I am a man of 37 years. Moderately ugly, normally poor. Tonight I realized that I didn't seem to have any friends anymore. I pretend to be a sociable person, nothing fatal has happened, and suddenly it turned out that I have no one to move with somewhere during the holidays. I have a wonderful partner, but I also need friends, damn it. I swore to several people, I'm sure that if I have a problem I will come to the rescue, but it must be a year since we did nothing together. See you at the "beer", we can not organize for anything. I'm tired of offering because it still doesn't work. And the worst part is that it seems to me that I am proposing, and the others are pulling and inventing some unique reasons. I don't want to make a woman a friend, the relationship wears out like that, and sometimes I want to communicate with someone outside. The trick is that over the years, old friends seem to have pulled away from me, and for the last ten years the people I communicate with somehow don't feel close to them at all. They are suitable for "beer", but I can't imagine going to the mountains or relaxing and getting drunk in front of them. What's more, most of them are related to work and I have to take care of my face. I was very sad tonight after another "beer", which was a waste of time. Do you think this is a normal process and I just have to get used to it or rather I am something of an annoying person that people like to play with. Let me add that my father was also a loner. As a child, I hardly saw him communicate with friends. Most of them are work related and I have to keep a face. I was very sad tonight after another "beer", which was a waste of time. Do you think this is a normal process and I just have to get used to it or rather I am something of an annoying person that people like to play with. Let me add that my father was also a loner. As a child, I hardly saw him communicate with friends. Most of them are work related and I have to keep a face. I was very sad tonight after another "beer", which was a waste of time. Do you think this is a normal process and I just have to get used to it or rather I am something of an annoying person that people like to play with. Let me add that my father was also a loner. As a child, I hardly saw him communicate with friends.
Answers 10
They have not withdrawn, and people have imposed other care on them - looking after children, for example, or everyone repairs her apartment, her villa ... Over the years, people become more passive, or rather prefer to concentrate and spend their energy on something meaningfully, instead of nonsense. If you want "friends" available at any time - head to the neighborhood drunks. They hover past a low-quality counterfeit booth. It's just that friendship is on a different basis. If this suits you - go!
Pseudo-American. As in the United States, so here life remains on a superficial level. Gathering your neighbors to cast your plate for 2 kg of meatballs and 2 crates of beer is gone. All that was left was a dream. Our society has been damaged from the bottom. Be thankful that you and your wife still get along, because this virus infects people even at the family level. "Divide and rule" Marriage contracts and 5 divorces in 10 years is something normal already ... The situation is bad, but we have to fight. I struggle to make new friends. When I invite 10 on my birthday and 2 come, I find 20 more friends for the next one and I invite 30, they come 5, but it's still better. I am currently in China for a while. Here when I invite 10, 15 come. And they even apologize to me if they can take their children and their halves and friends.
Unfortunately, it happens to almost everyone. When you are young or young you have a lot of free time and you can implement your craziest ideas with friends, but over time you graduate, start a job, start a family, have children and at some point it turns out that everyone is in need of care. and no one can afford to be as mad and spontaneous as before. I will give you just one example. My husband and I got married young and we had a lot of friends and it was a big party in the beginning. Every night after work we were somewhere with friends, every weekend out of town, and sometimes we did a lot of unplanned things. Hey, so on Friday it occurred to someone to organize a gang to jump to the sea and 1 hour after work we are all on the train. But it doesn't happen anymore. You're calling a friend, let's do something on Saturday ... but I can't this Saturday I'm going to take the child to a child's birthday, you're calling someone else ... oh, but I promised our people to go to the villa to help them with something. You call a third party ... but I will make repairs in our country and I can't leave the masters unattended ... and as they start to refuse you regularly (not that they do it on purpose, but everyone is so worried about the problems and problems that they just don't have time) you finally stop calling them. Finally, you feel like the loneliest person in the world, and on Saturday, instead of doing something crazy with your gang, you spend time like a retiree at home. And you see your friends from the rain to the wind, and only if something unforeseen does not appear at the last moment. It sucks, but this is the situation when we were 20 and a few of us had all the time in the world and it was enough for someone to give an idea and we were all online.
Hehe, read this and it's like I wrote it. Number 2 is also very right for Americanism. I was with Americans for 2-3 years and their idea of friendship was killing me. "Best Friends" behaved like in Victorian England movies. I had never seen such hypocrisy and I have never seen it before. Even in their family they keep their distance, they are careful not to be too direct, personal questions are almost not asked, because it can hit a sensitive place. I then told an American woman that by her standards my fugitive acquaintances were closer to me than her good friends. But the funniest thing was when an American woman got drunk and said a lot of things to herself. She was thrown out of the company, and I burst into laughter and took a lot of reproaches. Otherwise, we are moving in this direction here as well. It's like it's easier to live,
There is no use in you, therefore. If you had a paw around you, you would be surrounded by a dozen friends every day.
