Everyone around me is moving forward, only I am standing still. I have written another time, I have told my miserable life and I do not repeat things. I don't know what to do anymore. I think it's just God playing with me, I don't know how I earned this life. I don't know when it all started, where I was so wrong. I'm alone, desperately alone. I don't have anyone, you know - absolutely no one. No family, no friends, no husband, no children. I have no one to rely on for anything. Tomorrow, if I fall and die, there will be no one to find me. I am 36 years old and so far I have not had a single joy in my life. I have never celebrated Christmas or New Year, no one has invited me to a birthday party. Nobody invited me to a meeting. If someone shows interest, he is only looking for sex and nothing more, and most often they are married "hermits". I don't understand - I'm not ugly, I'm not beautiful either. Women much uglier and lazier than me can't get rid of admirers, they have wonderful husbands. I'm not stupid or lazy. I just don't have the will or courage to take risks. I came home to live in the countryside because life in the city scared me. I barely found a damn clerical job. I work in a terrible team - limited women, without education, but with pretensions and a sense of superiority over me, although I am much more competent than them. They treat me like a second-hand person, gossip behind my back - why don't I get married, why don't I give birth, I'm something defective, the opposite and what not. You will say - get out of this village, go to town. I can not. I'm scared. I just have nothing to step on to start in the city - no job, no home, no one to lend me a hand to start. I barely survive on the salary I receive. I can't be absent from work to look for a new one. I don't have a car, I can't maintain it. I'm a prisoner. I spin in a vicious circle. I applied for a job abroad - everywhere they want fees and commissions of not less than BGN 700-1000. Where can I get this money and what guarantee do I have that I have not come across another fraudster. Now there is a change of leadership. A village squirrel is told to become a chief. An absolute simpleton and a waiter. And this one comes and tells me that his first job when he gets the job will be to fire me. I cried all night, then looked at the pill box for a long time and wondered if I should swallow it or not. Then I became so enraged that I decided to kill the bastard the moment he handed me the order. In this way, he will at least secure a lifetime of state support in prison - a roof and food. Anyway, I'm in prison now. I have nothing to lose. There are days when I have no one to talk to. I don't understand why they hate me - I didn't fit into the team. But we are talking about the following entry - in the morning there is at least an hour and a half of gossip - until everyone and everything is gone, they don't start work. They do their job incompetently, make simple mistakes, don't even know how to use a computer! They are bored and try to transfer their responsibilities to me. Since I don't want to take part in the morning gossip and I don't want to do someone else's work for which he gets paid - I didn't fit in! And accordingly, I was offered the first lane for dismissal. I do not know what to do. I get depressed - I sway between complete despair, anger and a desire for revenge. I can not do anything. I just don't have a back, no one to stand up for me and they know it very well. They just enjoy roasting me over low heat. I'd better kill myself, or kill this drummer first, to make it easier for me at least once in my life, and then kill myself. I'm going crazy! I imagine swinging a huge knife or ax and cutting off his head, and it's a lot easier. I can't anymore, I really can't, I can't stand it, I don't have the strength anymore! All my life I was alone, all my life I struggled for survival. I want at least a little normal life, a little peace and security. all my life I have been fighting for survival. I want at least a little normal life, a little peace and security. all my life I have been fighting for survival. I want at least a little normal life, a little peace and security.
Answers 12
Ironically, in the real world, a lifetime is not enough to find the person you are looking for, and here you can meet him in a confession ... I am a man and if I knew a woman like you, I would not hesitate to do anything for be happy with me! Greetings, I hope you find happiness soon!
If you claim to have the necessary qualifications and education, and you are also intelligent and good at your job, why don't you apply for the position? The one on whom the appointment depends would assess your capabilities, I guess. And if they appoint you as a boss, you can show them on the village sticks who is the best man, who is the bride and who is the bride's brother.
Hi, I read your story and there was no way I couldn't write something ... I think you're wasting too much time criticizing people. The world is not rosy, that's right, but you shouldn't burden yourself and shut yourself in, blaming the rest of the world for everything around you. Every person has misfortunes all the time, but the goal is to overcome them. And you are obviously from this type of people who only complain and do absolutely nothing to improve things ... There is a thought that says that our life is what WE think ... You have a negative attitude towards everything and everyone =) everything comes back to you in exactly the same way ... The only advice I can give you is to turn to yourself, to get to know each other, to start the day with a touch of positivism, to you accept the world as it is, people with their shortcomings and to go out a little .. I think you lack communication ... Remove all fears by coming face to face with them .. If this is not within your power, go to a good psychologist who understands his profession . Success :) passion____
Watch American beauties or something like that american beuty. Well, since you have nothing to lose, why not take a risk? Go to the city, find a job, say your opinion about people right in front of your eyes and never take anything inside me. When a person understands that he has nothing to lose, then he is free. It's never too late to meet someone, I know a man who is 41 and has no wife and children, but when I look at him he has not set out to put paradise on his life, he is even very positive. I'm 21 and I don't have many friends and I don't have a girlfriend
I support 3
I would help you if there was a way. I live in a bigger city, but even here unemployment is desperate. I don't think you should be so negative about life. You have many opportunities while you are alive and well. This is the most important. I think very soon something good will happen to you that will turn your life around and when you look back you will wonder how you could have wasted so much time and nerves on nonsense. If you still lack communication, leave some coordinates and I will write to you. I'm a woman, I'm not much intelligent, I hope this is not a problem for you, I'm not the opposite :). Tighten up and try to be more open and talk about what you think, otherwise there is no way people will understand what you are. That's how life is. A hug!
