I have a friend, 8 years older than me, we have been living together for 3 years. I have a feeling that things are not going well. He never talks to me, to understand what worries me, for example, if he sees me in a bad mood, he says that I am mentally ill and I am depressed ... if I have an opinion on a topic, he always says to keep quiet that I am not sufficiently informed and he is always of the opposite opinion. He doesn't respect my work, I clean (he knows it's not my favorite pastime), and he messes up after me, and when I ask why he does it, he tells me "Who's bothering him" Is not to bother me that the cup from the coffee he can sit on the table all day, not to bother me that he enters with muddy shoes, not to bother me that my socks sit in the middle of the room, not to bother me that he turned our bedroom into a workshop .. it's full with ingots, cables, wires and what not ... don't bother me! Not to mention that he is still tired and has no time for me. He is not tired of hanging on the laptop until 2 pm, he is not tired of dealing with his car or his charks. He doesn't even want to talk to me on the phone, he didn't like talking nonsense to me, and he and his mother and sister sometimes talk the same thing for 2 hours. Not to mention that for him everything is a financial topic, he gives a lot of money for cigarettes, and I haven't bought a blouse since we've been together, I can't, what if I don't have anything to wear, he didn't have one, but he doesn't complain . That day I bought a bag for 20 leva and now there is not a day when I don't get annoyed ... my tooth broke and I went to the doctor, again a big problem, he didn't have a healthy tooth in his mouth, I was worried about one . Now you must be thinking that I am some grumbling and eternally dissatisfied aunt? No! I'm 20 years old! And I do my best for this relationship. Instead of spending 3 hours in front of the mirror fixing my eyelashes and hair, I throw in vacuum cleaners and rags and cook to make my friend feel comfortable, but he is extremely ungrateful ... even on occasions he doesn't respect me with a flower. On my birthday he told me, well, I don't have money, what to buy you, I don't want gifts, just a gesture, if he wants I will break a flower from the city garden and he will make me happy again ... and he doesn't even feel bad about it that another man handed me a flower. I went out once already, packed my bags and went to the apartment, but I realized that I had feelings and after talking to him and a bunch of promises (false) I came back. I saw some change for a while, but after another scandal he told me that I should have been grateful that he took me home. otherwise there was no one to take me ... and I dare say that I am a good looking girl, before I started with him I had many suitors, but everyone looks at me as a sexual object, and I do not need sex, but love. I want to go home and feel the comfort of home and greet me with a smile, to sit down and share who has had a day, to discuss the problems ... you know, when I run out of money he tells me "why should I wonder about where to borrow, you're fine "and I have no acquaintances or friends, we do not go anywhere, to work and vice versa. Going out for coffee for him is an illegal expense, in the cafe they will charge us 2 leva for coffee, and for 60 cents we will drink our coffee at home. He has been to discos and bars and he doesn't want to go anywhere, and he still has no money. This is not so! We can afford it, people at discos are not millionaires! And instead of sweet, sun and chicken, I am a sheep, a piece and what not ... I thought to return to my hometown to my parents, but there is no work there! I used to have friends, I went out to parties, I was wild and energetic, and now I have no desire for life, I wake up with a blank stare, I go to work reluctantly (there are hellishly negative people, colleagues ... bosses) I go home reluctantly, because the door floods me with insults, accusations. Only when I go to bed do I feel good, close my eyes and imagine my life smiling and full, the way I want it to be. Is there a man who has a bunch of negative qualities, I'm definitely in love with him. The truth is that in the beginning my friend was a different person, there was humanity in him, he surprised me, he was even romantic, and now ... I can't recognize him! Didn't the fucking money make him like that! Before,
Answers 12
At first I thought of writing to you that you are to blame for not judging it correctly. In fact, 10 seconds ago I wondered if there was any reason for this change in many people. Somehow we all become too negative, even pessimistic. Before you do anything, try to have a normal conversation with your man. I'm sure you tried, but try again. After all, you are a young person and you don't need to compromise with yourself anymore because of him. * Syndrome
... And you stay there with him ... There is a word that "when the money goes, love flies through the chimney" and it is somewhat true, but like everything there are exceptions. Everyone here would advise you to leave. And rightly so. Now after 3 years he has such an attitude towards you, but after another 3 or 6 or 9? Then it will be hell. And you will no longer be so young and endure. Appreciate your health and psyche. You seem a little reluctant to me! Tighten up and get away from this man. You may have feelings, but look at the situation this way - without him bad, with him even worse. If I were you, I would even go back to my parents. There is always a way out, just to have the desire to find it. I wish you good luck and I hope you come to your senses to leave this one :) (because in fact nothing keeps you from him) Woman 21
"But after another scandal, he told me that I should have been grateful that he had picked me up ... otherwise there was no one to take me ..." With that, you seem to have answered yourself. I think leave him if you don't want to waste your life with this man. The gray fox