Male friendships are based on common activities, and female friendships are based on sharing. So, start doing things that you like and there will be someone to do them with - sports-football, volleyball, table tennis, walking in the mountains - excursions, hobbies-modeling, drones are especially popular. take your dog.
I am the author. Number 3 has always described him better than me. She described it well, I understand everything, but then why didn't she turn me around and I can't reconcile. I have seen people with two small children who do not mind seeing friends and pursuing their hobbies. What irritates me the most is that we only see each other on the table, and I just want the general activities and especially the walks in the mountains I miss terribly. At one time I even thought of going to a tourist club to look for one, but I felt like a loser. Anyway, I see that it is generally considered normal. Apparently it's the reason he's stabbing me. Also, when I was young, I was very annoyed with couples who are always glued together and I don't want to be a part of it.
Hello. Author, it's not just you, but many people are. This seems to be a normal phenomenon, albeit a strange one. People are really a little surprised. My father is the same. No friends. What's on his mind ... I've been thinking about the life cycle. We are born, grow and play, enter puberty when we go out with groups of people and have fun, find a mate, start a family, have children and combine work, find another / other couples with whom we have in common and we slowly become alienated from all other people .. after a while the couples we go out with get bored and slowly lose their contacts .. until finally another couple is found or they are just left alone .. In fact, now that I think about what Is it for the elderly .. especially the pensioners .. I have so many neighbors who are alone .. Now that I think about it and I'm sad, if I lived to old age, what would it be? Especially since I'm gay .. the chance to be alone is greater ..
Very interesting and current topic. I guess a lot of people have confessed. And I can line up. In general, I agree with all of you, especially number 2 and 3. Very precisely defined. To supplement the thesis, I would say that everyone feels a kind of alienation. You watch how you change, you watch people change. You learn that some things you thought at the time are not true. You learn that if you "open up to someone or the world," then it usually hurts. Ignorance is bliss, they said. You rediscover this expression every day. You realize that it used to be easier because you didn't care so much, maybe you were a little more frivolous. Over time, you realize that behind every act, word, gesture, there is something. Nothing is as simple as it seems. Everything has consequences. You just haven't seen them before. Suddenly you realize that people in general are not so cute and beautiful. And you wonder if others realize it. But in a hurry in the gray everyday life, we somehow robotize. We forget that the really important things are the little joys. You travel on the bus. A little girl turns to you and smiles at you. That's right, easy. And you smile back at him. Or maybe you crawl. Or you drive, and someone beats you. You start to wonder "what does this idiot want, we'll probably fight over something again". He leveled with you, motioned for you to take off your jam and told you, "Your gauge has burned out." You look at Mercy in surprise. And then during the routine of the day, the memory of these little things makes you smile. And you remember how rarely you do it. It used to be so easy. And that you miss him a lot. But we have already entered the tracks and things are not going as before. Maybe we hate each other a little for that. Maybe we despise. Or maybe they are too strong words. But we certainly notice it first in others, and then in ourselves. A quiet evening, as the author. We are shocked. And maybe you're trying to change things - you're trying to reconnect with old friends just to see that somehow it doesn't work out. You're trying to help someone, casually. You understand that this is a drop in the ocean. And in general, it brings you more pain because you realize how useless the attempts are, especially in the long run. How much pain there is in this world. How much pain there is under your balcony, because there may be a homeless man sleeping there at the moment, while you are warmly at home. Or trying to prove to yourself that you can go back to your previous way of life, you decide, all of a sudden, to go somewhere. Maybe some previous place where you felt great at the time. Or a whole new place, hoping to feel the thrill of the "new", the "undiscovered". You go there and you don't feel anything. Or most of the time it's not what you expected. Or not as it was before. And you feel even duller. Long story. I don't think I would say something that most people here have not realized, felt, experienced. Everyone would add a fragment and probably be right. We are talking about the same thing. In conclusion, I would recommend you to see in the tube "Lamb - Wise enough". Both the text and the video are very, very well touched and describe the problem very accurately. In conclusion, I would recommend you to see in the tube "Lamb - Wise enough". Both the text and the video are very, very well touched and describe the problem very accurately. In conclusion, I would recommend you to see in the tube "Lamb - Wise enough". Both the text and the video are very, very well touched and describe the problem very accurately.
Although I'm a lot younger than you, I don't think that's a problem for you. Watch your beautiful wife and be happy with what you have. Very often friends turn out to be bad or inappropriate. I am an individualist and I have had very little, but almost no one is left to this day, and I am only 25 years old. Maybe the problem is in me, or maybe I'm just such a person. Not that you have to be like me, but hardly having people to talk to is hardly a pain to die. It's even an advantage because you earn more time for yourself, your wife and your job. And there is no danger that someone will know your thoughts and life every day, and take advantage. I know it sounds too cautious, but ... and there is a reason for that :)) I wish you all the best!