Hello people! I turn to you for opinions and advice and I will be grateful if I receive such. I have been a student for three years now. Until 3 months ago I had a friend. We are the same age as him. We were together for more than half a year. He broke up with me. We kept in touch from a distance because we are students in different cities. First he said he was tormented, that we didn't see each other often, and as he wanted to dump me, the next moment he told me how much he cared for me and that he still wanted us together. We saw each other, spent time together, showed each other that we loved each other. Everything was perfect. We lasted another month and he said again that he wanted to separate, but this time he was adamant. Like thunder from a clear sky, he said that things were not working out for him and that he could not keep in touch at the moment. I have to make it clear here that we didn't fight, we have not cheated and we have not done anything wrong. I put my education first, then him and our relationship. He, for his part, also put his education first, me and our relationship second. This is not just my view of things, we have said it several times. I still have feelings for him. This is the boy who made me feel wanted and appreciated. We both have problems and we tried to support each other at all times. I had another serious relationship before the one that lasted a year, and I can say that I didn't feel so good in it. My ex's most serious relationship, however, was no more than 3-4 months. He had 2 or 3 of them. And this is not because he is a womanizer or frivolous (as most people would think), he is just naive and has come across various gold diggers. I dare say that I am intelligent, good-looking and pursuing my goals, he also described me as such, and I am far from money, gifts and expensive cars. Since we broke up, I've tried to talk to him 5-6 times, but he doesn't pick up the phone and doesn't answer me if I write to him. He doesn't even open his chat anymore. From mutual friends I understand things about him and I know that he has not found another so far. I wanted to go to the city where he lives and talk to him directly, but I don't know how he will react and whether I will stress him even more. I don't know what to do. Well, here come my torments and questions. Did he think I wasn't for him because I was too ambitious and showing it Or have I offended him with something insignificant to me that he doesn't tell me about? Is distance really the reason he doesn't want to be with me? This, that he has not had a serious relationship so far is an obstacle? Or did our relationship affect his success at university? I currently have no desire to start a relationship with another. I love my ex and I'm willing to do anything to be with him, no matter how desperate it may sound to some people. I ask for advice and opinions on the whole situation.
Answers 12
I have no desire to start a relationship with another - do not. Tip - clarify. What advice do you expect? Give him medicine to make you like him? It either wants it or it doesn't. Go and find out. "Better a terrible ending than an endless horror."
The end of a relationship, unlike the beginning, does not require the mutual consent of the two. Not everyone can maintain a long-distance relationship, it's stressful. Even if you go to his city, meet him and talk, if you want to get together, sooner or later he will still think that he can not be with you in miles. Apparently it's just people who need something here and now. If it's so hard for you and you need to talk, try, in the end and if it doesn't work out you will lose only 1 day, some travel expenses and possibly one night in a hotel, but you better not hope for much. He explained the reason to you, no matter how much you dig, you will only get hurt further.
Don't make up phantasmagoric reasons why he doesn't want to be with you, but accept that he just doesn't want to be with you, because he has realized that it doesn't come from inside him to be with you. I am a woman and the opposite has happened to me. And believe me, it's very unpleasant and stressful for someone to keep pushing you after you tell them you don't want it. I strongly advise you to stop wondering if he has a new one and for his life in general. It's just nasty and depressing for him. And in time you will realize that for you too.
Don't make me laugh - a student (and younger because it was in his past) and "came across gold diggers"! ?? They're not that dumb, you know! So don't fool yourself with these excuses ....
Your ex-boyfriend is already a young man who has needs - supposedly regular sex. With this connection from a distance, he cannot satisfy his needs. I even think that he acted quite bravely and nobly, that he told you in plain text "end", because he could turn you around with a few more unsuspecting girls (respectively you). And so his conscience is clear. As for the questions that go through your head: 1. no, you are not too ambitious for him. 2. no, you didn't insult him with something insignificant that you said. 3. distance is most likely the main reason for separation. 4. the fact that he has not had a serious relationship so far would be an obstacle in circumstances other than the current ones. 5. and how can your relationship hurt his success at university ... can you hear yourself ... Unfortunately, there is no easy way to feel better again. It will hurt, but it will pass. Don't shut yourself up at home, train, go out. Stop writing to him and yelling at him that you want to go back to him - in this way you ruin even your past chance to rethink your decision.
Because you had an incomplete relationship and you felt better in this one, now you imagined that you are very much in love. And this will pass, and it is clear to him that he does not love you and you are not interested in him at all at the moment. If you go to him at most to have the opposite effect of what you want, but at least you will understand face to face who wants what. In my opinion, it finally dawned on him that serious relationships were not for him and he decided to live. So there is no "other", but there are likely to be many others. I don't understand at all the people you keep thinking of as someone you're obviously incompatible with, no matter how much you care for each other. And even less since it is obvious that the other does not care about you.
He changes them every 3-4 months. He replaced you after those 3 months with another. He is young. I justify it. It's too early for something serious. If you have time to waste, pursue it. If a man is silent, the matter is clear. No matter how interesting you think, he played you. Aren't you the only one to deal with you for the rest of his life?
You know, darling, the "why" question is the dumbest question possible. Asking us here is pointless, and even to give you an answer - what will change? !! Nothing! It doesn't matter "why"! He wanted to leave - let him! Let him go too, don't look at the past, he's obviously not your man, give yourself time and don't think about it! Live today!
There is a saying that time will tell. It is neither unique nor unique. Don't cling to someone who doesn't want you.
Away from the eyes, away from the heart. There is another where he lives.
Well, maybe he just likes gold diggers, and therefore you're not his type. Some men actually really like the women who use them. Something like "Beat me, I love you" syndrome. Don't experience it so much, many men, you will meet someone suitable for you. This one obviously isn't.
First, once you put something else before your relationship, don't roar that it's gone, but accept that fact. You probably didn't really love each other, otherwise you wouldn't have put anything else before her. Accept that true love is still in your future and move on. I would like to help you, but after reading, this is the only advice I can give you.