Hello, Maybe it has already become clear from your title that I am wrong with myself. I have a problem that I realized had actually existed for a long time, but I didn't pay any attention to it at all. My problem is mainly with people's opinion ... I'll start with the fact that recently I have a friend who is not what I expected, that is, he is not tall, he is not one of the most beautiful boys I have dated, but his soul compensates, He is an amazing person. And some torments started, but now what will people say to themselves when they see me with him, etc. So I am not a quality partner in the relationship and he feels it, I constantly try to change it, I make remarks to him, I feel doubts that do not allow me to show him my love in a meaningful and obvious way. I know that public opinion is not important and in no way defines me as a person, both me and others, but understand me it affects me a lot. Tell me what is the solution, how to get rid of this burden?
Answers 7
psychologist
Let the boy find a girlfriend to measure - to love and appreciate him as he is. And you - you take a tall handsome man to parade with him in front of people.
In principle, people do not pay so much attention to others. You are sorely mistaken if you think that as you walk down the street, someone will discuss you. You just have that feeling because you're complex. You write that he is not tall, but you do not write if he is taller than you. If he's taller than you, I don't see the problem. Plus, if you're so interested in public opinion, if he's taller than you, do you seriously think he'll impress anyone so much, even if you only make a small difference?
I'm sorry, but I wonder how one can be so stupid? If the author is 12-13 years old, she can. From there, there are already problems and severe complexes. First of all, no one cares what your boyfriend looks like, or even yourself. Accept that people have their own worries and problems and they don't care about you at all. Keep in mind that the world does not revolve around you and you are too insignificant and unknown to be interesting to public opinion. And if you truly love someone, you accept them entirely as both appearance and character. If you start with attempts at change and remarks, you will achieve nothing. A person just likes to be treated like a guilty student. You can only change yourself, not others. He works more on his own character, not his own.
It will now begin with the pseudo-moralists and their efforts at how superficial you are and how you do not appreciate the true beauty of the person next to you. Then they go to sigh at various beauties ... However, the truth is different - for a love affair there must be physical attraction. Of course, it is not possible only with him, but also without him. Leave the people's opinion and answer for yourself the question whether this person attracts you. I was in a similar situation years ago - a good and kind person, but he was not my type. I grumbled about everything, I still didn't like something, I was still not happy. I dumped him as soon as I met someone better than him. Lower, but a fact. I caused him a lot of pain and shame to myself. Don't force yourself if it doesn't come from inside you, it's hard to change your criteria and it will only bring shit to both of you.
I am 1.91 cm tall, leave it and come to me :)
And what if it's not tall? I don't see a problem in a man of normal height, not a meter long and 80s. Why did you run on these long ones. Tall men don't like me.