Hello! I write with tears in my eyes. I am pregnant with my first child. My husband and I love each other a lot, but we don't even talk to his mother. She insulted me a lot and treated me terribly, and I can't forget that. She shows no concern that I am pregnant and carrying her grandson, but my husband still wants us to name the child after her. It hurts a lot, my mother runs like crazy with me in hospitals because I have a heavy pregnancy, and she doesn't even ask her son what's wrong with me, and yet he wants us to name him after her. He told me that I was violating his dignity as a man when I took away his right to decide who to baptize him and that I had no say, once the first child belonged to his relatives, he would decide who it would be. I lost all excitement during the pregnancy, I don't want to look at clothes, cribs or anything anymore, because I feel I have no right to my own child. And it doesn't matter how much pain I go through. It hurts me because she doesn't care about my condition at all, but she still deserves the name. I had blocked her and there was no way she could write to me and ask how I was. She is aware of everything that is happening with my pregnancy, she can ask her son what is happening, but she does not and he does not see anything wrong with that. It is not possible to talk about this issue anymore, he is categorical.
I don't know what to do to make her actions and her complete disinterest shine in his eyes. I thought of something else. My due date is 25. 12. if she is born then she will be named on the holiday, but if she is not on it .. give me advice what to do .. It hurts me because she doesn't care about my condition at all, but she still deserves the name. I had blocked her and there was no way she could write to me and ask how I was. She is aware of everything that is happening with my pregnancy, she can ask her son what is happening, but she does not and he does not see anything wrong with that. It is not possible to talk about this issue anymore, he is categorical. I don't know what to do to make her actions and her complete disinterest shine in his eyes. I thought of something else. My due date is 25. 12. if she is born then she will be named on the holiday, but if she is not on it .. give me advice what to do. It hurts me because she doesn't care about my condition at all, but she still deserves the name.
I had blocked her and there was no way she could write to me and ask how I was. She is aware of everything that is happening with my pregnancy, she can ask her son what is happening, but she does not and he does not see anything wrong with that. It is not possible to talk about this issue anymore, he is categorical. I don't know what to do to make her actions and her complete disinterest shine in his eyes. I thought of something else. My due date is 25. 12. if she is born then she will be named on the holiday, but if she is not on it .. give me an advice on what to do .. but she doesn't, and he doesn't see anything wrong with that. It is not possible to talk about this issue anymore, he is categorical. I don't know what to do to make her actions and her complete disinterest shine in his eyes. I thought of something else. My due date is 25. 12..
Answers 43
If you are not married, you can record it with an unknown father and name it as you wish. If you have, you must reach an agreement, and if you fail, the midwife chooses one of the two names you suggest, as required by law. If he chooses his, you can later file a lawsuit and change his name. Can't you just name it with the first letter of this urospiya and end the dramas? So you won't say like her, you won't fight with your mother's son and you will get nervous? You made a bad choice for a man, but you are far from the only one.
Author, I understand your pain, but you better back off so you don't ruin your relationship with your husband. You can also name it after both grandmothers, no matter that it is named only after your mother-in-law. The important thing is to call it someone in order to bear their features. We are similar to the people we are named after. I am named after my grandmother, who is not a nice person. I was 3 years old when I was left with her, and I was hysterical, I didn't want to sleep. Growing up, I couldn't stand her either, I didn't know why. And at the moment I feel a terrible negativity towards her. The child intuitively feels when he is wanted. I was not wanted because she became a grandmother early and did not love my mother. That's why I'm telling you, it's a big deal to bear her name. Your child will only decide who to be close with. Enjoy your pregnancy. This is a gift from God!
What kind of man is your partner if he can't handle you two? To gather you in one place and let everyone tell you where it itches. The mother is asked about the child's name in the hospital, so give him whatever name you want.
