Hello, Please support and advice, do not judge me. I am 27 years old and according to most men I am quite beautiful - I do not lack attention. My boyfriend and I have been together since four. We live together. In the beginning everything was great - he is a very handsome man, he treats me well, but somehow everything became a routine. He's a year older than me, but it's like he's become someone else. Let it flow. He works in a call center, a job he doesn't like. He complains about it, but does nothing about it. He doesn't read, he doesn't develop, we have nothing to talk about. We rarely go out anymore, there is no thrill in our lives. And I like to read, to develop, to have fun, to meet new people. And for the man I fell in love with - well, let me tell you, I didn't think it was possible to like him in the first place. We met a year ago at a psychology seminar. He was 31. I didn't like him at all when I saw him - full, insecure, he didn't know how to behave. We shared a lot with each other at the seminar. Then I realized that as a child he suffered a lot from a toxic mother, from there he did not go with women and friendships. I saw inner beauty in him and told him. But I could not accept him as a person to whom I had any interest but friendly. He finally asked for my phone, but I didn't give it to him. I know what he imagined. Months later, I saw him add me to Facebook, but to my surprise, he didn't write to me.
A month ago I was at a similar seminar again and I saw it there. But ... it was like he was a different person. I just couldn't believe it when I saw him. He was thin, strong, well-dressed, upright, smiling. He was glad to see me. He smiled, came, we talked. I greeted him what a great change I see in him. His words were "well, I decided it was high time I changed my life, I'm tired of feeling sick." The seminar lasted almost a week. During this time he paid attention to me and we talked. But he did it without being annoying. He treated me very differently - he joked, teased me, complimented me. I saw that in front of the other women he was relaxed, cheerful and that he attracted the attention of some of them. We also talked about more serious topics. He openly admitted to me that after last year's seminar he took matters into his own hands, stopped drinking, started going to a psychologist and playing sports. He said something like, "Yes, I still have problems, bad attitudes and habits. I don't know if I will clear them completely, but I will not enslave them anymore. I will live as I can and want to." By the end of the seminar I was ready to give him my phone but ... he didn't ask for it this time. We finally said goodbye, hugged, and then I felt a shiver. But that was it. A month after the seminar, we gathered the people who had visited it. And he was there. He was sitting next to me in the restaurant, we were talking, we were joking. Then we went to karaoke. We got drunk, in the end there were only three people left. He reached out to kiss me. I could not resist. He kept pushing me, but I pushed him away. I told him I was holding on to my friend. He kept insisting and I left. However, I did not stop thinking about him. He wrote to me three days later. We talked nonsense. He invited me for coffee. I refused. He invited me again a few days later. I wound up, but only as friends.
And he started kissing me again. His words were "I respect that you have a friend, but if everything was OK between you you wouldn't be here with me. If you want to be with him, go. I'll be sorry, but I won't stop you, do what's right for you. "And then I couldn't stand it and threw myself on his neck. We've been out for coffee three more times since then. He finally told me," Look, I like you a lot, but I will not wait for you all my life. Clarify your relationship with your friend and decide what you want. If you don't want to be with me, we stop here and remain just friends. But I won't wait long for you. "Please tell me what to do? I didn't expect it to get here, but he's very attractive to me, I even dreamed we were having sex. We have so much in common that we talk about He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and he is struggling. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him. And then I couldn't stand it and threw myself on his neck. Since then we have gone out for coffee three more times. Last time he told me, "Look, I like you very much, but I won't wait for you for the rest of my life. Clarify your relationship with your friend and decide what you want. If you don't want to be with me, we stop here and remain friends. But we won't I have been waiting for you for a long time. " Please tell me what to do? I didn't expect to get here, but he attracted me terribly, I even dreamed we were having sex. We have so many things in common that we talk about.
He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and fights. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him. And then I couldn't stand it and threw myself on his neck. Since then we have gone out for coffee three more times. Last time he told me, "Look, I like you very much, but I won't wait for you for the rest of my life. Clarify your relationship with your friend and decide what you want. If you don't want to be with me, we stop here and stay just friends. But we won't I have been waiting for you for a long time. " Please tell me what to do? I didn't expect to get here, but he attracted me terribly, I even dreamed we were having sex. We have so many things in common that we talk about. He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and fights. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him. Clarify your relationship with your friend and decide what you want. If you don't want to be with me, we stop here and remain just friends. But I won't wait long for you. "Please tell me what to do? I didn't expect it to get here, but he's very attractive to me, I even dreamed we were having sex. We have so much in common that we talk about He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and he is struggling. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him. Clarify your relationship with your friend and decide what you want. If you don't want to be with me, we stop here and remain just friends.
