Hello! I don't know if you will publish what I will write, but I just want to write it somewhere to make it at least a little easier, if at all possible. I am 22 years old, girl, but I still wonder more and more often what is the meaning of my life? I know that most of you will attack me, that there is a future ahead of me, and so on. I don't love my life - I live it by force. From a very young age, I was left without a father. All my life at school they made fun of me and beat me. I was almost constantly compared to others. I had decent grades, but I hated going to school. I have a complicated relationship with my mother. She could never understand me, and now I live in another city and we rarely see each other. I've never had friends, nor have I ever had a boyfriend. Everyone has it, but no one looks at me, probably because I've always been uglier than others. I don't know how this happens with love ... In a very short period of time I lost almost all my loved ones. After high school I went to live with relatives to escape from the small town. Then they obliged me to continue my studies and I enrolled in a specialty that I did not want, just to study so that they would be satisfied. Now I work in my specialty - in a small and gloomy library. I have no friends, I have no friend. I think I will probably never have. I am not happy with my life and work! I hate them! I have never been brave and I cannot stand up to everyone because I am afraid of being abandoned by the few people I have left. I'm lonelier than ever! I want to scream! Very often I start thinking about death and I wish I was gone! I know maybe most of you will think I'm exaggerating or dramatizing, but yes, that's how I feel. I just needed to share it somewhere.
Answers 12
I understand. However, you are very cool. Start fitness buy new clothes. Be cool, but not arrogant. Make people look at you. Be a cool chick with strong clothes and find a nice man to love you and you will be calm. Apart from love, nothing makes sense. Only then is one happy and the other does not exist.
Hello. I understand very well how you feel. I experienced the same thing. I am already 30 years old. By the time I was 20, everyone hated me because of my character. I didn't go to kindergarten and I didn't know how to communicate. In 7th grade they ran away from me and were disgusted. If I touched an object, they would run and say it was infected and dirty. Everything alive hated me. I wanted to die. Little by little, my life began to improve. I started studying in high school. It wasn't much better there either, but at least they didn't touch me. I fell in love with the son of the chatterbox boss at school. I changed my appearance, got a haircut, painted myself, bought completely new clothes and changed. And he fell in love with me. After 1 month he dumped me because of my character. He said he was disgusting. I didn't know what to change in it. Then I finished. We've never been rich, but I made up lies so I could have friends. I was ashamed to tell them that my mother worked in the toilets at the bus station. I was ashamed that my stepfather had become an alcoholic. I moved to a bigger city. I started from the beginning - ALONE. I gathered my thoughts. I started studying for a second higher education. I met my current husband. I'm a chief accountant now, I'm about to become an auditor. We also have a child. So, my dear, do not despair. Make a radical change with yourself. If you want, call me by e-mail. You're not alone! I wished there was someone by my side when it was hardest, but I knew I could only rely on myself. I'm a chief accountant now, I'm about to become an auditor. We also have a child. So, my dear, do not despair. Make a radical change with yourself. If you want, call me by e-mail. You're not alone! I wished there was someone by my side when it was hardest, but I knew I could only rely on myself. I'm a chief accountant now, I'm about to become an auditor. We also have a child. So, my dear, do not despair. Make a radical change with yourself. If you want, call me by e-mail. You're not alone! I wished there was someone by my side when it was hardest, but I knew I could only rely on myself.
Everyone will understand you, because there is hardly a person who has never felt the same way, but few people will have the courage to admit it, going back to those dark moments of their lives. Life in itself is not good, it is more like an arena for battles, which you can only postpone until you put the knife to the bone and you inevitably have to enter the fight. We ourselves are the ones who have to create good moments in our lives, because he himself will not give them to us. Just do what you love even in vain. I know it's not easy, but there are always ways, although in most cases they are harder to reach and do not lead us right to our goal. This is a very general advice, which at this stage will not help you at all, will not even impress you. Do you know why? Because the pain has to be experienced. No one can experience it for you and no one can "save" your situation. The only person who can do it is yourself. Just suffer everything to the end. And I hope you feel better soon.
How many times have you written I hate. There are decent people, but you don't see them. Join a group that helps others. So you will see that there are good people and you will see that there are worse than you. There is no ideal family. The others don't, .... but is that so? Dance starts, sport finds its middle. You are healthy, you are alive ... think about what to change. If you read you will always find something for clothes, clothes, style ... If you go and you will meet new people. Throw away the shackles of the past, they weigh you down.
