At 22 I am, my daughter is 10 months old. We live with my parents, my husband is super caring, looks after the child, works, helps. My mother also helps a lot with the little one, we go out to discos and bars in the evening, but I liked another man, I've been in a relationship with him for a month and we slept once ... I know it's not right, but I feel somehow empty, I want someone to flirt with me, to compliment me, to have a thrill .... I have nothing to do with my husband. Since I have been in a relationship with the other man, I have started to smile a little more often than before and I am still unhappy that I can't go out and do what I want and every outing is tied to thousands of arrangements and schemes for who to look after the child. I'm sorry a thousand times that I gave birth ... every day I think about the day I got pregnant and I hate myself, and I pray to go back in time. All my friends have arranged their lives - dream job, entertainment, etc. n. And we always stay at home because there is no one to look after the child. I envy everyone who doesn't have children and I wonder if I will ever be happy at all. I have the feeling that these thoughts make me hate my child. It is the cause of all my inner torments ...
Answers 50
The result of infantile decisions. When fun is so important to you, you don't commit to it for long and you don't have children. Bad result for you, but now you have a responsibility to your child. And if you don't feel that way, the problem is much deeper than your unhappiness. In the meantime, you could talk to your husband about the fact that you lack caresses and passion, but of course it is easier to sleep with someone else than to say 2 words about how you feel. If you continue like this, you will never be happy for long. Relationships are built on mutual understanding, it's not like having plums in your mouth.
Ohhhh, for God's sake! Leave the child with his father and leave. This cannot be a mother. Go to discos, get drunk, have sex with everyone you meet. If that will make you happy. I feel sorry for the father and the child. What is this little guy guilty of? Tell the father that you cheated on him, that you don't want your child either. Separate and do not interfere in their lives anymore. I hope you find a real mother for the child!
When you don't want a child, why did you give birth to it, you were young for a relationship and a family ...
You are an ungrateful woman! How can you regret giving birth to a child? What do you live for? !? What could be better than a small harmless soul? It's good to have a man who helps you because it could have been worse, don't you think? There are all kinds of men, she could leave you to fend for yourself, it's hardly easy for the little man. You are an ungrateful person! You have a child and a man, what more do you need? Think about what I am writing to you. Talk to your husband more often, don't fuck him so hard. Imagine that the one you like dumps you? :)
You're super bad. This is the responsibility. I tell you that even if you are with your lover and you are tired, you will still want a new relationship. Remember that it was cool with your husband in the beginning. Even if he is satisfied with his lover, the thrill will pass and someone will appear to you who is interesting, but it borders on whoring. Take responsibility and ask yourself if you are a traitor. There is nothing better than someone loving you and taking care of you without relying on temporary feelings with the lover.
I am sorry that the child has such a "mother" ...
I have broken ideas about the world after reading. And what turns out that the child is unwanted by his mother because he can't wave that job at the discos.
we always stay at home because there is no one to look after the child. .... my husband is super caring, looks after the child, works, helps. My mother also helps a lot with the little one, we go out in the evening to discos and bars, .... You don't know what you want. You have a child and responsibilities. You have a wonderful man and you live normally, but you miss him, what? Life is not a romantic comedy. Realize it. And accept life. You contradict yourself, I copied in the beginning. I will not retell. And to regret that having a child is a sin, because you want to live as if you were 16. Grow up. And look around. When I gave birth to my child after a cesarean section, I was alone. My husband was sent by his boss immediately on a business trip, as every week. He was returning at best on Thursday. There was no word for help from anyone. I don't have a mother, only a stepmother who not only didn't help, but in the rare visits with the family I was forged only, why this was not done, why the child .... My husband has no parents. I roared in a voice of exhaustion, nerves, and insomnia. And you go to a bar and a disco, you sleep in the morning and I guess mom cooks, cleans, washes. You also have a lover, someone is looking after the child again, right? Realize how you think, have a family, a husband, help, have fun. But you can't realize it. I haven't been to a disco or bar since we had a child. I went to the market with him, to the doctor, to get a haircut. No one. Something that is not the case with you. Because you don't know what it's like to have no one. But the worst thing is sleep deprivation. Close your eyes and know that you shouldn't because you can't dump the child. And when you fall asleep, you still can't write, because homework is waiting for you. There is no one to cook for you, but I guess it's not just you who cooked,
Are you okay? how will you hate your child if you gave birth 10 months ago
And again, in time, the child will probably suffer, because a woman somewhere out there was not aware of when it was needed. Sad.
