Well, I decided to share my problem. I will briefly describe what kind of person I am - 22 years old, normal physique, I always try to look good, I go out, I am sociable, to be ashamed is something not typical for me, I have friends who always ask about me in any way. and be a topic. In general, I have always given good advice, because in my mind I can play many options with different endings, in a very short time and the advice I give has always been useful. That's why I somehow became a psychologist and sexologist for my friends. I'm good to everyone and I just make friends very easily. Always with a smile on his face, but somehow sad and lonely inside. That's where my problem comes from - I didn't have a girlfriend in the sense of a boyfriend. It weighs a hell of a lot on me, because everyone around me has a partner, and I always watch and dream, just to have a girl next to me, to have someone to hear from and say, “I love you!” From being good to everyone, they become close to me and perceive me as a good friend, but nothing more. Many times people who are close to girls I like, and I have heard from them that I am too good. But I can't change that. In fact, I have no intention of changing, because then it will not be me, but I will be another masked man! Is it so bad that I'm a hell of a hot person, is it so embarrassing for a girl to go out with a boy like me, is everyone already looking for a bad boy to such an extent ...? that I am too good. But I can't change that. In fact, I have no intention of changing, because then it will not be me, but I will be another masked man! Is it so bad that I'm a hell of a hot person, is it so embarrassing for a girl to go out with a boy like me, is everyone already looking for a bad boy to such an extent ...? that I am too good. But I can't change that. In fact, I have no intention of changing, because then it will not be me, but I will be another masked man! Is it so bad that I'm a hell of a hot person, is it so embarrassing for a girl to go out with a boy like me, is everyone already looking for a bad boy to such an extent ...?
Answers 15
I'm the same brother, but I know that all this waiting will pay off;)
Dude, as a person twice your age (his name is - I could be your father) I will tell you the following: - the share of depression and suicide among psychologists and therapists in general worldwide is one of the leading among all others professions. Taking on other people's problems, pain and hopelessness is a serious test for the psyche and it is not easy at all, especially for people with a more unstable or not yet strengthened psyche. So be very careful with these activities! Your goal is to live your life to the fullest. Eventually to create and raise a generation. And if after all this you are left with an unnecessary resource - only then you can dedicate it to others ...; - you do not lack self-confidence about your intellectual and therapeutic abilities, BUT is it covered? Considering the problem you describe - HARDLY! Here are just a few of the inconsistencies I notice at first glance: you "give advice" to your friends, acting out theoretical scenarios in your head, they "follow" them and succeed, but in fact - they neither follow your advice verbatim, nor succeed because of your ingenious penetration. What you are actually giving them is MORAL / SPIRITUAL SUPPORT, CONFIDENCE that they will do it, and nothing else! In practice, they have MORE practical experience than you, because they are not afraid to try and make mistakes, they accumulate it imperceptibly and without claiming to be very knowledgeable and capable in the field. They actually apply their experience in practical situations, but supported by the confidence and self-confidence you give them. How else would you explain that you are a "sexologist" to your friends, since you yourself are a virgin? My colleagues and I have exactly one such oxymoronic joke: "virgin sexologist" - ie. a man who has no practical experience in a given field, but on the other hand, in theory and in fairy tales, listening to him, you will say that he invented this field ... until the first practical situation in which it turns out that all his theories and wise thoughts go to hell ... - as mentioned in the previous "point" - study things IN PRACTICE - trying and making mistakes, stumbling and getting up, and only then, already on the basis of this PERSONAL practical experience, extract the theoretical principles! You will be amazed at how different the practice can be from your initial ideas about things! More action - less talk! Otherwise, you will quickly exhaust your positivism towards life and what do we do next? ... Don't be an omniscient and wooden philosopher! There is a saying: "I know that I know nothing, but others do not know that either ..." (attributed to Plato, Socrates, etc.) - it is very true by the way! No matter how profound your knowledge is in a given field, no matter how PRACTICALLY supported it is, never live with the great confidence that you know and everything is clear to you! Maybe after decades of comfortable existence with the self-confidence that everything on a given topic is clear to you, a tiny "stone" from a new practical experience or information will appear, which "will turn your cart over"! Over time, one learns that such "stones" are the rule rather than the exception, so his "supreme knowledge" is nothing but some temporary and unenviable level on the way to the Absolute ... This is basically. Overcome your inhibitions and your fear of rejection! Overcome the illusion that you know and you understand everything! Grab the ass of the first girl in front of your eyes, and no matter how inappropriate it seems to you, start BUILDING something with him (relationship) - give your best! Even if you don't succeed from your first attempt in your endeavor, and if you don't hit the jackpot out of volley, this will bring you invaluable PRACTICAL experience and knowledge ... IT WILL HURT, but every time it will be easier and you will paint less . In time, despite your real practical progress in the field, you will stop giving a lot of advice, because you will understand how relative and individual everything is, how times change and the people in them - too. You will begin to derive much deeper and more fundamental principles from Being ... Remember in the future - is there such a "illogical" somewhere discrepancy between theory, self-confidence and practical results - it is necessary to completely reconsider the situation - to break with some illusions, to take a few decisive steps exactly in the direction that you consider the most difficult and downright impossible. And DON'T THINK IT VERY MUCH, don't theorize it! Whatever thoughts you put in - THE FLAME OF MONEY !, but one cannot fully realize it until one tries it personally ... nor can one understand the true dimensions of scalding - how painful it can be, how long lasting and unpleasant the consequences of him ... this cannot be understood without practice. Otherwise, you can "send" many people to mate, or "teach" them how not to mate, without even realizing what you are actually doing, and without this "knowledge"
The problem is that I always try, I'm not afraid to be rejected, I overcame this fear many years ago with my first experiments with girls, but just those who notice me very quickly realize that I'm Human, and seem to take advantage of this. I know that everything I tell them just gives them some confidence, I know it's not really because of my words. And there is no question of suicide - no matter how lonely I am mentally, I love life, even as it is now, and as 1 said, as I thought many times all this waiting, in the end it would have been worth it. Otherwise, thank you Ray, I need just such constructive criticism to find where I'm wrong. from the author
Don't envy them, look why I cut these so-called heavyweights and bad boys, but I cut them, and the cool boys cut me off, they cut me off. However, I went out with a lot of people. From your whole story, I know you think you're a good boy. From then on you will find a good girl, I hope with less experience than me, because when you find her she will stay with you, and not like me to wonder which of them to go out with or cut. So don't admire the khakis - even if I'm younger than you, I'm probably still led by this column, but learn to appreciate the modest ones who have had less experience than me. If you run after the poop you will only suffer.
