Hello, my story is very different. My parents have been married for 22 years, when I was little we were a hell of a close-knit family, we were like atoms of a solid object. Ever since I was 11, and it has happened before, my father has been cheating on my mother. I've witnessed a lot of fighting, swearing and everything you can think of. My mother is a very good person, she is devoted to her family, ready to take a bullet for one of us, always willing to forgive, to help, but my father is always nervous, he erupts quickly because he is unstable. Yes, you read that correctly, he is unstable. I checked his phone, his whore's name is S., but he writes it with a male name so that we don't understand. I couldn't lie to my mother, she is the only person I rely on, I told her. My mother, of course, knew very well ... we checked her, I found out where she lives, where she works, I even found out that she has two sons, I was obsessed. I hate my father, I hate to touch him, kiss him, even touch his clothes, because I know that when he lies to us that he is at work, he sleeps with another woman. I am already 14 years old, I am familiar with our financial situation and it is not good at all, we only rely on his money and my mother's salary, which is 550 BGN. BGN 600 per month only for this loan. Our people quarrel regularly, I don't know, mom, how strong a person he is to last all this for so long ... at home the situation is never good or there is not enough money for something and this becomes a problem, or our people quarrel because of Snezhana. I realized that he gives most of his money to her, I can't stand the fact that it remains for mom to struggle with her small salary, and he feeds prostitutes. My mother is a very attractive woman, she is beautiful, I would say unique for her age - 42 years old. I always try to drool and create a cheerful atmosphere at home, it works, but my mother still thinks about it. I can't complain about my father either, because he is ready for anything for me, but I don't understand how he can have such a woman and cheat 10 times uglier. What to do, how to calm my mother, how to restore order in this house?
Answers 19
Honey, your mother has known about his infidelities for a long time. What do you think you know and she doesn't? Do not interfere in the life of your parents and most of all - do not say to your father bad things heard by your mother about his girlfriend, because you can lose him as a father. If your mother is such a cool and capable person, she will know what to do, how to earn her own money (as a prostitute), she will divorce and find a man worthy of her. You have only one father and one mother. Try to have a civil relationship with both of them and do not interfere in their personal lives, because sometimes things are not as they seem. And without that you can't change anything. They are both married, they will make the decisions. I don't understand why you're jealous of your father from the other woman. "I'm disgusted by my father, I'm disgusted to touch him, kiss him, even touch his clothes, because I know that when he lies to us that he is at work, he sleeps with another woman. "Only your mother has the right to be disgusted and angry. You are not married to your father. Seek a psychologist if you are jealous of the other woman, because this is not normal.
Look, infidelity is to your mother, not to you. I understand you, it's not pleasant at all, but this is a relationship between a man and a woman and children have nothing to do with them. You say that you can't complain about him as a father and that he is ready for anything for you - that's the important thing. His mistake is that he allows himself to spend money on the other woman, thus harming you. That is why you have the right to be angry with him, I support you. If it wasn't for the money, I'd tell you it's a perfectly normal situation in most families. But in general, you don't know exactly what his relationship is with your mother. I am convinced that even if you go out with your mother, he will continue to help you. So that's no reason for her to put up with it. It's just that women are afraid of being left alone after years of marriage. And men at this age are totally out of control. The combination is awful, as you noticed. Don't be disgusted by him, he's the same person he used to be, he's still your dad. It's just a pity that he allowed his sexual relationships to become known to you. And your mother didn't do the right thing to involve you, a 14-year-old, in the investigation of your father's mistress ... I think it's both your fault to feel so bad. I am sorry for what is happening and I wish you success! P. S: How do you resent that you give money to S. and not that you witnessed beatings ??? I have a feeling that he just mentioned this about the beatings, by the way? I may have thought so. in the investigation of Dad's mistress ... I think it's both your fault to feel so bad. I am sorry for what is happening and I wish you success! P. S: How are you so outraged that he gives money to S. and not that you have witnessed beatings ??? I have a feeling that he just mentioned this about the beatings, by the way? I may have thought so. in the investigation of Dad's mistress ... I think it's both your fault to feel so bad. I am sorry for what is happening and I wish you success! P. S: How are you so outraged that he gives money to S. and not that you have witnessed beatings ??? I have a feeling that he just mentioned this about the beatings, by the way? I may have thought so.
Leave them alone, this is their life, and if your mother doesn't mind, don't encourage her to do stupid things. Besides, she will hardly listen to your advice, you are only 14, you don't know life at all. She's had her best years with this man, she's not a disposable handkerchief, just to throw him out of her life. What is the guarantee that tomorrow will meet better? At her age and with an older daughter, and alone is very, very difficult. And you only see half the things. What if your mother ever pushed him to do something? The reasons can be countless, not just infidelity. If she is too domineering, if she oppresses him, if her parents oppress him, if she is cold in bed, if she neglects him in other ways ... In general, this problem is too complicated for you, watch your lessons and pray not to separate. .