I will tell you in plain text - you are a complete egoist and a mediocre woman. it becomes clear that your main problem is that you can no longer go to discos where you will be taken down. yes I have your problems. here is a piece of advice that is very fashionable lately to be given, of course, by such mediocre selfish muffins as you - yes, you are right. your child and your husband prevent you from developing as a person, from being yourself. life is too short to live it the way we do not want it to be expected of us. you don't have to care about anyone. that's why from tomorrow night you declare that you want to live your life, you make the schedule for looking after the child so that you have at least 2 evenings to go out with friends. you find a new man who makes you feel like a goddess and you start rocking regularly. and when he stops complimenting you, you start flirting with the next one. I mean, you're a woman and you deserve all the world's attention. I drift ... I can assure you that with this way of thinking sooner or later you will step on the hoe and then your life will turn 180 degrees. and then you will understand what you had and lost. But that's the way it should be. There must be people like you.
I pray that the story is a fabrication. How can a mother think that? Animals raise their young, and you pray to get rid of it.
To envy someone for not having children is abnormal. But that's right, when you decided to get married and have a child, not because you were in love with this person and you wanted a child from him, but just because you wanted to get married. Or to give birth. Or maybe you got pregnant without wanting to.
You pretend to leave, and then you stay at home. Good thing the man is helping ..
What's better than what you have? Too bad for the child. You have no morals. Do you miss an unexperienced childhood, huh? Do you feel how light and cheap you sound for a "woman" at 22? One day you will appreciate your family, but it will be too late ... But let people like you deserve it! I hope only the little one is not affected by the negativity of your confused person
I hope you find a real mother for the child, you don't become a mother, you just gave birth to him and at the age of 22 you went to the discos. The maternal instinct will never speak
From Autorka Is it fun to go out only on Friday or Saturday night and until 12 o'clock and to squeeze all night, because you know that the oligophrenic will get bored at 7 o'clock in the morning !? !? What can I be thankful for my husband helping me !? !? Isn't he the father of this child !? !? And the fact that someone wrote how they look after their children and do everything themselves, but I'm sorry that you opened your eyes .... I don't like my life, I know that some people dream about it, but I have the feeling that being in us with everyone and I suffocate, they irritate me from the bottom of my soul. Inclined to enjoy the child, I drift ....
The author obviously has a narcissistic personality disorder. Any explanations are superfluous, because she will reject all arguments that do not fit into her worldview. On the other hand, once her husband realizes what she is and dumps her, no one will ever love her deeply and sincerely again. Not that she would recognize such a thing, only attention is important to her. Interesting when she turns 40, however, who will turn it to her.
The author, why didn't you try to think when you had to?
eeee, author, if so far I understood you at least to some extent because you are young, I'm already drunk! to call your child an oligophrenic is the pinnacle of idiocy, heartlessness, and selfishness in its worst form. I hope that one day what you dream of will happen to you: to be left alone without a family, without someone who cares about you. then you will be able to spend your days and nights in restaurants and fuck whoever you fall for. I hope at least then you appreciate the people around you
I don't know why you gave birth when you obviously didn't want to. This is one of the reasons why I am angry with the merciful hypocrites who always advise NOT to have an abortion, even when it is obvious that this child is not wanted. He is not even a child yet, he is a fetus. The best thing for everyone would be to break up with your husband and give him custody. However, try when you are alone and calm a few visits to a psychotherapist, you may be postpartum depression or something else ... do it for yourself. The positive thing is that you openly acknowledge and acknowledge (at least here) your intolerance towards your child and your husband. If you push and push ... as you put it, it seems that you can go to extremes in a fit of anger. Separation until it becomes a plague! And let your child be with him, if he is a good father he will take good care. Success! To the commenters: did you even understand her state of mind? Or are you worse than her and with pleasure with your eyes with your finger? Think about it, people!
Author, a very nasty statement, if you didn't want a child, then why did you give birth? !! Don't you know that it's too early for you to be a mother at the age of 22, at least if she had waited until 30-32. I'm number 10 and number 19 and I'm a man of almost 25, I still don't have a child. You don't know what your life has prepared for you at the age of 22 and the little one, dear at 10 months, will wonder who his mother is and what he does, hopefully your husband will realize and find another one to take care of the child.
And one more thing, when I was 22 I didn't want to have children, I will have children when I turn 45 - now life is ahead of me. Come on, good health.
