Hello, I know that there are many topics in this area, but my case is a little different. My parents are very good people, they love me and my sister very much, they quarrel, which is completely normal for a family, but they love each other a lot. It all started this year when I took my mother's phone (with her permission) to take pictures of something for 5 minutes and while she was with me I noticed that a man (her former colleague) was writing her some intimate message, but I did that I didn't see anything and didn't tell my mom. I went to my room, but the doubt in me prevailed, I took the laptop and opened the chat with it ... which I regretted, I couldn't believe that a woman whose family is all to behave like that ... send him some intimate photos. I went to her and told her that I had seen only a small part of the chat (without the photos and in the non-intimate part, when I told her that her Facebook was left open, without telling her that I had seen something while filming. ) and started a crazy scandal and after I said that I would tell everything to my father, she replied that if he left her he would take his own life. My father didn't understand anything, in the meantime she removed him from friends and everything was fine, until a few months later. One day, my father was gone and I went to the toilet, then I heard my mother whispering on the phone, but almost nothing could be heard, then when she heard me she started talking as if the conversation was about work, whispering from time to time. and at last he evidently realized that I had deliberately delayed, and shut up by telling him he was eavesdropping on them. I don't know how to react on the one hand, I can't believe my mother cheats on my father like that, on the other hand, as far as I know, my father may never forgive her if she finds out and I don't know what to do, and if I talk to my mother about this, it will get worse and our friendship will die. She loves my father and he loves her very much, but this case affects me very badly, I can no longer look my father in the eyes because I want to cry and say everything, also my mother because she will understand that there is something and we will quarrel again. It's just that if he doesn't take any measures I'm afraid he will continue to cheat on him and if not with that one, he will be with someone else that there is something and we will quarrel again. It's just that if he doesn't take any measures, I'm afraid he will continue to cheat on him, and if not with that one, he will be with someone else. that there is something and we will quarrel again. It's just that if he doesn't take any measures, I'm afraid he will continue to cheat on him, and if not with that one, he will be with someone else.
Answers 31
You are silent. This is in short. There is no point in telling anyone anything. It's better for you and the other participants in the story.
Oh, darling. Children should not know such things ... Your mother acted foolishly! Instead of sitting down and talking to you, she tries to explain to you, if she has to lie to you that she will change ... She screams! And threatens! This is rude, selfish and ridiculous. Under no circumstances should you tell your father. If he doubts himself, he will find a way to understand. Before you decide if you want your father to know, you need to answer a few questions: "Is your father able to forgive?" - If you do not forgive her, are you able to stay and live with him, because you will have a very tense relationship with your mother? - Even if you forgive, are you aware that the situation at home will become terrible, even unbearable at times? Separately, you do not know their relationship. Maybe he has one you just don't know about. If you still want to know, find a way to do it,
Stay away. Otherwise you will "wash the towel". Your mother is a great person - she knows what and why she does it. You are still young to judge her. When you get married you will understand.
Because of your age, you think something fatal has happened. But the truth is that this happens, in 99%, of families. It is better not to interfere, so as not to live later, with divorced parents. Sometimes there are problems, but people manage to stay together. Do not think that you are smarter, and that without your intervention, you can not.
Okay, thank you all for the comments! You're right, I'll keep quiet and leave things in the hands of fate! I will leave them to decide for themselves what will happen to them.
"Great" tips !!! At what rate is morale collapsing. We wonder why so many families fail, with loud applause from people with little or no morale. Women wonder why they are abandoned by men and why there are not enough stupid men who just bring money home and they "handle" whoever they fall for. The author, obviously you do not have a great relationship with your mother, and it is clear what she can teach you. At least try to be on good terms with your father, and that doesn't mean keeping things quiet! When your father finds out, to put it mildly, he will not be happy that you were silent. Think about what your father and casual passers-by who want only sex from a light woman can give you.
Make him understand without actually showing your involvement.
Read the topic "My mother cheats on my father" from this site and draw your own conclusions. Take a look at the last three comments. The same adulterous people living in lies and hypocrisy advise children to live with the psychological burden of one parent's infidelity.
Are you better now? Watching your lover and mother make fun of your father. If you are silent and watch, you become their accomplice. How will you live in lies and pretense, if after a while your father learns that you knew and were silent. Most of them advise you to stay here, that's why there are so many broken families. Because in time your mother will become estranged from your father, because she is meeting a lover. Better tell your father better. This is your family, there is no place for foreign men in it !!!