Isn't there an option for two names, there was one child Teddy - Maria. What's his mother's name? When I gave birth to the second one, I came up with his name, didn't tell anyone and decided to say so. Will it be a girl? Now it is very fashionable for children to be fathers, you can surprise yours or a combination of two names, the second of his mother.
I think young women want attention too much because you are pregnant. What is so special about your pregnancy, is there a man on this planet who is not born of a woman? What kind of interest are you looking for, why do you think your mother-in-law owes you something just because you're pregnant? Remember that having a child is your decision, why should the mother-in-law be interested in your decisions and their results? As for the name, your husband, as much as you, is the parent of the child and has equal rights to choose his name. I have two sons and believe me I would not care when and if they will have children and how many children they will have, it is their job. I have a lot of properties, I will give a house for use to someone who respects me, if there is no one, I will rent them out, as at the moment, or I will prescribe them to a stranger for watching, and they will go to apartments, to buy property yourself. After all, the fact that I gave them life and raised them does not make me the owner of their lives, nor their debtor, nor do I have the right to interfere in their decisions so that they do whatever they decide. And if a daughter-in-law decides not to let me see her grandchildren, I will condemn her without blinking. If he sets the children against me or does not bring them up properly, he hits them or something like that, a new case, informing the institutions, taking the children away from it, etc.
Well, defend your opinion!
And why do you think that choosing a name is only your right? By law this is the right of both parents, also in the law on civil registration in Article 12 it is written that the official of the municipality has the right to choose the name of your child if there is no agreement between the parents, or if he decides that your chosen name is socially unacceptable.
Does he have more rights over your child than you? Don't let yourself be crushed, controlled and manipulated! Of course, you have to decide on the name together, but that doesn't mean he has to take it alone. You can ask everyone to make a list of names and then compare them, if there are matches, choose from them. I am also pregnant with my first child, and although I get along very well with my mother-in-law, I have stated from the beginning that we will not baptize the child of grandparents. My husband is not another Balkan Bai Ganyo and he respects my decision. But even if he didn't agree, I wouldn't back down from my decision. We will choose a name that we both like. And explain to your husband-mother's son that you have decided not to name the child after his mother, period. There is no need to pray to him and convince him. If he's a man on the spot,
To think before Ganyo swelled your belly. I used to wonder how anyone could even think of having something to do with such individuals, with whom you ruin most of your lives from the beginning, but it is already very clear to me that you are the same. To marry ... there is nothing else. You probably do not move from the city where you were born ... you are probably not even allowed to enter the living room without asking. In the 21st century, Neanderthals still baptize the children of mom and dad ... I'm sorry, bro.
You declare that if you do not choose the name of the child, you are divorcing! Let's see it then ... "No" is written SEPARATELY from the VERB, that is "I don't know" !!!
Author, I am named after my paternal grandmother, who harassed my mother both during pregnancy and before and after, and constantly imposed on her. He never defended her, he never stood up for her, he watched her being humiliated. My father pretended not to see and never took any further action. My mother always gave in so that there would be no scandals and everything would be peaceful, she always sacrificed and complied. My grandmother commanded and manipulated him all her life. My mother was always overly critical of me and constantly found flaws in me. He treated me like I was someone else's child, not hers. I think she somehow transferred some of the negative attitude towards my grandmother towards me. She teased me countless times that I was named after my grandmother and that they hadn't given her a choice, as if it was my fault and something was up to me. I never felt what it was like to have a mother who accepts and loves you unconditionally and is just happy to have you - she was always unhappy, no matter what I did - it was still not enough. Countless times I thought it was better not to be born. My sister is named after her parents - she was forgiven for everything and she always loved her more than me, she always preferred her. He almost allied himself with her against me — against a child who just wanted his mother to love him. This hurts a lot. Do not do this to your child and yourself, please. If you do not defend yours now, you will be harassed for life, and you will eat inside because you are powerless. And the negatives will go to the children. What is a man for you who, in the situation when you are most helpless and vulnerable, does not stand behind you and does not support you? If you let your mother-in-law have to now, it will crush you, and she will get carte blanche for the rest of her life to trample you and talk against you, because your husband allows it. Insist that your children not be baptized by relatives, but invent their names - so there will be no offended on either side.