The oligophrenic? !? !! What kind of person are you to talk like that about a creature that is not guilty of absolutely NOTHING! It was your choice to give birth to him, aren't you ashamed to talk about your own baby like that? Even if this story is a fabrication, it is still not normal to use such epithets! Isn't it most logical to ask you why you just don't break up with your husband and child, who obviously interfere with your social life and even more obviously don't love, so that you can get rid of each other's presence? I really feel sorry for your child. I feel sorry because YOU are the only thing he needs, and you talk and think about him in a way that is obscene for any normal person, let alone a MOTHER. Your story has sincerely impressed me with your endless selfishness, nepukism and cruelly ugly statement about something and to something, which must be holy, namely the Child and the family. As for your femininity and lack of attention from the male sex, how many valuable men do you think would stay with you for a really long time after they realize what a lie you are? And I'm not talking about 25-year-old boys. I am talking about later in life, when you grow a little older, but your soul is still empty. What valuable man will stay with you if you don't start looking at life more deeply and more truly on your own? I do not wish you ill, although I was shocked by what you wrote. I want you to understand what is really important for you, because it's nice to go around bars and be complimented by this and that is just frivolous ... that they would stay with you for a really long time after they realized what a lie you were? And I'm not talking about 25-year-old boys. I am talking about later in life, when you grow a little older, but your soul is still empty. What valuable man will stay with you if you don't start looking at life more deeply and more truly on your own? I do not wish you ill, although I was shocked by what you wrote. I want you to understand what is really important for you, because it's nice to go around bars and be complimented by this and that is just frivolous ... that they would stay with you for a really long time after they realized what a lie you were? And I'm not talking about 25-year-old boys. I am talking about later in life, when you grow a little older, but your soul is still empty. What valuable man will stay with you if you don't start looking at life more deeply and more truly on your own? I do not wish you ill, although I was shocked by what you wrote. I want you to understand what is really important for you, because it's nice to go around bars and be complimented by this and that is just frivolous ... if you don't start looking at life more deeply and more truly on your own? I do not wish you ill, although I was shocked by what you wrote. I want you to understand what is really important for you, because it's nice to go around bars and be complimented by this and that is just frivolous ... if you don't start looking at life more deeply and more truly on your own? I do not wish you ill, although I was shocked by what you wrote. I want you to understand what is really important for you, because it's nice to go around bars and be complimented by this and that is just frivolous ...
Either you have postpartum depression or you are a total idiot. And as she said herself, if you had opened your eyes too;) Otherwise, calm down, there are a lot of bumps to break, if you can't stand it, dump the father and the child and leave, who's bothering you? But then you will probably have to work ...: D
Author, do not expect support and special understanding from people, given that so many women have reproductive problems and dream of having a child, but can not, their blood probably boils when they read how a mother calls her baby "oligophrenic". You are right that you should not have become pregnant and become a mother, you were too young, and with this way of thinking you may not be suitable for a mother at all, even at a later stage. Becoming a parent is not obligatory, it is a personal choice, as far as I understand it was a voluntary act on your part, no one imposed it on you by force, you had to think about it better, it's not like buying a blouse from the store , then decide you don't like it and bring it back. If you continue to behave in the same way, your child will grow up unhappy and depressed, because he will certainly feel that you do not love him. My advice is to think things over very well, I would tell you that as a parent you have a responsibility to the child, but you don't seem to feel that way, maybe in the end it's better for your husband to raise him alone with the help of grandparents, so at least the child will feel loved and wanted. Maybe one day you will be uncomfortable with yourself when you remember how you thought and what words you called your own child!
I'm sorry, author, but you're crazy. You call your child an oligophrenic, I have no words. Get away from him and your husband and don't leave the discos. If you are so smart.
You should have opened your eyes! Why did you get married and give birth at 22, when it is clear that you want to live? I'm sorry, child, NOT you. There are thousands of precautions, there are abortions, as brutal as it sounds, because people like you don't deserve to be mothers! It is clear that you do not love the child - go and leave him, to the people who really care! I guess a chalga muffin, since the highest goal in your life is to go to a disco. Julian
From everything I read, I come to the conclusion that you are small, you do not grow up and you have classic symptoms of postpartum depression. Treat me!
27 - Dude, we're about to become parents at the age of 50, because medicine has allowed it. Yes, it would be great if we were forever young, but we are not.