Giving your soul to your partner is cruel, whether people realize it or not. It is a betrayal of one's own worldview in a relationship. Thoughts, feelings and most of all intimate love attitudes are suppressed. No man deserves to be betrayed if he is loved. Love does not tolerate betrayal, if it appears, love goes away. Remember that you do not have to steal the negatives of traitors, no matter how dear they are
I have a feeling that these topics are made up. It's full in the forum with "mom cheats, what to do", how did I not see "dad cheats". Am I the only one who thinks that the topics are a provocation? Someone thought that all women cheat. And in every story, the lover is also married. Are women dumb and can't hide or do children find it normal for their fathers to shout and not write in the forums? I know more men who cheat than women. Even in company they find them cool and the other men are happy that they have knocked something new. However, it becomes an egati drama if someone is cheated on. I no longer believe in these topics.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to give advice. I know it's not good to be silent, because in this way I encourage my mother to be kind, but I can't tell them and watch my happiness and family collapse because I'm not she was silent. Regarding the relationship between me and my mother, we have a very good relationship, we have a great and full-fledged friendship, which rarely exists, but it was all until the day we quarreled. We have had a friendship ever since, but it's not like that, because doubts and questions always remain in me.
From the author: Number 13: This topic is not invented. What is happening and affecting my family is true and I would not invent anything like this to have more readings or sympathy from people - I just want advice from people who are more competent than me or have experienced something like this to be able to help me. My father is not a hoyka, his only negative trait is that he looks at women, but what man doesn't? They both love each other very much. It sounds like I made my father a saint, he's not perfect, but for me he's the perfect man besides the trait I mentioned above, but I think it's normal for men to stare.
"13. However, it becomes an egati drama if someone is cheated on. I don't believe in these topics anymore." Yes, it's a big drama because they usually cheat on the decent ones. They cheat on men who work hard for the family. And most women want equal rights but obligations as the weaker sex. Author, I give you an example with me, my son felt in the beginning that his mother was doing something wrong, he was not 100% sure. He chose to last, and things got worse. It is much better to end things early and have a chance for your family - which is yours, your father and your mother. Probably your mother is pre-critical and is as crazy as most women this age. Your father may be able to "swallow" a few months of running, but if it lasts for years ??? It has been said thousands of times: infidelity does not solve problems, it only increases them. Your mother, if there is really a problem with your father to divorce. And then to go "scratching" (without apology) with whomever she wants, and in the old days she will be warmed by memories of how many men have received free sex. But she wants several men without notifying your father of the situation.
It sucks to be an involuntary accomplice to your mother. But! Think carefully about how your father will react. There are men who kill for it in their rage. You will be left without a mother and without a father. Otherwise, if you do not say it will continue and may be too much. Hard decision...
Author, it is not normal for your father to look at women so that his child notices and knows. And if you know it, then do it in your presence. Accordingly, your mother knows. And she must be very offended. Such behavior of the man can seriously hurt the woman, make her feel disliked, unwanted and unloved. Even if she had a serious need for someone to feel wanted, beautiful and unique. If your father does not respect her, and stares at women, which is disgusting, then she has the right to find love and comfort. Probably he's not only staring, but he's probably cheating too, you just didn't catch him. Take his phone sometimes, ostensibly by accident, and you may come across quite interesting things. But my advice is-tell your father. Maybe you can help your mother get a divorce sooner and find true love,
If it is normal for you to look at men, it is normal for women to look at it :) grow up at least at this level, not only to protect mom or dad, your mother is not doing the right thing, say and stop, otherwise you will tell him that you don't want to ruin your family and lie, and hurt your father if he likes to stop, and it's best not to get confused.
From the author: my father stares, to know that it is nasty and disgusting and I am very sick, but he really never cheated on my mother. He is very bad at technology, he has neither Facebook nor anything. He gives his phone to me, to my mother, to my sister and no one has ever found anything wrong, he leads all his conversations in front of us and has no secrets from us, and this is not the first time for my mother. I know about at least one more time, but then I was 8-9 years old, and my sister was too young to know the seriousness of it. Mom really loves Dad and he loves her, but I don't think Dad cheats on her, and since he talks to me often and hides almost nothing from me, he says he would never cheat on her and that if she kicked him out and found someone else, he will respect her choice and will continue to care for us and love us as she has so far.