Another idea, if the pregnancy is heavy, plan a section on the 25th! Although I stand behind the idea of the threat of divorce!
Horror, what a man. It's your job to name it, you wear it, not her or him. They should not have the word
After giving birth, write it as you wish. The mother asks, not the father. Tell him that he is hurting your dignity, you will not name him after his mother-in-law. You wear it. you decide. Everything else is nonsense.
Abe, you are over 18 years old, take your life and separate yourself financially, emotionally from mom and dad, family, etc. When you both realize it, we will not have these problems.
Will you finally approve these comments ??? Let the person get rid of the problems until you get better!
I have told my husband that the child will NOT be baptized by either Family! His mother is a complete lunatic and I know that if we name him someone, he will sulk, that's why he is named after himself and that's it. In the first place, you and your wish and that mother's son will be silent like an ass! Because my mother also insulted my husband and she was wrong in her words and then I quarreled with her. And it doesn't matter who you have no right to insult, you are already a family, nothing that is not by bloodline. If it doesn't deserve it, then you won't name it after her. You stand in front of him and say: we can decide together what it will be called, but it will not bear your mother's name, because I like * some name * or if you want to admit to him that she killed you terribly, but this will push him further. to mom because no man likes to talk against mom.
If your husband loved you so much, he would let you choose the name without interfering. You wear out the baby, you will give birth to it, it will be 24/7 depending on you, and someone else will decide without caring what you want? This is insolence to the point of obscenity. Do not give up your rights, these things are decided by mutual consent, and in order to be at peace with yourself for the rest of your life, let your opinion be taken into account as well!
Well, get rid of your rural complex gag.
Abe women lost, did you not understand that you should have nothing to do with the Ganyo tribe, let alone marry and have children from this lower tribe.
Explain to him that you will not name the child of a woman who has treated you badly, that it has even come to the point that you have to block her. The problem is not that she is not interested in the child, but that she has treated you that way. This child will remind you of her every day. She doesn't care. Her ultimate goal is to harass you, reminding you of yourself. Don't give up. Besides, you and your husband don't love me. No man who loves and respects you will ask you to baptize your child after a woman who has harassed you so as not to hurt his "male ego." His mother must have instilled it in him like that. In fact, there is nothing masculine about pampering mom and asking her how to name her children, but that's another topic. It's funny to me in the 21st century to follow such stupid traditions. I have an event coming up soon. All names with -ka, -ko and so on, reluctantly named after the grandmothers because of such rural Ganyovtsi, they asked me to write them affectionate names. Do you think this is OK? Can't you advocate for your child to have a normal name so that Ganyo or his mother are not offended?!? Not to mention that you may hate your child because it is named after her. Don't give up. You tell him it won't be named after the old witch and the dot. If she insists, to pack her bags and go with her mother to have children and baptize them. She will harass you, instead of protecting you, he will make you baptize your child after her. I would throw his luggage directly. You tell him it won't be named after the old witch and the dot. If she insists, to pack her bags and go with her mother to have children and baptize them. She will harass you, instead of protecting you, he will make you baptize your child after her. I would throw his luggage directly. You tell him it won't be named after the old witch and the dot. If she insists, to pack her bags and go with her mother to have children and baptize them. She will harass you, instead of protecting you, he will make you baptize your child after her. I would throw his luggage directly.
It is not bad to baptize the children of grandparents, the problem is that people lie that I will watch them help, etc .. deserves this person who has helped you in every way and you know that you can always count to him.