Come on, that's enough! The author does not suffer from postpartum depression, but at all! A woman in such a state does not want to have fun, discos and lovers! And don't excuse her for being young, until 20 years ago only, most women gave birth around her age and earlier! Don't look for a calf under the ox, it's just like that and that's it!
That's 36, I can become a father earlier than 50, it depends on the career I have about the author, a very rough story - excuse me for the expression It's even rougher to talk like that to a 10-month-old child - an oligophrenic, or the author is nerdy or depressed.
What a pea to say such ugly words! You don't deserve to be called a mother! It is understandable that it is early for you, but not to have a drop of motherly love - you are a geek I hope it is a fictional story, otherwise you are shaking
The author is not unhappy, but dissatisfied. Even if she goes to a disco twice and sleeps with five people every day, she will still be like that and this is definitely a mental problem. Whether she wants to treat him or to feel that way all her life is her decision. In both cases, he will get what he deserves. Pity only for the child and the father.
From the Author My child is not wanted by me at all, but at all. My husband caught me writing to someone else and gave me an ultimatum or a baby or a separation. I told him about the baby, but I decided to take the pills secretly and still the "oligophrenic" happened .... I didn't have the opportunity for an abortion because I was under 24/7 supervision ... Until the end I hoped to lose him, because I knew I was giving birth Did my life end and that's what happened. As for the epithets I use for the child - looking at most of the commenters they have no children, so you have no idea what it's like to scream, roar and grumble a little girl and whatever you do is always dissatisfied. I think this child is my punishment from God ... And no, I will not leave my husband, I love him and the child too, I just don't want to take care of them.
Your child's father has the right to make an informed choice. Tell him about the other man. And the child in this case will be better off living with his father or grandparents. A woman who gave birth at 20
The author, there is no one here to help you. Everyone will insult you because they don't understand you, and I won't be an exception. When you got pregnant, got married and had a baby, where were you? Or did someone else do all this for you? I understand that not everyone can be a parent and look after a family. For me, the best thing you can do is get rid of this family after you feel like it and leave your husband to fend for himself. Make a living, fuck whoever you want, go to discos until the morning. That would be better for everyone, including your husband and child, than to live in a lie and feel the resentment you pour out here. And without that, the result will be the same after one day your husband finds out what you are doing behind his back. I have nothing more to say.
Come on! Please, the girl turned to us for help! And what did he get? Hatred and misunderstanding! The Chinese have a saying, "Put on my shoes, go my way, and then judge me." We are all different. Maternal instinct is not a given. I personally made the choice not to have a child and I do not regret it. At 47, I have fun as a teenager, even though I work hard, and I don't regret ever changing diapers. Let's help the young lady with some constructive advice. Dear author, the child is already a fact. You can't turn back time and make another choice. But! The children grow, become more independent and eventually just fly out of the family nest. It's hard for you right now because the baby wants all your care. Think about the future. Strengthen the relationship with her husband. You will have time for vacations and restaurants, both for friends and for vacations. Accept that for him, your beloved husband, it is important to have an heir and be proud that you are the one who made this dream come true. Bring your family together, life is ahead of you. I know why you look away - looking for the thrill in someone else's arms. You will never find such a thrill as you will find in the shared love and intimacy with your closest person - your husband. Look at him as your best friend, share everything, including the way you feel now. He will appreciate it, believe me. I wish you a lot of happiness and to skip this emotionally difficult moment. I know why you look away - looking for the thrill in someone else's arms. You will never find such a thrill as you will find in the shared love and intimacy with your closest person - your husband. Look at him as your best friend, share everything, including the way you feel now. He will appreciate it, believe me. I wish you a lot of happiness and to skip this emotionally difficult moment. I know why you look away - looking for the thrill in someone else's arms. You will never find such a thrill as you will find in the shared love and intimacy with your closest person - your husband. Look at him as your best friend, share everything, including the way you feel now. He will appreciate it, believe me. I wish you a lot of happiness and to skip this emotionally difficult moment.
Once you have given birth to a child, you have a responsibility to it. It is not to blame for anything. Your fun should stop, because now the child is the most important. I can't even imagine how I would feel if one day I found out that my mother's biggest dream was not to give birth to me. End your relationship with that man. Your child must have a healthy family. Instead of going to your lover, spend more time with your little one.
