Hello! I hope you help me through your tips. I accept criticism and attacks, anything that can be useful to me. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We live together and get along wonderfully. He is the best for me. Before him, I had two relationships, one of which was very fiery and tumultuous. Anyway, it's in the past ... The problem is this: I adore my friend. I love him with all my heart and my life without him would be unthinkable. The thing is, things don't work out in sex. There has never been passion or it has satisfied me. I got there to cry secretly while we were doing it. I don't want him to come near me at all. We've talked a thousand times about it and he knows how I feel, he's trying to make things right, but I have a feeling it's getting worse. I don't want to part. I want things to be normal as they should be, not to be done, that I'm sleeping or that something hurts so we don't have sex. He is everything to me, but he does not attract me. Please help! I hope my story is published
Answers 21
Hello. What exactly repulses you in your boyfriend - does his appearance, sex just satisfy you or ...? Does it end quickly? Is it unhygienic? What exactly is the problem?
I am a man over 30, married with a child. I think that my wife was satisfied, she had orgasms almost every time, without lies and pretense. But the same moment came, she said I was not attracted to her and she wanted to separate, she accepted me as a brother. I will tell you two things: first - even if you are not attracted to it, since you love it and want to continue with it, I do not understand what is so difficult sex by force, so there are women who accept 10 clients a day, and you with one man oh god i can't; secondly, women are very fond of thrill and emotion, but it does not feed a family, does not support serious, reasonable and calm relationships. You break only when you have lost the decent person and you have run into a lazy and selfish person.
You need professional help. In addition, read everything you come across on the topic. Discuss it and apply. You do not write what the problem is? Size, attitude .... Things are fixable if you realize it. Find the balance. Besides, there are so many things that would help you get to the end, sex toys, lubricants .....
Horror, free him from himself to find a woman who will want him.
The problem is in you. You don't love him and you have no common future. No sense in telling you now - I don't wanna ruin the suprise. Look for the right one. Success!
It does not attract you because your mind is in the other. The one with the fiery love and the stormy. You delude yourself that you love this person. No, you don't love him.
Well, so am I. My friend is very passive. I have to do everything, there is no passion in him, at times I wonder if I attract him at all. With him I do not experience what I have experienced with another, I can hardly get aroused. But with him I experience other things more platonic, which I have not experienced. We get along very well with him, he is so attentive, kind, our souls are attracted, somehow I am very attached to him, no one has been so kind to me. I will be sorry to leave him, but on the other hand I want something more passionate.
So how do you love him and not be attracted to him? This is not true love, but you love it as you love a friend
Do you suffer from a split personality - you love him madly, but you are not attracted to him and you do not want to have sex? How do you stand in such a relationship? Who told you it was a relationship? If you don't feel good in such a relationship, why don't you get out of it?
You are very bad, first realize what you want if you are not satisfied and there is no attraction, how will you love him ???
What you describe here is quite paradoxical. It's all about you and you adore it, and it got to the point of crying that it touches you. After all, you either love him or you don't. If things didn't go well and he repulsed you physically, just leave him and find another man. This will do you both a great favor. I wonder what else he is doing next to you, given that you told him about this problem. Apparently he's really sunk, or he just doesn't have much choice elsewhere. The alternative is to negotiate sex with other partners, but I guess this option is out of the question.
From the author: # 8 you are right. I love him as a brother, the question is how to change this attitude I am net. And will I even be able to start perceiving him as a man and not as a brother?
If you say you love him, dump him. This will be the greatest good you can do for him, seriously. If you ask me - you just think you love him, it's childishly simple. Don't ruin the boy's life, you can still love him in the same way as long as he has a normal relationship with another, why keep him!
You can't love someone and not want to touch them. You make a movie, you convince yourself, maybe because it's good for you, but you can't pretend to have sex. Free this man from your base hypocritical presence!
The author does not love this man of hers at all. Words like "adore" and "love" are used out of place. She adored that passionate man, and with this one she is just safe and calm. And this happens very often in women.
This man next to her is obviously financially insured, has a car, a gallant house maybe, behaves like a gentleman with her for the difference from other men and she is now making a comparison, but I dump him load sex and load big penises ... it fun or orgasm lasts minutes or hours !! me then what to do? both she wants and she doesn't have a crush .. it is very rare in this life to have a man who is gallant .. educated .. rich .. a gentleman .. to have a super car .. a nice apartment .... to be beautiful ... super body ... with a big cock ... and to be madly in love with his vein and to want to fuck her 3 times a day .. understand it already there are such men only in the movies and after many filters and various fantasies. whores are like that .. not to leave their husbands because there is security there ..
Author, you're just not in love with him and that's why he physically repulses you. You said yourself that you love him like a brother. This will not change and do not expect new feelings to flare up in you in the future. Being a good boy does not automatically make him a suitable partner for you. So calm down, it's normal how you feel. It would be abnormal to force yourself to have sex with someone you are not attracted to. It's like rape, that's why you're crying. In healthy couples, love may not burn forever, but the attraction remains in time. Don't get attached to the teenage nonsense written here about how you almost have to squeeze your rags and grit your teeth. That's why there are so many divorces and broken relationships - people just don't choose their partners well or are confused like you and go with the flow. Divide and do not doubt, and he will meet more suitable partners. Woman 33y.o.
you women are really from another planet :) I don't understand what kind of love you don't want? it's closeness / friendship, but love between partners is definitely not. you have an unequal partnership with some confused relationship (I've seen more than once), it turns out something like maternal love (if you dominate your partner) or paternal (if he dominates you) . with us men it is much clearer and more logical - I want her, so I love her, I don't want her - so I don't love her.
Divide on your own initiative. In 2-3 months things will be normal and as they should be between two friends.
You're trying to be with him. That's why it repulses you. Apparently you keep telling yourself how decent he is, but that doesn't fix the sex. You don't like sex with him and you have a right to it. You seem to feel bad. You don't owe anything. Get rid of this burden. Admit to yourself that you are unhappy in bed. Calm down mentally. Then you will decide what to do, but first you must be calm.
Author, I think you really need to sit down and clarify to yourself what exactly you want from this relationship. Can you continue to live with this love, even though the touch of your loved one is unbearable for you? In fact, it's best to both sit down and talk more seriously about the future of your relationship. I still couldn't figure out exactly what you didn't like about your intimate relationship. Do you like it when he kisses you? When he hugs you and runs his fingers through your hair? What about when you stroke your clit with your fingers, do you like it? Finally, shed light on what exactly you are uncomfortable about in your relationship. And do you like it when you touch it? Are you making French love to him? In general, I believe that platonic love is possible, but I guess there are some differences between it and brotherly love ... Sex in itself, not so important for a relationship. However, it is not normal not to have any sex, especially if you are not asexual. And most of all, it is not normal to be disgusted by the touch of your loved one. Number 17, why do you think the attraction between two people can last forever? It is much more transient than love! Our bodies change with age, our skin wrinkles, the unpleasant smell of old age appears. In addition, our sexual capabilities and desires also decrease over time. How can attraction remain the same in this situation? Love, however, can remain until the very end, as the main supporter of the relationship. It will be transformed and will not be as fiery and sensual as in the first years, but it will continue to excite the hearts of lovers. Number 18, it's not true at all that we men, after wanting a woman, so we are in love with her! This is obviously some kind of interpretation of yours. Just so you know how many times I've wished for women I know I can't have a future with. However, I wanted them irresistibly.