I'm in a black hole and I'm stuck in one place. The more time passes, the more I despair and think that nothing will ever change. Of my friends, I have always been the strongest, I have always been the one who knows how to get out of a situation, how to cope. Yes, but now that I have failed, no one can help me. My story is like any other, common, I just can't get over it and I'm going crazy more and more. My boyfriend and I lived together for three years, after which we separated. The reasons are not important. According to our mutual friends, we just loved each other too much to survive next to each other. Almost two and a half years have passed since then. He got married this summer and his wife is pregnant. We don't see each other, but when that happens we get along well with each other, at a distance, of course, but still ... polite. The thing is that after our separation he managed to continue his life, and I did not. I tried to start a relationship, but it didn't work. And no man provokes any thrill in me. I still keep his things, I'm not ready to throw them away, I think about him, about us all the time and it hurts so much, so much. Is there a recipe for this For two and a half years I seem to be devoid of any feelings, but today when I saw him with his wife ... with his very pregnant wife ... He just came and greeted me, then I felt him again, my hands were shaking and sweating, a ball forms in my stomach, etc. You know how it is. Only he makes me feel that way. I want to deal with this whole situation, and I want a family, a child, but it's been so long and I still can't recover. Does it ever pass? Do pain and love go away? Am I able to love again? He can, why can't I? The whole story is stupid, I know, but I just want someone to show me the way, give me sensible advice, what to do, how to forget, and so on.
Answers 11
Yes, a familiar story. Unfortunately, some people find it easier to cope in such a situation, others not so much. In my opinion, however, everything passes, I say it from experience. Yes, it hurts, but even if it's a long time ... it eventually passes. And when you find a new person and look back ... you may even feel dramatized. Don't despair, my advice is to try to be optimistic and look ahead, I'm sure you won't regret it! I wish you success and good luck !!!
Yes, separation can cause great stress and great pain. I am helped by the hard work and non-stop wandering on weekends and holidays :) So I don't have much time to whine and memories. Think positive, meet people, don't shut yourself in, don't stay at home. Travel. Invent a hobby, maybe a sport. Register on a dating site. Pamper yourself. Take care of your appearance. Throw away his things. Love yourself! I wish success - to you and to myself!
It is not easy to get out of such a situation. Even I don't know if I could do it easier than you. But I don't think there is a way back. He is married and you are still in love with him and you love him. The option to get it back is gone - it's too late. The other thing is to take one direction and live your own life. It will be best to get rid of everything that brings you back to it. Try to forget him and never make comparisons with him. THIS IS JUST PASSED. You should get rid of his things and break all bridges to him - there is no going back. There is nothing accidental in this life. Maybe your separation from him is for your good and for his good. Somewhere in space, a creature that is your partner is waiting for you - do not miss the happiness that will smile on you sooner or later.
My story is similar, if not exactly the same ... And the worst thing is that with me I did everything myself. I had a nearly 9-year relationship with "my great love", which I ended myself 2 years ago for a bunch of reasons - I thought I didn't love him anymore, that we were stuck, etc. In fact, it was like that ... After that, I had two other attempts at relationships, which I stopped again. I don't know why ... I just have an inner feeling that no one is "My Man." The truth is, just like you and me, I can't fall in love with anyone after him, even though I really want to meet the Man at last. And it happened to me that he got married and was expecting a child. I'm happy for him because he deserves to be happy and at the same time I'm terribly afraid that I won't be able to get back on my feet and fall in love with someone again ... I know, that my comment is not the most useful, but when I read it and burst into tears and decided that I should write it. And the strangest thing of all is that all kinds of such stories happen to people like us, who others think are very strong. And all my friends consider me to be very strong, stable and in general for the "cool chick" ... But that doesn't help at all. But I, like others, think that for a start you have to "break with it in your head" in order to have any chance to open your heart to someone else. And why this does not work for me, it is not clear ...;) I wish you all the best! And all my friends consider me to be very strong, stable and in general for the "cool chick" ... But that doesn't help at all. But I, like others, think that for a start you have to "break with it in your head" in order to have any chance to open your heart to someone else. And why this does not work for me, it is not clear ...;) I wish you all the best! And all my friends consider me to be very strong, stable and in general for the "cool chick" ... But that doesn't help at all. But I, like others, think that for a start you have to "break with it in your head" in order to have any chance to open your heart to someone else. And why this does not work for me, it is not clear ...;) I wish you all the best!
Not only are you in love, it's normal you may never forget it, you may never forget it, but it may take longer. Time heals, not everything, but it heals. Do your best and if you really want to forget it, you better stay away from it and don't see it!
I wish you happiness and true love. M 39
Once he is married, he will have a child, just zero sense of pain, your efforts, your torments. Forgetting it will NEVER happen, try to get used to it, after all these are years of your life. To fall in love again, I guess it will happen, because obviously you are not for each other after the separation. As for the person next to you, he will come to you when you start not thinking about love ... I know it's hard, nasty and lonely, but remember that if a person is not self-sufficient, he just won't be happy with anyone, as you yourself mentioned something similar. I wish you a lot of smiles and happiness during the upcoming holidays and head up! We are all just people and everyone has a drama, it's only bad when you let it become your life! Woman // Girl // at 20
You can only be useful to yourself if you really want to. The Chinese say - no yesterday, no tomorrow, there is today and now. So harness all your will and accept that your ex already has another love. Shake yourself and move forward. You can only look around and believe. Good luck.
hello my story is a little different. I have a girlfriend with whom we have been with for 6 years, but the problem is that I am 21 years old and she is 38 years old and she has children. Do the years matter in a relationship, I love her, I can't do it without her, I have the feeling that life without me is not sick. :)
THROW HIS THINGS ..... JUST THAT
I don't know if I'm right, but I think that not being able to forget a loved one usually happens to those who caused the separation. Usually those who wanted to end the relationship and then realized that this is actually their man, that he is the most valuable to them. In my opinion, this happens because they tried something different and it didn't work out, and the one they hurt didn't deserve it at all, or at least not so guilty, he tried to bring you back, but it didn't work out. Yes, he continues because he does not feel guilty, he was just disappointed. He meets someone who loves him and that is enough for him, he knows what it is like to be betrayed, humiliated and when someone respects him he gives him his heart. And for the one who wants the separation, the one who did not fight for his relationship, but simply let it fall apart, the pain comes later, the guilt that he allowed a wonderful and important person to leave his life. This is understood later, and the fact that you are to blame is a heavy burden. Unfortunately, we are like that. Maybe the only way is to forgive ourselves. We all know that going back can not happen, the wonderful past will never go back. Live for the moment, live today, appreciate the little things, even though it's hard to see them.