Number 2, do not rush to conclusions, because I do not believe in spending money on the other woman when she has food a child and an apartment to pay. Don't you think that three people live on their mother's miserable patch? It is very clear that the man feeds his family, but out of anger the mother knows what she is talking about in the quarrels. What to say - does she satisfy you better than me or does she make you happier than me and that's why I'm angry? Of course he would make her a prostitute. I'm not saying she's not like that - we don't know anything about this woman, just as the author doesn't know. That is why it is good for a person to divorce on time - clear relationships. Maintaining a marriage at all costs is traumatic for children and they are left with a damaged model for a normal family.
Now things may seem very clear, simple, definite, reprehensible, etc ... But you will live a little longer, and one day you will MUST get into the situation of either your mother, or your father, or S.! Then and only then will you understand who, why and how, and how stupid you yourself were in the present moment to pass sentences, reproaches, disgust and impose your opinion without being up to date at all. Who knows a lot - always gets into the appropriate role, from which he understands that he actually knows nothing and that life is not easy, simple and unambiguous.
From the Author: Listen to me, I'm only 14, yes, but I've seen a lot of things in life. Calling me stupid, don't thank me ... Don't be disgusted by a man who melts his dick in a probably already contagious vagina and then probably wants to sleep with my mother, oh yes ... it will be disgusting to me. I'm not disgusted? Am I sick or not reading correctly? Leave them alone? Watch her cry on my shoulder? Number 3: My grandparents accepted my father as a son, my grandfather died, and my grandmother just adores him just because she doesn't know it. Yes, he spends money on it, he must support it, we are months late for bills! Number 5: No one has handed down sentences, the fact that he is a whore is not denied, if this is normal for you, then the situation is not good for you to give brains :)
Look, Author - you may not realize it, but the very fact that you imagine where your father was melting his dick is enough to look for a child psychologist. Unfortunately, both of your parents failed to provide you with a normal childhood! The mother who does not part with the man who beats her is as guilty as he is. Seek the care of a psychologist, because there is no way - it is obvious that they have already hurt you. It's not your fault, but you can scream if you keep living like this
We do not justify your father, we say that no matter how much you have seen in life, you have certainly not been involved in such a relationship. There is no way to know certain things and how in your anger towards the one who has hurt us, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes consciously, we manage to push everything alive against him. And at first, don't pay attention to them, because as they already said, you screamed. First, I don't know how you can imagine your father in this light at all, as we are set to avoid such notions. Second, the fact that a woman is a mistress (because there is a difference between a prostitute and a mistress) does not mean that she carries all the diseases known to mankind. The choice of where to melt is up to your father alone. Your mother is aware of this, she suffers a fight, etc., and her parents adore him? !! I think that she tries to cover the eyes of others with tales of a good family and a good man's problem. She is a young woman in her prime, with a relatively grown child. She can find a new man and everything. Nothing justifies her for being tolerant. And I can't excuse her for involving you in all this, it's just crazy. As your mother, I say it.
Namely, number 8, as you say - is not normal. Exactly at the age of the Author, normal people accept their parents as sexless beings, because otherwise they would scream. I can't even imagine that my father has a male attribute, let alone describe his sexual acts. Honestly, I hope the author is just repeating her mother's disgusting fantasies, not that she invented them herself, although a mother? as well ? is unharmed. I will allow myself to quote you, because no one can say it better than you. I think she is trying to cover the eyes of others with stories about the good family and the good man's problem. She is a young woman in her prime, with a relatively grown child. She can find a new man and everything. Nothing justifies her for being tolerant. And I can't excuse her for involving you in all this, it's just crazy. As your mother, I say it. "As a mother, I also say that at least 70% of the blame lies with the mother. Any normal woman would divorce and save her child from harassment, not to set him against the father, which is a great trauma for the child. The author's mother condemned her child to see her creator through her eyes and to hate her father - part of herself - which led to a serious mental disorder. The perverse description of the father's alleged sexual life is indicative. The author's mother condemned her child to see her creator through her eyes and to hate her father - part of herself - which led to a serious mental disorder. The perverse description of the father's alleged sexual life is indicative. The author's mother condemned her child to see her creator through her eyes and to hate her father - part of herself - which led to a serious mental disorder. The perverse description of the father's alleged sexual life is indicative.
Author, it is obvious that you are small and do not understand anything about relationships between people ... I do not comment much, because I know that children your age are very unoriented and out of nothing, they make a problem ... I don't think you are objective but biased. I just want to tell you that no one can convince me that he is doing something against his will! It is unlikely that your father put a gun to your mother's head and held her by force, if she felt bad, she would have left him a thousand times by now. 550 leva is not a small amount, because you think so! She just likes her life the way it is! And you do not interfere in the relations of adults at all, he is your father, this is important for you, as well as his attitude towards you. If he doesn't feel happy in his family, no matter how stupid you make jokes, he won't love your mother again!
I understand you in part, I also come from a very close-knit family. At one point, when my parents were very quarrelsome and wanted to divorce, I thought about either running away from us or (like a confused teenager) killing them. I even told them that if they separated I would run away and they would not see me again. Yes, I know it's very extreme according to most people, but we in close-knit families are like that because we're used to relying so much on our parents. I can't give you exact advice on what to do, most likely your parents will divorce at some point, but maybe they will live together because you are paying for an apartment. Unfortunately, I know of such a family. You better sympathize with your mother, don't talk much with your father when you're disgusted (or just more side topics) and so on ... Somehow you have to accept these things, I know it's very difficult, but you will be neither the first nor the last child of a failed marriage. You better not try to influence (at this stage) their relationship ...
