Hello! I am writing to you because I am about to part with my husband. We have a 2-year-old child and the story with my mother-in-law started when I got pregnant. Before, I didn't seem to pay attention to her until it was awful. We don't live together, but it's hell. The child has never looked after him for more than half a day and these are 2 or 3 times, she constantly came to us to see the child, in order to do some work for her company and so on for almost 2 years. During this visit he started quarrels about the companies with his son in front of me and the child. I couldn't stand it and asked him not to come to us anymore. Then it started that I didn't give her the child, and when it comes to watching him, she always has work to do. Now it's a situation I don't know how to do. After a series of quarrels with my husband and her, my parents intervened, killing me in front of them and the child. 90% of our quarrels are because of her and I don't know what to do. She constantly sets him against me and my parents, and on top of that she claims to help the child and interfere there as well. I want to keep my family, and I can't stand this control over everything.
Answers 4
Even before I opened the topic, I was sure it would be for an out-of-control mother-in-law. I just felt it. And mine is very powerful and obsessive. He does not live with us, but he constantly shakes us without warning and lifts our house upside down. He is confused about everything, he does not comply with our schedule ... We do not have a child. I imagine what a miracle it would be if we had ... like you :( My husband keeps asking me to do some work, he tries to refuse, but it's so annoying that he gets to work on some of the tasks, only so that he doesn't snort. At least he's on my side firmly. Whenever she tries to set him against me, she protects me. I think you should be prepared to move out with the child. -important luggage, etc. Everything should be secret - your husband and mother-in-law should not know. Once you are completely ready, give an ultimatum to your husband. Either that harassment stops, or you leave. If he starts to twist or refuse, you go out with the child on time. This sudden and definite reaction will startle him. Then, if he asks you to return, you will determine the conditions. And if not ... it's hard, I know, but think about it, could you be married for life to your mom? I sincerely sympathize with you and keep my fingers crossed that things will end well and that your family will survive !! BM could you be married for life to mom too? I sincerely sympathize with you and keep my fingers crossed that things will end well and that your family will survive !! BM could you be married for life to mom too? I sincerely sympathize with you and keep my fingers crossed that things will end well and that your family will survive !! BM
Are you OK? !! How are you going to dump your husband for your mother-in-law? You are neither the first nor the last daughter-in-law of this world. Everyone has suffered more or less. And she's his mother, he can't stop seeing her. Just don't interfere in their affairs, go out somewhere and reduce contact with her. She is not stupid, she will understand the hint. And you have no right to deprive her grandson of seeing him, they are one blood and one day, your child can stand by her side if you deprive him of contact. So smart.
Author I will tell you something that happened to me. So I also had a "bad mother-in-law" and once I talked to an unknown grandmother in her 70s. I asked her and did you once have problems like ours now with your mothers-in-law? And she answered me ooo even bigger, but we had no right to take offense, even to get angry, like you now. Because our men were out of the village, some with the sheep in the pens all summer, some with trade in the city for weeks, and we the daughters-in-law locked up with the mother-in-law "servants" in her house. If the mother-in-law let them go, they could visit their mother for two hours, otherwise they could not, without permission. My grandmother also told me that she, for example, used to go to wash the sheets on the river with the other "brides". and unfolding one of the dirty sheets to have an aborted baby in it (her mother-in-law aborted wrapped the embryo and gave her daughter-in-law a washing sheet) for the women to tell her not to keep the babies "barren". At such moments you could not accuse your mother-in-law of abortion and you are silent, and women talk to you in seats. Since then, I decided that ours today is much easier and the way to deal with a mother-in-law is not to quarrel with her husband. He, as a son, cannot change her, she is like that and we should not be angry, but to win our husband well, we daughters-in-law should be a priority in the eyes of our husbands, and mothers-in-law should go around. When you win your husband, you and your child to be his priority, then he himself will postpone commitments made by his mother. You author have a child, how can your child change your thinking, realize your husband is not guilty, that his mother is such that his mother does this or that. When you spit on him in front of him what to do, in this way you blame him for her words and actions and he of course attacks you because he is innocent. This is how your scandals happen, it doesn't make sense, you only lose from your words.
Maybe I didn't specify, I don't want to change it or stop the connection with it. On the contrary, I want to have a normal relationship, which I have tried to make many times. I also said that when she is free to take the child. I just want a cultural relationship, but things are constantly distorted. I helped and always did what I could, nor did I have any pretensions about anything, I showed respect, but at one point the glass overflowed and I just asked my husband, wanting his mother to have a relationship with the grandson through him. And I know that he is not to blame, he is even aware of her behavior, but she is his mother, who shatters us all, and if some do not obey, the stories begin. I wanted advice on how most people manage to endure situations in their lives from this aspect.