"18. If your father does not respect her, and stares at women, which is disgusting, then she has the right to find love and comfort." And how to say that both sexes are equal?!?!?! Even the child who is a future woman thinks that the father is the conscious one in the family, and her mother wonders which scoundrel dealing with married people is happy. If her father smiles at a woman, does her mother have half the neighborhood right to squirm? Isn't that number 18? Typical thinking for a gold digger and all kinds of users! If her father accidentally sees a naked woman on TV, then her mother has the right to touch dozens of men naked. Number 18 I hope that if you have a serious man next to you to use you only for sex, in case you get up for it!
Your mother loves your father very much, that's why she has a lover, That's why they love each other so much ??? Infidelity is never without consequences and everyone pays their price for it - including other people's guilt. The whole family - without exception. Parents, children, everyone - innocent and guilty. Your mother will destroy the family (not you) by acting rudely and irresponsibly on her own, selfish motives and motives. But you are part of this family and you also pay your price, so you have the right to take a stand, instead of "not messing around" and "living alone" and not witnessing these things - understand burying your head in the sand and to live complacently. Neglecting the problem, it will not be solved on its own, it will only deepen !!!
There is a home, security and money, but there is no tramp ... many women make a bad choice for a man, just to be married and "developed" in society. Another proof that sex and feelings stand before material values and security nonsense. People are polygamous. My ex-girlfriend is with a man she is not in love with and she regularly finds others. It's with him for the money. I tell her so many times, her children will not be happy, and she replied. Is it okay to create them with you? You who will not drive them to school. There are natural things in life, my friend. So many wealthy men are financially insolvent, but the anomaly is that they create a generation. You'd be pretty happy if the one your mother was fucking was your father. Do not follow in your mother's footsteps, find a man who attracts you after years ..
Let me first try to guess that Mom doesn't exactly love Dad, but loves what Dad provides - I hope you understand what I'm talking about! If Dad is bad with technology, you can find your uncle on Facebook and send him an invitation for friendship - such guys do not refuse young girls, and you can easily create a fake profile to pretend to be older. From there you have two paths, you play with your uncle, and when things get to invitations to meetings, visits, hotels, etc., you show everything to mom to know who she's dealing with (not that she doesn't know). The other option is to introduce yourself to your uncle at the right time and tell him that you know about him and mom, and soon dad will learn about it - uncle will evaporate in a minute, mom will wonder what happened (because uncle does not yes and say). Mom may get another uncle, but you will gain time, and your conscience will be clear that you did not leave things to fate. I wish you success and remember that even the most wrong action is better than inaction! There is a third, but quite extreme option - tell mom and dad that you are in love with a married man 12 years older than you and two children, tell them that you love each other and plan to live together. Guess what the reactions will be, how they will both rush to "save" you from wrongdoing, but this will unite them and hopefully your mother and the thoughts of the lover will evaporate. Judge for yourself how good an actress you can be because this game requires good acting skills and a healthy psyche, but it's a lot of fun. that even the most sinful action is better than inaction! There is a third, but quite extreme option - tell mom and dad that you are in love with a married man 12 years older than you and two children, tell them that you love each other and plan to live together. Guess what the reactions will be, how they will both rush to "save" you from wrongdoing, but this will unite them and hopefully your mother and the thoughts of the lover will evaporate. Judge for yourself how good an actress you can be because this game requires good acting skills and a healthy psyche, but it's a lot of fun. that even the most sinful action is better than inaction! There is a third, but quite extreme option - tell mom and dad that you are in love with a married man 12 years older than you and two children, tell them that you love each other and plan to live together. Guess what the reactions will be, how they will both rush to "save" you from wrongdoing, but this will unite them and hopefully your mother and the thoughts of the lover will evaporate. Judge for yourself how good an actress you can be because this game requires good acting skills and a healthy psyche, but it's a lot of fun. how they will both rush to "save" you from wrongdoing, but this will unite them and hopefully to your mother and the thoughts of the lover will evaporate. Judge for yourself how good an actress you can be because this game requires good acting skills and a healthy psyche, but it's a lot of fun. how they will both rush to "save" you from wrongdoing, but this will unite them and hopefully to your mother and the thoughts of the lover will evaporate. Judge for yourself how good an actress you can be because this game requires good acting skills and a healthy psyche, but it's a lot of fun.
