I Want It To Stop ... It Hurts

   Apparently he is a married man, probably with children. Familiar story. If you do not have a future together, you just have to endure until the wound heals, because crying and moaning will not help, you will only annoy others, and they will avoid you. And so you will make the situation worse. The recipe is clear, you just have to apply it: find activities that will distract you from thinking about your personal life. That is, do not think only of yourself. Try to get into the situation of some other people, close or more distant, so you will find reconciliation with your destiny. The other thing you can do is try to find the shortcomings in That person, because he undoubtedly has them, there are no perfect people, love is an illusion in which you see the object of your feelings not as it is, but to him. you attribute all sorts of imaginary qualities.

   You now look like a child whose favorite toy was taken away because it is not his, they just let him play with it for a while. And now it is roaring, so it breaks because it has finally realized that it is a stranger ... Well, these tragedies are childhood - in time you will see that life does not touch one toy, you will find another toy and you will completely forget for the previous one. Try to grow a little. And you do not need to isolate yourself from people - on the contrary, in them is your salvation.

   He is either too big or married. Why are you in a relationship with someone who doesn't bring you anything good? You're just used to it. The first love for this is the first, but there is a second, a third, and so on until you meet the person for you. Try other people, meet other characters.

   Dear girl, I am 18 years old and despite my little experience I have fallen in love with all sorts of guys. Girls like us look at the soul, not what kind of person we go out and love. My advice is life is to be lived. Be with him once you love him for love there are no limits. If you consider him your man, you will not find him elsewhere. Be with him, and when the bad day comes when you will part, you may find that he was not your man for other reasons. I liked a man 11 years older than me. I was with a fat boy, even though I was slender and thin. Even with shorter people. I don't know what your story is, but in life we ​​are people with skin - we don't choose how to look. We look at people by their actions.

   Problem number one - for a long time you were alone and idealized your vision for a "relationship". The first relationships that resemble such relationships are raised on a pedestal, but in reality, if you can't be together - it's not so perfect at all. Problem number two - you put it on your mind. Which is normal in the beginning ... it gets better over time. Now ... it depends on what type of people you are. You may never stop loving him in some way, but after a year or so, everything fades. Brother.

   First of all, I want to add that sometimes it is better to tell your story with every dirty "secret" than to hint and leave the rest to people's imagination. I don't think who imagined what, I suspect that they are more terrible events than the real ones. Otherwise ... well, we all think we'll never fall in love and love again, but that's what happens in the end. Sometimes it takes months, other times it takes years. I understand you, seriously. And my heart was under that kind of tension. I was with one person for a long time because he was everything I wanted. I endured bad treatment for a year and a half, because a year and a half ago, things were wonderful between us. I let him convince me that all the problems I see are just in my head. I blamed myself for countless things. He just wasn't committed to our relationship. He didn't cheat on me or touch me, but his general demeanor was cold. I was alone for hours every night because he was playing or talking to friends. We watched what he wanted. We had sex when he was in the mood. My circumstances were wrong, not his, because somehow I was in love and blind for years. Boom ... I remember crying, shouting, arguing, praying. I trampled on my whole ego for his sake. Because sometimes it was different and sometimes he was great with me. I am most proud that in a few minutes I managed to get out of my own body (metaphorically) and looked at things from the side. I wanted something better for myself. I wanted a person with whom I would feel good and with whom we would talk about important things openly. I wanted to go to bed with someone in the evening, go out with them in the afternoons, and laugh, not shout. I could cry on my own, why did I have to do it when I was with him? Why did the man who was supposed to be my support have to be in pain? I'm sorry, it will probably sound terribly inflated, but I really believe that I deserve shared feelings and warmth. I think everyone needs peace and love. Author, tighten up. Love does not hurt, but people's attitude is painful sometimes. If it was worth it, you would not always suffer and you would not fall into such a pit at the moment. So I moved on. I didn't want to be with anyone and for a long time I couldn't even imagine being with another person. I didn't force myself, I just lived. Some days I didn't go out, and others I almost didn't go home. I spent time with my friends and all the other relationships in my life that are not romantic and intimate. Sometimes I went to different places, like cafes and excursions, without any desire, but I knew that I will have fun. I just allowed myself to live without everything revolving around a gentleman who is used to being the center of his own universe. I needed your attention, you needed your attention. You need yourself much more than he needs you. Stop pouring from empty to empty and suffer. Otherwise, I still love him in some perverse way. I want him to be well, I worry about him from time to time. It happened that I didn't think about him for weeks, and then I remembered some trifle and took an hour for memories and reflections. I'm just afraid to trust him again, I don't want to be with him, because I don't want to go through all this hell a second time and feel insecure, crushed, insignificant again. It seems that my attitude towards me has surpassed my love for him. It does not sound OK, it even sounds disgusting, but I really can't do all this again and I don't want to be with him. I believe that one day you will understand me. I hope you don't have to go through everything bad to make it happen. Ultimately, it's up to you. When we broke up, I cried and it hurt, but then at least it started to pass ... if I had stayed with him, I would have roared like that without any improvements, I could have cried all my life alone and felt like nothing.

   When you truly love someone, it doesn't pass, it doesn't get sick. I am in a similar situation (although we are separated from mine for reasons created by his parents / they did not approve of the fact that we are from different religions and the fact that I am an orphan and have no parents /) for 2 years I neither forget nor stop it hurts, as with you, everyone else is indifferent to me, I don't go out, I don't have fun, only from work - home and from home to work, I have become a shadow of myself, I can't give you advice if and I have not escaped this trap. I only hope that one day it will pass.