How foolish you think that if the child is not named after the mother-in-law, you are punishing her that way. No matter how you name him, he will still be her grandson. Her mother-in-law sleeps for a name to the point of serving her daughter-in-law a name. That you can baptize children according to who helped how much. She did not choose her own name to like it so much. The child and Aisha to write it will again carry her genes. And according to popular belief, the child is visually and character-wise most similar to the one of the family that the mother hates the most. You can't change the resemblance to the genus, nor can the DNA connection. It is such a silly claim that the mother-in-law should have earned her name by serving with aid, which is ridiculous.
There are people who stick to traditions and they must be respected. It doesn't matter that the grandmother is bad and is harassing you. The child will love his grandmother in spite of your relationship and will be proud of his name.
Imagine the situation - you baptize your child to someone you can't stand and after a while you divorce your husband (sooner or later it will happen). Then your child is left with the name of a person who is absolutely nothing to you. Do you really agree with that?
24 sounds good in theory, but in practice I don't know anyone who is proud to bear her grandmother's name - on the other hand, there are many who complain and blame their parents for naming them that way.
Abe, isn't there a mother-in-law or mother-in-law here to tell you exactly what their name problem is? Why do you want your grandson to be called like you? Will this make you immortal to live on for centuries or what? I don't get annoyed and I don't have children, ie. I am far from the problem. I'm just wondering what psychological satisfaction it would give a woman (and a man) to have a grandson named after her. Do you consider it respect or what? Is the name something like a continuation of your personality? Is there any guarantee of public recognition? Just please explain to me! I say again - I'm not picky, I'm interested.
I am proud of my grandfather's name, even though they were not on good terms with my mother (her father was) and my father. If the name is good, accept it. Just unnecessary drama. What does it matter if it's Grandma's or some modern Western name like Anthony or Jessica, for example? He will always be your child with a unique character.
23 - old mother-in-law. What folk beliefs, what nonsense he scratched. You have found something to be angry about and something to be afraid of. No one is obliged to baptize anyone, nor is it an instrument to punish a mother-in-law or mother-in-law. You think so because you are evil yourself and use everything as a tool to hurt your daughter-in-law. Author, there is a new topic here - "problems with my grandmother" and read it. The grandmother lives with her parents and causes them misery. The mother with heart disease, the grandson of sedatives because she bullies them, and the father sits on the sidelines because she was his mother and can't tell her anything. The grandson is named after her and after she moves out she wants to change her name so that she has nothing to do with this woman ...
29 What exactly was he afraid of? I am of the same opinion that no one is obliged to baptize anyone as well as that no one is obliged to "show concern" for pregnant women, nor is anyone obliged to give gifts and give their personal house / home / for free use. .
Up to 23 - very competent opinion. You must be a doctor of genetics. Author, I personally find your husband's behavior disgusting. We named my first child after my father, a beautiful Bulgarian name. My second child is named Sofia, she is not named after anyone. My husband and I just liked that name. No one has ever been angry or insulted for names. You solve these things together with your husband. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't tolerate such vulgar behavior. I do not envy you with such a man.
As foolish as it is to expect the mother-in-law to deserve the grandchild to be baptized after her, so it is foolish to expect the mother-in-law to expect the child to be baptized after her, and not as the parents judge. 23, genes and DNA I don't know why you think are a problem. After all, their son is their son, but that doesn't stop him from being a better person. The problem with mothers-in-law and mothers-in-law is not their appearance, but their character and behavior. It is absurd to expect the author to name her child after someone who insulted and harassed her.
