Hi, it's just very hard for me and my life is so nasty that I don't know, it's not fair for it to happen to me! Ours are divorced, mostly because of my father, who drank a lot and was always aggressive and got into a fight with my mother, me, even the little ones. I have a younger brother and sister, they are a year apart, I am a boy of 17. And after the divorce, my father had an order not to approach us and we had to take care of ourselves. My mother had to go to Greece to work to send us money to support us, and my brother and sister remain entirely with me. I can't start working on something in the summer either because I have to watch them. It costs my life, my friends are at parties, with boyfriends, at discos and I'm still at home to make them food, to see if they took a bath, if they learned, to do all the work as if I did them and I am their parent and not my brother! I always run after them because they want to go out and I don't have time for me and my life! I can't catch a friend or go out with company because I had left them alone a few times and my brother had cut himself on a glass in the bucket, where I had thrown two broken plates, and the second time he had fallen very badly while climbing. to reach neskuika. I'm super nervous, just eating, washing, cleaning, I have to do everything, and I have to study and I'm still tired and I fall asleep in a teacher, my success has dropped, but I can't be a machine !! There is another problem, my father wants to see them from time to time and I told him no, he argues with me that I can't forbid him that I was a pickle, I said that I will give him to the police if he approaches us, but he he started threatening me.
Answers 10
From now on, they will only grow and be more conscious, they have you and you, and this is a huge treasure that you will one day appreciate. I am your situation, it is difficult for me, I have no personal life, everything revolves around them, but I know that they will grow up and take their own path, and I will be free.
Everything will be fine! If you start working somewhere without your mother knowing, even at 4 o'clock, you can look for a retired grandmother to watch them for 3-4 hours a day, or for a whole day. Or set aside some of the money your mother sends you. I know it's a temporary solution and some would blame me for this advice, but it seems that you feel very bad: / do you have any grandparents to help?
Don't you have grandparents to help !? Hire a babysitter, or a housekeeper to cook, etc., hourly or for Friday, Saturday and Sunday so you can sleep. Or at least for the evening hours of Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so you can go out to a disco or somewhere with friends. You are 17 years old, you will soon finish school and you will have much more free time, you will be able to start a job and you can study higher / if you want / - distance learning, ie you will not have to go to lectures. Set aside days to have fun, to see friends, for example Friday and Saturday from 7pm to 11pm and tell your brother and sister that you want them to be obedient while they are gone and if they don't do any whites there will be prizes , small gifts, etc. If your father has a restraining order, he will not dare to do anything to you.
I am the author, in principle I have relatives but they are on my father's line and we can't stand them either, I have 1 grandmother in a nursing home and she is not well with her head. I have no one to help me, but I am afraid to leave them alone, with a babysitter is an option but I have to look for someone cheaper because our costs are high. At least for a few hours in the evening because I will really explode! A few days ago, for example, I'm out with them and I said we go home, but the little one he wants, my nerves couldn't stand it and I slapped him and he just sat on the ground and started roaring, I started pulling him to get up and he was rolling on the ground and spraying himself with a roar I was scared, a neighbor shouted that I had beaten the child that he was going to call I don't know where you are, my mother too, just crazy! I can't really handle it, then I hugged him and told him just not to do that,that I love him very much but it makes me angry but I still feel guilty every time I did it, do they consider me bad?
Be sure to talk to your mother to come and watch them. How long do you think this will continue? You will not be able to study higher or even work after graduation.
How old are your brother and sister? It is true that your mother is in trouble financially, but to leave her 3 children and go to work in Greece seems awful to me .... Will these children drive alone? They want care, attention, to whom does he leave them? Control and care from an adult is required. What if someone becomes crippled, God forbid, who will be to blame? ... You are also small and a minor, although older than the others, and this responsibility is not for you. You are a student and a young man and you have your duties and your life. How can a child look after children, I just wonder how this woman left you like that ... But what a job. Talk to your mother to come up with something, to have someone come to help you. As far as I know, leaving children under 18 alone. is a defendant, isn't it? Thus left children are at risk. If there is no way to leave the little ones in a foster family then. It is not your job to raise them. You do not have the capacity to be their parent or guardian.