Without reading the other comments. I guess when you're 14 you want to be treated like an adult and no matter how much it hurts you to write - let me tell you a little bit about the world of adults. People have sex for a variety of reasons. Mainly because there is attraction or love between them. And your dad, even though he's your dad, also has sex. He may have a mistress because he loves her, it may be just because of sex ... whatever pushed him there, it means he was missing something in your intimate relationship with your mother. Of course, your mother is the most beautiful woman in the world, she is your mother and mine is the same. You look at her with biased eyes and that's completely natural, but your dad may not see her that way, so here the ugly-beautiful comparison dumps him. You can't put order in a relationship between two people, and my advice is not to even try. You want to keep the familiar atmosphere or bring back the feeling of cohesion - great. Take the example and the lesson that your parents are currently teaching you, and someday, when you have a husband, make sure you create an atmosphere of cohesion. You say about your mother that she is almost a saint and this is normal, because in the situation you are in, she has taken the position of the victim who suffers and suffers. But you really don't know what's going on between them, you don't know anything. because in the situation you are in, she has taken the position of the victim who suffers and suffers. But you really don't know what's going on between them, you don't know anything. because in the situation you are in, she has taken the position of the victim who suffers and suffers. But you really don't know what's going on between them, you don't know anything.
Dear girl, ignore these thick-skinned, insensitive pseudo-benefactors. Everything is OK for them, but they couldn't believe how a child would imagine a father going to another woman and probably taking off his pants. What can a person imagine, how do they sew tapestries? They call you mentally ill because you see things as they are and call them by their real names. Here, the conclusion is that what your father really did is a disgusting act - otherwise the resigned aunts would not advise you to stop thinking about this horror. I am very curious where the eternal philosopher K-man is now, to see clearly what I mean by the fact that infidelity is a BUG and is a real ordeal for the children of unbridled males, not to mention what such a natural selection can lead to. Smart men don't cheat,
Number 13, you made half men fools just because they cheated. Most men do it, it's in nature. It's just that their wives don't always know about it. We are not reconciled women, nor thick-skinned. When you find out about the infidelity, you sit down and solve the problem with your husband - you either clarify or separate and seek your happiness separately. But the child always remains a priority, no matter what you decide. You do not investigate where she is from, where she lives and what her mistress is like with her child. The relationship between man and woman and father and child have nothing in common.
Number 13, many people want the human species to be monogamous, and so do I. But alas, monogamy in humans is the exception rather than the rule. Here's a little more information, people have written it well - "For thousands of years, the desire to have sex with different partners has been seen as a very lucrative reproductive strategy. Men and women who have cheated have had many more children, and their risk genes to disappear has been reduced to a minimum.In this line of thinking, all living people in the present are the heirs of unfaithful partners from centuries ago.Therefore, no wonder most of us have inherited this tendency to desire another lover. In males, the process of reproduction takes a few minutes - after all, it is the female who carries the baby for nine months. This is how nature works and this is how we humans survived, otherwise we would not exist. That's why we are all a generation of infidels, that's why we have this genetic rationale. And what you are talking about, that the children are suffering, is clear. But this is not as important from a biological point of view as securing another generation. The driving cause is much more important than just one child. In reality, this child may not come to life due to illness or accident, quite common in the recent past. But if a man with more children is secured, it is certain that most of them will survive. This is how instincts work, and the fact that things have been different for the last 100 years is irrelevant to the genetic program. For evolution, 100 years is like a moment. Look for 10,000, there may already be a change in the genetic program. Biological gene transfer is more important than a child's frustration. You can't understand so many elementary things. The child will experience it for sure. K-Man
A man's relationship with a woman other than the mother when he has a child has a lot in common. Author, do not pay attention to those who try to blame your mother or advise you not to get confused. You will be confused, and how else, after you bear the consequences of your father's actions. Talk to your mother to move out. There is no woman who has not dealt with her children alone in life. And once it has gotten there, to deprive you, not to pay bills, because his money is going the other way, there is no point in trying to keep something that is not there. Someone upstairs rightly said that a smart and self-respecting man wastes no genetic material, no time, no money on anything outside his family. Another issue is that most of the men are first-rate fools who would sell their mother for sex.
Well done number 16, I love people like you! The world is black and white, their life is easy ... Either you are like that or different - there is no middle ground! Everything has a label, a categorization ... A few IF ... THEN ... ELSE constructions and every decision in life is made in seconds! Praise, praise to people like you!
Author, calm down. You can see from the comments that there has been a mess in Bulgaria for a long time. Both figuratively and literally. Everyone looks at themselves, their interest and call it "love". True love has disappeared in our latitudes. And the neighbors are like you, and relatives, and their colleagues - this is life - animal sex.
listen number 16 - she was right.