32 a man becomes good when he is brought up well, and if the son is good then that woman has done well with raising him !!! There are no bad people raising good children. I don't see the author mentioning that the mother-in-law wants to be named after her? !? The request comes from the father, and he has a reason to behave so inexorably, because the author does not mention the reason why her husband holds her name so much, or that the author does not mention exactly how she insulted and harassed her mother-in-law. , gives you a reason to imagine what not and to claim that the mother-in-law was to blame, and whether and what happened? She may take a young daughter-in-law as an insult if her mother-in-law says that it does not seem good to visit them in a miniskirt when she is eight months pregnant. You're going to spit on your mother-in-law right away, without in this case having any specified reason and only on the basis that you yourself hate your mothers-in-law. The author's problem is that she can't get along with her husband, she doesn't claim that the mother-in-law wants something !!! After all, even if her mother-in-law is bad and manipulates her son, why did the author decide to have a child in such a slug, which is so susceptible to her mother's wishes? a slug who thinks that masculine dignity is built on command? I quote "He told me that I am violating his dignity as a man when I take away his right to decide to whom to name him" why did the author decide to give birth to a child on such a plow, which is so susceptible to her mother's wishes? a slug who thinks that masculine dignity is built on command? I quote "He told me that I am violating his dignity as a man when I take away his right to decide to whom to name him" why did the author decide to give birth to a child on such a plow, which is so susceptible to her mother's wishes? a slug who thinks that masculine dignity is built on command? I quote "He told me that I am violating his dignity as a man when I take away his right to decide to whom to name him"
33, not everything is up to education. Good people can raise bad children and vice versa. Brother and brother are not alike, no matter that they were raised by the same people. Think about it. I've seen great female females raised by terrible parents. One chooses to either become like them or deny them. You haven't read enough psychology and obviously you don't know people with two children ...
At the hospital you will be asked how to write the child, not the father do not worry.
33, you are wrong that having a literate person in front of you means that his parents did well. My husband is a great man. By comparison, his parents are irresponsible as children and have always watched and cared only for themselves. When he was little, he had to be given to a relative to keep him away from them. Later, when he applied for a university, they intervened, hindering him and sabotaging him rather than helping him. He could never count on them. They ignored him in every way. Imagine the trauma of feeling unwanted by your own parents. Well, the leading factor in shaping his character was his desire not to become like them. And he has succeeded in every way - I am incredibly grateful to have met him,
Your husband is a brainless path. What masculine dignity is he talking about when he knows how his mother treated you? Explain to him how and why you don't want him to be in her name. If it was me, I would take a female dog and name it after his mother and call him by all names all day.
And for me, as for number 36, my husband is a great man, extremely good, intelligent and educated. His parents, on the other hand, are the exact opposite - limited, rude, impudent, selfish, intriguing, speaking out against everyone, not respecting anyone but themselves. As parents, they are ... I will just say that because of their behavior towards me and him, we had to cut off contact completely. Before, we were always nervous, busy, because of the intrigues that were spreading between us, we fought over nonsense, our whole day was spent focusing on them. We are now very happy and focusing on the things that are important to us. It's just that one has to stay away from toxic people, even if they are relatives. It is wrong to tolerate everything and everyone and always you and your family to be last.
Of the 33, you have an illogical notion of a bad parent and no experience of raising older children up to the age of 25, so you think a bad parent means a parent who doesn't help physically and financially, and that's not a bad thing. Exactly the interest of the parents only from their own self, teaches the children to cope on their own, if the parent constantly does everything for his child, he will never learn to cope, let alone have the courage to at least try anything or not. cope. It is much better for the mother of a 4-5 year old child to take care of herself while he is just getting dressed and tying his shoes than for her to serve him out. №36 Your husband is so wonderful, precisely because his parents were only interested in themselves at times. If by wonderful you mean doing both your job and helping you with household chores. If indeed they were always irresponsible, he would not be healthy, and he would not even know his name, he would behave like Tarzan. As for the fact that he had to visit relatives, I don't think it's so abnormal, in some families it is necessary.
