Hello, I will try to spare you, not to flood you with emotions and bad moods that have overwhelmed me. I had a long relationship with a boy (now 27 years old), whom I loved very much. By long relationship I mean more than 4 years. There were difficulties, but we did well. We broke up because our plans diverged. He had a great desire to travel and explore the world. I would be happy to accompany him to the most crowded place. Unfortunately, unpleasant things happened in my family. My loved ones needed me, and my mood for a "great adventure" disappeared. I told my friend I didn't want to stop him. We broke up, and although I knew it would happen, it came to me like thunder from a clear sky. He called me sometimes, like that ... To tell me how it was going. One night I told him I was in a hurry because I was going out with a friend. And now we see him, but purely friendly, I have never felt him for him. I did not give this explanation to my ex because I do not consider it necessary. It's as if I feel guilty or accountable to him. So a few weeks later we heard from each other again and he told me that he has a new girlfriend and he is not very sure if it is appropriate to talk to each other (and I loved it so much!). And I told him it would be best to stop (first shoot). So we stopped all contacts. Until he called me a few days ago ... on the pretext that he needed our friend's Skype, and he deleted it somewhere. He later asked me if I was happy now. I replied that there had been far happier moments in my life. He started to say something, and I interrupted him unintentionally (shoot number two). Then I fell silent, and there was a long silence. I asked him if he would say something, and he said, "What do you want me to tell you?" I paused again ... and then I asked him why he was looking for me after we got along. I don't think he expected to hear that (and I didn't expect to say it, but I blew it a third time). He answered simply "you're right, sorry", then hung up and I haven't heard from him since ... and that's what I want! I love him very much, but something keeps me from calling him. I don't want to be the desperate ex looking for him because he can't forget him. It's almost like that, but I'm really afraid I'll look a little pathetic. I made a mistake with this infantile behavior and I will apologize to him, tell him how I feel about him, but if he calls me. The thing is, I doubt that will happen. He made it clear that our separation was a mistake, but he must be tired of being so withdrawn. I don't know if I should call him, really. Let's say you have very, very strong nerves and you are in his place - how would you react ... and how would you act if you were mine?
Answers 12
I would call him and tell him that I miss him very much. I think you should give yourself a chance, not ask yourself all your life, what if ...
If you do not want to call, text him and make an appointment. See you, talk to him and tell him how you feel, and I guess he won't be indifferent. It can also be a lie for your new girlfriend to see your reaction. Where it burned, it will burn again. Good luck
I would call him, purely friendly. Just to see him as he is ... to hear him like that, because judging by your story and the way you describe him, he misses you. Call him and see what happens, he won't eat you.
"I miss him a lot, but I will look weak if I look for him" - On the contrary! I think you will show yourself as a strong person in front of you if you look for him. Weakness is rather what you are showing now. Pride stubbornness = stupidity. If you really love, you have to learn to swallow pride, because you will have to make a lot of sacrifices in the name of a relationship. Learning to give in does not mean that it is a sign of weakness when it is in the name of the relationship. You claim to love. Then you must act. Love is an action to a large extent. Actions and real actions. You seem to love, not act. You stand on your fictional pedestal of a big ego and stubbornly do not want to do the slightest action. Then suck the poop out of your stupidity. If one pride is more important than the other in the relationship, then be alone. There is no successful relationship and love, where everyone lies on inflated empty pride and ego. In two or three years, you can post a topic here like "What would have happened if I had looked for it ...". K-Man
Look for it, you lose nothing, you can only gain from it. Don't let your pride determine your future!
In my opinion, once he calls you and asks you if you are happy, it means that he is not happy. He probably wants you to get back together. Look for him.
If he called you and asked you if you were happy, it means that he is not happy. Probably wants to get back together. Look for him.
Author, that's how you look like a teenager - a "shoot". But he is not very mature for a 27-year-old man. When you love someone, you sacrifice for them, not to abandon them in a difficult moment for them and run to travel alone. You've got a girlfriend, okay, but why is your suggestion to stop communicating to be an offshoot? I do not understand. At first I think that there is no problem for ex-boyfriends to communicate (I do it with all of them), but at the same time I understand that there are people for whom this is a problem and I respect it. On the contrary, you did well - in order not to interfere with his new relationship, you offered to stop the communication, why a shoot? Then you interrupted him (Abe, um ... well, if he wasn't 13, if he wanted to say something, he should say it. Just like you. But you're really behaving like teenagers kissing for the first time. Look,
let's imagine I'm in his place ... amiii you left me for the family hmm. you don't love me enough. you tell me you're going out with my friend somewhere and you're in a hurry ... a huge mistake from your weird ... you ask me why I called you when we agreed to stop all contact ... I never look for you again no matter how much I want to .... because he felt kind of unwanted, maybe we could hear a Skype from a friend, etc., and maybe he wanted to talk, maybe he missed you ... if I were your sister, I would tell him about my feelings it's because a person loses nothing ...
I have a question for you, author. What zodiac sign are you? Because I already guess. But really, if you look for it, you will not look weak, only your pride thinks so, but if you do, you will win. Didn't you say you loved him? =) Kitty
You expect a profit, not a bet. In your place, I would be direct. I would say everything that is in my heart. I would explain that blinded by pain, I kept cold, but I do not want such a relationship with a person I love. I will openly say that I miss him and that I behaved like that because I thought that if I limited the contacts it wouldn't hurt so much, but it didn't work out. I will bet everything because I have nothing more to lose.
I was in a similar situation. So proud that I stubbornly do it! So these days, I read somewhere a thought that I really liked and I share it with you. "IT'S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR PRIDE, BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHEN YOU LOVE, BECAUSE YOU LOSE HIM OUT OF PRIDE!" I TOOK GOOD LUCK DEAR GIRL! CALL HIM, DON'T MISS YOUR CHANCE!