"Now you must think I'm some grumbling and eternally unhappy aunt?" "Don't take offense, but just imagine it - our neighbor hardly hacks her husband more scary than you. You definitely have reasons, but you are also to blame. Didn't want to be a sexual object? Well, you're just an object with him, you're not even a sexual object, you're just furniture, a cleaner and a fool. You work, I'm sure you cover most of the costs, and you write that you've already moved out - so you're financially independent, but why are you with him, I do not understand? Can't you just move out and be uncompromising this time? To be alone, but calm? And you yourself can be comfortable in your home, why is he such a person - is he your support, lover, friend, husband? No, he is rather a vampire of energy and pulls you back, not only financially pulls you back, but also as a person. Your future is at stake if you don't change something. You're wasting your time right now. If God forbid you create a family and children with this one, you will be another dissatisfied and always screaming aunt, chasing her snotty and rude children on the streets and always dirty, because she always has to clean and tidy up after her equally ill-mannered man. Not to mention the poverty, etc., that necessarily awaits you after you go into maternity to say ... Draw the line and make your decision. You deserve love, understanding, tenderness, care ... you deserve another man, but everything depends on you ... you decide. Laura because she has to clean and tidy forever after her equally ill-mannered man. Not to mention the poverty, etc., that necessarily awaits you after you go into maternity to say ... Draw the line and make your decision. You deserve love, understanding, tenderness, care ... you deserve another man, but everything depends on you ... you decide. Laura because she has to clean and tidy forever after her equally ill-mannered man. Not to mention the poverty, etc., that necessarily awaits you after you go into maternity to say ... Draw the line and make your decision. You deserve love, understanding, tenderness, care ... you deserve another man, but everything depends on you ... you decide. Laura
Darling, sometimes financial difficulties and the fact that we have not studied prevents us from leaving a person, for the simple reason that we are lying on his back and that we have nowhere to go. But if you have studied, you have a stable job and you earn enough money for self-support, I don't see why you didn't grab your briefcase at all, what's bothering you ?? Things in a relationship always turn around, show character, be firm, men are made of steel, but in fact if they see that we are serious and determined about something that does not suit them (in this case, to show him that he can't do with you whatever he wants, that you want a boy who deserves you and that you leave), they fall to their knees and realize what they actually had. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes there is very little to call an action and an attitude a mistake, but everyone can realize that he was wrong when there was a man on the other side to show him. In the end, you have nothing to lose, guys a lot ... it's all a habit. If you keep being strong and show him that he is NOT the determinant, and you are not an eternal given, if he loves you 100% he will change in 1-2 months and will squat again, and if he does nothing, then not you he loves and time with him was lost and it just didn't make sense! :) Good luck! :) Nenn
You are very young to deal with this type of people. It's best to dump that ungrateful man and live your life. Be wild, go to parties if not now when. It is not worth being with a person who does not appreciate your work and diligence
I cried while reading your story, because I am in the same situation. but unfortunately I can't leave him because I got pregnant from him and I have nowhere to go now. my parents will kill me, but they will not accept me with a child and without a husband. at least you have the opportunity to leave him. don't think at all otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life. why ruin your life with an idiot like him when you can be happy with someone who loves and appreciates you. if I had the opportunity, I would leave immediately.
Um, of course, yes, I know this, why it's something known in advance. !! Throughout the story, you list reasons not to be with him, you don't say any to be with him ... and you stand again. So what? !! If you are really 20, leave NOW and seek your happiness! It will not get better, but it will get much worse. You're wasting your best years in housekeeping and cleaning, people your age, if they are self-sufficient, are financially torn apart by parties and discos ... If not this, something else nice ... but yours is just stupidity, in other words it doesn't occur to me ...
I just wonder about you, author, and others like you. 7, how do you get pregnant by accident, haven't you heard about protective equipment? !! Author, don't complain. I personally would not tolerate even 1 day what you describe here. And as people rightly tell you, if, God forbid, you have a child with the idiot in question, what good is waiting for you and this child? !! There are enough stories written by such children here, why don't you at least learn from them. Learn to respect yourself, for God's sake. He wasn't like that - nonsense on wheels. He was like that, but he was careful not to show it, and now he shows it with full force, because he saw that you are emotional / well, at least it is not material! / dependent on it. For God's sake, it's really your own fault that you tolerate such idiots, learn a little independence, not cling to such inferior types, and be their servants and maids! THEN there is a chance to meet the good and decent person you dream of, author. If you are reluctant and cowardly, no one can help you ... you will look for excuses: I can't do this, I can't do that, I'll stay with a jerk, I hope it changes, people, what can I do to change? !!? grow up.
Author, you don't have to break up. But it is mandatory to live separately. Everyone should work for themselves and judge how much they spend. This is the better option if you still love it. If you don't know what to do.
Run away, because this is not life for a young woman like you. Make an effort - start learning something because you have no chance without education, try in a bigger city near you. You can find a common job there and, for example, share the rent for the accommodation with another girl, while you can afford it yourself. Or even with parents, it is better than at 20 to endure neglect, even insults, to sit at home and serve this person. What if you get pregnant? As you describe it, don't think it will deal with babies. In general - be more proactive. What do you find so much in this egoist, who is messy, dirty, with decayed teeth, smokes and probably drinks, you insult ... Let me not go on, and the definitions are entirely based on your story. So don't go with the flow, do something, and if he has to know without him in the beginning. And when you arrange something for yourself / work, study, accommodation, etc./, then tell him and leave. Love was a chemistry, but it is maintained and depends on the person's attitude towards you, and it turns out that he does not even want to listen to you.
Hello! I wonder how the story unfolded. I see it's from three years ago. I have been living with such a person for 3 years and I wonder if it makes sense to wait for improvements for another 3?