But I won't wait long for you. "Please tell me what to do? I didn't expect it to get here, but it attracts me a lot, I even dreamed we were having sex. We have so much in common that we talk about He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and he is struggling. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him. He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and fights. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him. He is terribly smart and well-read. True, he has some emotional problems, but he is aware of them and fights. He has decided that he wants to change, which makes me admire him and want to help him.
Answers 14
Yes, yes ... I know such people. They are called complexes, but you will understand this yourself, in time, of course. To tell you the truth, do what you want. From what I read, I came to the conclusion that you are quite mercantile and if I have to be honest, I think you should look at yourself from the sides and change. But this is just my opinion-opinion of a stranger, based on what I read about you. Good day.
So for you external beauty is the most important ..
Not to judge, but how, when this is the case.
Oh dear, she couldn't resist him. He used our 2-3 replicas from the pick-up and that's it. Women are so elementary. She was holding on to her boyfriend. You serious?? !! Who are you kidding? Women like to see a higher status, to see a man with ambition and if there is money it will be a big plus. Anyone else could have taken the place of the one in the seminar. It's just that you've decided that yours doesn't work, and every newcomer man is ready to put you to bed. You sound to me like a woman who can very, very easily be turned into sex for sex ... That's why relationships, marriage and all this nonsense are a complete illusion. There is only sex and interests. Your interest is to scratch both the instinct and the confidence that you are with a more successful man. And the one from the seminar should be aware that if you drop one and go with the other, in time this will be the same with him. You sincerely make me laugh at the nonsense I read. Drop your friend, you have nothing to torture him with unnecessary pretense. If it is not the one from the seminar, it will be different. At least give him a chance to meet a woman more suitable for him. But you are like the monkeys with the two branches. You know that story, don't you? Come alive and healthy. Male at 25
Well, you should definitely leave your boyfriend today. Whether you marry this one or not, because you don't love your friend, you are with him just so that you are not alone (this is what I personally condemn for both women and men - to be with someone, just for not to be alone - mega bottom). With this new one, I advise you to be very careful, because I think it is successfully manipulating you at the moment. And this 'I won't wait for you for a long time' ... - this is what only nervous parents of their children say. If I were you, I wouldn't mess with one, no matter how nice it may seem to me, no matter how much there is a need for 'rescue, care and help'. There is also the possibility that he is not a little angry with women, because before he had a not very attractive appearance, he must have been cut more than once or twice, but also having in mind, that you have already cut it once, then he may be specifically angry with you, and he has set something as a goal to take you down and fuck you, or if you still make a connection, he will actively manipulate you, he will impose on you guilt, if something in your character does not bring him, etc., can pretty much waste you mentally. Some of the people who have been crushed and rejected for a long time, at some point manage to find the strength for some significant change in their image, but internally they are still with all their emotional baggage. There is a good saying: 'The wolf changes its skin, but its temperament does not. 'Of course it may turn out that I'm not right at all and this one may turn out to be a really good person, who managed to rise above his complexes, but still be reasonable, don't rely entirely on your feelings. and if he has set something as a goal to take you down and fuck you, or if you still make a connection, he will actively manipulate you, blame you, if something in your character does not bring him out, etc., it can pretty much hurt you wasted mentally. Some of the people who have been crushed and rejected for a long time, at some point manage to find the strength for some significant change in their image, but internally they are still with all their emotional baggage. There is a good saying: 'The wolf changes its skin, but its temperament does not. 'Of course it may turn out that I'm not right at all and this one may turn out to be a really good person, who managed to rise above his complexes, but still be reasonable, don't rely entirely on your feelings. and if he has set something as a goal to take you down and fuck you, or if you still make a connection, he will actively manipulate you, blame you, if something in your character does not bring him out, etc., it can pretty much hurt you wasted mentally. Some of the people who have been crushed and rejected for a long time, at some point manage to find the strength for some significant change in their image, but internally they are still with all their emotional baggage. There is a good saying: 'The wolf changes its skin, but its temperament does not. 'Of course it may turn out that I'm not right at all and this one may turn out to be a really good person, who managed to rise above his complexes, but still be reasonable, don't rely entirely on your feelings. can pretty much waste you mentally. Some of the people who have been crushed and rejected for a long time, at some point manage to find the strength for some significant change in their image, but internally they are still with all their emotional baggage. There is a good saying: 'The wolf changes its skin, but its temperament does not. 'Of course it may turn out that I'm not right at all and this one may turn out to be a really good person, who managed to rise above his complexes, but still be reasonable, don't rely entirely on your feelings. can pretty much waste you mentally. Some of the people who have been crushed and rejected for a long time, at some point manage to find the strength for some significant change in their image, but internally they are still with all their emotional baggage. There is a good saying: 'The wolf changes its skin, but its temperament does not. 'Of course it may turn out that I'm not right at all and this one may turn out to be a really good person, who managed to rise above his complexes, but still be reasonable, don't rely entirely on your feelings.