№ 2 - I cannot apply for the position. You just don't understand what you're talking about. This is a "red" village. The color of the party booklet can still be seen here. Party affiliation has such strong roots that it doesn't matter what you studied, how capable you are - if your father was a party functionary at the time - you have an advantage. This is exactly the case with this candidate - he can't even write correctly - he makes mistakes that a third-grader wouldn't make. He tries to misappropriate company funds and doesn't even worry when he is exposed - on the contrary, he starts insulting and threatening the one who exposed him. He doesn't know the laws, he doesn't know what he's doing, but he tries to command everyone - he makes accountants commit crimes for which they are criminally liable. He constantly comes into conflict with the staff and threatens dismissal. However, the elite and the bosses protégé him because his father, who is the same simpleton by the way, used to be a "party member". Because I refused to be a member of the party / we are talking about the BSP / and I was completely rejected. Such demonstrative isolation has been imposed on me, they probably hope that I will leave on my own, but they did not know - this job is the only thing I have left and I will fight with blood for it, I said I have nothing to lose. On № 3 I will say - if it is not close to your head, save the common clichés! I was positive, I was cheerful and contactable - in return I received ridicule, ridicule, attempts to belittle my personality. To go to a psychologist - done! But you're going to pay for my sessions, aren't you? Because I can barely make ends meet! Yes, I know that I have a psychological problem and it prevents me from moving forward, I am afraid of change, I have no will to take risks, I am insecure, I am complex, I do not trust anyone - these are all problems that can be overcome with therapy. But the therapy costs MONEY. And I don't have them! In order to make money, I have to leave this village and find a decent job and environment, but I am afraid of change because I have a PROBLEM. And so the circle closes - I just can't get out of it alone, don't you understand? To go out a little, you say? Where? I told you that I don't have a car, I don't have extra money, the transport to the city is expensive, the restaurants too. And when I go to the city to a restaurant where I don't know anyone - what? I will sit alone and look dumb as for this purpose I pay BGN 20-30. I can sit alone and look dumb at home, and with the 20-30 BGN in question. to pay your phone bill. It is very easy to cliché life when you yourself have not been in the place of the other. And I don't complain all the time, I usually cry on my own without disturbing the peace of others. I just got a lot right now, but really a lot. I have no one to share with, so I shared it here anonymously. If I had parents, a husband or friends - I would share with them, if I had money, I would share with my psychotherapist, but because I do not have it I share on this site.
And what do you suggest we stand and watch the fat communists think they are still 1980? Don't be afraid of this rubbish, if you meet the norms to apply for the post, do it, and if there is Shurobadzhanism, call a journalist like Karbovski to tease them a little to see a communist hiding like a mouse in a hole. BE you are very afraid of these swindlers was. I'm number 2
... not that something, but how do you spend 20-30 leva without friends and relatives? I have a company of 50 people, I talk 400 minutes a month and even with mobile internet my bill is under BGN 30 ...
Ще си позволя да пиша на "ти", ако няма проблем. Виждам, във второто обяснение, че си наясно с някои от психологичните пречки, които имаш. Всъщност това вече е крачка напред. Много хора не осъзнават собствената си роля и значение в посоката на живота им. Независимо как си достигнала до тези изводи, важното е, че си ги направила за себе си. Да, положението ти не може да се нарече "розово". Но след като пишеш тук значи имаш достъп до интернет и компютър. Което ти отваря сериозна възможност. Има сайтове, които предлагат самопомощ, така без да даваш пари можеш поне да започнеш борбата с тези пречки, които изброи. Има сайтове, които предлагат информация и възможности чрез Йога и медитация. Упражненията са лесни и напълно безплатни. Все повече терапевти приемат медитацията като част от добрата терапия. Да, това което трябва да направиш е трудно. Но ми прави впечатление, че обръщаш много внимание на това какви са и какви не са хората и обстоятелствата около теб. Ядосвай се, сърди се, плачи, но те няма да се променят. Знам, че е клише, но живота и хората около нас не са устроени така, както на нас ни харесва. И принципът, щом аз съм добра и те трябва да са добри с мен, определено не действа. Ще се поразровя да видя дали мога да намеря още някакви възможности, които поне първоначално да ти дадат начален тласък. Пожелавам ти повече вътрешна увереност и сила.
I wish you success - There is always a way out !!!
I see that the topic is old, but if you take a look, share, please, how are you, what is happening to you now? I hope the bad is long gone!