Hello, I'm a 14-year-old boy. Well, my problem is this: I think I've developed a phobia of boys, mostly peers. In fact, this is entirely due to the fact that in grades 1-7 I was systematically harassed by peers from my and neighboring classes. Now I'm in a new school and class and I feel good there, but it's as if when I communicate with a boy I don't look him in the eye (except for a maximum of 3-4, who are my good friends and we get along well) and I'm constantly afraid of it not to make fun of me or hit me. My friends are mostly girls for obvious reasons and 85% of the people I communicate with are girls and I feel good about it, but ours say I should have a good boy friend, but if I tell them they tell me I'm suggesting something and that this is complete bullshit. Please for the slop! Thanks in advance!
Answers 12
In my opinion, in time this will pass. You will start to trust your boyfriend friends more and you will relax. ~~ nessi ~~
This is not decided from today to tomorrow, you have to see the situation and accept some things. Maybe it would be better to go to a psychiatrist / there is a school / You just feel insecure when you are among people, so you have a so-called phobia. I was in your situation, but little by little I got out, and now I'm super calm and I don't care about idiots anymore :) You're afraid they won't think you're weak, you won't be blown away at all. I guess you're also wondering whether to say "yes" or "no," which shows confusion and insecurity in you. Do not be afraid of a psychologist - he will not eat you, he will even help in time. If you are physically well, what is your problem? When I was in fear, I had the opportunity to throw everyone, but at that time I did not have self-confidence. DeVila
To tell you the truth, this is a mental problem. I'm not saying it in a bad way. You are completely normal, but your problem is on a subconscious level. Tell your parents you want to talk to a psychologist. He will help you the best. I know from personal experience. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Unfortunately, there is nothing to help you. I was also bullied as a child. There was a "gang" of idiots in our neighborhood who were picking on and harassing others. When I was little, there was even a boy who blackmailed me for money (and not just me). The brat even attacked me in front of my grandmother for no reason, simply because he had no mind in his head and was a bastard, and unfortunately the judiciary and institutions are such that they are only on paper and there are no penalties that are effective and they make people learn from their mistakes - on the contrary, they embitter them to seek revenge if they get there. From there, a phobia started with me, and in high school they also crushed me with ridicule or made fun of me and made fun of me. Many people do not understand that not everyone is prone to violence and cannot respond, but on the other hand, complexes are planted with it. People are stupid, especially boys, because there is nothing good about fighting and violence and it doesn't lead to anything better. At my graduation, I didn't want to celebrate a ball because I didn't like many of my classmates. To this day, I have ignored everyone on Facebook so that they don't see my profile. It happened to me that I didn't even want to go out or to a restaurant just to not see any of them. And this out of fear. You haven't done anything to anyone and I'm sure of that - the complexes just come out on you, because your character and culture don't allow you to be like them and they consider you weak, and unfortunately in Bulgaria the mentality has entered that the common hatred unites people. Their hatred is you, and that unites them. They are a group, but none of them are worth five bucks! You know it, because you have known them. I personally believe that life brings everything back! Do good, stay good and life in some form will give you back the good! Everyone sooner or later gets what they deserve - know!
This is in the eyes of many people. It has remained a mark since Turkish slavery, because the Turks made us look down when we talked to them.
Start training fitness or martial arts to increase your testosterone. If you train 3 times a week for 1 hour, even after only 2 weeks you will start to have increased confidence. Otherwise, I was in your situation, even worse because I'm a little squinting and so they made fun of me for not being able to imagine ... Not to mention that I couldn't play sports with the other kids because I didn't I could survive the ball properly .... When I started fitness (I was 11th grade) the attitude of others changed a lot, they started to respect me more, later at university I made new friends and acquaintances.
to 5: Not from Turkish slavery. In general, the distraction when looking at two men is done by the lower-ranking man in the specific situation. This is a kind of test - who is more serious and brave - the one who does not bother to look another in the eye. Depending on the level of testosterone, mental attitude, environment and other factors, every man can be in a high-ranking position or in a low-ranking one. For example, among his friends where a person has a rank in general, there is no problem to look another directly in the eye. For teenagers, these are especially important things (I remember that was the case with me as well). However, as a person passes the age of 20, he begins to realize that those with the supposedly high rank are in fact more often not with such a high rank ... The world is more complicated.
When you "itch" with full force, you will pass;) Suffering, 16 years.
To 7: Did you find this information on Wikipedia?
to 9 of 7: It's not from Wikipedia, it's in many places - mostly look for a body language book. Testosterone raises dominance, which leads to more aggressive behavior. The person who does not look away shows that he is more aggressive and more dominant in this way. The person who is worried looks away or down.
You can visit the school psychologist if you don't think they will make fun of you. Maybe it's because when we hear that someone has gone to a psychologist and we start making fun of each other, that's why people don't go and stay with their problems. I also want to go, but our school is small and rumors are spreading ... horror! I don't have a main reason why, but just to share what happens to me every day, how is my relationship with ours ... to share with someone, because sometimes my mother doesn't understand me, and I save my father's worries because he is far from me. And I wouldn't say the company of girls is bad, would I? I would like to have a boy friend, to talk to him normally, not to worry that he will make fun of me, as most boys at the age of 14-15-16 do :(
I think it's best to talk to a psychologist. He will certainly help you.