I have your problem too, I am 12 years old from Varna, Konstantinovo, my mother works outside Varna as a warehouse manager, and she uses a bus every day to the city, the person who picks her up from the bus stop and drives her to work is a 60-year-old man. but young and shorter ... This man is intimate with mom, I can't accept him yet, in the evening I was standing under the bed in the room he shares with dad, who supports us with a salary of BGN 2,000, and works at the airport, and talks about how she will wait for him to return to the office at 17 00, the blinds will be down and she is very wet and ready to take him in ... I can't write anymore. Mom is intimate with this grandfather, but she's 40, because Dad "doesn't care", she tells him on the phone, and that there is no one to catch them, she talks about some bald monkey, a gypsy and a pregnant laurel, and what they did, I think they were mom's colleagues. I dare not tell Dad, but I want to share somewhere that I can barely stand, mom and grandpa to have a bread beetle, so they call him because he is a former baker! I want to explode, otherwise he wants to be an example
Author: I like to introduce myself to this man, he knows me because he and his wife are former colleagues of my mother and I have come to her work many times and everyone knows me there - a team of about 25-30 people. No, I don't think Mom loves you just because of sex, she thinks about it all the time, takes care of it, hangs out, kisses, Abe sometimes behaves like teenagers in love. It is normal to drive hay. They are always together for better or for worse. I think they often have sex because I hear them, their room is next to mine or if I don't hear them I understand (there's a way) anyway. I don't think a nearly 19-year relationship would be based on lies and intrigue, so I it's so hard to believe.
The author: Well, even if my father hurts my mother with his behavior, this does not mean that she has the right to seek solace in a MARRIED man, and with a daughter her age this is not normal, yet they write to this man's wife and have a good relationship somehow this is hypocritical on the part of my mother.
The author: That man has no conscience - he has a daughter my age - a woman who probably adores him, so I don't know what mom does for him and with him where there is nothing attractive in him, unlike dad he has a lot of charm. I still don't understand mom, dad has everything that can be desired in a man, he pleases her, he is skillful, he is creative, funny, smart so he is a dream man, he has his shortcomings, but it is still quite decent. Even Dad has a decent job, in which he makes a lot of good money, which is enough for everything. PS Until 1-2 years ago, that man and his wife were colleagues of my mother. And I know that he is not attractive because I have seen him and now especially since I know what is happening and I just vomit when I see his profile.
I look and I do not believe my ears! Your mothers fuck with some braziers, gypsies! And you, watch and watch. Are you asking on a forum to say or not to say? Wouldn't they say Sakan would ruin the family? Most comments are because they themselves cheat and hide. And they give wisdom and self-confidence here. I, too, have cheated, I know they use all sorts of lies and manipulations to deceive.
You are too young to understand. Your mother is so happy. Your father too. You are silent. Sometimes things like that happen. As you grow older, you will understand, and most likely you will. Don't ruin your family.
"Well, even if my father's behavior hurts my mother, that doesn't mean she has the right to seek solace in a MARRIED man." And what has the right to do? To be patient and silent while your father stares after each skirt? Do you want to make your mother a victim? And why shouldn't the victim be your father? Darling, those times are over, and we women have a right to be happy. And if you emphasize a MARRIED man like that, if he was unmarried, would it be better?
The author: number 30 I do not see what the problem is to seek advice from people here. If you don't like it, don't read it or at least don't comment on malicious comments. Thanks :)
I really wonder how most of the population has no mind left. Just because you're unhappy with your husbands and you're a feminist doesn't mean you have to protect your mother. All men stare - it's different to think something, but to do it completely differently. A lie. Of course you have to say. Your mother is obviously a very lowly woman and I'm not talking about infidelity - threatening your child is not normal. To commit suicide - let's see how brave she is. Suicide is not a joke. All the same comments in half of the topics about how the child should be silent. And then a lifetime to look for psychologists? I may still be a child, but I understand quite well what is behind most of the comments. Do not manipulate children because you are cheating and want to fool yourself that it is normal. Divorce first, then look for the good of the family. Author, you have to tell your father. One day she will understand and your mother will blame you, finally you will both lose because of her.