Hello, everyone! From the title it is clear what I will ask for advice. My 14-year-old daughter has been behaving strangely for years. She was very calm, always smiling, looking for contact with everyone and telling me what was happening to her. Then something changed. She became more timid, nervous and aggressive towards the family. She became more introverted. After a while I noticed that on the hands? from time to time some cuts appear. I ask her where the excuses of the sort come from: a cat skinned me, my girlfriend wasn't very happy today and she got it on me. Several times I decided to? I trusted, but things got more serious and I doubted. Nobody wears blouses with narrower, long sleeves almost constantly, right? She locks herself in her room and stays for hours, I hear her crying, but when I ask her what's wrong she just says she's tired. I have a feeling that I lost all contact with her. When it's time for dinner, she comes to the kitchen, takes her plates and back to the room. When he touched her, she jumped back and grabbed the spot where I had touched her. Whenever I want to talk to her about everything, she acts like she hasn't heard me. I really want to help my child, but maybe my approach is not right. Any tips?
Answers 7
Do not press her and try to show not only that she can share with you, but also to gain understanding to some extent. Then it is quite likely to share in my opinion.
I would recommend you to find out what kind of people she moves with and whether she has already started having sex. Because among teenagers in the beginning it is a little depressing.
Well, you have a teenager, congratulations. In general, this soaking in the room is from the years, as well as tears, but scratches on the hands and sharp reactions are not normal. Talk to her, do certain things with her - drink coffee, go shopping / go for a walk, keep in touch with her. But don't push her too hard, because that will only repel her. Share the things you shared with us. That you worry about her, that you don't want to help her and understand what's going on with her. Talk and as if she is your friend, share, express your opinion about the things that excite her and happen to her. It won't be easy at first, but if you succeed, you won't have any more problems with it in the future.
Depression! Most likely the loss of someone - father, friend or boyfriend! It is possible that she has suffered some kind of attack - the incisors, they do it to displace the internal pain with the external or because they take control to injure themselves and not by others. I am interested in this topic ...
Read now dear mom. I'm like your daughter, cutting my arms, belly, legs and so on. Only where I'm older. There are two options for her self-harm. The first is to attract attention and to want to be sorry, but this is only if he makes it ostentatious and visible, but if he hides it and worries, then it is from the second case and just has a serious problem. Someone had said he could have sex, but no, I don't have sex and I cut myself again. Please sincerely do not judge her, do not call her, scold her like you. My mother, when she found out and threatened me that she would tell Daddy, would stop giving me money, buying me clothes and taking me to psychologists and that I was crazy. That's damn stupid. At least don't be like my mother. Go to her, tell her you know the truth and don't lie to you when you roll up the sleeve of her blouse to see the scars, just bend down and kiss them and say she's still beautiful to you. Believe me, every person who cuts himself has a dream to kiss his bezels. Ask her what happened and prove to her that it doesn't make her any less important to you, don't threaten her, listen to her, cry with her, make her strong, don't break her. Also, be careful not to manipulate her, that if you don't buy her something, it will cut because you will become a toy.
Honey, I'm not a mother, I'm not your daughter's age, but I can advise you not to put pressure on her, but just to show her that you're a friend and can count on you. Go out to the market for coffee or coffee, talk to each other ... treat her like she's your friend, not your daughter. Share your problems, etc., but do not open a word about hers! It's as if everything is fine! Because if you start talking about hers, you will make her close in on herself. So act like you need advice. Let her feel significant and proud of herself for asking her mother for advice and support. Because she is obviously in a difficult moment and depressed and you have to do everything to get her out of the hole! And then, if you manage to gain the trust as a friend, she will relax herself to talk about her problems. However, load up with patience and no reproaches or even hints that you know something is wrong! Otherwise it will get worse! Success! And you know, if you do well in years to come, you'll have a great girlfriend! Now I can proudly say that my mother is my best friend, but it took us years to achieve it. When I was as old as your daughter, it wasn't like that, we were arguing, shouting at each other ... about a typical relationship between a mother and a troubled teen.
Well ... I guess I had a similar problem, only I hid the desire to cause pain behind a supposed piercing, I was constantly breaking in all sorts of places, at one time I wore earrings on my pelvis, on my arms ... everywhere and as the piercing healed I put the next one. If a person needs to feel pain, the inside hurts a lot more, your daughter has a problem, so talk to her because one day she may stab the knife or whatever she uses deeper, or if it's not clean, the weapon. " You need to encourage her to find something enjoyable to do, a sport that she enjoys or art. Instead of shutting herself in, let her spend more time with other people. I came out of the hole in my life by cycling I recommend it as a sport because it takes time, hem a lot of energy and is also an individual sport, that is, you depend on yourself and your will, but if you are in a team others will help you when you die. If he doesn't like sports, let him paint, dance or whatever he likes to do. The important thing is to be at peace with yourself.