How old are they? And the other introduced order, who should do what so that you are not so busy. What is your father like, so that he doesn't even approach them. First, every child needs a mother and a father. And if he behaves well and takes care, remove the stubbornness and let him help. His relatives, too. A neighbor. Looking for options. Enroll them in sports, something like that will ensure your peace somewhere. You will ruin each other mentally. Looking for an option for some hourly activities on Saturdays and Sundays.
It's not easy for you, it's true. However, you should be proud of yourself! What you do is very noble, and you don't even realize what qualities you are developing in yourself. Yes, it's true, it's more fun to be at a party, but right now you're learning self-discipline and responsibility, and in just a few years you'll appreciate it, unlike your friends, who have yet to learn how to handle it. with life. And it will be easy for you! Because you will have learned at the age of 17. Don't regret it! The parties will not escape you when you finish school, and your brother and sister will grow up a little and you will have time for parties and outings and friends. After all, they won't stay small forever, will they? In a few years you will be able to leave them alone, and your mother may be back ... things will be radically different. And last but not least, your brother and sister will understand what a sacrifice you make for them and I think this will bring you very close, and this is wonderful! Now they are small and do not appreciate it, but one day they will understand! So you have every right to be proud of yourself! And don't regret anything. What you do now for them will come back to you many times in the future in the form of love, trust, respect, and even help if one day you need it.
I am the author, I answer numbers 6 and 7, my brother is 8 years old and my sister is 9 and I did not want my mother to go anywhere, but she said if she stays here we should be miserable, she told me that I am responsible for the little ones and that if she could do it because she gave birth to me when she was 18 and she could get better and I would be able to. He just told me to endure until I graduate but that means another 2 years !!! Then he said he would find me a job in Greece and take the three of us. He told me you're a big boy I'm counting on you, yes but I can't !! I don't want to leave them to anyone else or to a foster family, I won't be able to sleep at all if they are harassed and how they are. My father is rubbish, I don't want him to come near us at all, we just ate from him, nothing else. I don't want to see him or their nasty family! It just comes to me more and to put them in order, they don't follow it, and sometimes I don't know what I'm doing once out of anger I broke a bottle in the wall next to my sister and glass shattered everywhere, and my brother went out on the road and I ran after him and they went out to deal with me because one of them just propped my legs up I have to be by their side, and that can't happen. A classmate sometimes helps me and takes them in because he also has a little sister and we study together but I can't drive him all the time, I'm just super tired of everything!
To some extent I understand you perfectly, because I have gone through a similar path, the rest I can imagine. This is not normal and it is not human and it should not happen to you. Neither you nor the other two children. You are all three equally children of your parents and you are their responsibility. They can't burden you with everything. You did the right thing with your father, man. There, obviously, everything is over in terms of parental care. Once he has alcoholism, he does not become a parent. Your mother remains. You need to talk to her until she finds out what's wrong with you and how you're feeling. She must realize that you are not your father's deputy, but her child, on an equal footing with others. To do, to cost, but to find a solution. This is her task. Why not take your young children with her? At least until you finish school. There are also kindergartens and schools in Greece. If you weren't what would he do Should he leave him alone? Then, you are entitled to financial support from your father, your mother to file a lawsuit. Whatever it is, it's money. As far as I know, there is a possibility that the state will pay them to you if the father cannot sue him later. Let your mother research and start helping herself financially this way at least. Maybe this will give her the opportunity to return to you and work for a lower salary in Bulgaria. Tell her, "Mother, your children are alone and need you. All three. I can no longer be the parent of my brother and sister. Find someone to look after them (here and give me a month or two to be able to to react), I have my life and I will not watch them anymore. Don't rely on me anymore after a while. Take them, come here, take a maid, but I can't wash them, cook for them and be responsible for two children who are not mine. " Call the National Children's Hotline: 116 111 and see what they can do to help. Talk to neighbors to stay with the children, and seek help from a teacher or school psychologist. You don't have to be alone with these things, these are problems that adults need to find a solution to, not you. F 40