You definitely have midwifery depression, in my opinion. There are mothers who become hellishly aggressive towards their child in this condition. People, it is not only expressed in sadness and inaction. Your husband will not understand you. See a doctor to guide you. You will be fine and everything will be fine!
of 37 Dear 44, the Chinese proverb also applies to you, refrain from philosophizing on issues unknown to you, thanks. Girl, I am a mother of two sons (I gave birth to the first one at the age of 21), do you allow me to comment? I know how children are looked after, how they roar, how they get sick, how they get dirty, how they don't let you sleep and so on ... I also know how I faint with love, how I cried with them, how it hurts me when it hurts them too , how happy I am when I see them smiling ... I will not write more, for me there are two possibilities - either the story is a provocation, or you are a sociopath, I hope it will be the first. And one more thing, even if your story is made up, this does not exclude the second option, seek help from a specialist.
I don't think you would think that if you loved the child. I also have a small child, but I didn't think so. There are times when I don't care about him, but I can't. Maybe the child somehow feels that he is unwanted and roars about it. I don't even think about discos, even though I'm older than you. It's stupid to give you such ultimatums, he just wanted it to be his. You can give him motherhood.
Well, number 41 - author, as number 39 said, you don't deserve to be called a mother, as you don't want to take care of a man and a child, live your life as you like. I said earlier that at 25 their husbands are too early for children nowadays, it's not like 10 20 years ago to have children at 20 22-25 years, think about it, I still don't have children and if I thought like you I would not write this comment at all unnecessarily - Get down on the ground!
Fake! And very fat! I guess like the uncle who released it!
From the Author It is not a fake job at all, I am completely honest in everything I have written. I've been on sedatives for a few days now and I'm getting on my nerves again, it's only a matter of time before I pack up and leave. Now the child is sick and I can barely support her and my husband. When I hear him roar and my husband grumbles and makes me sick. I want to kill them both. I secretly thought while we were with the car, how a truck passes and sweeps us ....
To me, you are neither a woman nor a mother, but just a teenager, even though you are already 22 years old. Out of stubbornness not to be without your boyfriend, after he gave you an ultimatum (I do not agree with such blackmail) you agreed to have a child with him. Did you not think that this is your child first, and that he has no one else and second that he is a living being, a man who once brought him to this earth, you can no longer bring him back ??? Did you have plums in your mouth to talk to your friend about what worries you and why you don't want children? The other thing that amazes me is not that you have a lover or that you want to have fun at discos, but about the way you talk about your child - "oligophrenic". These are not the words of a person who understands well his new status as a parent. Parents whose child suffers from oligophrenia still do not speak for their child in this ugly way. This is a baby, your baby! You deserve a neighbor or at least your father to report you to social services, although this will probably happen when the child goes to kindergarten. Girl, don't think that the mother's absence goes unnoticed!
Abe people, are you still writing to him / her? You have to be stupid so you don't realize it's a fake. It's obvious for miles and the more you write to him, the more you entertain him. Just stop writing and you'll have fun.
For me, history is not a fake at all, I know at least two like her. Many young people themselves can not watch who family. Under this story, whatever is written will be superfluous.
The story is quite real, I also know at least one such mother as the author. Many people are not aware that in real life you are responsible for the choices you make for the rest of your life. The author had the great opportunity to choose between divorce (to be single) or a baby. She has chosen to have security with a man like her husband and, probably, full financial support, but now she is trying to look after a baby and be a mother. Well, that's the way it is, it doesn't happen here and there, but the soul in heaven. However, she can just get rid of this family and manage on her own in life. And the man deservedly got his horns, after thinking that in this way he could tie a fickle woman. Well, if one wonders why there are so many traumatized children, so many troubled families, one can imagine what kind of environment this child will live in,
It is not the child's fault, it was not conceived on purpose to irritate and stop you, it did not make the decision to give birth or have an abortion. You and your husband wanted to have a child, respectively it is your "fault", rather the responsibility. Don't make the mistake of transferring from a sick head to a healthy one. That is, giving a baby guilt or responsibility. It is not to blame. Now, you can continue to drive like this or separate from your family. But you have to make a decision once and for all. You are either a mother or you are not. If you leave, you do not return. The child is small, he will forget you easily. All his life he will wonder what is wrong with him, that his mother does not want him, what makes him worse than others. But you can't play with it and come back and leave whenever you want. That will drive him crazy. You are no longer a child, you are already a mother. The whole childhood and adolescence of your child depends on you. I understand what you're missing, but I don't understand how you imagined it? How many times do I want to take my hat and go on vacation for a week or two, to feel like before the child. But how. Not to mention how much we will miss the children as they go on their way. Try to enjoy motherhood, children grow fast.