author, first congratulations on your courage and desire to be a parent. As you know, most people dissuade them for envious haters and people like you, especially when they hear about your girlfriend's two hereditary homes, about your financial opportunities, which are okay for Sofia, but for Bulgaria as a whole are quite high. and people like me convince them in every way (I am 28 women and I have absolutely no desire to become a parent, for various reasons related to my childhood, my freedom-loving and slightly selfish nature, etc.). It practically doesn't make any sense because you released this topic, but I believe that you released it mostly out of curiosity :), that's how it works :) I liked what number 15 wrote !!! Otherwise, in 1-2 years your girlfriend will be 100% ready to become parents, just don't stop proving to her how serious, persistent, diligent and hardworking you are. I wish a lot of happiness to both of you.
22 made me laugh, most people dream of taking such money, even half of them can't. The child is for life after all.
My friend will not change her job because she is satisfied. Money is not everything. She also receives bonuses and a great team has gathered. She can find a paid job, but did these people teach her a trade. They took her when she had no experience.
24, you are very wrong, older parents are usually good parents, it seems that younger ones do not, but it is still individual for everyone.
Author, in comment 32 you write that your girlfriend loves her job. Well, that's the key. She loves her job and doesn't want to leave her to be locked up at home with a roaring baby! Because it is easy for you, you will continue to work as before, but she will have to give up her favorite job and communication with her colleagues, to close herself in you and her only conversations to be with other mothers and to revolve around “What puree are you buying?” “And you know in store X there are diapers on promotion!” Sorry, but for a young and educated woman with a profession this is definitely not the most fun way to spend your time. So she's right, she's just not emotionally ready for this step, to give up everything she's accomplished to discuss porridge and puree. You are both so young, where are you in a hurry?
You are ready for marriage. What will you think of him so much - you have a job, money and a house. A man who passes 25 years later has a hard time getting married. Whatever is written to you, it will happen. I know people without a job, without income have a family and children. He doesn't think about it anymore. The most important thing is health and love. Without love, nothing happens.