Do you live in the Middle Ages? Some people cling to tradition only when it gets rid of them. The cock woman ate for this baby! She carried it in her womb for nine months and breathed like a dog from the dawn. In the end, it turns out that she has no say and the others will decide how she will baptize her child and how she will raise him. She told you that they didn't even talk to their mother-in-law because she had offended her a lot and treated her terribly. In the end, the old fart expects the baby to be named after her. What impudence! Author, I think your husband is both a mold and a dictator, as long as he is not interested in your opinions and desires. Isn't he a Turk? Usually, this is the culture and mentality of Muslims, not Christians. Unlike Christianity, where a woman is a full 50/50 partner and her word and desires matter, in Islam a woman is a silent letter and has no rights. I guess you still see it in a good light because you're still wearing the pink glasses, but the moment you take them off, you'll quickly sober up. You say you expect the baby to be born on December 25th. This is the Nativity of Christ! When you give birth, in the hospital, you will be asked how to enroll him! If it's a boy, baptize him Hristo or Christo Until then, don't tell anyone! This is your secret and it's just for you! Tell him that when they asked you how to write it down, the name just came out of your mouth. If he doesn't like it, tell him to let someone fuck him, carry the baby in his ass for 9 months and then, when he gives birth, name it whomever he wants. Head up and don't let anyone step on you.
40 You are wrong in the topic it is NOT written "the old fart" to expect something !!! It says that the son of the old man ....., the one on the other side of the cock has requirements !!!! In your opinion, it is easy to tell the author's husband that if you understand, she decided to baptize the baby, but neither you nor I know the author's situation. Since she is so anxious to write to us here, she is therefore quite dependent on her husband. Whether the addiction is financial or physical, the author most likely has to comply. There are men who will not go to pick up a child with a foreign name from the hospital, who will not take their wife and baby home at all, and the author may not have the option to go elsewhere with the newborn. I knew a young woman whose husband didn't pick her up from the hospital because she gave birth to a girl, yes, there are also such simple men and believe me usually their wives are not very educated and financially secure so that they can handle a baby on their own. I'm not saying that the author is poor or uneducated, but she probably has something to consider with the owner of the cock. And an equal partner means both to have the right to an opinion and to comply with the opinion of the other, but also to contribute equally to the goods and property of the family. And believe me, many women get married and enter their husband's house without contributing anything financially or materially. not only to comply with the opinion of the other, but also to contribute equally to the goods and property of the family. And believe me, many women get married and enter their husband's house without contributing anything financially or materially. not only to comply with the opinion of the other, but also to contribute equally to the goods and property of the family. And believe me, many women get married and enter their husband's house without contributing anything financially or materially.
In my opinion, it is naive to think that the "old fart" did not ask her grandson to be baptized in any way, not because she cares, but simply to make her daughter-in-law dirty. She insulted her, her husband did not protect her. Apparently his mother raised him quite well and continues to raise him to respect her no matter how pigish she treats him. Insulting your child's partner is a sign of disrespect for his choice. It shows her that you have a problem accepting that your son has already grown up and that it is time for him to start his own family and that you are trying to prevent him from being happy. For the rest in the comment of 41 I completely agree. Especially if you want equality, you have to contribute equally to the family's finances. We do not live in the Middle Ages, we have equal access to education and work. The author, if she is not able to support herself, it is better not to write the child as he wants, without warning. My advice is to sit down and talk to her husband and tell him that he will not name his child after a woman who has abused her. As a compromise, she can take the first letter or invent something else with her husband. I personally do not make compromises, but I have made a bed and do not, because I am not financially dependent on anyone. Our mother-in-law harassed us too, but my husband is a man on the spot. First he talks to her without any result. Then we diluted the views, again without result. In the end, we completely cut off contact with her and to tell you, no matter how sad I am that I do not have a normal mother-in-law, I realized that she will never start behaving well with us and so we are much better. One should not tolerate toxic behavior, including from relatives. This is the right behavior, they don't spit on you, you think, that it is raining. They don't respect you, but you have to respect them, as the author's husband does. The first victim of an old mother-in-law is always her son, not the daughter-in-law.
Marriage is an equal partnership and your desires are just as important as his.