Take it
And have you tried to talk to your friend that you are bored with the old-fashioned and start doing something for the benefit of both? From what I've read so far, I've learned that you like the look. Be careful what you are doing. Don't try to throw yourself into emotions, into thrills. Don't let it go so that you go with him and he is worse than your current one, and come in again to share with us about the future Charming. ~ A
I think that at some point something inside you will dictate the right decision. Just wait ... But in passing I will ask you how much longer you plan to drive like this with your friend - without plans for marriage, for children, day for day ...
The avalanche has started: you kiss him, go out with him and think about him. You're "wet" while you're dreaming. Well, did the picture clear up? The little one, former simpletons and losers are gone. Tomorrow with this one you will find that everything is routine and the next one will "wet" you at the next seminar. Why don't you try to talk to your current one and give him the life force for change and progress? He muttered. And if the person who has lost weight takes his hat tight again and grabs the bottle again?
First, I can't help but comment that the man was the same, he just lost weight and you saw that he was getting attention from other women. She draws her own conclusions about where this is leading me. Then, as for the category of topics "should I break up with my friend for another", I feel a certain understanding towards you. So far, you've been serious, and we can't all be with the person we'll be with forever from the beginning, it could be the second, fifth, or seventeenth relationship. I'm not fully justifying you, because you still kissed him and were intimate, but you're in a relationship. Like I said, I understand that you're no longer on the same page with your boyfriend, and maybe it's all over, but here's the thing that poisons me in this picture - When things are over in your current relationship, why are you all waiting for him to show up? something better, to make the decision to break up? If it was because of relationship problems, you would break up because of them before the new person. If you don't feel anything for your friend anymore and you think you will be happy with the new one and you want to do that - do it. But for God's sake, break with the old one first before you do anything with the new one ... it's low! It's low anyway, because as I said, you all break up because of others, rarely because of relationship problems, no matter how hard you try to convince us (or rather convince yourself). These days, just for the sake of others, they dump ... I'm tired. because as I said, you all break up because of others, rarely because of relationship problems, no matter how hard you try to convince us (or rather convince yourself). These days, just for the sake of others, they dump ... I'm tired. because as I said, you all break up because of others, rarely because of relationship problems, no matter how hard you try to convince us (or rather convince yourself). These days, just for the sake of others, they dump ... I'm tired.
So how do we tell you what to do? Decide which of the two you want to be with! :) We can't choose for you. Clear your head a little, keep in mind that you are now wearing pink glasses for the new man, but after an equivalent 4-year relationship, he will not look flawed. With that in mind, compare them with each other and judge. Remember well what connects you with your old friend and whether it is worth losing him. Of course, if a relationship is exhausted, there is no point in bothering. These are things only you know.
Just choose one. People buy a house with less drama
I completely agree with number 5, you don't love your friend, you just deceive him, but most of all you deceive yourself. There's no point. Let him find his happiness. If I have to be honest, you sound simple and superficial, you liked this other one because he has a changed body and gets female attention, and before "But I couldn't accept him as a person to whom I have any interest, except friendly "- this sentence says enough! Maybe you should be left alone and sort out your thoughts and priorities. The Little Donut
Bet on the safe. You can always find a lover. We need to get rid of the cliché that we are whores and give it to whoever wants it.