People are very selfish beings, whatever you do will not pay attention to you. Even if you start jumping in the center, at most it will look strange and strange. Read a book, not from the clichéd nonsense about fights between elves and gays, but rather from an author like Pushkin, Vazov ... bathe and comb your hair ... life is not easy, but no one has told you that it is impossible.
I understand you very well and I sincerely sympathize with you because I have the same experience. Until one experiences a situation on one's back, one will never understand it. I am much older than you. I also had a misunderstanding with my parents and we were not spiritually close. My brother died in an accident before I was born. Unlike you, I am a rebel and I do not like to obey. I married a man much older than me and no, it wasn't for material reasons. Now I am alone, without friends and a soul mate. I work in a snake's nest, very hard and ungrateful work. I have a disgusting boss over my head every moment, who deliberately does not notice my work and efforts, but when I make a mistake he tries to crush me. There is no openness, no empathy, no collegiality, no ethics and integrity. I got a cat so I wouldn't be so lonely, but she doesn't stay with me either, she lies alone. The worst thing is that I have long since lost faith in God's support, and I know that whatever I try, I will not change my situation for the better. Every experience and hope of mine crashed into an invisible wall. I fell into clinical depression and I am not mentally well at all, although I do not stop taking medication. How much I would like to meet a person who has experienced the same problems and communicate, because others would not understand me. They can only reject and condemn. I often find people with similar thoughts and experiences on the site, but unfortunately we can only write a few lines of support and to know that we are not alone, there are others like us. But what a consolation this can be! Every experience and hope of mine crashed into an invisible wall. I fell into clinical depression and I am not mentally well at all, although I do not stop taking medication. How much I would like to meet a person who has experienced the same problems and communicate, because others would not understand me. They can only reject and condemn. I often find people with similar thoughts and experiences on the site, but unfortunately we can only write a few lines of support and to know that we are not alone, there are others like us. But what a consolation this can be! Every experience and hope of mine crashed into an invisible wall. I fell into clinical depression and I am not mentally well at all, although I do not stop taking medication. How much I would like to meet a person who has experienced the same problems and communicate, because others would not understand me. They can only reject and condemn. I often find people with similar thoughts and experiences on the site, but unfortunately we can only write a few lines of support and to know that we are not alone, there are others like us. But what a consolation this can be! I often find people with similar thoughts and experiences on the site, but unfortunately we can only write a few lines of support and to know that we are not alone, there are others like us. But what a consolation this can be! I often find people with similar thoughts and experiences on the site, but unfortunately we can only write a few lines of support and to know that we are not alone, there are others like us. But what a consolation this can be!
Go out more often. Your loneliness is more. Start playing theater and role and grab your life in your hands. Meaning is something you have to look for while living.
From the outside, your life isn't that bad, you seem to be a little depressed. Stop thinking about how unhappy you are and start enjoying the little things in life, no matter how cliché it may sound. If you have to - change jobs, working in a library at this age does not create many contacts for you, it is normal to feel alone. You can enroll in a course, you will meet even more people besides those at the university. And most importantly, start trying to like yourself, there is no way others will want to be in your company if you think negatively about yourself and the world. Success! You could very easily get out of this situation. :) M 21
It's not just you in this situation, there are many people who will understand you. Another issue is that in "real life" everyone pretends to be very optimistic, and that everything is fine ... That's just life. Something like Fight Club, there was a movie at the time. The first rule of "Fight Club" - it is not talked about. That's how it is in life ... Everyone talks about all sorts of nonsense, except for what life itself is ... It is against our biological imperative to question life itself.
I am much older than you and I fully understand you. I don't know how to be of any use to you except to send you a virtual hug. I was accepted to follow what I wanted, but in the third year I fell ill and stopped due to illness. I had a wonderful family, but in a short time I lost everyone forever. All I have left is my niece, my favorite creature. Now I am completely paralyzed, I am taken care of by strangers and I do not know what world I am in.
To - # 7 why are you such a cynical villain? If you are so strong and sublime - help, if you can't - pass; otherwise you look like a weak complex behind the keyboard :)
Yes, loneliness can lead you to the point where you think death is the only solution. It is unlikely that people avoid you because you are ugly, but rather because as a result of your difficulties you have become a more closed person and it is easier for those around them not to communicate with you. Maybe they even think that you don't want to communicate with them, that they are bothering you. You have to show them that you want to contact them. Communicates with them, looks for common themes and interests. Black Sabbath