To number 2 - BRAVO. Did the slayer teach you? Maybe it would be good for me to push a workshop with him hehe
I'm exactly the same person, and I'm 22, I don't know why it happens, we have to be simpletons, to be nasty with the girls to like us. But there are also decent girls who will notice us :)
Hello, another such story. People, why are you so many here, and I can't meet any such good guys. Where are you hidden? Author, I would be happy to meet at least one person like you and know that there are other such simple people of both sexes. It's a pity I can't meet them live. I am both happy and I sympathize with you ... Would you share where you are from? :)
Up to №4 - for me the most important thing in a person is the character. I never judge people by their appearance, because I know that no one decides what / what will be born. I stopped watching the "beauties" who were raised in a cult a long time ago. To me, a beautiful person is a person with a beautiful and warm soul. Namely, such People are rare, because the environment in which we live makes them disguise themselves and pretend to be what they are not. Until №9 Such People are rare, because the environment in which we live makes them disguise themselves and pretend not to be. There are very few of us who are just us, and we do not hide at home because we are. Unfortunately, one of the rules forbids giving any information about us, and my comment will not be added. Otherwise, I would be happy to meet such people, because I know
number 9, I'm not the author, but I'm a boy with a similar story. First, I think that sometimes there is a difference between the way we perceive ourselves and the way we actually present ourselves. For example, a boy once told me that he doesn't like English language and culture, but tell me how to believe him when I see him burst into perfect English with pleasure and shout about Manchester and Liverpool. Also, if a boy tells you that he doesn't lack confidence in talking to girls, will you believe him if you see him stuttering and worrying about what he is going to say or start apologizing for hurting you? Otherwise, some of us spend more time at home. As a boy, I can tell you that it's extremely difficult for me to talk to a girl I meet by chance with whom I have nothing to do, but I try to change my behavior and strengthen my friendships and eventually find great love. Regarding a more serious step - I haven't kissed a girl because I haven't thought that I like someone enough to decide to start a serious relationship, but I admit that I still don't have a good practical knowledge about relationships. Besides, I think I'll look like a whore if I take a serious step with all the girls I've felt and sympathize with. Like you worry about not looking like whores if you give up quickly .. I hope I helped you with my answer. Good luck. that I still don't have a good practical knowledge of relationships. Besides, I think I'll look like a whore if I take a serious step with all the girls I've felt and sympathize with. Like you worry about not looking like whores if you give up quickly .. I hope I helped you with my answer. Good luck. that I still don't have a good practical knowledge of relationships. Besides, I think I'll look like a whore if I take a serious step with all the girls I've felt and sympathize with. Like you worry about not looking like whores if you give up quickly .. I hope I helped you with my answer. Good luck.
Number 9, maybe you're not going to the right places (I'm not saying that to annoy). People like us are not found in discos and bars :)
Number 12, the last place I would go are bars, but I will hardly meet him in bookstores or on the street, because there is nowhere else. As much as it's unbelievable in my free time I stay at home with the books, maybe that's where my problem is? From number 9
This is already banal ... '' I had to be, bad with women to like me '' squirrels ... someone if you don't like it you start screaming, stop being men. and not small pampered bastards. That's how you like it, if you like some pop-folk poop, it's like you like it, if you drive the latest BMW AUDI model, don't be surprised then. You don't notice good girls, you make fun of them, I don't know what else you do. Selfish people like that, if someone doesn't like you and you steal a ladybug, they were good, secular, and not me. Poor boys
№9 / 13 Many times I thought that we could meet such people in different courses. Personally, I intend to go to such places, but just from 8th grade I started a specialty that requires a lot of time, and now at university I do something completely different from that in school, which strains the eyes, and the psyche in general. to such an extent that I simply do not have the strength for any additional mental activity. For me, going out to restaurants is unloading. №14 I don't know to whom you directed the comment, but at least until now I haven't noticed anyone complaining that some "beauty" didn't tie him. As I wrote in comment №10, for me the character comes first, and I never see the people around me being chosen by a beauty contest. from the author
and I'm looking for several at a time. For each day of the week, I have only three outings so far and I feel underestimated and lonely by boys.
Uncle Ray showed up!