Hello! I am a middle-aged man and I want to share what is happening in my life now and seek advice from people who have gone this way. More than a year ago, I broke up with my wife, living separately. We have two children, one of whom (the older one) came to me of his own free will, and the younger one lives with his mother. A few months ago, I met a woman who has been divorced for several years and also has two children. The relationship between me and this woman has deepened, and I even realize that I already love her. Physically, she is a nice woman, a very good housewife, and so far things are going very well in bed, as I feel that she cares for me and also accepts my children. We are even thinking of living together soon. But ... there are a few questions that go through my head that I haven't found an unambiguous answer to. The first thing has to do with her ex-husband - after their separation a few years ago / because of her husband's offspring / on the Saturdays and Sundays when he has the right to be with the children after the divorce, in fact he moved into their common home / after the divorce in ordinary co-ownership with the right of use by the mother and the children /, where he slept the respective days and where in practice they were together / the four /. When it was necessary to shop for the children, the four of them also went to the market, and so on. This thing only broke down after I met her a few months ago, and I made it clear that I didn't think it was right. She explained to me that there were no more feelings between them after the past years, it was all because of the children, but because of me she would break it. He has really kept his promise so far. What I'm thinking, though, is that she loves him more and the fact that they are not together now is due to the fact that he does not want to be with her. But if one day he shakes her hand, what will happen Secondly, I wonder if it is possible for a woman to love two men, but the scales will definitely lean towards her previous husband, because they have two children in common. And the third thing is about the home we would live in together. I definitely don't think this should be the home where they live now. True, it is a large and spacious home, but every piece of furniture, every part of the interior reminds everyone, including me of her ex-husband. I think it is best to rent a two - bedroom apartment, where it will be a new beginning for all of us. However, when I shared my opinion with her, she said that she had a headache at the thought of having to leave this apartment and rent it out.
Answers 3
First, we can't quite answer your questions because we don't know (and you don't know) what's going on in their home on the weekends. Ask yourself, why the man? he doesn't want to be with her once she's the perfect woman. Slow down a little ... Watch her. If you were a normal woman, I think she would come to you on Saturdays and Sundays while the man? is with the children. But anyway. And yes - will she come back to him if he wants her, because she's looking for the security of the apartment he can for me? suggested and ... she should get out of it when the kids turn 18 ... Anyway. In my opinion, only time will tell ... give her time ...
In my opinion, she is not ready for such a radical step. I'm not telling you something you haven't thought of. It makes sense to start your life together anew. For her, staying in the old home is a way to keep part of the previous status quo. Rather, she is waiting for some alternative that suits her best. Something more definite to happen - for example, to make sure that there is no way back to her husband. I do not want to say anything bad about the woman - she has the right to dispose of her life. But is such a wait good for you? You have to answer this question.
I will say what I saw and ask you something. First, why did you break up with your wife? Is the reason jealousy? Or infidelity? And I'll tell you something, if you try to separate the mother from the father of these children, they will hate you. This in turn will hinder your good relationship. I don't see why she shouldn't go out with the children and her ex-husband, she hasn't reunited with him for so long now? You should also have a good relationship with your ex-wife because of the children. What do you see in this? And for the apartment, well, if you don't like it, change the furniture and you're done. How many men a woman can love depends on both the woman and the men. ~ Ramona ~